


Swerve

by koganphrancis



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance, Some mentions of violent occurances from the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-25 12:46:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 99,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6195643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koganphrancis/pseuds/koganphrancis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An AU to Season Six of Shameless.  The title refers to me swerving around the BS the writers are shoving down our throats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Have Very Far To Fall

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the beginning of this as a drabble on my blog months ago, and I started a story before the show started airing its Season Six episodes writing what I would like to see happen instead of whatever the Shameless writers were actually going to give us for Season Six. I wanted to have the story completed before I began posting it, but it's taking me longer and longer to get it done and in the meantime the show is giving us more and more difficult crap to deal with, so I'm just going to start posting what I've already done. I've completed the first 5 chapters and have the rest of the story mapped out, but getting to write the final few chapters might still take a while longer. My original introduction written back in January concluded with: I'm totally ignoring the prison scene and tattoo in Season Six because I can't see how Mickey would end up in jail this time, since there's no evidence to convict him with. Anything I speculate about certain “new” characters is mostly made up by me, I got the name and the profession from what people have been saying online, but beyond that, everything is made up.

Introduction/drabble (this takes place right after Sammi shoots at Mickey and Mickey takes off):

Lip found Ian up in their room, just sitting on his bed, staring at some middle distance point between the end of his nose and the wall on the other side of the room.

     “Hey, any word from Mickey?” Lip asked.  Ian made a vague negative motion with his head.  “Did you try calling him?” Lip persisted.  Ian didn’t even bother responding that time, just turned his head towards the window, away from Lip.  Lip pulled the desk chair over to Ian’s side of the room and straddled it backwards.  “I know the obvious answer, but…what the fuck is wrong with you?” Lip said, exasperation starting to creep into his voice.  “This is Mickey I’m talking about and…”

     “And he’ll probably get twenty years for attempted murder.  He’s too old to go to juvie anymore, he’ll be tried as an adult,” Ian said.

     “Any public defender, even an incompetent one, will get those charges kicked-there were no witnesses except for Debs, and she won’t snitch.  Hell, if anything, she was an accomplice.  But from what she’s told me, Sammi drank from the soda bottle-which is long gone-when no one was around and then was trapped in that box for a week so any biological evidence got pissed away, plus there’s no way to tie it to Mickey even if they proved she was drugged, it’s not like he had a prescription for rufies in his name.  Any physical evidence on the storage unit is circumstantial and no one can prove Mickey put her in there.  By Sammi’s own admission she was unconscious when that happened so she can’t testify that she knew how she got there.  Anyone who’s watched any lawyer show on TV ever will get your boyfriend out of jail, don’t you worry.”

     “We broke up,” Ian mumbled, looking down at his listless hands on his lap.

     Lip was taken aback.  “You and Mick…”

     “I broke up with him, rather,” Ian said.  It sounded like a sigh.

     “What did he say?” Lip asked, not knowing what to ask.

     “That he loves me,” Ian said simply.

     Lip closed his eyes and tried to count to ten, but only made it to three.  “And yet, you broke up with him anyway?  Don’t you love him?”

     “That’s not the point, Lip.  The point is, he’s in love with someone I’m not.  He wants to change me.”

     “I’m pretty sure he loves you any way you are…” Lip began.

     “NO.  He wants someone I’m not, someone I can’t be anymore."  Ian finally looked Lip in the eye, defiantly.  "He wants to _change_ me.”

     “So the fuck what?” Lip asked, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up.  “You changed him…”

     “I did not,” Ian insisted, the defiance growing.

     Lip snorted.  “Please.  You made him come out to be with you.”

     “But that didn’t change him-he was always gay.  I just got to the ‘real’ him and got him to live his life in the open.”

     “And you don’t think that changed him?  Getting beat almost to death by his psycho father?  Being able to walk into hospitals and police stations and tell anyone who asked that he was your boyfriend, your lover-does that sound like the 'real’ Mickey Milkovich to you?  You rendered miracles with that man, don’t sell yourself short.  And then, when it comes to you?  He’ll forgive anything.  You slept with other guys, you took off on him and joined the army, you came back and _stole_ his kid, and all he did was hug you and thank god you were all right when he got you back.  Did he give you one word of recrimination?  Did he punch you for what you put him through?  No, he just took you back and loved you the best he knows how.  All he asked of you is 'Don’t die.'  He’ll sleep with one eye open for the rest of his life and take it if you bash his head in with a baseball bat, just to be near you.  He loves you, man.  He just doesn’t want you to die.”

     Ian tilted his chin up.  “Everyone dies, anyone could get hit by a bus tomorrow,” he said.

     “Especially if there’s a voice in their head telling them to jump in front of it,” Lip said, frustrated and pissed off not at his brother, but at the disease that was convincing him that what he was saying made more sense than Lip.  “Mickey’s probably the only motherfucker strong enough to stand what you’re going to go through, don’t you know?” he finished, quietly, looking down at the smoke coming from the end of the cigarette he was holding down by his knee. 

     “Brotherfucker,” Ian said in a soft voice.

     “What’s that?” Lip asked, looking back up into Ian’s face.

     “You called Mickey a motherfucker, but I’m your brother and he and I fuck, so I’d say to you, he’s a brotherfucker,” Ian explained seriously.

     Lip shook his head, as if to clear it.  “Between the disorder and the meds, you take deadpan to a whole nother level,” he said, getting up off the chair and picking it up by the back to return it to under the other bed.  “You’ll have to give me some sort of sign that you’re joking from now on." 

     Ian flicked his middle finger up with one hand while digging his phone out of his hoodie pocket with the other.  It wasn’t a big hostile gesture like when Mickey flipped someone off, but Lip took it as a good sign.  He waved as he put the chair back and left the room.  Ian slid his phone unlocked and then rubbed his thumb up and down the side of it, hesitating to call Mickey.  All he had to do was hit "redial”, his last call had been to Mickey before Mickey came running over from his house as fast as he could, just like Ian had run to Mickey that day Monica crashed back down into their lives that time years ago…Ian powered the phone all the way off. 

     He never wanted Mickey to feel about him the way he had felt about Monica that day.  Breaking up once with Mickey was bad enough.  Better to have Mickey disappointed in him than terrified of him.

     Lip stood on the other side of the door, his forehead resting against the wood.  When a few minutes went by and he didn’t hear Ian make the call, he turned around and rested against the door, letting it hold up most of his weight.  Ian would come around.  They’d get his meds stabilized and Ian would realize how much he and Mickey loved each other and that he needed Mickey in his life.  Lip knew the road would probably be rocky, and that Ian and Mickey both would probably stumble across some major fucking stupid obstacles along the way, but in the end, their love was stronger than anything else life was bound to throw at them. 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

 

 

 

 

About a year later:

 

A lot had changed over the past twelve months or so in a lot of ways.  About the only thing that had remained the same was Ian and Mickey not talking.  Lip had parted ways with his married professor lover and was actually living in a small apartment near his university with Mandy.  Mandy had returned to Illinois when Kenyatta dumped her to start an affair with the woman a meth dealer had hired him to bodyguard.  She had been the meth dealer's wife, but when he was gunned down in a deal gone bad, the wife stepped into his shoes as boss and took Kenyatta to her bed.  He jumped at the chance to be taken care of by a rich woman and dumped Mandy, who was thrilled and relieved to be dismissed from his life without having to die to get out.  She made her way back to Chicago and got a tiny apartment instead of moving back in with her family, she just wanted to try to make it on her own now that she was a little bit older.  Plus she had had enough drama with Kenyatta to last her a lifetime, she didn't want to get sucked back into Milkovich shenanigans.  She had a couple of jobs, one was at a McDonald's near the school campus, and Lip ran into her by complete chance one day when it was snowing so hard he figured he'd starve to death waiting for a crowded bus or the El if he didn't grab a Big Mac.  Mandy and Lip were both pretty shocked to suddenly find themselves face to face-Mandy had lost touch with Ian and no one but Mickey knew she was back in town.  Lip wound up hanging around till the end of her shift, and then instead of trying to make it home in the blizzard, he walked her to her nearby apartment and wound up staying the night, and basically had been living with her ever since.  They both had been through a lot, and had a lot to forgive each other for, but they managed and were getting along well.

 

Another big change that had occurred happened to Terry Milkovich: he was dead.  Killed in a prison stabbing and so finally out of his kids' lives forever, although the damage he had done lingered on in a lot of ways. 

 

Mickey was still living in the Milkovich house with Svetlana and Nika and Yevgeny and Iggy.  He saw Mandy fairly often-she wouldn't visit at the house, but she liked seeing Yevgeny, he was changing a lot at his age.  Sometimes Mickey would even hang out with Lip and Mandy, and one night Lip decided to probably stick his nose into something Mickey wouldn't want him sticking his nose into, but Lip had decided nothing was going to change otherwise unless he got involved.

 

“So, uh, Mick, I was talking to Ian the other day,” Lip began, and Mickey instantly stiffened and seemed like he was preparing for a blow.  Ian's name had studiously been avoided for over a year now; Lip never brought him up and Mickey never asked about him, he wouldn't even ask Mandy, although Mandy would pass information along.  Lip plunged on, too late to turn back now.  “He, um, he said it'd be all right if I gave you his new number.  It changed a while ago and he's pretty sure you never got the new one.”

 

Damn right Mickey never got the new one-how could he?  He also clearly remembered the day he found out Ian's old number was no longer in service, it was the last day Mickey had his old number too.  He smashed his phone into the wall after listening to the recorded message informing him the number he'd been calling to no avail for about a month was no longer in existence.  He'd been so frustrated by Ian's behavior back then.  Ian had dumped him, then ignored him, then cut him off all together.  And back then Mandy had been out of touch, so there was no way of Ian knowing that Mickey had had all charges dropped against him.  Anyway, Mickey wrecked his phone, got stinking drunk, and went to the Verizon store and bought a new phone and got a whole new number because Verizon hadn't been his carrier before.  And he didn't give a shit.  Or he told himself he didn't, anyway. 

 

Mickey wanted to give Lip one of his “old Mickey” responses, one like, “What the fuck do I need that for?”  But he couldn't find it in himself to do that, so he just handed his phone over to Lip and let him type in a new contact.  He took the phone back and shut it off without looking at it, and slipped it back into his pocket.  He met Lip's eyes, but Lip couldn't read anything there. 

 

A few days later Ian dropped by between his jobs to see Lip and Mandy.  Lip told him he had given Mickey the number, but when Ian asked did he think Mickey would use it, Mandy and Lip just shrugged.  “He took it, didn't he?” said Lip.  “I'd say that's a good sign he intends to call at some point.  Just gotta give it time, I guess.”  Lip really hoped Mickey would call Ian.  He'd never say it to Ian, but something had been lost for the longest time now.  Even though Ian was on his meds and was outwardly doing well at living a stable and productive life-well, productive enough for now-he just never seemed to be truly having fun, ever, anymore.  The sparkle that used to be in his eyes was gone, and Lip hoped it was just dormant and really hoped that Mickey could rekindle it.  Not by going back to anything they had before, necessarily, but just because being around Mickey always made Ian more alive and animated, even before all the Monica traits started popping up. 

 

A few days after that, Ian's phone rang while he was at work at Patsy's Pies.  He had been there a while now, and had been promoted from dishwasher to cook.  He actually had a knack for cooking a bunch of different stuff at once and having it all be ready at the same time.  The waitresses loved him because their tips went up with the quality of the food, plus he was so sweet and polite and always nice to everyone.  They couldn't get over the fact Ian and Fiona were siblings-when she was having a bad day, everyone knew about it.  You could never tell with Ian, though.  He was always quiet and polite and efficient, no matter what. 

 

Ian usually wouldn't take a call when he was working, especially not when he had a bunch of stuff going on the grill, but the past few days, since hearing from Lip that Mickey had his number, he answered no matter what he was doing.  He had talked to more telemarketers than he had ever spoken to in his life.

 

“Hello?” he said, praying the liver and onions on the grill could stand getting more cooking time than he'd normally give them.  There was just silence on the other end of the phone, and Ian was just about to hang up because that liver really needed to get onto a plate, and he needed both hands for that when he heard a voice he barely recognized say, “Ian?”  Ian grabbed a plate and put it near the grill and just sort of flipped the liver onto it and scraped up some onions and put it on the pick up counter, hoping the waitress it belonged to would notice, and slipped around the corner to where it was quieter.

 

“Mickey?” Ian said, and then didn't know what else to say.

 

“Yeah,” Mickey said.  “Look, Lip gave me your number...”

 

“I'm glad you called,” Ian said quickly, before the sentence could die away completely.

 

“Oh yeah?” Mickey said. 

 

“Yeah,” Ian said.  It was quiet again.  “Look, I'm at work...”

 

“Oh, yeah, sure, sorry to have interrupted,” Mickey said.

 

“No!  It's not that, well, it is that, I really need to get back to the grill, but...maybe we could meet up for...” Ian didn't know what they should meet up for.  He didn't really drink anymore, so even to suggest a beer sounded sort of wrong to him, and inviting Mickey to any kind of meal might sound too much like...

 

“How about meeting me for a pizza some night?” Mickey said.  “I've been taking some classes at Malcolm X, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays we get out at seven.  There's a quiet little pizza joint right by the school...”

 

“Sure!” Ian said, his voice more like the voice Mickey remembered.  “Is tomorrow too soon?”

 

“No, tomorrow is fine,” Mickey said.  “I've gotta eat almost every day...”

 

Ian chuckled, a good, honest to goodness chuckle and not one of the hysterical giggles that he came back from the Army with.  Mickey hated himself for even noticing, let alone being moved by, the difference. 

 

“I'll text you the address,” Mickey said. 

 

“Thanks,” Ian said.  “I, uh, I better get back to work.” 

 

The next night Mickey's class got out about fifteen minutes early and Mickey rushed to the pizzeria to snag a table.  Even though it was right near the school, it was a little bit pricey for struggling college students, so there were usually tables available to have a quiet talk, if that's what one desired.  Mickey had been to the place one other time; a guest lecturer had come to speak to his class and his professor wanted Mickey to have a chance to talk to him one on one about careers, as Mickey was that professor's star pupil.  Mickey was taking HVAC classes, and the guest speaker had been an engineer from Trane.  He was a good speaker and friendly and personable, and Mickey had enjoyed his speech at the school and then dinner after very much.  He was also the last guy Mickey had slept with-Mickey had had a few meaningless hookups after Ian dumped him, but they all left him feeling worse than the one before.  He had really hoped that since he had actually talked to and liked the guy it'd be different than his other encounters after Ian, but it wasn't-he still didn't feel anything.  The Trane guy didn't take it personally and said he'd still like to see Mickey when he came to town again, they'd just leave it at dinner though. 

 

Mickey was sitting at a high table near the back when the door of the place opened and Ian walked in.  In the moment Ian took to look around to spot Mickey, Mickey couldn't breathe.  Ian looked so handsome, his red hair gleaming under the track lights and his pale skin radiant even from across the room.  He looked older to Mickey, but the maturing was just adding to his good looks. 

 

“Hey,” Ian said when he got to the table, unwrapping his scarf and taking off his coat.

 

“Hi,” Mickey replied, trying not to stare at Ian too closely.  “Find the place okay?”

 

“Yup.  You been waiting long?”

 

“Naw, class got out early,” Mickey said, wondering how long he could keep up small talk. 

 

Ian sat down.  “You ordered yet?”  Mickey shook his head, and Ian picked up the menu.  A waitress came over and asked Ian what he wanted to drink.  “What are you having?” he asked Mickey, indicating the glass in front of Mickey. 

 

“Coke.”

 

Ian looked up at the server.  “I'll have the same, thanks.”  He smiled, but Mickey noticed how the smile didn't reach his eyes. 

 

“So, what's good here?” Ian asked Mickey.

 

Mickey shrugged.  “I've only ever had pizza, it was really good though-all fresh ingredients.”

 

“Sounds good, what are you in the mood for?” Ian said.

 

“Uh, I've gotten into veggies lately,” Mickey said, and took a sip of his Coke.  Ian looking at him was making his mouth dry.  “But we could get half and half if you wanted pepperoni or something.” 

 

“Naw, veggies sound good.  Order whatever you like, I'm sure I'll like it too.”

 

The waitress came back with Ian's Coke and he just smiled and took a sip while looking at Mickey, making it clear it was indeed up to him to order.

 

“Uh, could we get a large pizza with onions, green pepper, mushrooms, and broccoli, please?” Mickey said, adding to Ian, “We can change or take off any of that...”  Ian just shook his head no and smiled at the server again to let her know the order was fine with him, and she headed back to the kitchen to place the order. 

 

“Broccoli?” Ian asked eyebrows raised.  Mickey just shrugged and smiled a shy smile.  Ian tried another not quite question, “So, community college, huh?”

 

Mickey shrugged again and nodded.  “Figured I had to try to do something with my life.  Got my GED last year and enrolled this fall.” 

 

“You like it?” Ian said.

 

“Sure...” Mickey said, biting his lower lip.  Ian got the feeling that meant he liked it a lot, but was still reluctant to admit to it, for whatever reason.  Mickey was always cautious about letting his true feelings show when something was important or special to him, Ian remembered this.

 

“I got my GED last year too,” Ian said, to take the spotlight of Mickey, since he didn't seem too comfortable.  “We could've studied together.”

 

Mickey took a sharp breath.  Ian noticed it, but didn't react.  The words hurt him the minute they were out of his mouth too.  “I haven't done anything with mine yet,” Ian added.    

 

“Well, I'm not doing much, just part time classes so far,” Mickey said. 

 

“Mandy said you're doing really well, though, and that you got a job doing HVAC stuff already?”

 

Mickey was surprised, he didn't know Mandy had told Ian all that, but then he realized it made sense; she told him everything she ever heard about Ian. 

 

“Um, yeah, it's basically an apprenticeship, I guess you could say.  But it's really carrying tools and doing all the grunt work for the licensed guys I go out on jobs with,” Mickey said. 

 

“Pretty good way to case houses and businesses, huh?” Ian grinned.

 

Mickey grinned back.  “That had occurred to me too, but, naw.  I've gone legit.”

 

“Really?” Ian said sincerely, and the way he searched Mickey's eyes, Mickey felt like Ian really wanted to know.

 

“Uh, really,” Mickey said, licking his lips nervously again and looking down.  “Um, my dad got killed, did you know?”

 

“Yeah, Mandy told me.  I'd say I was sorry, but...”

 

“Yeah, I get it,” Mickey said.  His father was a huge shit to Ian and didn't deserve any of Ian's sympathy.  “So, I'm sure Mandy told you what she knew, but she didn't know everything.”

 

Ian looked even more interested now.  “What's 'everything'?” he asked.

 

Mickey took a deep breath and plunged in.  “He wasn't just stabbed by a fellow inmate.  His cock was cut off and stuffed into his mouth.  Whoever did it was never caught, but he clearly pissed off the wrong person, or people, in the joint.  The warden told me because somehow, after my mother died, I wound up on all Terry's paperwork as his next of kin.  Then they left it up to me to tell Mandy and my brothers, or not.  I decided not to.  Anyway, they figure either Terry's crew was getting too old to protect him anymore-more than a few of those guys have emphysema and spend more time in the infirmary than in the yard these days-or that a lot of the new convicts coming in are out and proud, or that he offended someone who has both power and at least a gay relative...anyway, lots of theories, and plenty of suspects even, but no proof.  The only thing they knew for sure was he wasn't raped first, just murdered.” 

 

Ian didn't know what to say.  He finally said, “Yeah, I guess Mandy doesn't need all the details.”

 

“She wouldn't care, I don't think,” Mickey said.  “The important fact is he's dead.  The warden just wanted to cover his ass in case we decided to sue since they couldn't catch the guy.  All I'd want to do if they caught who did it is shake his hand.”  Ian knew from Mickey's voice he wasn't kidding.  Besides, Ian felt the same way.  “So, the state gave us a cash settlement since he was killed on their watch, and I used it to pay off the mortgage on the house and put some into a savings account for Yev, then divvied the rest up between Mandy and my brothers.  I gave Mandy more than them because she wasn't living in the house anymore, plus I knew they'd spend theirs on crack, or whores, or crackwhores, which they did.  But it gave Mandy enough to pay first, last, and security for her apartment.” 

 

Ian had sort of wondered about how she had managed that, now he knew. 

 

“Anyway, it was a real wake up call to me.  I figured I better find a different way than what I'd been doing or I was going to wind up just like Terry, spending half my life in prison and dying messy.  I don't want Yev growing up embarrassed of me when I'm away, afraid of me when I'm at home, and I sure as hell don't want him wishing it had been him who did it if anyone ever called him in the middle of the night to say I had been murdered.”  Mickey sounded so bitter, Ian had never heard him like that before.  Mickey sighed a heavy sigh and continued.  “I finally realized what a lucky break I got when I didn't get charged for Sammi's abduction or the moving company scam and that I had to take advantage of the second chance I was getting.” 

 

“Yeah, what happened with that, anyway?” Ian asked.  Mandy had still been in Indiana when that happened, so Ian never knew any details.

 

“My public defender took everything Lip said to me and ran with it,” Mickey smiled, remembering.  Lip came to see him while he was still in holding-another thing Ian never knew about.  “It all came down to a lack of evidence.  I had the same PD for both sets of charges, and in Sammi's case, there really was no way to prove I had locked her in the storage box, plus there was no real harm done to her.  For the moving scam, the judge, my lawyer, the other lawyer, and the person trying to press charges were all women.  I just kept my trap shut while they argued, and the judge wound up turning on the woman whose stuff I stole when she heard she hadn't even tried to check me out with the Better Business Bureau or get a signed contract.  The judge said something about buyers beware, and that she basically got what she deserved for trying to save a few thousand bucks moving her shit.  Plus all her crap was insured.  I know it's still not a victimless crime, and if I ever save up some money I'll try to get it to her anonymously, but, yeah, that's how I got off.  I was still lost for a while there, but then I got the call about Terry, got really drunk for a few days, and then woke up and decided I had to make some changes.  I started seeing a shrink...” 

 

“What?!?” Ian choked a bit as cola went up his nose.

 

Mickey looked down at his hands.  “Yeah, I finally realized how blind I was being.  I kept insisting 'seeing someone' would do you good, and help you out-it was time to realize I needed help too.  I've been seeing this guy about a year now.  He helped me with the GED and getting into college and stuff.”  Not to mention diagnosing Mickey with PTSD and probable ADHD.  But Mickey figured he didn't have to bore Ian with all the details.  “He also made me open my eyes to the fact that I need to do more than try to be a good parent to Yevgeny.  He needs that, of course, but he also needs a safe environment to grow up in, so I got all the guns out of the house, and then all my brothers but Iggy moved out, saying they don't feel safe in that neighborhood unarmed.” 

 

Ian sputtered out a little laugh, but an honest to good laugh nonetheless.  “Are your cousins gone too?  And which ones were your cousins, and which ones were brothers?”

 

“Knowing my asshole of a father, they were probably both.  I wouldn't put it past him to sleep with his brothers' wives.  But yeah, everyone's gone but Svetlana and Nika and Iggy.” 

 

The pizza came just then and they both leaned back so it could be placed on the table, they hadn't noticed they had been leaning further and further towards each other, but Mickey had been talking quietly and Ian didn't want to miss any of what he was saying.  The waitress said she'd get them refills on the Cokes and did they need anything else, and they said they were all set.  Mickey slid a piece of pizza onto a plate and handed it over to Ian, who took it with a smile. 

 

“I've been doing all the talking,” Mickey said.  “What's up with you?”

 

Ian tried to take a bite of his pizza to stall, but he could tell when it got near his mouth it was too hot, so he put it back on the plate and sighed.  “Well,” he began, “I don't know if Mandy or Lip mentioned it, but I've been seeing someone?”

 

Something flashed in Mickey's eyes, but it was gone before Ian could try to guess what it might be.  Jealousy?  Hurt?  “Um, yeah, they mentioned that.  Lip said you're not living at home full time...”

 

“Yeah, more like half time.  Caleb's a firefighter so he usually works three days on, three days off.  I usually stay with him on some of his off days.”

 

“Caleb, huh?”  Mandy and Lip hadn't told him a name, just that he was a firefighter, and slightly older than Ian.  Now that Mickey had a name to put to the guy, he decided there would never be a name he disliked more.  “So, he has his own place?'

 

“No, not yet.  His dad and brother are firefighters too, plus a cousin, they all live together at his parents house since any apartments they rented would be empty a lot of the time,” Ian explained. 

 

“Oh, I see,” Mickey said, liking this less and less.  Sounded like Ian was already part of an entire family.  “And you're still working with Fiona?” he said, biting into his pizza and trying to change the subject.

 

“Yeah...and at the Fairy Tail,” Ian admitted.  This was news, Lip and Mandy hadn't told Mickey about that. 

 

“Before you even ask, Mandy and Lip don't know.  Fiona doesn't know, nobody knows except my shrink, and Caleb,” Ian said.  Mickey looked truly surprised. 

 

“Look, the money's too good not to work there,” Ian said.  “I barely make minimum wage at the diner, and there's not enough hours for me to work full time there.  So I dance at the Fairy Tail and give all that money to Fiona to keep the family afloat.  I don't drink or do any drugs there anymore, or go home with any of the customers.” 

 

Mickey was touched that Ian still cared enough what he thought, apparently, to reassure him.  “How does Fiona not know, though?” Mickey couldn't help but ask.

 

“She just thinks I give her all my Patsy's money and that I'm not contributing to Caleb's family, but I am-I don't want any handouts.”  Ian dug into his pocket and took out a small plastic case that held pills.  He flipped open one of the compartments and dug out three different looking pills with the tip of his finger and popped them all into his mouth together and swallowed them down with some Coke. 

 

Mickey was trying to feign nonchalance, but this was too important to him not to ask about, so he cautiously said, “Those helping?” and worried that Ian was going to get offended and storm off and walk away from the table and never look back.  But he really wanted to hear they were doing Ian some good.

 

Ian sensed at least some of Mickey's apprehension.  “It's okay, Mickey, you can ask me about stuff.  Yeah, they seem to help.  They keep me even anyway.  No more high highs or low lows...”

 

“But?” Mickey dared to ask, since Ian said it was okay.

 

“But,” Ian sighed, “I just usually feel so detached.  Like I'm here but behind a big blanket or something, and nothing really gets all the way past that and makes itself felt.” 

 

Mickey nodded slowly.  As happy as he had been to see Ian, and as nervous as he felt, he now realized he wasn't picking up on vibes like those from Ian.  All Ian's reactions to everything Mickey had told him, even Ian's reaction to seeing Mickey, had been very...even.  The only thing that had gotten a bit of a response was Mickey telling him he was seeing a therapist. 

 

“Anyway,” Ian continued, since Mickey wasn't saying anything, “they fiddled around with different meds and dosages, and this combo seems to be doing well for me.  Hopefully I'll get to a point where I'll feel like I can sit through classes and concentrate enough to stick with something, when I figure out what I want to do.”

 

“Yeah, that can be tough.  I went to Malcolm X and took a test that suggested careers based on my skills.  There wasn't much there that applied to being an ex-pimp.”  Mickey was trying to get Ian to laugh.  He had to settle for a small smile.  “Anyway, I was shocked as shit when it came back saying I should look into HVAC-at first I thought it was just a scam because the school has that as a program of study, but it turns out I am able to do it, sort of.”  Mickey was being modest.  His teachers and professor were all impressed with his natural aptitude, and the head of the department, the one that wanted him to talk to the Trane engineer one on one, felt that if Mickey's life had only been slightly different, he could've gone to Northwestern and majored in engineering.  Mickey just understood the material and the professor actually had him working on things that they normally didn't touch in the community college's curriculum.  But he could tell that if Mickey applied himself, he could get a job as so much more than a repairman or installation technician. 

 

“I haven't quite yet dared to look into a future,” Ian said, not looking at Mickey, but knowing Mickey was paying close attention to him all the same.  “I don't think I'm ready to be disappointed yet, like if I think up something I'd like to do, but then find out I won't qualify because of the BD or something.”  Mickey got that old familiar feeling, of wanting to hit something but knowing there was nothing to hit that would fix this, or protect Ian.  “I think I still need to concentrate on me feeling...just feeling again, I guess,” he finished up in a soft voice. 

 

“Hey,” Mickey said, equally soft, “that sounds right.  And important.”  Ian nodded but still wouldn't look at Mickey.  “Ian,” Mickey said, a little more forcefully.  “You go to work and you're helping your family.  You're good.” 

 

Ian finally looked at Mickey, plus rewarded him with a real smile that even reached his eyes.  “And you're eating broccoli,” Ian said, a smirk playing on his lips.

 

Mickey laughed.  “Yevgeny loves it, I've gotten used to it being on everything.  Makes him do some horrendous smelling toots though.”  Ian finally laughed. 

 

They finished up the pizza and a few more rounds of Coke.  They found less treacherous topics to discuss and had been sitting at their table for over two hours when they noticed the waitress and manager were giving them the hairy eyeball to leave since they weren't ordering anything else. 

 

“Guess we should get going,” Mickey said, reaching for the check that had been set down over an hour ago.

 

“Let me get that,” Ian said, nabbing the plastic folder first since it was closer to him. 

 

“Ian, no, why?  I asked you ou...here, it's on me,” Mickey said. 

 

“You leave the tip, I got this,” Ian insisted.  Mickey shrugged and figured if it was important to Ian, he could let him have it his way.  Ian dug out some money and put it in the folder, Mickey took it from him and put in a twenty and a five for the tip.  Ian didn't say anything but caught the waitress's attention and told her it was all set and thanked her.  She gave them a smile and told them to come back soon.  They put their coats on and Mickey slung his school backpack over one shoulder as they walked towards the door. 

 

Once outside, both seemed at a bit of a loss what to say. 

 

“I'd like to do this again...” Mickey was saying just as Ian said, “Can I see you again...?”  They both stopped and then started talking at the same time again with the “Go ahead/You go” type statements.  Mickey held up his hand like he was in class, and Ian nodded. 

 

“I guess we're in agreement, we want to see each other again,” Mickey said.  Ian nodded again.  “I'll text you, so if you're at work I won't be interrupting?”  Mickey said, turning it into a question.  Ian nodded. 

 

“Well, I guess we should head home,” Ian said, something reluctant in his voice.  They started walking in the same direction, but when they got to the end of the pizza house's building, Ian ducked into the alley between it and a coffee house next to it.  He pulled Mickey with him by the arm.  Ian was standing with his back to the wall of the pizza place, looking down at Mickey, searching his eyes.  Mickey was just about to ask him what he wanted when Ian kissed him, surprisingly hard and hot and heavy.  Mickey fell right into it, Ian's beautiful mouth was something he had caught himself staring at all night.  Ian still had a tight grip on Mickey's upper arm, and slid his other hand around Mickey's waist.  Mickey let the backpack slip off his shoulder, not even caring if it wasn't enough cushion for the laptop inside, and put one hand around Ian's waist and brought the other up to cradle his jaw.  Still kissing, their tongues dancing and their lips moving and caressing, Ian let go of Mickey's arm and slid his hand up, letting the pad of his thumb trace over Mickey's ear in a move Mickey remembered always used to drive him insane with desire.  He was more than half hard from the kiss, and the thumb stroke, and from just being this close to Ian after all this time.  Ian let both his arms drop and grabbed Mickey's ass with both hands.  That's all it took, Mickey was coming in his boxers and he just let it happen.  He had no idea if he'd ever have this opportunity with Ian again and he wasn't going to try to stop anything. 

 

Ian was grinding up against Mickey, and Mickey was shoving Ian into the wall with his hips.  They were both panting and they finally came up for air. 

 

“Is there anyplace we can go?” Ian asked, his forehead resting against Mickey's.  “Everyone's going to be at Fiona's tonight, I think even Lip and Mandy planned to be there.  There won't be any privacy...”

 

“Shit,” Mickey said, trying to think.  “Same at my house-Svetlana is having some sort of reunion with a bunch of the 'Daughters of Russia', they get together every couple of months to drink wine and talk about the old country.  Iggy's taking care of Yev, but the house will be full up.”  He looked at Ian looking at him.  They had to keep going, he wasn't going to let this chance slip away.  “There is a hotel right near here, nothing fancy, but...”

 

“Four walls and a bed is all I want right now, Mick,” Ian said.

 

Mickey smiled and took Ian's hand and started walking.  Ian stooped down and snagged the backpack and when Mickey noticed, Ian gave him another honest to goodness smile that reached his eyes. 


	2. I Don't Break Easy I Have My Pride But If You Need To Be Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking up right where I left our heroes at the end of Chapter One

Mickey knew about the place because it was where the school had put up the Trane guy, and that's where the guy had brought him after their dinner at the pizza place.  They checked in, Mickey handing over a credit card to pay for the room. 

 

Ian looked at him, genuinely surprised.  “A credit card?” he asked.

 

“Well, it’s a debit card, really,” Mickey explained.  “Financial Aid prefers direct deposit for my student loans and stuff, so I had to get one.” 

 

“Mickey, you are not using your student loan money to pay for this...” Ian began.

 

“No!  No, I'm not.  I've got a job, remember?  My paycheck goes in there too,” Mickey reassured him. 

 

The desk clerk handed them the key card and they found the room in record time.  Mickey got the door open and Ian was all over him again, kissing and pulling his coat off. 

 

“Uh, Ian?  Mind if I shower first?  I, uh, let something happen out in the alley and now I'm sticky...”

 

“I don't mind sticky, Mickey,” Ian said, leaning in to kiss Mickey again. 

 

“Well, I do-I want this to be nice for both of us,” Mickey said, a little embarrassed by just how much it did mean to him for this to be nice. 

 

“Okay, Mickey.  I can wait,” Ian said, backing up a step to let Mickey free. 

 

Mickey got into the bathroom and closed the door.  He hung his coat up on a hook on the back of the door, and then got his shirt, shoes, socks, and jeans off.  He pulled down his boxers and wadded them up, then looked around the room.  He didn't want to waste one of the two towels the hotel provided wrapping his shorts up in it, in case Ian wanted to shower after.  And there was only one washcloth and hand towel and he suspected they might want to use both of those later as well.  Mickey decided to just chuck his boxers in the trash, he'd go home commando. 

 

In the shower, he was careful not to get his hair wet while he cleaned his body off.  He was trying to rush, but then realized if Ian were to change his mind in the few minutes it took to have a shower, they probably shouldn't be doing this anyway.  It hit him for the first time what an apt phrase that was for Ian: “changed his mind”.  His mind had certainly changed, and that had changed Mickey's whole life.  He shook his head as if to dispel that sad thought.  If Ian was having second thoughts once he had a few moments to think about what they were doing, Mickey would just have to accept that.

 

Mickey got out of the shower, shut off the water, and wrapped one of the big towels around his waist.  He slowly opened the door, wondering what Ian would be thinking now, but he needn't have worried.  Ian was standing right on the other side of the door, naked as the day he was born, and he pulled Mickey into an embrace with his strong arms and walked them both to the bed, Ian going backwards and pulling Mickey down on top of him as he fell onto the bed. 

 

They were kissing, kissing, kissing, hungrily and urgently.  Somehow Ian had the towel off of Mickey and his hands were exploring everywhere.  Mickey was doing the same, everything he remembered about Ian's body was being rediscovered faster than his brain and hands could keep up, but everything felt so good.  Ian rolled them both over so they were both on their sides now, facing each other and running their hands up and down each other's sides, but then Ian let his hand slide down to Mickey's hip and he just started to reach around to the back when he suddenly stopped, pulled away from Mickey, and said, “Oh shit.” 

 

Mickey was panting, and trying to catch up, but he figured Ian had a moment of clarity and realized that what they were doing, they had stopped doing, long ago, and for reasons that never made sense to Mickey, but he knew Ian felt strongly about it at the time.  He braced himself for a major letdown, but Ian merely said, “We don't have anything.  I mean, I have condoms in my wallet, but no lube.”

 

Mickey sighed with relief and kissed Ian again.  “Don't need it,” he said, trying to get Ian back where he'd been. 

 

Ian pulled away again and looked Mickey right in the eye.  “Mickey.  Come on.”  Mickey had to laugh, it was almost as if Ian was insulted. 

 

“No, no, you're right.  You're a lot to take in _with_ lube, there's no way we can do without it,” Mickey admitted.  

 

“We're between a college and a hotel, there has to be a drugstore on every corner, I'll be right back,” Ian said, jumping up and finding his clothes and shoving his feet in his sneakers without taking the time to put his socks on. 

 

“I'll come with you,” Mickey said, starting to sit up.

 

“Naw, you're still wet.  Stay here.”  Ian sat back on the bed and pushed Mickey back to a prone position.  “Stay in bed,” Ian said in a low voice, right into Mickey's ear.  Mickey felt a shiver of a thrill run up his back.

 

Ian was back in record time, Mickey hadn't even had time to decide if he should try to find the TV remote. 

 

“That was fast,” Mickey said, as Ian frantically ripped all his clothes off again.

 

“Dude at the hotel counter sold me some,” Ian explained.  “I asked him where the nearest drugstore was and he asked did I need condoms and when I shook my head, lube was his second guess.”  Ian smiled, holding up the tube in triumph.  “He marked it up at least 300 percent, but, supply and demand, right?” 

 

Mickey said, “You gotta let me pay half...”

 

“Mickey, you paid for the room plus I saw how you tipped the waitress more than the meal cost.  This is on me, all right?” 

 

“It's not on you yet, stop talking,” Mickey said, pulling Ian down on the bed again. 

 

Ian laughed and popped the cap on the lube, slicking up his fingers and sliding two of them into Mickey.  Mickey was in heaven.  He couldn't remember the last time he did this, but whenever it was, it didn't even count because it wasn't with Ian.  Ian's long fingers felt right, this he remembered.  Ian was kissing him, and working him open inside, and Mickey reached down to stroke Ian, but Ian was already hard.  They both moaned when Mickey discovered this, and Ian rolled on a condom while Mickey reached around patting the bed till he found the lube and he applied it all over Ian's cock. 

 

“I'm ready, I'm ready, Ian.  It's okay, get in me,” Mickey told him, nuzzling Ian's neck and hair while he spoke.  Ian wanted to take longer, wanted to make this last longer, but he just couldn't.  He lined himself up with Mickey and pushed in as slowly as he could manage, but this was Mickey and it had been so long and looking down into those blue eyes he still dreamt about, he could barely hold himself back.  He got all the way in and then stilled, waiting for Mickey to tell him it was okay to move.  And as much as Mickey had missed the feeling of Ian filling him up and as much as he wanted this to last forever, his body was already moving, his hips bucking and his ass wriggling, wanting to feel Ian move. 

 

“It's good, Ian.  Move.”  Mickey put his hands on Ian's ass and pulled him in as far as he could go.  Ian crashed his lips down onto Mickey's and thrusted his hips a few times and then he was coming, biting his lower lip and trying to hold it back, but to no avail. 

 

He rolled off of Mickey and looked over at him.  “Three, two, one, blast off, huh?” Ian said, with an apologetic smile.

 

“Hey, I'm the guy who came in my shorts.  I've got no complaints,” Mickey said.  Ian gave him a bigger smile, and slipped off the condom and tossed it in the trash bucket near the bed, then he rolled over and put his hand on Mickey's still hard cock.  He stroked it up and down a couple of times, and then put his warm mouth over the tip.

 

“Hey, you don't have to...” Mickey began, but had to stop when Ian slid his hand down to Mickey's balls and took him in even deeper, his tongue and lips creating all sorts of good sensations.  

 

“Hmmmm?” Ian hummed, his deep, low voice reverberating all around Mickey's dick. 

 

“Oh, Christ, Ian,” Mickey moaned, running his fingers through Ian's hair and rubbing his head affectionately.  Ian wriggled his head from side to side like a puppy, it felt good to have Mickey touch him like that.  He bobbed his head up and down, feeling Mickey's cock throbbing, and rubbing the parts of his shaft and balls that didn't fit into his mouth with his hand.  Mickey warned Ian he was about to come, and tried to gently pull Ian off of him, but Ian didn't want that and swallowed all Mickey had to give.  He kept licking and stroking Mickey through his orgasm, and when it was done, Ian finally pulled away and looked at Mickey with his big green eyes, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

 

“You taste so good, Mickey.  I had almost forgotten.” 

 

Mickey half sat up and pulled Ian into another kiss.  This one was finally slow and gentle.  They pulled apart and smiled shyly at each other.  Ian got himself settled next to Mickey and they pulled the sheet and blanket up over them.  Ian put his arm around Mickey, and Mickey sighed a big sigh.

 

“What's wrong?” Ian asked.

 

Mickey hesitated for a moment.  “Nothing's wrong,” he said.  “I was just thinking about something.”

“What?” Ian persisted. 

 

Mickey sighed again, and thought about everything his shrink had tried to tell him about owning his feelings and trying to open up with the people that were important to him.

 

“It's just-I've always wished I knew the last time we banged was going to turn out to be the last time, because I would've, I don't know, remembered it more and took the time to feel everything more, or something.  I don't know,” Mickey finished, wishing he had never started saying any of it. 

 

“Mickey,” Ian said, trying to get Mickey to look at him.  “I have another condom, that time isn't going to be the last time.” 

 

Mickey looked at Ian quickly, then looked away again.

 

“Plus, if you'll let me, I want to see you again, and again and again.  Tonight won't be the last time, unless you want it to be,” Ian added. 

 

“I, uh,” Mickey cleared his throat.  “I don't want tonight to be it.” 

 

Ian smiled.  “Good.  But did you think you missed something, or forgot something already?” 

 

Mickey groaned and put his head back against the pillow.  “No, I just...we got into it so fast, and there's so much I remember from before that I couldn't ever quite see again when I tried.  Like how you just...glow, or something, when we're together like that.  Your skin glows, your eyes glow...You're like an angel, or something,” Mickey whispered that last part. 

 

Ian blinked.  “Wow.  You're definitely getting laid again after that,” he said, totally serious. 

 

They kissed again, Mickey brought his hands up and let them sink into the thick hair on the back of Ian's head.  Ian was keeping his hands above the waist too, kneading Mickey's shoulders and grasping his biceps as he kissed his way across Mickey's clavicle.  Mickey shut off his thoughts and just let himself feel.  It wouldn't do to worry what exactly Ian had in mind for them, or why they were here and how they got here.  It didn't matter.  He had always promised himself if he got to be with Ian again he'd do it, and here was his chance. 

 

They had sex again, slower, quieter this time, each of them concentrating on giving the other pleasure this time, pulling out all the stops, remembering what had worked best in the past.  Ian got Mickey to come first, but he wasn't far behind.  They were so tangled up in each other, Mickey had his legs wrapped around Ian and one of Ian's arms was wrapped tight around Mickey's waist, lifting him and pulling him closer while he thrust into him.  Even after their orgasms were over, they held on to each other tightly, never wanting to have to let go again.  But finally Ian gently pulled away from Mickey, and removed this condom and threw it into the trash with the other.  He looked at the clock on the bedside stand and sighed.  It was just past ten thirty.

 

“I should get going,” Ian said, getting out of the bed and looking around for his clothes.

 

“Going to Fiona's?” Mickey asked and wished he hadn't, in case that's not where Ian was headed.

 

“Yeah, she still waits up for me, or Debs does, if Fiona's not home.” 

 

He pulled on all his clothes, including his socks this time.  Mickey just stayed on the bed, sitting up against the headboard, but afraid to move, afraid to break the spell. 

 

“I'll text you,” Ian said.  Mickey was about to say he thought he was going to text Ian, but again kept quiet and decided it probably would be best if Ian made the decision to see each other again-or not.  Ian pulled a ten dollar bill out of his wallet and put it on the bed stand.  “For the maid,” he said to Mickey.  “Can I pay you half, for the room?”

 

Mickey shook his head no.  Ian looked at the clock again and then walked to the door.  He stopped and looked back before he opened it.  “It's good seeing you again, Mickey.”  And then he opened the door and was gone. 

 

Mickey was disappointed Ian didn't kiss him before he left, but he felt that in a way, he deserved that.  Since this was another first time for them, of sorts.

 

He wondered how long he'd have to wait to hear from Ian, or if he even would.  He tried not to let it distract him, but the next day he was useless.  He had to be told everything three times at his job before it got through and at home he couldn't concentrate on his homework.  Even playing with Yevgeny after supper he was distracted, although he made an extra effort not to be and finally had the baby laughing and happy.  He went to bed after midnight, dissatisfied with his homework attempt but knowing there was no point in trying to force it any longer.  He also resisted the urge to try and get in touch with Mandy to see if she had heard from Ian about last night.  He was lying on his back, wide awake, when his phone vibrated. 

 

“U-UP?”

 

He laughed, touched at Ian “quoting” his tattoo.

 

“Yeah,” he texted back right away, not caring if it made him look like an eager little bitch.

 

“I get off at 1, ok to come over?”

 

“K”

 

He waited, but that was it, Ian didn't text anything else.  Mickey got up and took care of a few things, not wanting to have to search for supplies when Ian got there, although on his way home from work he had bought a box of Magnums, so he knew right where those were, and he always had lube on hand for jacking off.  He didn't want to have them out in plain view though, in case Ian just wanted to talk or something.  He didn't want to put any kind of expectations on any of this. 

 

Ian got there quicker than Mickey expected-a crappy beat up Ford Taurus dropped him off right at the Milkovich front door.  Mickey figured Ian would have to take the El.  Ian waved to the guy driving while Mickey stepped out onto the stoop. 

 

“Hey, Ian,” Mickey said.

 

“Hey, Mickey.  That's one of the bartenders, Miguel, he lives around here too.  He's actually straight, can you imagine?  He does a better job of being up to his elbows in gays all night than the rest of us.  He's got a wife and three little kids.  He says he likes working in gay bars because the tips are better and his wife doesn't get jealous,” Ian laughed. 

 

“Nice of him to give you a ride,” Mickey said.  “Come on in, but be quiet, everyone's asleep already.” 

 

Ian nodded and followed him inside.  Mickey took him right into his room, since that's where they'd be the furthest away from everyone who was sleeping.  Ian looked around the room, not bothering to hide his surprise at how much it had changed.  All of Mickey's posters were gone from the walls, and even though there was just a low light burning on the cheap little desk Mickey now had in there, Ian could tell they had been painted a soft pale yellow.  Everything was neater and cleaner than the last time Ian had been there.  There were no empty beer cans, no overflowing ashtrays.  Mickey still couldn't fit all his clean laundry in the closet and the drawers, and now stacked up with his folded clothes there were also smaller piles of Yevgeny's duds.  Mickey's laptop was sitting closed on his desk along with a little stack of kid books and some toy trucks and ducks, and there was a cork board above the desk with a semester schedule on it-instead of pushpins or thumbtacks Mickey had used ninja throwing stars to stick it to the board, and Ian smiled at that little glimpse of the “old” Mickey.  In one of the corners of the room on the other side of the bed from the desk was a crib, and a small changing table was wedged in next to it. 

 

“The baby stays with you?” Ian asked, noting the crib was empty.

 

“Yeah, usually.  Svetlana and Nika are really going strong as a couple, so it just makes more sense for him to bunk with me so they can have privacy.  We have one of those pack and play portable cribs though, so sometimes he does sleep in with them.  Tonight I moved him into Iggy's room with it, though, since I didn't want to interrupt them if they were muff diving.” 

 

“I hope you didn't go to any trouble...” Ian began.

 

“Naw, the kid slept right through the move, and Iggy just woke up long enough for me to let him know he's in there.  I've got the monitor, they'll be fine.”  Ian noticed the baby monitor near the bed and nodded. 

 

Mickey looked up at Ian, a question burning in his blue eyes.  Ian remembered that look, it could best be summed up as, “Wanna fuck?”  Ian grinned into Mickey's eyes, giving off a hell yeah response, but when Mickey took a step towards him to kiss him, Ian quickly asked, “Mind if I grab a quick shower?  I smell like the club and the drunks that have been grinding on me.”  Mickey nodded and said of course and Ian went into the bathroom. 

 

He wasn't in there long, and came out wrapped in a towel.  Mickey had stripped down to his boxers and the tank top he had gone to bed in, and Ian walked right up to him and pulled on the hem of the shirt.

 

“What's this?  You're wearing too many clothes,” he murmured, his deep voice shooting straight down Mickey's spine and into his dick.  Ian pulled the shirt up over Mickey's head and tossed it away, and pulled Mickey to him for a kiss.  Mickey pulled his shorts down while Ian was kissing him, then pulled off Ian’s towel.  They were both already hard, and Ian reached down and rubbed the tip of his dick over Mickey’s.  Mickey moaned into the kiss.  It felt like the world was falling away beneath his feet and he didn’t mind it at all, as long as Ian crashed down with him when he landed. 

 

They made their way onto the bed and Ian grabbed the tube of lube he had noticed off the night stand.  Mickey had put that and a couple of condoms there while Ian had been showering.  As much as Ian wanted to take his time and show off some prowess, he’d been thinking of Mickey all night-been thinking of him since they parted the night before, truth be told-and all he wanted was to be back inside him.    

 

Mickey scrambled out of his shorts, kicking them down to the end of the bed, and then laid back and looked up at Ian.  Ian smiled down into his eyes and then swooped down for a kiss, his fingers finding their way to Mickey as his tongue slid gently into Mickey’s mouth.  It didn’t take long before Mickey was pulling Ian’s hand out from underneath him and telling him he was ready.  Ian rolled on a condom and lined up to push into Mickey.  Mickey arched his back a bit and took in Ian with moans of pleasure.  Ian was breathing hard, his hot breath washing over Mickey as he told him how good he was, how desirable. 

 

“I want you, I want you, I want you,” Ian whispered over and over again.  Mickey could only nod and kiss at Ian’s jaw-he wanted him too. 

 

Ian was all the way in, and he stilled, waiting for Mickey to give him the green light.  Mickey was holding on to Ian’s shoulders and looking up into his big, luminous eyes.  He was so happy in this moment.  Having Ian back in his bed was something he never allowed himself to even dream of.  He smiled and said, “You can move, Fire Crotch.  I ain’t gonna break.” 

 

Ian giggled, he actually giggled, and then began pounding into Mickey, which is what he rightly guessed Mickey wanted.  For all the tenderness they managed to share, there were times when they both just wanted it hard.  Their bodies remembered everything, even if they weren’t allowing their minds to, yet. 

 

Ian found just the right spot and kept hitting it over and over as Mickey tried his best not to scream and shout.  He was definitely urging Ian on though, and when Ian reached between them to add strokes to the thrusts, Mickey was pretty much done for.  He came, biting into Ian’s shoulder so he wouldn’t yell, and Ian came right after, covering Mickey’s mouth with his own in a searing kiss to keep quiet himself.  They rode out their orgasms staring into each other’s eyes.  When that was over, Ian stayed inside of Mickey for a moment, their stomachs pushing against each other as they panted.  Ian was watching Mickey’s face, searching it as if looking for something, or maybe just trying to remember it down to every small detail.  Mickey tilted his chin up a bit and grinned. 

 

“That was good,” Mickey said.  Ian smiled, and gently pulled out.  He flopped onto his back next to Mickey, and immediately turned his head so he was looking at him again.  He kissed Mickey’s shoulder and then let his mouth stay there, looking up at Mickey.  Finally he groaned a little and said he better get on home. 

 

“You want to shower again first?” Mickey said, more to keep Ian there a little longer than anything else.

 

Ian grinned at him.  “No.  I like smelling like you, Mickey,” he said honestly. 

 

Mickey looked a little taken aback.  “What do I smell like?” he asked.

 

Ian kissed Mickey’s shoulder again and then pressed his nose to Mickey’s skin and breathed in.  Mickey always smelled good to him; even when Mickey worked out, his sweat wasn’t stinky or gross.  And during and after sex his sweat had some sort of musky scent to it that always made Ian’s head swim. 

 

“You smell like soap, and clean laundry, and smoke,” Ian grinned at Mickey, that half smile that had been driving Mickey crazy since Ian was fifteen, “and some other fresh and green smell, like a forest after a rainstorm.” 

 

“When the fuck have you been in a forest after a rainstorm?” Mickey laughed.

 

“ROTC campouts,” Ian answered.  Mickey raised his eyebrows and nodded.  He’d have to take Ian’s word on the forest thing, he himself had never been to the woods. 

 

“I’d offer to drive you home, but the Buick’s at the shop, getting a new battery.”  The owner was a friend of Mickey’s from way back and was giving him the battery at a deep discount, but that also meant he’d get to it when he could, after customers who were being charged full price for their auto work, so Mickey had to wait when the guy ran out of time that day.  “It’s awfully late, you’re liable to get jumped walking through these neighborhoods alone, I should walk you to Fiona’s.”

 

Ian smiled at Mickey, truly touched that he cared about his safety, but, “Then you’d be walking back here alone after you saw me home,” he said.  Mickey looked crestfallen, he hadn’t thought about that.  “Tell you what,” Ian said, reaching to the floor and finding his pants.  “I’ll look up when sunrise is, and set my alarm to wake me up fifteen minutes before that.  Then I can be up and out of here before anyone else is up, plus I’ll be okay walking home in the daylight.”  Mickey liked this plan, especially since it meant he’d get to stay with Ian all night, what was left of it, anyway.  And Ian was right, by the time the sun was up, people were out and about in the neighborhood, delivery people and school kids and such.  He’d be fine. 

 

Mickey pulled the blankets up over them but Ian stayed sitting up against the headboard looking around the room.  “I can’t get over the changes in here, Mickey.  It’s like a whole different place now.” 

 

Mickey wasn’t sure if that was good or bad in Ian’s opinion, but he hoped it was good.

 

“It seems brighter, for one thing,” Ian went on.

 

“Yeah, the walls were really dingy.  Not smoking in here has made a big difference, and the paint job too,” Mickey said. 

 

“You quit smoking?” Ian asked.  He could’ve sworn he smelled cigarette smoke on Mickey, but maybe it was just residual from someone else, like Iggy or Svetlana.

 

Mickey laughed.  “Naw, just in here, because of the kid.  We all have to smoke outside now, I won’t even allow it in the house.  His little lungs shouldn’t have to pay the price for our addictions.  I’ve gotta watch my mouth around the little fucker too, he’s repeating everything, plus he has a knack for using curse words correctly.” 

 

Ian laughed and looked over at the corner where the crib was.  Ian felt a little tug in his chest, he’d really love to see Yevgeny but he didn’t feel like he earned that yet.  He also didn’t want to wake Yev or Iggy.  He tore his eyes away from the crib.  On one of the walls above it there was a small poster that had obviously been folded into eighths at some point, of the cartoon version of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  On the wall at the foot of the crib there was a full size poster of a big yellow Labrador’s face with a pink gerber daisy on its forehead, looking for all the world like it was smiling. 

 

Ian said, “I like the Turtles poster, I swear I had the same one when I was a kid hanging in my room.  I got it out of a box of cereal.”

 

“Yeah,” Mickey said.  “That’s where that one came from too.  Mandy found a box of kid stuff up in the crawl space and that was in it.  I guess my mom or Mandy must’ve saved it.  That’s where the Little Golden books and some old plastic trucks came from too,” Mickey said, nodding his head towards the desk.  “The dog poster’s new-the kid saw it at Walmart and it made him giggle so much I had to get it.”  Ian smiled warmly at Mickey.  He was glad he had turned out to be such a good dad.  “Check this out,” Mickey added, jumping out of bed and going over to one of the bureaus.  He turned on a plastic light on top of it that Ian hadn’t noticed yet.  It plunged the room into a blue light with fish swirling all around the ceiling and walls, like being in an aquarium.

 

“Another one of your childhood toys?” Ian asked, watching the lights on the wall. 

 

“Naw, another thing I bought because I thought Yev would get a kick out of it, and he does.”  Mickey was going to shut the light off, but Ian stopped him.

 

“Can you leave that on for a bit?” Ian said.  “It’s very soothing.” 

 

Mickey smiled and nodded and got back in the bed.  Ian shut off the bed side lamp and the blue light got even deeper.  Ian laid down flat on his back and settled in next to Mickey.  “The room is really nice, Mickey.  You’ve done a great job with it.”

 

Mickey just got really still and nervously bit his lower lip.  Ian noticed, he knew Mickey was uncomfortable with praise because his whole life, he was hardly ever given any.  Ian rolled over so he was over Mickey, and took Mickey’s lower lip between his own and massaged it a bit and then turned it into a kiss.  “It’s a very nice room, Mickey,” Ian reiterated, looking into his eyes.  Mickey finally gave him a little smile, and then kissed him back.

 

The next morning, before dawn, Mickey awoke.  The blue lights were still swirling around the room, plus he felt Ian’s hand spread open on the small of his back, radiating warmth like a heating pad.  Then Mickey took note of the slightly sore feeling a bit lower than that, and smiled into his pillow.  That was there for a good reason.  He turned his head so he could look at Ian, who was also lying on his stomach with his head towards Mickey on his pillow.  He looked so peaceful and content in his sleep.  Mickey felt like he could look at him like this forever.  Ian must’ve felt Mickey staring at him, though, because he smiled and opened his eyes, looking at Mickey. 

 

“Hey, Mick?” he asked, his voice gravelly with sleep. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why do you have a laptop?” 

 

Mickey laughed in surprise at the random question.  “Where is that coming from,” he asked, looking into Ian’s eyes.

 

“I wanted to ask you last night, but I got too sleepy too fast,” Ian grinned. 

 

“Oh, makes sense.  The school provides them, they guarantee every student will have a computer to do their work on.  Companies and people donate old ones, I guess, and they get refurbished and signed out to students.  I got a Mac because my advisor said they’re best for architecture and engineering and stuff.” 

 

“Cool,” Ian said.  “Hey, Mickey?”

 

Mickey was enjoying this early morning pillow talk, he had missed Ian so much.  “Yeah, Ian?”

 

“What do I smell like?” Ian asked shyly. 

 

Mickey reached over and put his hand on Ian’s shoulder, and stuck his face into the crook of Ian’s neck and breathed in deeply. 

 

“You smell sweet,” he said, pulling away less than two inches from Ian’s face and raising his eyebrows to give him a flirty look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, last week I started posting this story because I was afraid of what the TV show might do to Ian next. This week's episode showed Ian a lot like I'm picturing him in this story thus far-quiet and subdued but still "our" Ian, the Ian we've seen grow up over the first 5 seasons of Shameless, not the "I don't know how to go on/dress for/order food on a date" out of it Ian they had mainly been giving us in Season 6. Ian with a Milkovich is so much better than Ian without.


	3. Swore I'd Never Compromise Oh But You Convinced Me Otherwise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get reacquainted with a couple of important people.

Mickey and Ian fell into a routine pretty quickly.  Without really discussing anything about what was going on between them, they worked out times they’d be together.  Ian would always casually work Caleb’s three days off into conversations about other things, and Mickey would always pay close attention even though his outward demeanor was, “I don’t give a shit what that guy does.”  But pretty soon he knew the firefighter’s schedule every bit as well as Ian did.

 

Mickey didn’t waste any time in reintroducing Ian to Yevgeny.  He thought about waiting for a day when he could get them together without Svetlana around, but that might not be for a while.  Svetlana and Nika were working as sex therapists now, actual licensed-via the internet-sex therapists with a regular client base.  They didn’t even have sex with people for money anymore, they got paid to show affection to each other and shower together in front of mostly rich white men a good few years past middle age who had intimacy issues.  Nika first read about it online, and they put an ad on Craig’s List, but one of their first clients was an accountant who helped them set up as a legitimate business. 

 

When Mickey explained it all (as far as he understood it) to Ian, Ian just shook his head and said, “It’s like you’ve all fallen down the rabbit hole since Terry died.  You’ve all found new ways to live, and it sounds like it’s all for the better.” 

 

Mickey laughed and agreed and further blew Ian’s mind when he told him that most of what the girls did was covered by health insurance.  “Svetlana even learned how to do third party billing with that accountant and You Tube tutorials,” Mickey told Ian, as Ian shook his head and smirked.  They were making good enough money that they could afford an actual responsible babysitter for the hours they were working if Mickey was at work or school too.  They held their sessions in hotels, never at the house.  Their clients wouldn’t set foot in their neighborhood anyway.    

 

Nika and Svetlana were out of the house a lot for their “sessions”, but most of them took place during the week when Mickey and Ian would be working themselves, so waiting for them to have a rare Saturday session and leave Yev with Mickey might take a while.  Mickey didn’t want to make Ian wait; he knew he was missing Yevgeny, and Svetlana had to get used to Ian being back in their lives anyway. 

 

The first Saturday Ian had no plans (Mickey just thought of it in those terms in his head, didn’t waste time and energy worrying about “the other guy”), Mickey asked him if he wanted to come over and see Yev.  Ian took a deep breath, and nodded, and smiled, and nodded again.  Mickey told him to come by any time after two in the afternoon; Yevgeny was usually done with his after lunch nap by then.

 

Ian was outside the house about ten minutes before two, but he didn’t want to horn in or wake the baby or anything, so he just kept walking around the block, trying to burn off some nervous energy.  Svetlana finally came out on the covered steps about his fifth time by, and yelled at him to get in the house.  Ian couldn’t help it, he zipped up the sidewalk and took the stairs two at a time. 

 

“Mickey is changing Yevgeny,” Svetlana said, once Ian was in the house.  She didn’t look too friendly.  “We go over rules.”  Ian just nodded.  He didn’t want to say anything to mess this up.  “You are on pills, yes?”  Ian nodded again.  “Mickey says you’ve got shit together, be sure you do.  And if you ever feel yourself slipping,” her voice lowered and she looked at Ian with menace in her eyes, “you get the fuck away from my baby and stay away until you get your shit together again, or I kill you myself.”  Ian nodded yet again, he believed her. 

 

“I promise, Svetlana.  If I ever feel ‘off’ or anything, I’ll stay away and make sure I’m okay with my doctor before I come back.” 

 

She narrowed her eyes at him and poked him very hard in the ribs.  “Good for you.” 

 

Luckily Mickey came walking in just then, sparing Ian from having to try to make small talk with Svetlana. 

 

“Well, well, well, look who we have here,” Mickey said, smiling at Yev and then pointing at Ian.  “This is Ian.” 

 

Yevgeny was practically diving out of Mickey’s arms, wanting Ian to hold him.  “Een!” he yelled, reaching out.  Mickey laughed and handed him to Ian.  Ian was speechless.  He knew Yevgeny would have changed in the past year since he had seen him, but he wasn’t prepared for this sturdy toddler that replaced the little baby completely.  But then he looked into those blue eyes he’d know anywhere and he felt a little better about it.  Yev grabbed a handful of Ian’s hair as soon as he was in his arms.

 

“Ooh, right.  He loves anything shiny and red,” Mickey said, gently rubbing the back of Yev’s fist and trying to get him to let go.  “Should’ve mentioned that, sorry.”

 

Ian had his head tilted into the grip to relieve some of the pull, but he just laughed.  “It’s okay, you’ve done worse.”  Mickey snorted, he knew it was true.  Tugging Ian’s hair was a favorite part of certain activities, and sometimes Mickey got a little too enthusiastic in the moment.    

 

“Come on, Yev, no pulling,” Mickey insisted.  “Remember the bunnies?”

 

Ian raised his eyebrows at Mickey.  “Bunnies?” 

 

“We took him to a petting zoo a couple weeks ago.  He loved their fur, we had to teach him about ‘gentle’,” Mickey explained.

 

“Bunny?”  Yev said, looking around. 

 

“Ian,” Mickey said, pointing again.  “Be gentle,” he added, emphatically.  Yev’s grip loosened. 

 

“Een?” he asked, looking at Ian.

 

“That’s me, Little Man,” Ian said.  “Nice to see you.”

 

Yev gently patted Ian’s hair, like he had been taught to do with the bunnies.  “Bunny!” he yelled.  Ian looked a little panicked.

 

“Is he going to call me that, or something?” he asked Mickey. 

 

Mickey laughed, and as much as he was enjoying Ian’s discomfort, he decided to put him out of his misery.  “Naw, I’m pretty sure he wants you to come see his bunny, it’s his favorite toy.  Come on, it’s in his crib.”  Mickey led the way out of the room, Ian following with Yevgeny still in his arms.  Svetlana gave him one last glare. 

 

In Mickey and Yevgeny’s room, Mickey led them to the crib and picked up the stuffed animal that was in there and made it do a little dance for Yev as he handed it over.  “Here you go, Tough Guy,” Mickey said.  Ian was touched that Mickey was sharing “his” nickname with Yevgeny.  Ian gave Yevgeny a big crinkled eye smile, and Mickey noticed.

 

“Hey, I heard most of what Svetlana said to you out there,” Mickey said.  “Her Boris and Natasha routine comes out in full when she’s being all protective Russian mama bear.  Don’t let her bother you.” 

 

Ian was busy admiring the bunny, which Yev was showing him up close by shoving it right into his face.  “It’s okay, Mickey.  I don’t blame her, she has good reason to be wary of me.”  They both just let that hang in the air for a moment.  Mickey wanted to point out Ian had never hurt Yev, but then that might lead to them both thinking that he did hurt Mickey, so…

 

“So, this is Bunny?” Ian asked.  Yev laughed and mushed the toy even further into Ian’s face.

 

“Yeah,” Mickey laughed, pulling Yevgeny’s arms back a little, to get the fur out of Ian’s nose and mouth at least.  “It’s his favorite.  He can’t sleep without it.”

 

Ian looked at the stuffed animal, it was obviously well loved and had been through the wash more than a few times.  The fur was still fluffy though, some miracle polyester that held up better than the teddy bear he had had as a kid.  The bunny had the same body type as his long lost bear, soft and long and slightly humanized with “arms” and long legs, perfect for hugging in your sleep. 

 

“Een!” Yevgeny said, getting his attention back where it belonged, on him.  “Play!  Blocks, trucks!’

 

Ian laughed.  “Sounds fun.”  Mickey brought them back to the living room and they spent some pleasant hours playing and watching a Sesame Street counting video.  When it was time for dinner, Svetlana basically ordered Ian to feed Yevgeny.  He was surprised, but pleased to be asked.  Everyone sat down at the table, Ian taking the chair closest to Yev’s high chair.  Svetlana placed a plastic plate on the high chair tray and looked at Ian expectantly.  Ian picked up the rubber coated baby spoon that had already been on the tray and scooped up a bit of squash and tested it to be sure it wasn’t too hot by touching his top lip to the tip of the spoon. 

 

Mickey was setting the table for the grownups (their food was always ready a little while after Yevgeny’s no matter who was cooking it), and at the last minute noticed what Ian was going to feed to the baby.

 

“Squash, Svetlana?  Really?”  Mickey said, sounding irritated as fuck.  “You know he hates that.”

 

“We have to use it up before it goes bad,” Svetlana replied.  Now that she was bringing in good money, all Yev’s food was organic and fresh.  But for whatever reason, no matter how many times they had tried to get him to try it, the kid hated squash.

 

Yev spoke up as Mickey and Svetlana glared at each other.  “Skwaz?” he said, looking at the spoon worriedly. 

 

“Squash,” Ian said.  “Yummy, mmmm.  Here…”  Ian reached over to the table with one of his long arms and picked up his fork.  He took a big swipe of Yevgeny’s squash onto it and opened his mouth wide, showing Yev how much he wanted it.  He chewed exaggeratedly and said (with his mouth full), “Nom, nom, nom,” and swallowed and added, “squash, nom nom.”  Ian put the baby spoon close to Yev’s mouth and opened his mouth wide to get Yevgeny to do the same. 

 

“Skwaz?” Yevgeny said again, not looking at all convinced that this was something he wanted. 

 

“Squash, Yevgeny.  Nummy.  You’ll love it,” Ian said, putting the spoon closer to the baby’s mouth.  Yev finally opened his mouth and put it around the spoon.  Ian gently pulled it out and Yev just sat there, not chewing, not swallowing. 

 

“You probably want to hold a napkin up in front of your face,” Mickey warned.  “He’s probably going to spew that all over you in a minute.” 

 

Ian didn’t flinch.  He just scooped up more squash on his fork that he still had in his left hand and took another bite.  He chewed it and chewed it and finally Yev mimicked him and chewed the squash in his own mouth and swallowed it down.  “Nummy…” he said, less convincingly than Ian, but at least he said it. 

 

“Nummy,” Ian agreed enthusiastically.  He proceeded to feed Yevgeny the rest of his dinner, asking Svetlana very politely to reheat it about halfway through.  “There’s nothing worse than cold squash,” Ian said, all big eyes and innocence. 

 

The next few times Ian was over to see both Mickey and Yevgeny, Svetlana continued to keep a close eye on him whenever he interacted with the toddler, but she soon remembered how good he was with kids, and he was obviously much more stable than he had been over a year ago, so she gave up her scrutiny.  She was still wary of Yev ever being left alone with him, and threatened Mickey’s life if he ever did so, and Mickey promised her he wouldn’t, he’d even make Iggy watch them if he went to the bathroom, if that’d just get her to back the fuck off. 

 

Ian’s visits to Mickey’s house were either to see both Mickey and Yev, or date nights to see Mickey and have sex while Yevgeny slept in his mother’s or uncle’s room.  Lots of sex, good sex.  They’d do other things too when they saw each other; they’d go to the movies or watch Netflix, take Yev to the park before handing him over to the other grownups for the night, Ian was even interested in Mickey’s schoolwork and would happily sit for a couple of hours while Mickey showed him what he was doing for homework and projects. 

 

“I can’t believe I actually like school now,” Mickey said, after showing Ian another test that he aced.  “I can’t believe I can actually do it.”

 

“I’m not surprised,” Ian said, looking at Mickey proudly.  “You were always good at finding ways to do things, Mickey.  I’m pretty convinced you can do anything you put your mind too.”   

 

Mickey’s eyes dropped, he couldn’t handle praise like that coming from the one person whose opinion counted with him.  “Yeah, well, I guess it helps that at community college you don’t have to take all that math and history and English and shit.  I never got that about high school, why I had to memorize a bunch of shit that everyone already knew about.  I like this better, getting shown how to do something I can go out and do too and get paid for,” Mickey said, trying to make it sound like it wasn’t a big deal.

 

The one thing they didn’t share was any kind of future plans.  Mickey’s shrink sort of got on him about that. 

 

“Don’t you think it’s important you and Ian know what you expect of each other?” he asked Mickey after Mickey had been seeing Ian for a month.

 

“You’re the one that taught me life doesn’t have any fast and easy answers,” Mickey replied.  “Aren’t you the one always telling me to be patient and to see how things unfold?  Not to snap to conclusions?”

 

The doctor nodded, but knew Mickey was deflecting all the same.  “Forget about answers, are you two even talking about important matters,” he insisted.

 

Mickey shuffled his feet while sitting in the comfortable chair in the doctor’s office and wished he could smoke.  “Look, I know what I need to know, for now, all right?  Ian tells me what his schedule is, I tell him mine, and we work out when we can get together.  It’s enough.”

 

“For now,” the doctor repeated, wanting Mickey to explore that part of the thought more.

 

“Yeah, for now, whatever.  It’s better than what I had for a year, which was nothing.  I’ll take Ian on any terms I can get him, and I’m not going to push for more or ask where it’s going.  Whatever he can handle, that’s all I want.  There were a couple of times I bailed on him-had myself thrown behind bars, because of what I couldn’t handle.  He doesn’t owe me nothin’.”  Mickey was getting pissed off, this guy might know a lot, might even know a lot about Mickey after seeing him all this time, but Mickey had the most important thing in his life back.  Ian was every bit as important to him as Yevgeny, and it was as simple as that.

 

“But what about what Ian wants?” the doctor prodded. 

 

“Huh?” Mickey said.

 

“Is what you have enough for Ian, is it what he wants?”

 

“I dunno, I guess so, he’s the one that initiates everything, I just go by what he does,” Mickey said, sensing a trap.

 

“But maybe Ian’s afraid to push you, maybe he’s afraid to tell you what he truly wants, isn’t that possible?”

 

“I guess it could be, but I’m not a mind reader,” Mickey said, clearly uncomfortable. 

 

“And neither is he, and that’s why communication is key,” the doctor said.  “If you can’t trust him enough to talk to him, maybe he can’t trust you enough either?’

 

“Why are we talking about trust now, who said anything about trust?”  Mickey would kill for a cigarette right now.  “Besides, we’ve talked, a little, about…stuff.” 

 

“Such as?” the doctor asked.

 

Mickey sighed.  “Like, about the other guy he’s seeing.  He trusted me enough to tell me about that.”

 

“And what did he say?”

 

“I don’t know, whatever.  Like, they’re not exclusive?  Like he exists?”  Mickey didn’t know what the doctor wanted to hear.

 

“How does it make you feel, knowing he ‘exists’, that he’s in Ian’s life also?”

 

Mickey shrugged.  “Whatever.  I get to see Ian when I see him.  That’s all I care about.” 

 

“Why do you think Ian told you about his other relationship?  How do you think he feels about not being exclusive?” the doctor wouldn’t let up. 

 

“Uh, I don’t know,” Mickey didn’t even want to try.

 

“Do you think it’s Ian’s idea not to be exclusive, or the other man’s?”

 

“The fuck does that matter?”  Mickey said.  “Either way-he’s either too stupid to know how good he had it with Ian or it was Ian’s idea not to be exclusive and he’s in the same…” Mickey stopped.

 

“Or he’s in the same position you are?  Wanting more but settling for Ian part time?” the doctor asked.

 

“Who said settling?  You know, the reason I kept coming to you after hating a couple of other shrinks was because you didn’t put words in my mouth.  You’re kind of blowing that today.” 

 

“I’m sorry if that’s been the case.  Believe it or not, I am trying to get you to make your own conclusions about what’s going on with this relationship.  Sometimes you take a bit of prodding, Mickey,” the doctor smiled a little wistful smile.  He really did admire Mickey and knew the amount of courage it took him to open up about himself at all. 

 

Mickey ran his hands through his hair and leaned forward in his chair, letting his hands drop down in front of him, between his knees.  “Okay, look.  Here’s what I know-this guy Ian’s seeing, he’s a bit older than us, like twenty-eight or something, and he’s a Chicago firefighter and that right there opens up a lot of bedroom doors for him, I guess, and he’s into that for now.  For meeting as many people as possible and seeing what the world has to offer?  I guess he’s always been out, his family has always known, they’re supportive or whatever, so are the guys he works with.  Ian might have said something to me along the line that when they met, Ian wasn’t looking for anything exclusive either, so they’ve just fallen into this…thing.”  That’s about as far as Mickey wanted to think about Ian being with someone else.  “As for me…I know when I started coming to you, I was a mess.  About a lot of things.    And about Ian.  About losing Ian.  And I know we worked for almost a year trying to get me over Ian.  But you know what I realized?  I survived Ian leaving me, like a person survives a tornado or a hurricane or something they had no real control over.  But I never ‘got over’ Ian.  I love Ian, I loved him after he left me, and I really think I’ll love him till the day I die, no matter what happens in between.  A tornado survivor can be afraid of tornadoes and do everything they can to avoid getting caught in another one, but that doesn’t guarantee them they won’t be hit by another one.  I’d rather enjoy whatever time I get with Ian than try to hide from him and deny what I feel.  If Ian doesn’t love me, if he’s just spending time with me-I’ll take that.  I’ll take that over not having him in my life at all again.” 

 

A few days after that session, Mandy and Lip stopped by to see Yevgeny and have dinner.  Mandy wasn’t freaked out about going to the old house, now that she could go there with Lip, which, before Ian was back in Mickey’s life hadn’t happened yet.  But now they could visit and Mandy was okay with it in short bursts.  She still felt like Kenyatta or her dad might be behind a closed door and would feel antsy before too long, but she was trying to get better about that.

 

It was a night Ian was with Caleb.  After supper and cleaning up, Mickey went outside for a smoke before starting his homework and Lip joined him, leaving Mandy busy and happy with Yev and his blocks.

 

“Hey, man, how’s it going?” Lip asked.

 

“Can’t complain,” Mickey said around his cigarette.  He wondered what this was about.  He and Lip never spoke in private-the only other time was when Lip gave him Ian’s number. 

 

“Saw Ian the other night at Fiona’s,” Lip said.  “He’s looking good.  Healthy, you know?”

 

Mickey just shrugged. 

 

“Mick…,” Lip stopped.  He wasn’t sure how Mickey would take what he wanted to say, no one ever knew how Mickey was going to take something.  “I, uh, I wanted to thank you.”

 

“Thank me?”  Mickey was completely surprised. 

 

“Uh, yeah, you know, for Ian, for taking him…for letting him back into your life.  He smiles more, now.  He’s more content, instead of just, maintaining, you know?”

 

“Not really?” Mickey said honestly.  He had no idea what Lip was on about.  “Isn’t that the meds working?” 

 

“That’s just it.  They have been working, and it made Ian a lot more stable, but something was still missing.  He was either acting too cautious or not letting himself feel…I don’t know exactly what it was, but you got him to open up, to let himself feel things again,” Lip tried to explain.  “Around all of us, he’s just been holding on for so long, but now he’s finally letting himself have little, I don’t know, emotional reactions or something.  That’s all thanks to you.”

 

“I doubt that,” Mickey said dismissively.

 

“No, man, believe me, I’ve seen the difference.  You treating him like you always treated him has made all the difference,” Lip insisted.

 

Mickey winced, thinking back at some of the ways he had treated Ian in the past.  He hoped, no, he KNEW he was treating him better than those times now.  But, maybe Lip had a point about some of the facets of their relationship, the sexual ones anyway.  Mickey couldn’t hold back during those, he never could. 

 

“You’re letting him be himself, whoever that might be now,” Lip went on, when it was clear Mickey wasn’t going to say anything.  “Like, around Caleb and his family, Ian feels like he’s ‘less than’, you know?  But around you…”

 

“Hold up,” Mickey said.  “What’s this about that guy and his family now?”  Mickey was already seeing red.

 

“It’s nothing they’ve said or done, I’m sure of it,” Lip said quickly.  “It’s just-they’re from a nice part of town, always been achievers, always had nice things like the house with a yard and a new car every few years.  Ian’s like Mandy used to be-thinks he’s just from the hood and won’t ever measure up.”

 

“That’s bullshit…” Mickey said.

 

“We know that, we know Ian-and Mandy-are special and beautiful and worthy, but sometimes they lose sight of that.  Ian was getting all stiff, trying not to do anything that would embarrass or shame himself, you know?” 

 

“But hanging out with me in the ghetto cured all that?” Mickey said.

 

“What?  No!  God, Mickey, I don’t know how to say it right, obviously, but you put the spark back into him.  You’ve got Ian laughing and feeling good about himself again, and no one and no pills had been able to do that.  I’m just trying to say thank you, you fuck.” 

 

Mickey inhaled a deep drag of smoke, and then expelled it right into Lip’s face.  Lip braced himself for a punch in the nose. 

 

“You’re welcome, you prick,” Mickey said, throwing his cigarette butt down on the ground and grinding it into the dirt with his heel. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's ironic that I'm posting my chapter where I found Svetlana a way out of the sex trade the same week the Shameless writers rewrote Ian's history and told us he was just a big old hooker when he was working at the Fairy Tail which is now, also according to them, a strip club. I never got to see Ian-or any guy there-stripping down. Plus Ian specifically told the guy that wanted him to shoot the porn that they weren't allowed to turn tricks at the club. I wish the writers would watch the old episodes, but the fact that they so clearly don't explains a lot doesn't it?   
> Anyway, please remember the Caleb in my story isn't the Caleb from TV (although, again, the timing is pretty good, I have Mickey talking about Caleb's sex life the same week Caleb boasts about his to Ian on TV), I just borrowed his name and profession.   
> And in my story, Yev will always look like a Henckel twin. ALWAYS.


	4. Oh Honey I Don't Have A Prayer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little adventure for three.

The fall months passed by and soon it would be Christmas. Mickey invited Ian to come with him and Yevgeny to the mall to get Yev’s picture with Santa Claus.

“You’re kidding, right?” Ian said, trying to wrap his head around Mickey standing in a line of overheated kids and fed up parents, plus wondering in what world Svetlana would let him, Ian, go in her place. 

“Svetlana doesn’t believe in Santa Claus,” Mickey said seriously. “But I do, and I want Yev to get to meet him, and I want a picture of it, damn it.” 

“You believe in Santa Claus?” Ian asked, still not knowing if Mickey was messing with him or what.

“I do, for Yevgeny’s sake. And also because of that Christmas special ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town’-young Santa in that looks just like you,” Mickey grinned, sticking his chin out at Ian.

“He does not!” Ian said. “He’s got blue eyes…”

“Yeah, and that’s the only difference, Red. Face it, he’s at least a relative…” Mickey couldn’t say anymore because Ian used a patented move to shut him up-he stuffed his tongue into Mickey’s mouth. 

The line at the mall was long, no surprise. Ian was holding Yevgeny and Mickey was holding all their coats and Yev’s forest green cable knit sweater that they’d put on right before the picture and the diaper bag. Yevgeny was keeping himself entertained playing peek-a-boo over Ian’s shoulder with the little girl standing in line behind them. Mickey and Ian were keeping themselves entertained by flirting, and, keeping their surroundings and all the little kids within earshot in mind, were using the most innocuous words and terms like “candy cane” and “gumdrop”, which somehow just made everything sound dirtier. Mickey was flashing his bedroom eyes at Ian, and Ian blushed a time or two, which made Mickey want to see that happen again, so he stepped up his game even more. It helped pass the time. 

After they had been in line almost an hour, a short woman dressed as an elf came up to them and punched all the pertinent information she needed from Mickey into a hand held tablet, plus she collected Santa’s sitting fee by swiping Mickey’s credit card on the side of the tablet. 

“Okay, so you’ll be able to preview the image when we take the picture with Santa, then you’ll get an email from us within twenty four hours and you can order whichever photo package you want from there,” she said. They had already overheard her say the same spiel to the people lined up in front of them, so Mickey just nodded and she moved on and repeated the process with the woman behind them. Another elf still up by Santa picked up a bullhorn and announced that Santa was taking a twenty minute break. The entire line groaned, everyone had already been there quite a while. 

The little girl behind them asked her mom why people sounded sad, and the mother explained that Santa was going on a break, but he’d be back soon.

“Like, he’s at recess?” the girl asked. The mom laughed and said yes, that was a good way to look at it.

“That’s okay then, recess goes by quick,” the girl said. She was in first grade and already knew that was the best part of the school day. She tried to engage Yevgeny in some more peek-a-boo, but he had lost interest. The girl scrutinized the group in front of her for the first time, since all her attention wasn’t going to Yev anymore. 

“Are you all getting your picture taken with Santa?” she asked Mickey, since he was the one closest to her. 

“What? No,” Mickey said, a bit abruptly-why was this kid talking to him?

“You’re all dressed alike,” the little girl insisted. “That’s what families do in Christmas pictures, sometimes, they all dress alike.”

“We’re not all dressed alike,” Mickey said. “Hasn’t your mother told you not to talk to strangers?”

“Mickey,” Ian said in a soothing tone. “It’s okay, her mother’s right there.” Ian raised his eyebrows at the woman and she nodded. “And we are all dressed alike, now.” Ian had only worn a white T shirt under his winter coat, and that’s all Yevgeny wore for the train ride downtown, Ian had known the train would be full and hot, and that the mall probably would be too, and that any time Yevgeny was going to be out in the winter air, he’d have their body heat to keep him warm as well as his little coat and hat and mittens. Mickey had started off in a shirt over his T shirt, but as soon as they got in the mall and took off their coats, he had unbuttoned his shirt and took that off too, stuffing it in the diaper bag, getting down to his plain white T underneath. He was hot when they got there from the train. 

Mickey looked down and saw he was, in fact, wearing basically the same thing as Ian and his son, at least from the waist up. “Oh, sorry, kid, I hadn’t even noticed. But, no, we’re not all getting our picture taken with Santa. Just he is, and he’ll be wearing this,” Mickey said, pointing at Yevgeny and holding up the forest green sweater with the same hand. 

“Ooh, that’s a nice color. Santa loves green,” the little girl said. “Of course, I’m wearing red, which is his favorite color,” she smoothed her hands over her obviously new and special for the occasion dress. She tilted her head and looked at Mickey speculatively. “I bet red’s your favorite color too,” she said, darting a look at Ian’s hair. 

Mickey actually blushed. “Uh, yeah. Yeah it is.”

“And you,” she said, turning her head to look up at Ian, “I bet your favorite color is blue,” she smiled. 

“It really is,” Ian said, smiling, looking into Yevgeny’s eyes and then Mickey’s. Mickey just rolled his blue eyes and looked away. 

“What’s your baby’s name?” the little girl asked. 

Ian waited a minute but when it seemed Mickey wasn’t going to answer he said, “His name is Yevgeny. And I’m Ian and this is Mickey-Yevgeny’s dad.” Mickey grumbled some sort of greeting, at least that’s how Ian hoped the girl and her mom would take it. 

“Well, since we have a break, I think I better get this guy into a dry Pamper,” Ian said, hitching Yevgeny higher up on his chest. 

“Mom, I need to go to the bathroom…” the little girl said. 

“That is actually a good idea,” the mom said looking down at her. 

“Mister, would you hold my baby? I don’t like bringing her into public restrooms. You know, germs?” the little girl said as she took a doll out of her mother’s hand and shoved it toward Mickey. Mickey instinctively put his still full hands out to take the baby-shaped object, and made a startled noise when it was actually in his grip and he glanced down at it. 

“Oh, don’t mind that-one time I put her on the vanity but I didn’t know Mommy was heating up her curling iron. She just melted a little. I didn’t want a new one though-she’s my doll and I love her.”

Mickey was looking at the crushed in melted spot where one of the doll’s painted on eyes should be. He admired this little stranger for not demanding a new doll and for sticking by her old “friend”. 

“It’s cool, kid. I melted a spatula once. Things happen,” Mickey said. Ian could’ve kissed him. The little girl broke into a big smile, her front teeth were missing and she was adorable. 

“Her name’s Betty,” the little girl said, and Mickey nodded.

“Got it,” he said. 

“Do you mind holding our spot in line?” the girl’s mother asked.

“Of course not,” Ian spoke up before Mickey could this time. He was taking the diaper bag off Mickey’s shoulder when the woman asked if Mickey would mind watching their bags for them too.

“Sure! No sense bringing them to the bathroom. Like this one says-germs.” Ian again spoke up before Mickey could grumble. They all moved off together, leaving Mickey holding the coats, the doll, and surrounded by handled shopping bags at his feet. 

They were gone quite a while, but then Mickey heard the little girl yelling from about ten feet away, “Hey, mister! Can I have my doll back?” She came skipping up to him first and Mickey handed her the doll, then the mom, and then a few feet behind her Ian was carrying Yevgeny, who now was in a prone position, drinking from a sippy cup. 

“Look who’s getting the sleepy baby eyes,” Ian crooned, rubbing his chin on Yevgeny’s hair. “As soon as he got comfy in a dry diaper, he started to droop.” Yevgeny was reaching out for Mickey, he was still his go to guy for arms to fall asleep in, no matter how close he was with Ian now, or even if Svetlana was available. 

“What’s in the cup?” Mickey asked.

“Just water. He was about five pounds lighter when I got the wet diaper off, plus it’s hot and dry in here. The rest of the bottle’s in the diaper bag, and I bought one for you and me to share,” Ian said as he and Mickey managed to exchange the coats and sweater Mickey was holding for the baby Ian was holding. “Why don’t you sit down over there and see if you can rock him to sleep? I bet we’ll still be in line another hour once Santa gets back.” Mickey nodded and headed over to some benches set up under fake trees to the side of the center of the mall. They were pretty crowded, but the whole time his group had been gone he had noticed how little kids were more than happy to get up and let big people have their seats. Most of the seating now was taken up by people holding sleeping kids. Sure enough, as soon as he got over there, a man told his three little kids to get up and let Mickey sit. 

He was rocking Yevgeny gently from side to side when Ian came over to him. “They’re holding our spot now-want some water?” Ian asked, squeezing in between Mickey and a grandmother holding another sleeping toddler. Ian dropped the diaper bag between his feet and took out the bottle of water.

“Think that woman’s a little too trusting?” Mickey said, taking the bottle from Ian.

Ian gave him a surprised, wrinkled forehead, “what the hell are you on about?” look. 

“Letting her kid talk to strangers, leaving her Christmas shopping with me while you guys went to the bathroom…” Mickey couldn’t believe he had to spell it out for Ian.

“It’d be a pretty elaborate scheme to steal her stuff-coming here with a baby and paying a sitting fee…” Ian smiled at Mickey. “But, you might be a little right about letting the kid talk to us-even though the mom’s right there, how does she know she should trust us? But that’s why I haven’t asked the kid or name or anything. I don’t want her thinking she can just talk to people she doesn’t know.”

“The world’s a scary place for little ones these days,” Mickey said softly, looking down at Yevgeny, who was now completely asleep. Mickey gently worked the sippy cup loose from his fingers, and Ian took it from him. Ian was going to replace the cover with the travel lid, but he didn’t need to bother-Yevgeny had drained the cup dry. 

“It was pretty scary when we were little, too, Mickey,” Ian said quietly.

“Yeah, probably. It just seems scarier now.”

“Because you’re not scared for yourself, you’re scared for someone you love more,” Ian said, looking into Mickey’s eyes. 

Mickey nodded. They both looked down at Yev for a moment.

Mickey broke the silence. “And, does that girl have some sort of gaydar or what?” he blurted out. “Pointing out our favorite colors…”

Ian laughed out loud. “I think she just gets that we’re close, Mickey. I don’t think she’s old enough yet to understand the full reach of our attraction to each other…”

“Christ, I hope not,” Mickey said. 

After a while, they got back in line, and about five minutes before it was going to be their turn, Yevgeny woke up refreshed and happy and Ian let the little girl help put his pullover sweater on (while Mickey held Betty again for her), and they got a very happy picture with Santa. Mickey was thrilled. 

“What a good boy!” Mickey enthused as one of Santa’s helpers handed him back to Mickey after the picture was snapped and approved by all of them-Mickey, Ian, and the little girl. Yevgeny laughed and kissed Mickey when he was close enough.

“You guys make that baby really happy,” the little girl’s mother said, watching as her own little girl scrambled up into Santa’s lap. “Have a merry Christmas.”

“Thanks, you too,” Ian said. “Thanks for making our time in line easier.”

“Same here,” the mom smiled. 

Santa was asking the little girl what her name was, and what she wanted for Christmas. 

“I’m Ayana and I want a puppy,” she stated. Her mother rolled her eyes. 

“Not happening,” the mother muttered to Ian and Mickey. 

“Well, Santa’s more about the toys…” Santa began.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m asking for,” Ayana said, a bit exasperated. “I want a puppy for my doll, Betty. She’s been very good this year.”

Ian and Mickey and the mom laughed, Santa ho ho ho’d, and the picture was snapped. The mom looked at it and gave her approval, and then Ayana jumped down to see the computer screen, she already knew the drill from seeing Yevgeny’s photo there. She liked it too and waved goodbye to Santa. 

“It was nice meeting you,” Ian said, and Mickey said, “Bye,” and had Yevgeny wave. The two little groups went their separate ways. 

“Want to go into any stores while we’re here?” Mickey said, as they walked along. Santa, of course, was strategically placed near a toy store, and Mickey was definitely drifting towards its entrance. Ian smiled at Mickey and nodded, and in they went. 

Inside the store, it was busy but everyone was good natured and relaxed now that most of them had already been through the ordeal of waiting in line for Santa Claus. Mickey was holding Yevgeny, and they’d stop in front of certain shelves, and Mickey and Ian would point at toys that they thought Yev might want. He’d look things over, but so far nothing made him reach out or smile. They came around a corner and were standing in front of shelves filled with stuffed animals and soft dolls, and Yev squealed and was reaching for a doll before his two grownups had even noticed it. 

“Ah, geez,” Ian said quietly, shaking his head. Mickey saw what Ian and his son were looking at and broke into a huge grin.

“Well, well, well, look at what we have here,” Mickey said happily, picking up one of the dolls off the shelf and handing it to Yevgeny.

“Een!” Yev shouted happily.

“Andy,” Ian said emphatically. “Raggedy Andy.”

“Een,” Yevgeny said, just as emphatically. The doll was about half the size of Yevgeny, and he was hugging it fiercely, feeling its red yarn hair with his little fingers. 

“Do you want Santa to bring you a Raggedy Andy?” Ian asked, ignoring the stares of the growing circle of customers around them.

“Een. Mine.” Yev wasn’t interested in using Santa as a middle man. 

“Can’t we call him Andy? His hat says Andy,” Ian tried to point out. But the hat was sewn onto the back of the doll’s head, and you couldn’t even see it looking at it from the front. Now that Yevgeny had seen it, he had an idea about that too.

“Off,” he grunted, trying to pluck it off with his fingers. “Een.” 

Mickey was laughing silently, this was too cute. 

Ian gave it one more try. “I’m Ian,” he said, pointing to himself. “The doll is Andy.”

“Een,” Yev said simply, blinking his big blue eyes at Ian.

Ian sighed in defeat. Sometimes you just can’t budge a Milkovich.

“You tried, Tough Guy,” Mickey said, giving Ian what he thought was a sympathetic look, but was closer to mocking. He was proud of his son for getting the better of a full grown man.

“Yeah, can’t imagine where your son would get a stubborn streak,” Ian grumbled.

“Must be from the mother,” Mickey said, all innocence. 

At the checkout Yevgeny wouldn’t even let the doll be put in a bag, so the friendly cashier asked if they’d like her to cut the price tag off. Mickey nodded and added, “Could you cut the hat off too?” and stuck his tongue out when Ian glared at him. The cashier was happy to oblige.

“My kids never keep the accessories, or clothes, on any of their dolls. If you change the clothes on this doll, you’ll find Andy has a message for you,” she said that last bit right to Yevgeny.

“Een,” Yevgeny told her. 

“Gotta go, thanks for all your help,” Ian said, before the cashier could ask what Yevgeny was saying. 

They went back out into the mall and found a spot to put down some of their stuff so they could bundle up into their winter coats again. They sat down together for a minute on a bench, and Mickey was looking at the doll curiously. 

“Should we?” he asked Ian. He felt kind of weird undressing a doll with all these people around, but all the people were busy with their own lives. Ian nodded and Mickey pulled up the little shirt on the doll while it was still in Yev’s grasp. There was a little heart painted on Andy’s chest, and they pointed it out to Yevgeny, who looked at it interestedly. 

Ian traced around the heart and read what it said out loud, “I love you.” Then he looked up into Mickey’s eyes, and they both quickly looked away. 

“Andy loves you, Yevgeny,” Mickey said. 

“Een,” Yevgeny answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pure fluff, I hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter will be relationship stuff, I promise, but I wanted to show the three of them growing ever closer and just being happy. Just like Mickey and Ian never got a proper love scene and too few kisses, Yevgeny and Mickey and Ian only got one scene that had the three of them together and happy. There'll be a few times in this story where I try to make up for that.


	5. Every Time I See You Standing There I Go Down Upon My Knees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little look into now and then.

One night Mickey was at home doing his homework.  Yev had been in bed for at least an hour, sleeping in Svetlana’s room even though Mickey was on his own for the night.  It was one of Caleb’s off nights, and that’s about as far as Mickey wanted to think about that.  But Svetlana and Nika wanted to go to bed early and they said they had a big day of clients ahead of them, so they might as well go to bed when the baby did and let Mickey have a quiet, undisturbed night for studying.  Mickey shrugged and didn’t argue.  The kid slept through the night so he was no bother, but if Svetlana wanted him to sleep in her room there was no reason to oppose the idea. 

 

Mickey’s phone rang just before nine o’clock.  He was surprised when he saw that the caller was Ian.

 

“Hey, what’s up?” he said, sounding concerned.  He didn’t mean to, he just couldn’t help it.

 

“Well good evening to you too,” Ian laughed.  “You don’t say hello anymore?’

 

“Wasn’t expecting to hear from you, is all,” Mickey said, wishing Ian would say why he _was_ calling.

 

“Is this a bad time, I can call back…” Ian went right into apologetic mode. 

 

Mickey knew they needed to start over.  “No, Ian, hey, it’s fine.  Hello.  How are you?  I was just deep into my schoolwork when the phone rang and it took my brain a minute to catch up.” 

 

“Oops, sorry about that,” Ian said.

 

“No, it’s fi…”

 

“Yup, I get that now, Mick.  Anyway, uh, I was wondering if you’d mind if I came over tonight?  After work?  It’s dead tonight; I bet I could go by eleven if I asked.”

 

Mickey was truly surprised now.  “Uh, sure, of course.  Did, um, uh, his shift get changed and now he’s working tonight?”  Mickey still couldn’t bring himself to say Caleb’s name. 

 

“No.  No, he’s still off tonight.  And not going out or anything.  I was sort of planning to go over there after work, but, um, I just want to be with you instead.”  Ian sounded like he was smiling. 

 

Mickey was definitely smiling.  He told Ian he’d see him after work, and Ian said he’d text him when he was leaving.  They hung up and Mickey was crazy happy that he had been Ian’s first choice.  He jumped in the shower and shaved and treated Ian to a very special evening when he got there. 

 

A lot of the nights Ian worked at the Fairy Tail, Caleb would go out with other people.  Sometimes just with guys from the firehouse to hang out, but quite often with various hook ups and on dates.  Ian didn’t mind it at all.  He hadn’t been looking to settle down when he met Caleb.  He hadn’t been sure what he was looking for, he was only sure that he wasn’t looking for another deep one on one relationship after getting his bipolar diagnosis and ending things with Mickey. 

 

At first Ian was dividing his nights up pretty evenly between Caleb’s, Mickey’s, and Fiona’s, but as time went on, he found himself going to Mickey’s more and more often, even if it was just to sleep next to Mickey for a few hours between the Fairy Tail and Patsy’s Pies, with Yevgeny sleeping in his crib and the two men doing nothing more than cuddling before sleep overtook them. 

 

Mickey knew the days Ian did both jobs exhausted him, and worst of all was when he’d work both jobs one day and have to get up for Patsy’s again the next.  He asked Ian if he really needed to hang on to the job at Patsy’s, wasn’t the money from the Tail enough?

 

“I’m still at Patsy’s because it’s ‘respectable’,” Ian told him.  “Caleb’s family knows about that job, they don’t know about the Fairy Tail.  They’ve been in to see me at Patsy’s,” Ian added, shrugging. 

 

“Has, uh, the firefighter ever been to the Fairy Tail?” Mickey asked.  Not that it mattered.  Not that he cared, for any reason.  He didn’t even know why he asked, but now that he had, he was sort of pissed off by the answer.

 

“No-like I said, not respectable.  He’s got an image to maintain for the department, you know?” Ian said.

 

No, Mickey didn’t know.  He was willing to bet plenty of firemen went to gay bars and strip clubs.  Why be a hypocrite about it? 

 

Ian could read the gist of Mickey’s thoughts from the expression on his face.  “The place is pretty sleazy, Mickey, you gotta admit.”

 

“But it’s okay for you to be in there?  Just not him?”  Mickey was pissed.  “What the hell, Ian, you’re just trying to make a living.  The guy shouldn’t act like he’s above that…you’re not doing anything wrong.”

 

Ian tilted his head and gave Mickey one of his crooked grins.  “Funny you should say all that-and feel free to say no to what I’m about to ask-but I’ve been wondering for a while now if you’d like to come see me sometimes while I’m there.  Work is boring and interminable now that I’m only on prescription drugs.  I thought maybe it’d be at least a little fun if I had you to talk to on my breaks or whatever.  But now this feels like emotional blackmail.  You know what?  Forget I mentioned it, you don’t want to waste your time there, and I shouldn’t have asked.”

 

“Can I have a chance to answer, please?” Mickey said, before Ian got himself even more worked up.  Ian nodded.  “I’ll be there.  I’ve thought of asking you if I could go, but I didn’t want you to think I was checking up on you or whatever.  But plenty of nights I’ve thought about how we could have more time together if I was coming home from work with you and stuff.”

 

Ian smiled.  “Really?  I think about that too.” 

 

The first night Mickey showed up at the Fairy Tail Ian was regretting having asked him.  It was too awkward and uncomfortable dancing with strange dudes knowing Mickey was watching.  He couldn’t believe there was ever a time he didn’t mind this.  He figured he must’ve been even more fucked up in his head than he knew, back then.  Mickey could tell Ian was getting down on himself and tried to give him a little pep talk during his break. 

 

“Ian, all I care about is spending time with you.  It honestly doesn’t matter what we’re doing, as long as we’re together.”  Ian wasn’t believing it, Mickey could tell.  He was keeping his head ducked down and darting his eyes all around, shuffling his feet and looking at anything but Mickey. 

 

“Come on, let’s get something to eat.  You’ll feel better,” Mickey said, heading towards the back room where the guys kept their coats and clothes. 

 

“Mickey, I only get a half hour…” Ian said, having to follow Mickey so he’d be able to hear him over the music. 

 

“And McDonalds is five minutes away and they have a drive through,” Mickey said.  “Go on, get your coat.  You don’t even need pants.”  When they got outside, Mickey kissed Ian hot and hard, and when they got in the car Mickey leaned across the seat and kissed Ian, and after Mickey ordered them Big Macs and fries and they had to wait for the line of cars to move, he kissed him again. 

 

“What is all this?” Ian laughed, after the car behind them beeped and Mickey had to watch where he was driving.

 

“The reason I want to be with you when you’re at work-seemed like you needed reminding,” Mickey said, glancing to the side at Ian as they made their way to the drive up window. 

 

They settled into a routine that worked for both of them on the nights Ian had to work and Mickey didn’t have to watch Yevgeny.  Mickey would eat dinner and stick around the house till after Yev went to bed, and then he’d head out to the Fairy Tail, usually bringing Ian a container of whatever they had for dinner and lots of times that had been made by Ian himself-he’d cook at Mickey’s on his days off from Patsy’s and leave supper ready for everyone before his night shifts at the club.  Ian and Svetlana would even cook meals together, sometimes, trading recipes and cooking secrets and laughing and bonding again.  Mickey didn’t mention it to either of them, but he was glad they were coming together over feeding the family.  Mickey would also bring his schoolwork and his trusty laptop to the club.  The guys working at the Fairy Tail got used to having him around.  He’d just sit quietly in a booth, staying out of everyone’s way, drinking soda (since Ian wasn’t drinking, Mickey didn’t either) and doing his work on his computer until Ian was free to spend time with him, and eventually, go home.  The nature of the business leant itself to a high turnover rate, so most of the employees working at the Fairy Tail didn’t know Mickey from before.  The bouncers and bartenders all really liked him though, he was an extra set of eyes out on the floor for them, and he had an innate sense of who would likely cause trouble the minute they walked through the door.  More than once he had given a bouncer a head’s up, or had even quietly and menacingly stepped in when a patron got a little too clingy or aggressive with one of the dancers.  He looked out for all of them, too, not just Ian, and the other guys really appreciated him for that. 

 

One night a guy came in and Paulie, one of the new bouncers, spotted him as trouble from the minute he walked in.  He was too rich for the blood of the Fairy Tail-too tan for Chicago, his hair and clothes and watch all screaming that he spent tons of money to look like he was casual and hip and younger than he obviously was.  Paulie got the feeling he was probably from Los Angeles (he’d look a bit trashier if he was from Nevada or Florida), probably some latent homosexual who was a raging homophobe in his public daytime life, in town to research Chicago hospitals or police precincts or some such shit for the epic script he was inevitably working on. 

 

The douchebag zeroed his sights in on Ian the minute he saw him, and it wasn’t long before he had paid Ian to give him a lap dance.  Mickey was outside the club on the phone with Svetlana, checking in on Yev.  He was cutting a tooth and wasn’t his usual cheerful self all day, and Mickey just wanted to be sure he had stayed asleep after Mickey left.  Svetlana assured him that he was doing fine, and Mickey went back inside, just in time to see the old guy grab Ian’s balls. 

 

Paulie had seen it too, and was a lot closer, so by the time Mickey got to them Paulie had already gently pulled Ian off the jerk and was in the middle of telling the old guy to fuck off and keep his hands off the dancers.  Ian flashed a warning look at Mickey.  Paulie was handling it, and Ian didn’t want Mickey making a scene.  He’d been groped plenty of times before, it’d happen again, he didn’t want Mickey tearing this guy apart. 

 

Mickey gnawed on his lower lip for a second, not liking how the old dude hadn’t backed off very far yet.  Then he reached into his pocket and took out his wallet and fished a fifty dollar bill out, holding it up for Paulie, Ian, and the gross old fuck to see. “Tell the DJ to play Freebird and Stairway To Heaven,” Mickey told Paulie, but looking into Ian’s eyes.

 

“Huh?” the bouncer asked, at a loss.

 

“Or a Cher remix and whatever else they have that lasts over five minutes, I don’t give a fuck, I just want my money’s worth.”  Paulie grinned and ran off to make the request and Mickey said, “How 'bout it?  Ready to dance?” and put his arms up, sticking his elbows out a little bit and did a little grind and hip thrust move.

 

Ian barked out a laugh and said, “If you can actually dance, with that ass of yours you'll put all the other boys out of business.” 

 

The next song started and Mickey stuck the fifty into Ian’s waistband.   Ian pushed Mickey down on the nearest couch to give him a lap dance and right away Ian really let himself get into it and it was hot, he was slinking his long limbs and fingers all up and down all over Mickey’s body.  Mickey was powerless to resist, and besides, he wasn’t even trying.

 

“What’ll happen if I try to fondle your balls?” Mickey asked, his blue eyes taking in all of Ian’s face as it hovered a mere inch from his own.

 

“Getting jizz out of these gold lame shorts is murder,” Ian told him.

 

Mickey laughed.  “Do you speak from experience?”

 

Ian let his eyes dropped closed, his eyelashes fanning his cheeks.  Keeping his eyes down, he asked shyly, “Can I tell you something and not make you mad?”

 

Mickey was a bit taken aback by that; between the look Ian shot him when he first came in from his phone call, and now this, he was starting to wonder if Ian had been avoiding talking about certain things with him, just like Mickey had been avoiding certain things with Ian.  But in his case he wasn’t afraid Ian would get mad, he just worried if he pressured him about certain things he might decide Mickey wasn’t worth the hassle.  Mickey promised Ian he wouldn’t get mad, but braced himself for what Ian might say, all the same.

 

“Once I gave up being high, the only way I could get through work sometimes was to close my eyes and pretend it was you I was with,” Ian said quietly. 

 

Mickey wasn’t mad at all, he was touched that Ian was thinking about him, and told him so.

 

“I was thinking about you, too,” he added, and Ian smiled, looking down at Mickey from where he was hovered over him.  Mickey smiled back and Ian tilted Mickey’s head up ever so slightly by placing the tips of two of his fingers under Mickey’s chin, and brought his own face down to meet Mickey’s and kissed him deeply. 

 

Paulie had positioned himself back near the troublemaker after delivering Mickey’s request to the DJ, and now the old fart grabbed the bouncer’s arm and was trying to yell at him.

 

“Look at that!  Where’s your no touching rule now?  What about him?”

 

Paulie is so new that not only does he not know Mickey from before, he doesn’t even know him now, or that the other employees in the club all like and respect him, but he could see that Ian was cradling Mickey's head gently and controlling the kiss, and that Mickey had his hands lightly on Ian's waist and was softly stroking his thumb over Ian's V-and that Ian didn’t mind it one bit.  He told the idiot, “Can't you see that's true love?  You need your eyes examined, and your head, probably.”  He kicked the jerk out, and the whole time he was dragging him out the door the old guy was yelling how he made George Clooney a star.  The bouncer commented, “I’m sure he appreciates it,” and booted his ass out the door.

 

Another night, Ian made his way over to the bar shortly after Mickey had arrived.  Miguel the bartender had made Mickey a drink that he had already had a few sips of, and Ian asked what it was.

 

“It’s a Roy Rogers,” Miguel grinned.  “It’s like a Shirley Temple with grenadine and a cherry, but cola instead of ginger ale.”   He thought it was adorable that Mickey wouldn’t take so much as one beer the nights he came in-even though he’d give him drinks on the house-just because Ian didn’t drink. 

 

Ian was reaching two of his long fingers into the glass.  “Mind if I take your cherry?” he asked, not really waiting for an answer.  He fished the piece of fruit out by its stem and popped it into his mouth.

 

“Might as well,” Mickey said.  “You did it the first time without asking.” 

 

Ian bit down hard and sputtered on the cherry juice.  “Wh…wha…what?” he stuttered out, taking the stem out from between his teeth before he accidently sucked in and swallowed it.  “What is that supposed to mean?”

 

“What does it traditionally mean?” Mickey grinned. 

 

“Mickey, are you saying…you mean…I was your first?” Ian said, his eyes big and wondering. 

 

Mickey shot a look at Miguel, who was beaming at both of them. 

 

“Yes you were, and I’m not discussing it here,” Mickey sort of growled, turning away from Ian on the spinning bar stool.  Ian grabbed his arm and spun him around again towards him and pulled him off the stool and said, “Come on, Mick,” and over his shoulder as they walked away added, “I’m taking my dinner break now, Miguel.”  Miguel didn’t care-most of the dancers waited till as late as possible to take their thirty minute dinner breaks.  As long as enough dancers stayed on the floor at any given time, no one cared who took their break when.  It was still fairly early considering the place stayed open till two AM, Ian could have his break now. 

 

Ian dashed into the back room and shucked into his jeans without taking his shoes off and threw his coat on, not bothering with a shirt.  They went out to Mickey’s car and got in. 

 

Mickey said, “Where do you want to go?”

 

“Nowhere,” Ian said, “I just wanna talk, Mickey.”

 

“You need to eat…” Mickey began.

 

“Took my pills with a snack at six, I’m not hungry, I’ll be fine,” Ian said.

 

“Well, I’m turning the car on anyway, for the heat, it’s freezing out here,” Mickey said.  The winter night was brutal, especially with the wind howling around the car. 

 

Mickey adjusted the heater settings, and then looked over at Ian, who was still staring at him with the big puppy eyes. 

 

“Mickey,” he said seriously.  “I was your first?  You lost your virginity to ME?”

 

“Who the hell else would I have lost it to?” Mickey said.  “I was so far in the closet…and the only people I ever hung out with were my brothers and my crew, and my crew was mostly made up of my brothers.  And the other guys in the crew were homophobes like my dad and probably would’ve killed me as easily as Terry would’ve, if they had known what I was really like.” 

 

Ian let all that sink in.  He never really thought about Mickey having friends or who he hung out with before they got together, and once they got together, they each seemed to be enough for each other. 

 

“Was I,” Ian said, something else dawning on him, “your first kiss, too?”

 

“Course you were,” Mickey said, in a soft caressing voice.  “You remember how long it took me to kiss you-if I wasn’t fucking before I met you, I certainly wasn’t kissing.” 

 

Ian snorted out a quiet little laugh.  Mickey certainly did seem to think kissing was more intimate than anything-he had put everything else of Ian into his mouth before he finally let his tongue in there.

 

“But, Mickey, you were,” Ian had to stop and do some quick math, remembering how old he had been and then adding a year for Mickey, “sixteen, our first time.  You had never done anything…?  Not even with Angie or some other girl?”

 

Mickey shook his head.  “I didn’t want anyone touching me.  I asked girls out because I didn’t want my dad or any of my brothers, or even Mandy, for that matter, catching on, but when the few who said yes actually went out with me?  I was a dirty little savage and made sure they didn’t want to get near me.  I wouldn’t shower or brush my teeth…”  Mickey shook his head, thinking about what an idiot he had been.  He really didn’t have to try so hard to keep the girls at bay. 

 

“Hey, Mickey?” Ian said in a quiet voice.

“Yeah?”

 

“Why me?  Why did you…let me…” Ian let the thought trail off.

 

Mickey smiled, right at him, looking right into his eyes.  Even in the low light from the dashboard, Ian could see the fire that burned in Mickey’s eyes, and it took his breath away for a second.

 

“That’s a good question, huh?” Mickey said, reaching over and rubbing the side of Ian’s jaw, letting his fingers sink into his thick hair as his hand ran to the back of Ian’s head before putting his hand back on his own lap.  He took a deep breath, let out a sigh.  “So, we need to go further back than our teens…in elementary school, I didn’t know you, but I always saw you running around, usually trailing after Lip.”  Ian nodded, Lip and Mickey had been in the same grade.  “So, the last time I saw you before I ever saw you as a teen was my last year in elementary school, before school broke for the summer.  I’m almost a year and a half older than you, so I was closer to thirteen and you were eleven, and you were still short and little then, your feet and hands and head were all too big for your body, and your hair was a mess of Ronald McDonald orange curls-oh, and you were covered in freckles, your face was more freckles than face.”  Ian laughed.  Mickey smiled at him and sighed again.  “So, I went to junior high and completely lost track of you-only kept track of Lip so I could buy papers and homework off of him.  By the time you got to junior high, I was already running with a pretty bad crowd from the high school, plus no eighth grader would take notice of a seventh grader anyway, but I honestly don’ t ever remember running across you there.”  Ian nodded, he didn’t remember seeing Mickey either. 

 

“Anyways, then you got to high school after I’d been there a year.  You still weren’t on my radar until the night Mandy came home crying about you.”  Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian, and Ian raised his back.  Of course he remembered that incident.  “When we finally got her calm enough to tell us a few things about you, she said you worked at the Kash and Grab, so the next day me and the boys called on you there.” 

 

Ian said, “I remember that well.”

 

Mickey laughed.  “I bet.  I was trying to make an impression.  I wanted to scare the pants off of you, but then something else happened instead-I got a look at you.  You were probably too busy running for your life to notice, but when I saw you, I froze for a minute-that’s the only way you got away, by the way.”

“Ha!  Dream on!” Ian crowed, sounding for all the world like the tough fifteen year old he had been back then. 

 

“It’s true,” Mickey smiled, feathers unruffled.  “Instead of the curly haired, freckled pipsqueak I had been picturing, there you were, suddenly a foot taller, everything seemed in proportion, and now instead of that wild orange mess on top, your hair was magically straight and shiny and dark and red as a rose…what?”

 

Ian was staring at Mickey in disbelief.  “Did you just compare me to a flower?”

 

Mickey gave Ian an exasperated look.  “Hey, in case you haven’t noticed, everything where we grew up and where we live is either a shade of shit brown or dirty gray-you stood out, okay?  I had never seen anything as bright and pretty…”

“PRETTY?” Ian shouted.

 

“Your hair is pretty, was pretty-the color of it…you wanna hear the story or not?” Mickey said.  “Your break’s gonna run out…”

 

“Okay, okay, tell me the rest of the story,” Ian said in a placating voice.  But inside he was buzzing-the Mickey Milkovich from back then thought he was pretty.  If he had known that when he was fifteen, he would’ve been the happiest boy in the South Side. 

 

“Okay, so, I’m there to kill you, but then I get a good look at you and, I don’t know, I can’t think straight, heh heh, and everything I had been tamping down since puberty began was rushing to the surface faster than I could handle it, right?  So, I had the excuse to keep looking for you-for Mandy, but you maddeningly disappeared.  Then all of the sudden Mandy comes home from school one day, blathering how she’s your girlfriend and you’re her boyfriend and everything’s right with the world.  Well, for her maybe, but now I’m obsessed with seeing you again but I don’t have a reason to seek you out anymore, so I started knocking over the Kash and Grab every chance I got.”

 

“I’m the reason you started ripping the place off?” Ian said, not quite believing it.

 

“Hey, had you ever seen me in there before?  I wasn’t stupid-well, not _that_ stupid anyway-I tended to commit crimes only outside of the neighborhood, where people couldn’t ID me by name.  Anyway, I’d go in, hoping to get a glimpse of you,” he shot Ian a flirty look, Ian smiled back, “but then I needed a reason to be in there, didn’t I?  And it couldn’t be because of my puppy love crush on you, so I stole shit.  And one day Kash was stupid enough to pull that gun on me, and I was pissed because you weren’t even there, so I stole that too.”  They both laughed.  Mickey tilted his head, and gave Ian a soft look.  “And then you showed up in my room, trying to get it back.”

 

Ian just raised his eyebrows, waiting for Mickey to go on.

 

“And, I was hung over, or still a little drunk, probably, from the night before, and at first I didn’t even think you were really there, that I must be dreaming.  But that tire iron in my back felt pretty real, and at first all I was trying to do was get that away from you, I think.  Get that away from you and get you outta there before Terry could find you, but then you were such a punk and started swinging.  I think.”  Mickey laughed a little, he honestly didn’t remember who took the first swing, but he did still remember how terrified his alcohol fogged brain was that Terry was going to find a boy, THE boy, in his bedroom.  “You slammed me around that room pretty good, Gallagher.”

 

They both smiled at that.  Mickey hadn’t used Ian’s last name as a direct form of address in years.  “So, for all I knew at that point, you and Mandy were boyfriend and girlfriend…”

“Hold up,” Ian said.  “If you still were thinking that, that makes what happened next…”  


“Yeah, I know, pretty shitty, if you had really been her boyfriend.  Believe me, it tore me up for a while, but not enough to keep me away from you.  I had even convinced myself I’d be doing Mandy a favor if I was helping you get in touch with your ‘gay side’ and she could just dump you before she got any more invested.”  Mickey shook his head, sighing again. 

 

“And then…?” Ian asked. 

 

“You remember,” Mickey said.

 

“Well, course I remember, but now knowing that was your first time, I…I,” Ian stopped, swallowed, look Mickey right in the eyes.  “Wh-wh-why me?”  He finally whispered.

 

“Why you?” Mickey raised his eyebrows.  “Because you were there-no wait, hear me out,” he said quickly, when Ian huffed.  Mickey hadn’t meant that he would’ve done… _that_ …with just any boy that was there at the time.  “You, the guy I couldn’t get out of my head, the guy I was ripping off the Kash and Grab on pretty much a daily basis just to get a look at, you weren’t only in my room, you were in my bed, under me, and you went from being scared to looking me right in the eye-when you did that, I almost came right then and there, you know.”

 

Ian was remembering.  “I had my eyes scrunched closed, waiting for you to bring that tire iron down on my head, and then you didn’t, and I looked at you to see if I could figure out why…and then I noticed your crotch was in my face, and you had a hard on in those track pants…” Ian was smiling, remembering. 

 

“Yup, and you didn’t look away, you looked back _at_ me, those damn huge eyes of yours getting even bigger, drinking me in…” Mickey had thought about that day a million times, easily, since it happened.  Hell, for a year, it was just about all he had to think about when he was trying to get to sleep, all alone in his bed.  “You just seemed…okay with it, okay with me.”  Now it was Mickey who was whispering. 

 

“How was it?” Ian said.

 

“You were there…”

 

“Mickey, I was there, but I was fifteen and probably had zero technique, and I sure as hell didn’t know I should’ve been taking things slow…”

 

“What?  Naw, I would’ve punched you in the face if you had suggested anything like that.  I wanted you, I wanted it good and hard.  If it even hurt, I don’t remember, and back then I expected everything that happened to me to hurt anyway.  All I know is, once you got in there and hit the right spot?  I had never felt anything like that and all I wanted to know was when I’d get it again.” 

 

Ian smiled and shook his head.  “That sounds like the Mickey I knew then.”

 

“You miss that guy?  That tough guy?” Mickey asked.

 

“Nope.  He’s still around in there if I need him, I bet, but that guy wouldn’t kiss me,” Ian said, seriously. 

 

Mickey leaned over and kissed Ian, soft, but with a lot of tongue.  “Your hair still got orange, you know, in the summer,” Mickey said, keeping his lips close to Ian’s and bumping their noses together gently.  He kissed Ian again, tangled the fingers of his left hand in that hair.  “And then in the fall and winter it goes back to that shade of red.”  Kiss, kiss, kissing. 

 

Ian pulled his chin back a little, to give his lips some space, but kept their foreheads and noses touching.  “And which do you prefer?” he asked.  Put his lips back on Mickey’s.

 

“I like both,” Mickey said.  Kiss.  “Sunrise and sunset, you know?”  Kiss.  “They’re different, but all part of the same thing, too.”  More kissing but then they had to get back inside.  Mickey sent up a brief, silent prayer that he’d get to see if Ian’s hair still turned orange when this summer came. 

 

They went back inside, since Ian’s break was over, and Mickey went back to the bar to get his laptop from Miguel.  He was just about to go find an out of the way booth when Ian came trotting back up to him.

 

“Have Miguel hang on to that for another minute,” Ian said.  “DJ’s gonna play a song for us.”  Ian took Mickey’s hand and brought him out onto the dance floor and just stood there, still holding his hand, looking into Mickey’s eyes as they waited for the current song to end.  It did, and the DJ said into his microphone that he was going to slow things down for a couple of minutes, and that this song was going out by special request.

 

Every Rose Has Its Thorn started playing, and Mickey broke into a smile and pulled Ian to him.  Ian put his arms up on Mickey’s shoulders, crossing his arms at his wrists behind Mickey’s head, and Mickey put his hands on Ian’s hips and they sort of swayed to the music. 

 

“You know, you’re the only one to _ever_ have me,” Mickey told Ian, looking up into his eyes.  “I did all the fucking in juvie and with girls and with the few guys I got with in the year we were apart.”

 

Ian didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t say anything.

 

“There was this one guy, when you were with Monica, that I thought I might…he was just some poor cupcake, I wound up buying him a bucket of chicken instead and sending him home with fifty bucks so his pimp wouldn’t beat him up.”

 

Ian smiled a small smile. That sounded like something Mickey would do.

 

“And there was this one redhead in the Alibi I tried to get to fuck me, but since she was a woman there was no penetration…”

“WHAT?”  That finally got a response out of Ian. 

 

Mickey laughed a rueful laugh and shrugged his shoulders.  “It’s true.  While you were in the army.  I was pretty much at the end of my rope…”

 

“I’m sorry, Mick,” Ian whispered, his voice choking a bit. 

 

“Hey, none of that, that’s all done and over,” Mickey said.  “It’s us again, now.”  He was quiet for a couple of seconds then asked, “When did you know…that you, you know, liked me?  When you saw that hard on in my pants?”  Mickey tried to chuckle, to turn it into a joke, but he really wanted to know.  He hoped Ian at least liked him a little, that first time.

 

Ian broke into one of his big smiles.  “I knew in Little League.”

"You did not,” Mickey was incredulous.

 

“You were my first crush, Mickey.  I was just starting to feel things, back then, and I didn’t feel anything for any girls, but every day I’d wait for practice or games and then I could never take my eyes off you when we were there.  I’m lucky a line drive didn’t kill me one of those times,” Ian said, completely serious.

 

Mickey blushed, but smiled.  “I can’t wait to get you in my bed tonight, all right?”

Ian nodded, but then said, “Be here.  Now.”  Mickey nodded, and concentrated on just Ian, in front of him, feeling his hips roll and move under his hands for a few beats, then he pulled Ian closer and wrapped his arms around him and Ian whispered, “Relaaaaax,” right into his ear and Mickey instantly unballed his fists and let one of his thumbs stroke over the short, soft hairs at the small of Ian’s back.  Mickey looked at the closed mouth smile he fell in love with when he was sixteen and then whispered, “Here,” and closed his eyes, rested his head on Ian’s shoulder and just let himself feel the solidity and warmth of Ian. 

 

After about a minute had gone by, Mickey asked, “Have you ever listened to the words of this song?”

 

And Ian replied, “Yeah, no, that’s what I was just thinking.  I only knew the title-these words aren’t us, okay?”  Mickey grinned and nodded his head in agreement. 

 

From that night on, Miguel always put two cherries in Mickey’s Roy Rogers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I blissfully wrote this chapter before the show's writers retconned Ian's time at the Fairy Tail into a lurid story of unending illicit sex for pay. In my story the Fairy Tail remains a gay club, not the strip club the writers changed it to-which was dumb in this era of Magic Mike when we've never seen any of the dancers at the club strip down-who wouldn't love to have seen Ian do that? But I digress. Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this chapter, thinking about Mickey and Ian and how much they meant to each other even before they really knew themselves, and the original seeds for that were planted by the TV show writers, I really wish they could find their way back to it.


	6. You See In All My Life I've Never Found What I Couldn't Resist What I Couldn't Turn Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian does a nice thing.

The next day was a Saturday, and Ian had to work a double shift at Patsy’s Pies.  Fiona was in a bind, all the other cooks had the flu.  Saturday was their biggest day of the week, otherwise she would’ve tried to press one of the wait staff into service as a cook, she hated the thought of pushing Ian into exhaustion, but she just didn’t have a choice.  She needed someone experienced handling the cooking.  She was letting him go the minute the dinner rush ended, though.

 

In the mid-afternoon, there was a knock at the Milkovich’s door.  Svetlana answered, and a delivery person was on the porch, a huge bouquet of roses in his hands.  As he handed the bouquet over to Svetlana so he could pull a tablet out from under his arm, Nika came up behind Svetlana and said something in Russian.

“I don’t know,” Svetlana answered in English.  “Probably some client…”

 

The delivery person looked down at his tablet.  “These are for Mickey Milkovich,” he said.

 

Mickey was right inside near the door, playing on the floor with the wooden Brio train set Ian had given Yevgeny for Christmas.  Mickey and Ian hadn’t exchanged Christmas gifts, they agreed beforehand that matching orgasms made a nice enough present, so Mickey was surprised when Ian stopped by late Christmas morning with a big wrapped box for Yevgeny. 

 

“I thought we said no gifts…” Mickey tried to protest.

 

“Yeah, between us, but Christmas is for kids.  Besides, you seem to think I have a Claus family connection, and I couldn’t risk letting Yev down,” Ian smirked, pulling a sprig of plastic mistletoe out of his pocket once Mickey took the box out of his hands and holding it over their heads for a kiss.  Mickey laughed and obliged, and Yev had been thrilled with the train set. 

 

Yev was concentrating on pushing the train cars around, so Mickey got up and went to the door to see what was up.

 

“I’m Mickey Milkovich,” he told the delivery guy, and Svetlana shoved the roses at Mickey and took  the tablet. 

 

“Who would send you dozen roses?” Svetlana said.  “Carrot Boy do something stupid he needs to apologize for?”

 

“Fifteen roses, actually.  The gentleman who ordered them was quite adamant about that,” the delivery person said.  “There’s no card, so, enjoy your flowers!”  He took the tablet back from Svetlana and went out the door. 

 

Mickey was looking at the roses in amazement.  They were a dark crimson red and they smelled wonderful.  No one had ever sent him anything, let alone anything as beautiful as this.

 

“Why fifteen?” Svetlana demanded.  “What does it mean?”

 

“It means mind your own fuckin’ business, that’s what it means,” Mickey said, not wanting to have to share this with anybody but Ian. 

Svetlana tsked her tongue and pointedly looked down at Yevgeny.  “Don’t curse,” she said.  “Just tell me-did Ian do something bad or not?”

 

Mickey relented a little at Svetlana using Ian’s actual name.  He knew that she still had some doubts about Ian, probably always would. 

 

“This is a super nice thing he did-and not for anything bad-in the past, okay?  And don’t give him any shit about sending me flowers, you don’t need to be up our asses just because we’re all under the same roof,” Mickey said quietly, so the baby wouldn’t hear him swear.  Mickey walked into the kitchen, a bit at a loss as to what to put the flowers in, they had never had a need for a vase in the house, ever.  He placed the roses on the table and started digging through a cabinet where they kept the pots and pans, pulling out the tallest one that they usually cooked spaghetti in. 

 

Svetlana had followed him, keeping one eye on Yevgeny who was still content with his trains.  Mickey was putting water in the pan.

 

“Snip the bottoms off so the flowers can drink,” Svetlana said.  “And put some sugar in the water, keeps roses prettier longer.”

 

“How the fuck do you know that?” Mickey asked, opening a drawer and taking out scissors. 

 

“Old time movies,” Svetlana shrugged.  “They are pretty, keep them nice,” she added, handing him the sugar bowl before she went back to Yevgeny. 

 

That night Ian got to Mickey’s house later than anticipated.  Fiona kept her promise to let him go as soon as the dinner rush ended, but the problem was the dinner rush didn’t end till after eight o’clock.  And then Ian had to take the El to get to Mickey’s, so it was nearly nine when he trudged up the steps to Mickey’s front door.  He had texted Mickey when he was on his way, so he knocked softly hoping Mickey was keeping an ear out for him.  He didn’t want to wake up Yevgeny. 

 

Mickey opened the door and noticed how worn out Ian looked.  “You know, it’s ironic that you live so close to the tracks, but the nearest stop is such a hike away,” Ian said with a tired smile.

Mickey opened the door wide and let Ian in.  The house was quiet and dark, the only light coming from over the dining table where Mickey had been working on his laptop. 

 

Ian whispered, “Everyone’s asleep?”

 

Mickey nodded.  “Well, the girls and Yev are, Iggy’s out prowling, I threatened to cut his dick off if he makes noise coming home-and he knows Svetlana would carry that out even if I wouldn’t.” 

 

Ian’s eyes were drawn to the light.  Sitting in the middle of the table was the big pot with the roses, glowing in the direct overhead light.  Ian broke into a big smile. 

 

“You got them,” he said in a pleased voice.  Mickey nodded and Ian walked past him to see them up close.

 

“They’re beautiful, Ian.  Thank you,” Mickey said softly, and not only because he was trying to keep his voice down for the sleepers in the house.

 

Ian was over by the table now, and Mickey had followed him only so far as to stand across the room to watch Ian.  Mickey leaned against a door jam and folded his arms in front of him as Ian circled the table, looking at the flowers.  When he was on the far side of the table, he leaned over and smelled the flowers, just his eyes and forehead and a bit of his cheeks showing over the roses.  Mickey could tell by the way his cheeks rounded that he was smiling.  Ian looked up at Mickey and caught the way Mickey was looking at him.  He raised his eyebrows at Mickey.

 

“Mind if I take one of these?” Ian asked.

 

“Go ahead, man, you bought ‘em,” Mickey replied.

 

Ian pulled one of the roses out, and grabbed a paper napkin from the basket sitting on the table.  He wrapped it around the bottom of the flower to catch any water that was still there.

 

“Careful, there’s thorns…” Mickey warned.  “I got pricked putting them in there.”

 

“Pricked, huh?” Ian said, his low voice joking and his chin jutting out.  “Well, don’t worry-what I have in mind uses the soft end of this.”  He rubbed the rose under his nose and gave Mickey his biggest big eye look.  Mickey licked the corner of his mouth, swallowed, and smiled.  Without another word, he spun on his heel and headed into the bedroom, Ian following soon behind. 

 

Mickey turned on the light next to the bed, and Ian reached around him and put the rose on the nightstand and then put his hands on Mickey’s shoulders to turn him around, pulling him into a hug and kissing him. 

 

“Hey, did you get to eat?” Mickey asked. 

 

Ian raised his eyebrows at him.  “That’s what you’re thinking of when I’m kissing you?”

 

“Naw, well, a little.  You texted when you were gonna be later than you thought, and then when you were leaving Patsy’s, but you never said anything about getting to eat,” Mickey said.  “I could make you a sandwich…”

 

Ian kissed Mickey again.  “I grabbed a bite so I could take my pills on time,” Ian said after the kiss, his forehead against Mickey’s, his eyes looking right into Mickey’s in the low light.  Mickey kissed him back, softly at first, but quickly turning it into something more. 

 

“Thanks for the flowers, Tough Guy.  The _fifteen_ flowers,” he smiled, then took Ian’s lower lip into his mouth and sucked on it gently.    

 

“Sorry they were a few years late,” Ian said, when his lips were his own again.

 

“I think I still owe you,” Mickey said.  “You showed me a good time that day.”

 

“Lucky for you I had that lubed condom in my wallet,” Ian laughed. 

 

“Lucky for me you knew what to do-I would’ve told you to just ram inside me, but I do recall you doing something with my spit on your fingers first…”

“Thank Kash for that, at least,” Ian said.

 

Mickey wrinkled his nose.  “Ah, no…”

 

“You know what I mean, Mickey,” Ian laughed. 

 

“You think so?  You think I’m gonna thank another guy for your natural gifts?  I don’t think so.”  Ian laughed some more, Mickey was tickling him as he pulled Ian’s shirt up at the sides, and his voice was mock-tough. 

 

“Hey, I’m sorry, I don’t want to kill the mood.  Get undressed and lie down,” Ian said.  Mickey liked it when Ian took charge of these things.  He quickly complied and was lying on his back before Ian had his shoes untied. 

 

When Ian was completely naked, he crawled onto the bed, holding himself up over Mickey, smiling into his eyes.  Mickey was smiling back, he had a feeling this was going to be good.  All of Ian’s tiredness seemed to have disappeared the minute he saw the flowers.  Ian reached over to the night stand and picked up the rose.  He gently traced it down the bridge of Mickey’s nose and then rested it right under his nostrils for a second.  Mickey inhaled the scent of it deeply with his eyes closed and smiled, and then opened his eyes to look at Ian again.  Never taking his eyes from Mickey’s, Ian lightly traced the rose over Mickey’s lips and down his chin and across his collarbone.  He circled it around one nipple, then the other, finally looking down to admire the varying shades of red between Mickey’s nipple and the petals.  Ian pushed himself up a bit with the hand that was holding him up over Mickey, and dragged the rose down one side of Mickey’s rib cage.  Mickey’s back arched up and he giggled-Mickey Milkovich actually giggled.

 

“You ticklish?” Ian said in wonderment.  Ian had never elicited a giggle like that from Mickey before. 

 

“No…” Mickey tried, as Ian dragged the rose down the other side of his ribs, getting another giggle.  “Ian, stop that.” 

 

“And why on earth would I?” Ian said.  “This is a momentous occasion-I’ve learned another secret about you.”  He smiled, and then kissed Mickey who was in the midst of rolling his eyes.  Mickey gave in immediately, stopping the eye roll and letting his eyes cross to look at Ian and kissed back.

“Tell anyone and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out,” Mickey said, smiling after the kiss.  He brought his hand up to cradle Ian’s face, to keep him from going to lower places on his body again, but Ian had other things in mind. 

 

“I’ll quit tickling you, for now,” Ian promised, his voice low and husky.  He crawled backwards a couple of feet on the bed and resumed stroking the rose petals against Mickey’s body, but over the tops of his thighs this time, letting his chin bump the head of Mickey’s cock, which was standing erect.  Ian smiled at it, and circled the rose around it, giving it the lightest of brushes.  Mickey groaned. 

 

“Am I taking too long?” Ian asked, all innocence. 

 

“Compared to the time you’re just now sending those roses for?  Damn right it’s taking too long,” Mickey said.  “But I get what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it,” he added, rubbing his hands through Ian’s hair. 

 

Ian smiled and then lowered his head to take Mickey into his mouth.  Mickey gasped, he hadn’t been expecting that.  Ian brought the rose back into things, circling it softly around on Mickey’s tummy.  Either Mickey wasn’t very ticklish there, or the stimulation Ian’s mouth was providing to his dick overrode the tickling sensation.  Mickey wasn’t giggling now. 

 

“Oh, god, Ian, if you, if you’re gonna…then I’m gonna,” Mickey was getting less articulate by the second and was fighting not to thrust up into Ian’s warm mouth. 

 

“Mmmm?” Ian mumbled, the vibrations causing Mickey to arch his back up off the mattress but still keeping his hips down.  Ian took Mickey in deeper, letting go of the rose to rest on Mickey’s stomach while he used that free hand to stroke the rest of Mickey’s shaft and to cup his balls.

 

“Ian, Ian, I’m gonna come,” Mickey panted.

 

Ian just took him in even deeper.  Mickey gave in, and let go, tugging on Ian’s hair as he released into Ian’s mouth.  Ian kept sucking and swallowing all through Mickey’s orgasm, and finally Mickey was done. 

 

“Come here, let me kiss you,” Mickey murmured happily, gently pulling on the sides of Ian’s head.  Ian laughed and removed the rose and lay atop of Mickey and they exchanged a salty kiss, the taste of Mickey still in Ian’s mouth.  Ian pulled back a little, sighed at Mickey, and then rested his head on Mickey’s chest, being mindful to not have too much of his weight pushing down on Mickey.

 

“You’re tired, Fire Crotch,” Mickey said, his mouth pressed to Ian’s hair.  “Why don’t you let me take care of you now, and then we’ll get some sleep?” 

 

“Naw, just give me a minute, I want to be inside you,” Ian said.  Mickey huffed out a little pleased laugh and started rubbing Ian’s back gently. 

 

“What did you mean when you said you learned ‘another’ secret about me?” Mickey said quietly.  He could feel Ian’s smile against his chest.  Ian moved his head and rested his chin on Mickey’s sternum, looking him in the eyes.

 

“Do you mind me knowing your secrets?” he asked, shyly.

 

“You were the only one to know my biggest secret for the longest time-I know I can trust you,” Mickey smiled. 

 

Ian let out a big happy sigh.  “It’s just a lot of little things,” he began.  “Like, how you like ketchup on your burgers, but not your fries.  How you sing to Yevgeny when no one’s around, and you think I’m asleep,” Ian’s eyes crinkled into a smile at the look on Mickey’s face.  “You didn’t think I knew about that, did ya?” Ian crowed, albeit quietly.  “How you always, always wait for me and Yev to fall asleep before you will.  How you want me to come first, every time we…”  Ian knew Mickey knew what he meant, even though he tried to scoff and look away on that one.  “How me doing this,” Ian reached up and swiped his thumb over Mickey’s ear, “makes your dick twitch…” he smiled as he felt the expected reaction against his own stomach, and then pulled himself up more to kiss Mickey softly. 

 

“Yeah, well, do you know this?” Mickey said, his eyes crossing looking into Ian’s, when Ian kept his face so close to Mickey’s, waiting to learn another secret.  “That the two moles under your left butt cheek showing when you wear your dance shorts both please me and piss me off cuz I don’t want to share those?”  Mickey reached down and placed two of his fingers right on the moles without having to look.  “You have another mole up here, too,” Mickey added, bringing his right hand up and putting a fingertip on his back right on that without looking as well.  They smiled at each other.

 

“You’ve got me all mapped out, huh?” Ian said.  He rolled off of Mickey and onto his back.  Mickey pushed himself up on his side, holding his head up on his hand, his arm bent and his elbow resting on the pillow. 

 

“Of course I do,” Mickey said softly, lightly rubbing up and down Ian’s torso with the back of his hand. 

 

“You trying to tickle me?” Ian yawned.

 

“Believe me, if I was trying, you’d know it,” Mickey grinned.  “Just like touching you, that’s all.”

 

Ian looked down at himself, at Mickey’s hand trailing up and down.  “I’m skinnier now, did you notice?”

 

Mickey nodded, slowly, not sure where this was going.  Of course he noticed Ian was skinnier than before, he noticed that the first minute he saw him again, didn’t take seeing him naked to see that. 

 

“I...I used to work out a lot more,” Ian said quietly, feeling along the bottom of his rib cage absentmindedly on the side Mickey wasn’t running his hand along.  “I think,” he swallowed, and started again, his voice a little steadier, “I think that was part of being unmedicated.  I was sort of compulsive about it.  Like, I’d have to do two hundred push-ups a day, a hundred sit ups, an exact number of pull ups.  And if I got interrupted and had to start over, I’d have to hit the exact number from the very beginning again-I couldn’t just shut off my brain and think ‘close enough’, I’d start all over again from zero, no matter how late it was or how tired I was.  And running, once I got going, I had to run six miles, or eight.  I couldn’t just let myself turn around and go home if it was cold or raining or if I pulled anything and was hurting.” 

 

Mickey didn’t know what to say.  He always thought Ian pushed himself back in the day, but he thought it was of his own free will.  He was seeing now it wasn’t. 

 

“So, anyway,” Ian said, “now the meds help with all that.  If I get interrupted, or start hurting, I can stop.”

 

“Good,” Mickey said, giving Ian a little smile and bringing his hand to a rest on Ian’s chest, feeling his heartbeat.  It was a little fast, but nothing alarming. 

 

“Plus I don’t do it every day-as a matter of fact, I haven’t worked out in a while, between the two jobs there’s not a lot of time.  I just basically try to get a run in at least every other day.”

 

Mickey nodded.

 

“I’m not as buff as I used to be…” Ian said, squinting a little.

 

“You were getting to be too much beefcake for me to handle anyway,” Mickey grinned.  Ian turned his head and beamed a smile at him. 

 

“Oh yeah?” Ian said.

 

“Yeah,” Mickey nodded.  “You’re still hot as fuck, even if you are so skinny now.”

 

“’So skinny’?” Ian said, his eyebrows going up.

 

“Well, yeah, a stiff breeze could blow you away, but that’s okay, just hang on to me next time one comes by,” Mickey said, jutting his chin out and licking along his lower lip. 

 

Ian rolled over so he was on top of Mickey again, pushing Mickey down on his back, looking down at him.  “Oh, really?  You want me to hang on to you?  Like this?”  He grasped both of Mickey’s wrists and pinned them up above his head. 

 

Mickey laughed and then got a serious look in his blue eyes.

 

“What?” Ian asked.

 

“Your lips are as red as that rose was,” Mickey said thickly. 

 

Ian lowered his head to let his lips meet Mickey’s.  “Yours are just as soft,” Ian said, keeping his lips so close to Mickey’s that he felt as well as heard the words.  Ian started to gently undulate against Mickey, working up erections for both of them just with the contact.  Mickey was helping too, lifting his hips up to meet Ian’s motions.  Ian grabbed for the lube on the bedside stand, popping the cap with his thumb while he continued to hold himself up, kiss Mickey, and roll against him.  Mickey silently blessed Ian’s coordination, and next thing he knew he felt one of Ian’s long fingers working its way inside him.  He kissed Ian even more deeply, murmuring a hum of appreciation.  Ian added another finger, then another.  Finally he broke the kiss to find a condom in the drawer of the night stand, fishing it out with his lubed fingers but managing somehow. 

 

“Let me,” Mickey breathed, taking the condom from Ian with one hand and bringing it in between their chests so he could open it.  He got it open and Ian pushed up off of Mickey and held himself over him with both arms out almost straight.  Mickey tugged on Ian’s cock a few times to get it as hard as he could and then rolled the condom on.  They were both watching Mickey’s hands with matching smiles, if they had only known it.  As soon as it was rolled all the way up, Ian lowered his hips and resumed his gentle rocking against Mickey, who had planted his feet flat on the mattress and had his knees bent and his butt lifted slightly off the bed.  They were both making soft little sounds, Mickey gasping as Ian finally entered him, still so slowly and so gently.  Ian was looking at Mickey, and when Mickey nodded to let Ian know he could start moving again, Ian kept his eyes locked on Mickey’s.  This was the most gentle Mickey could ever remember them doing this.  He didn’t know if it was just because Ian was so tired or if it was something more.  The way Ian was staring into his eyes sure made it feel like something more.  Mickey wasn’t sure if he could take it.  But he was tough, and if he had to somehow take it when Ian was making everything feel so good and intense, he supposed he’d find a way.

 

Ian was looking so deeply into Mickey’s eyes, and not breaking contact.  It did get to be a bit too much for Mickey, so he lifted his head and kissed Ian.  Ian softly reciprocated, but then broke the kiss and put his forehead on Mickey’s, looking into his eyes yet again.  He almost seemed like he was going to say something, and sure enough, he started, but then changed it to more of a moan.

 

“Mickey, I…ah, aaaah.”

 

Mickey wasn’t sure if he needed to say something back, but he replied, “Ian, yeah,” all breathless.  Then all was quiet again except for the sound of their matched breathing and soft little sounds of pleasure.

 

Mickey removed his right hand from Ian’s shoulder and lowered it to his own cock.  Ian took his own left hand off the mattress and placed it over Mickey’s, wrapping it around Mickey’s hand and following Mickey’s motion as he stroked himself.  Mickey’s breath hitched, this was something new for them, and it was hot.  Ian’s hips were picking up speed, matching Mickey’s strokes, but it was still such a gentle pushing and pulling, in and out, and then Ian changed his position ever so slightly and hit Mickey’s prostate and Mickey groaned and bit down on his lower lip and had to close his eyes, just for a second, and Ian kept hitting that spot over and over with his gentle thrusts and Mickey was coming again, hot liquid spilling over his and Ian’s still joined hands, and Ian kept pushing and pushing into Mickey as his climax neared and finally took over, his hips losing their steady rhythm and finally Ian was altogether spent, and he pulled out of Mickey and Mickey lowered his legs and Ian sort of rolled over Mickey’s side and reached for him and pulled him flush to his body and wrapped his arms around Mickey’s waist and just held him there, pressed up against him.   

 

Before either of them could work up the strength to attempt saying anything, they were both fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some romance, I think they needed some. The significance of the fifteen roses is that's how old Ian was their first time and it's a nod to Mickey telling him that's what his hair reminded him of when he got his first look at the teen (and fell for him so hard, let's face it!). And Ian opened up, just a little, about something that's changed since his medication. I think that's a good sign, don't you?


	7. I'll Do Anything You Want Me To I'll Do Anything At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Into each life a little pain must fall.

Mickey had a bad tooth that had bothered him since the night he came out at the Alibi. The pain in it had been sporadic, but lately it was getting more persistent and stronger, so he finally caved and went to a dental clinic to have it checked out. He was told he needed a root canal and a crown, and although the price made him wince (he didn't qualify for dental insurance at either his part time job or due to his part time student status), he figured he'd pay just about anything at this point to stop the pain. 

Little did he know that pain was nothing compared to what was in store for him. 

The day of the root canal, the dentist gave him a shot of novacain and went off to do whatever it is dentists do while they're waiting for patients to get numb-probably check their stock portfolio online. After a few minutes, a dental assistant came in and prepped Mickey's mouth for the procedure with a dental dam and then went about checking the instruments tray and making sure everything was ready for the dentist. When the time was right, the dentist came in and started drilling. Mickey raised his right hand, as he had been instructed to do if he felt any discomfort. 

The dentist stilled the drill for a moment and said, "Yes? What is it?" in a bit of an impatient tone. 

Mickey tried to speak with his tongue trapped under the dam, "I don't think I'm numb yet, that really hurts." The dentist said they'd give it five more minutes and left the room again, but when he came back and resumed drilling, Mickey still felt the pain. He raised his hand again, repeated his message, but the dentist said he was sure by that time Mickey was numb.

"You're probably just reacting to the sound of the drill and the pressure you feel on your jaw, but I assure you, the novacain has had time to work," the dentist said, and resumed drilling. Mickey toughed it out for another fifteen minutes, but he had tears in his eyes and his toes were curling in pain. The dentist was getting more and more fed up, and told Mickey to stop squirming and to try to think of something other than the sound of the drill. Mickey flipped him off with his right hand this time-his brain had stopped hearing the drill minutes before, his whole world was just pain now. 

The assistant slipped out of the room and returned with another dentist, an older woman. She caught the dentist's eye and he stopped drilling. "May I help you?" he spat out sarcastically. 

"Jill came to get me to take a look at this patient, he seems to be under duress," the woman replied coolly. She wasn't about to tell this dick of a dentist off in front of others, but she could tell at a glance Mickey wasn't all right. "Jill, please remove the suction and the dental dam." Jill did as she was told, and the woman dentist angled the overhead light so she could see better. 

"Dr. Reynolds, please look in here and tell me what you see," she said, treating him like a first year student. The dentist huffed, but then saw the problem.

"Um, he's not numb at all," he said.

"No, no he's not. You know that old phrase 'I'd rather have a root canal without novacain?' That's exactly what you're subjecting Mr. Milkovich to," the doctor said, still calm and cool.

"Well, his nerves must be in the wrong place..." the dentist began. The woman doctor held up a hand to silence him.

"That's why we take x-rays, Dr. Reynolds-did you even look at them?" 

The long story short was they could numb Mickey up and finish this step of the procedure, or let him go home, wait for the swelling to go down, and continue on another day. The woman dentist said she'd be taking over the procedure, and that of course Mickey wouldn't be charged, for this step or the crown placement. Dr. Reynolds choked on hearing that, Mickey had the feeling that'd be coming out of his pay. 

Mickey opted to just get things over with that day. He was already hurting like hell, what was another half hour or so? The new doctor also assured him they'd give him a prescription for Vicodin to help with the pain once the novacain wore off, and that he just had to bring his receipt for that next time he came for the crown step, and they'd reimburse him for the painkillers as well. 

The end to the procedure went off without a hitch, he was numbed up for it and so finally didn't feel a thing. 

Mickey went to the nearest drugstore when he left, and had to wait for the prescription. He had taken the El to his dentist appointment that day-Mandy had asked to borrow the car so she and Lip could get out of the city and enjoy a day off, and he figured he'd probably be better off not driving if he had been in any slight discomfort himself. Now he was even more glad he hadn't driven himself, because "slight discomfort" was not what he was feeling as he waited for the prescription to be filled and the novacain wore off, but he was kicking himself he didn't ask Svetlana or Ian to drive him so he could just zip home now, but he hadn't wanted one of them to miss any work. 

By the time he got on the train, his mouth was killing him, but he didn't dare take any pills because it had been forever since he had screwed around with narcotics, and he didn't want to fall asleep and miss his stop. Every click of the train over the tracks was agony though.

He finally made it to his stop and dry-swallowed a pill. He contemplated taking two, but that's not what the bottle said to do and he found life just seemed to work out better when he actually followed orders nowadays. He got himself home, but he was really hurting by the time he got inside. Ian had arrived about an hour earlier, and he and Svetlana were cooking up something in the kitchen. 

"Hey, Mi..." the greeting died on Ian's lips. Mickey's face was all swollen on the left hand side. The tooth was a back molar and it looked like Mickey's face was ballooned up to twice its normal size by his jawline back there. Ian was by his side in an instant. 

"Holy shit, Mickey, are you okay?" he asked worriedly. Mickey nodded, wincing at the pain that slight motion caused, and waved him off. 

"Painkiller'll kick in any minute, I'm fine," Mickey said, barely opening his mouth. 

Yevgeny was already in his highchair, being fed by Iggy. He was straining to see his father though. "Daddy daddy daddy!" he yelled happily in way of greeting. 

"Hey, Tough Guy," Mickey smiled as best he could.

"Mickey, why don't you sit down, and I'll bring you something cold to put on your face," Ian said. 

Mickey sank down onto the couch gratefully. "Thanks," he muttered. 

Ian was striding to the fridge. "You want a beer or anything? Can you have anything? Want me to go someplace and get you a smoothie, or an icee?" Ian came back to the couch with a bag of frozen peas he was wrapping in a clean dishtowel. Mickey took it from him and placed it gently on his face.

"Naw, man, I'm good. They gave me some instructions," he lifted himself up a bit off the couch to pull the folded paper out of his back pocket, "I think for tonight I'll just take it easy. Maybe a smoothie in the morning though. You go eat." 

Ian nodded and went back to the kitchen. He knew Mickey wouldn't want him hovering. Mickey just sat still and let the Vicodin do its thing. After dinner Yev really wanted him to play, but Ian talked him into staying at the table with him, coloring. Yev loved to color, he'd take a coloring book page and cover it in wild scribbles all in one color, and then turn the page, select another color crayon, and repeat the process. He basically went through an entire coloring book every time they let him color, but he loved it and they'd all pick out a picture to tear out and put on the fridge. 

When Yev got tired of coloring, he wanted to be up on Mickey's lap. They tried that, but he kept trying to poke at Mickey's swollen face. Ian swooped him up and said he'd get Yev in his pjs and then they could watch some TV. 

"Turtles?" Yev asked, hopefully.

"Heroes on the half shell!" Ian sang, carrying him into the bedroom. He took his time changing Yev, talking to him in a crooning voice, trying to get him tired and in sleepy boy mode. It sort of worked till they were back in the living room, as soon as they sat on the couch, Yev was trying to squirm out of Ian's grasp and back onto Mickey's lap. When Ian told him they could only watch the Turtles if he sat on Ian's lap, he began to cry. Yev was just overtired, and seeing Mickey at less than his best had been trying for the little tyke. 

"Tell you what, Yev-how about, for tonight only, you and I sit on the floor to watch?" Ian said. 

"Floor, Een?" Yev asked, tilting his head and stopping to cry long enough to think. "Okay!" he said, his little face lighting up into a smile. Ian got off the couch and onto the floor with Yev still securely in his arms. They settled in, Ian's back against the couch and Yevgeny on his lap and Svetlana put the throw from the back of the couch over them and gave Yevgeny a kiss on the top of his head. She and Nika were on their way to the grocery store, Iggy had split as soon as supper was over to go find some harmless trouble to get into.

"You want anything from store?" Svetlana asked Mickey. He just waved her off. After the door closed behind the ladies, Mickey looked at Ian sleepily. Ian had the remote in his hand and was finding Nick Jr on demand. 

"How did you know to do that?" he asked Ian. Ian knew he wasn't talking about finding the cartoon. 

"Sometimes they're just happy if they think they're getting something special," Ian shrugged. "It worked all the time on Debs, Carl, and Liam-we were always making something out of nothing." Mickey nodded and yawned. "Hey," Ian said softly, "why don't you go to bed." 

"When the kid does," Mickey said. Ian nodded and Yev told him the show was starting. Everyone settled in to watch. 

Midway through the second episode, Yev was fast asleep in Ian's arms. Mickey stood up. "Okay, I guess I'll call it a night," he said. 

"Want me to put him down?" Ian said.

"No, you stay here, help put the groceries away when the girls get back," Mickey said. "We'll be fine." But when he reached down to take the sleeping boy from Ian's arms, even lifting that slight weight caused Mickey's jaw to pull funny and a rush of pain shot through his jaw. It subsided when he stood up straight though, so he continued on to the bedroom. He felt bad the night was turning out so dull for Ian, but neither of them planned on a romantic evening even if the root canal had gone normally. 

About an hour later, Mickey was thrashing and screaming and striking out, hitting and kicking at whoever it was that was trying to hold him down. He finally heard a voice through the dark fog. 

"Mickey, Mickey, it's okay, it's me, it's Ian-oof," that last let out on a breath as Mickey's fist made contact with Ian's stomach. The next thing Mickey was aware of was Yev crying, loudly. He finally stopped thrashing and looked around the fully lit room, panting and wondering exactly where he was when he stood up. Ian had a hand near his shoulder, but not on him, he knew not to get close till Mickey said it would be okay. 

Mickey finally asked, "What happened?"

"You were having a nightmare, Mickey," Ian said. Svetlana was holding the baby protectively, Nika was standing behind her with her hands on Svetlana’s shoulders.

"Yev...?" Mickey asked, confused but scared by the glare Svetlana was shooting at him.

"The baby's fine, Mickey, we didn't hurt him, he was just startled awake by the yelling," Ian said soothingly, and even in his confusion, Mickey's heart lurched with love at Ian trying to take some of the burden-"we" didn't hurt him. 

"More like screaming," Svetlana started.

"Yes, but he's quiet now, why don't you take Yev in with you guys for the night?" Ian said, trying to will Svetlana out of the room with his eyes and voice. 

"I gotta get out of here," Mickey said, pulling on his jeans from where he had let them fall next to the bed and stuffing his feet in his work boots without bothering with socks. "I need a smoke." He pushed past the women who were almost blocking the door-he didn't touch them, they scooted sideways to get out of his way when he got close. 

He was out on the front porch trying to take in deep breaths of the cold night air without opening his mouth too wide when Ian jointed him on the porch. He was carrying one of Mickey's jackets, digging a box of Marlboros out of the pocket. Mickey took the box from him and stuck a cigarette in his mouth, but when Ian went to light it, Mickey turned his head and motioned the lighter away. 

"Naw, man, can't smoke for seventy-two hours-I could get a dry socket or some shit," Mickey said. He looked at the front door of the house for a moment. Ian tried handing him the jacket, but Mickey ignored him. 

"Mickey...Mickey, Mickey, come on," Ian said. "Let's get away from here, so we can talk." 

Mickey let his gaze flick over Ian, and then took off down the stairs. Ian followed him, having a tough time keeping up despite his longer legs. Mickey didn't stop till they were in the empty lot near the overhead tracks. He kept shooting looks at the house. 

Ian finally caught him up. "Mick, it was just a dream, you're okay." 

Mickey was still breathing hard, and not from the fast walking. "You know?"

Ian nodded.

"Did I say anything?" Mickey asked.

"Just his name-a f-f-few times," Ian said, his big puppy eyes filled with concern. They were all Mickey felt like he could see in the weak ambient light from the few unbroken streetlights in the vicinity. Mickey knew Ian only stuttered when he was afraid of upsetting him. 

"Jesus, Ian. It seemed so real. It was Terry, he had a gun, he was going to kill me for real this time..." 

Ian looked up at the house looming next to them, and pulled Mickey out of its shadow, trying to get them into the light and away from the memories that haunted them both. 

"I haven't thought about the fucker since the night I told you about him being dead, isn't that weird?" Mickey said, looking at the ground now, and not at Ian. What he hadn't told Ian was that in his dream, Terry had walked in and shot Ian dead first. 

"It makes sense in a way, Mickey. You're drugged tonight, and in pain and tasting blood, your subconscious was free to bring up something that hurt..."

"It was that day," Mickey whispered. "That day he found us, and then called so they'd send Svetlana here..." They both looked at the house now. "How did you ever get out that day, anyway?" Mickey wanted to know-if he ever dreamt that day again, he wanted to know how Ian got out. 

"He just...told me I could leave," Ian said. "When it was done-he said, 'Get out' and I went. I'm pretty sure you had a concussion, I'm not surprised you don't remember. Um, what did you do…after? Do you remember?" 

“I crawled off to my room and passed out,” Mickey said.

Ian winced. “Jesus, Mickey, you could’ve died-the concussion could’ve killed you.”

“I wanted it to.” Mickey heard Ian’s sharp intake of breath. “I mean, then, right then, right after I had done that to Sss…and, when I thought about how it hurt you, and how I thought that after that day I could never see you again without putting your life in danger, that next time Terry would do something to ruin you forever so I couldn’t have you…” Mickey had to stop. He’d never discussed all this with anyone. His shrink knew the gist of how it all went down, where Yevgeny came from, but he hadn’t specifically talked about the “after” from that day with anyone.

Mickey looked at the unlit cigarette in his hand. "He fucked Svetlana too, that day," Mickey said, quietly. "I don't remember that either, but she told me about it after I started seeing my shrink, after he was dead. She said he paid her another hundred bucks to do him. She asked me if I wanted a paternity test..."

Ian went perfectly still next to him. Mickey looked at him. "D-d-did you?" Ian whispered. 

"No," Mickey said, definitely. "These are my mother's eyes," he said, waving his hand vaguely in front of his face, "and Yev's got them too. They have nothing whatsoever to do with Terry. I knew the kid was mine the first time I saw those eyes." 

Ian let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. Ian had loved Yevgeny from the start, finding out he wasn’t really Mickey’s at this late date wouldn’t make him love him any less, but he worried that it would’ve made a difference to Mickey.

“You’ve always loved him,” Mickey said quietly, almost as if he was reading Ian’s mind. “That’s the real reason I started to, as shitty as that makes me as a dad.” Ian started to protest, but Mickey kept talking. “And then, when you were…when you left, he’s the only thing that kept me going. So, I’ve always wanted to thank you for that, sort of, that even though you left, you left me caring about someone else.”

Ian didn’t know what to say. He hardly thought he deserved thanks after hurting Mickey and leaving him the way he had. So, he changed the subject.

"Mickey? You ever think about moving out of this house? Leave the ghosts here and be someplace else?"

Mickey shook his head. "Naw-just got the fucking thing paid for. Anything we could get for it would only mean moving into another shitty house. Might as well stay here, where we know what's shitty and what works in there." 

Ian nodded. He supposed that was true. This house had better water pressure than Fiona's, for one thing. "Yeah," Ian said, drawing out the word, looking at the house. 

Mickey was looking at Ian. Thinking about Ian and Yevgeny. A question slipped out before he could think maybe not to ask it.

“Do you ever think about having kids-do you want one of your own someday?”

Ian’s answer was immediate and emphatic. 

“Nooooo,” he said, shaking his head.

Mickey tilted his head and looked at Ian wistfully. “I know you wouldn’t wish your struggles on anyone, but they’re part of what made you what you are, the type of person you are, and that’s a very good thing,” Mickey said.

Ian just shrugged his shoulders and raised his eyebrows slightly and let them drop again, his mouth firmly closed in a flat line. Mickey knew that look, it was Ian’s “I’m not going to change my mind, even for you” look. 

Mickey tried to lighten the mood. “Don’t think I could take the thought of you banging some chick till you got her pregnant,” he joked slash said truthfully.

Ian began to grin. “Don’t think I could get it up with one anyway,” he replied, also truthfully. 

Still, Mickey thought to himself, he wouldn’t mind a little redhead running around. Oh well, not meant to be, he supposed. He shrugged too and dropped the subject. All his tiredness came rushing back over him, and his jaw ached. 

“I hope I can get back to sleep,” he murmured, just to break the silence. 

"Like I said, it was probably the drugs and the pain in your face giving you the bad dream," Ian said. 

"Speaking of the drugs, I think I can take another pill now," Mickey said. 

"I'm surprised you're not selling them," Ian said with a bit of a grin.

"The old me would've been tempted, believe me," Mickey said, giving Ian the big eyes. "But right now I need them too much for myself, plus I promised myself I wouldn't get busted for doing anything stupid." 

They slowly walked back to the house. Ian got Mickey a bottle of water and joined him in the bedroom so Mickey could take his pill. He swallowed it down with a grimace, and Ian noted how tired and wiped out he looked. 

“Hey, why don’t you take a shower? I bet it’ll help you feel better,” Ian said. 

“I honestly don’t think I’d last on my feet,” Mickey admitted. 

“A bath then, come on,” Ian said. Mickey nodded tiredly; he felt all grimy and could smell the dried sweat on him. It wasn’t a nice smell like after having sex, it was a sour smell of fear sweat. He got up off the edge of the bed and followed Ian into the bathroom. Ian was already running the water, pouring in some of Yevgeny’s lavender bath wash stuff. The label said it was for bedtime and it certainly helped Yev get calmer and go to sleep easier, Ian hoped it’d work on Mickey too. Ian crouched down and stirred the water around to make the bath wash foam up into bubbles, then he stood up and dried his hand on a towel, and reached for Mickey’s shirt. Mickey took a step back.

“The fuck are you doing?” Mickey asked.

“Helping,” Ian said.

“I don’t need your help getting undressed, or having a bath,” Mickey mumbled. The Vicodin still hadn’t kicked in yet, and he was too far from the bubble bath for that to have worked its soothing magic.

“I know you don’t need it,” Ian said softly, “but will you take it anyway?” He tilted his head and looked at Mickey, just waiting, not imploring with the puppy eyes or anything. He honestly didn’t know how Mickey would answer, but he’d respect his wishes and not push it if he refused his help. 

“Yeah, all right,” Mickey sighed. 

Ian gently pulled Mickey’s tank top up over his head, and then pulled down his pants and boxers. Mickey put a hand on Ian’s arm to steady himself as he got into the tub, and held on as he lowered himself to a sitting position. The warm water felt good. He closed his eyes. Ian got a clean facecloth and went to hand it to Mickey, and Mickey surprised him by leaning forward and asking, “You mind getting my back?” Ian grinned and knelt down next to the tub, getting the facecloth wet and gently rubbing it up and down Mickey’s back. Mickey let out another sigh and Ian worked the cloth up around Mickey’s neck and then brought it around and down his chest, and Mickey leaned back in the tub again and let him. Ian lifted Mickey’s arm that was closest to him and ran the cloth over and under it, being careful to apply enough pressure so as not to tickle him, then he reached around Mickey’s body and did the same for the other arm. 

Mickey took the cloth from him when he was done with that arm. He didn’t think Ian would try anything if he continued washing him any lower, but he didn’t trust his own body not to react to Ian’s touch. The last thing he needed with his sore face was blue balls. Ian just rested back on his haunches and kept his dripping hands hanging over the side of the tub. 

“You want me to wash your hair?” he asked Mickey quietly. Mickey hesitated for just the briefest second, then nodded. Ian stood up and got the attachment they had for the faucet for washing Yevgeny’s hair-it was a hose shaped like an elephant’s trunk, and the part that fitted over the spigot was the elephant’s face. 

Ian got the water running and made sure it was warm, and then gently wetted Mickey’s hair, being careful not to let it run into his face. Mickey kept his head tilted back to help. Ian got some shampoo into the palm of his hand and worked it into Mickey’s hair, not jostling him a bit. Mickey shut his eyes and enjoyed the relaxing feeling of Ian’s strong fingers working the shampoo down to the roots. Ian rinsed out the shampoo and asked, “Again?” but Mickey shook his head.

“Once is good enough for tonight,” he said. “I’ll skip conditioner too.” 

Ian nodded and stood up. “Okay to unplug this?” he asked, indicating the stopper. Mickey said yeah and Ian let the water start draining out of the tub. He helped Mickey stand up and then took the elephant hose and rinsed any remaining bubble bath off Mickey, and then let Mickey grab onto his arm to step out of the tub. Ian detached the hose and shut off the water while Mickey wrapped a towel around his waist.

“I’m just gonna dry my hair a bit, don’t want to get my pillow soaked,” Mickey said, and Ian nodded and left the bathroom. 

After a few minutes, Mickey walked into the bedroom. He glanced at Ian, who was back in bed, lying on his back looking at the ceiling. Mickey went to his bureau and pulled out a pair of clean boxers. Ian had stripped down to just boxers, so Mickey didn’t bother putting a top on either. He let his towel drop and pulled on the shorts, letting his gaze go back to Ian as he did so. He noticed how Ian was laying pretty much smack in the middle of the bed, but Mickey realized that was over further than where he usually was. They both always seemed to wind up on “Mickey’s” side of the bed, sharing the same space. Mickey figured Ian was giving him more room tonight because of what had happened earlier, and he was right. Ian’s thought was to let Mickey have some breathing room, maybe he wouldn’t feel trapped with some extra space. 

Mickey shut off the overhead light and got into bed, but crawled over Ian’s body and was going to lie down on the other side of Ian, something he had never done before in this bed. 

“What are you doing?” Ian asked, giving him a puzzled look.

“Need to stay off the left side of my face,” Mickey said. Although the Vicodin was working right now and Mickey wasn’t in pain, he didn’t think it’d be a good idea to put pressure on his left cheek by sleeping on it. Ian moved his left arm so Mickey could snuggle into Ian’s body, since that’s what he was attempting to do. Mickey placed the right side of his face on Ian’s chest and put his arm around Ian’s waist. “Okay if I sleep here?” His voice sounded tired and small, he was honestly asking if it was okay to stay like that.

Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey, and spoke into Mickey’s hair, which was all nice and soft without any product in it. “Course you can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Mickey's dental experience is based on something that really happened to me-but the dentist didn't not charge me. Years later when I went to a different dentist, I told him that "nerves are in the wrong place" comment and he said they can be in different places for everyone, that's one of the reasons they take x-rays. 
> 
> Anyway, Mickey's guard being down gave him and Ian a chance to talk, even if it was just briefly, and then it was an excuse for me to write about Ian giving Mickey a bath. I wanted to give Ian a reason and opportunity to do something nice and loving for Mickey. Mickey deserves a bit of pampering, but I bet the only way he'd ever accept it would be when he's too worn out to insist he doesn't need it.


	8. I Could Walk Away From Anyone I Ever Knew But I Can't Walk Away From You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some milestones are celebrated, some good times are had.

It was early spring, and for once even the Chicago climate was lining up with the calendar. Some early springs had snowstorms and freezing Canadian winds blowing, but this year the sun was shining and shoots of plants were popping up and the trees and lawns, where there were any, were turning green. 

 

Soon it would be Yevgeny’s birthday, and Mickey and Svetlana were going to throw him a little party. They were even daring to think it could be the first cook out of the year, the weather was enticing.  They decided they could always change it to an indoor pizza party at the last minute if they had to, and decided to go ahead and plan a party.

 

For Mickey’s birthday back in March, they just had had a quiet celebration. Privately Ian had given Mickey a small wrapped rectangular box.  Mickey cocked an eyebrow at Ian when he handed it over, and Ian had given him one of his eager, close-mouthed grins.  Mickey tore off the wrapping paper and opened the box-a ticket to a White Sox game was sitting on top of the piece of cushioning cotton in there.  Ian had gotten the box from Debbie, it had originally held a necklace Fiona had given her one Christmas. 

 

“A ticket to Comiskey?” Mickey said-he could never bring himself to call the place US Cellular Field. “What happened to just sneaking in?”

 

“Figured you’re not a teenager anymore, you have to leave your juvenile delinquent behavior in the past, Mick,” Ian said, mock-seriously. “I’m sorry they’re not in a better section…”

 

Mickey looked at the ticket more closely. It wasn’t in the bleachers, so he figured it wouldn’t be too bad.  Then he noticed the row and seat numbers.  “Row 20, seat 20, huh?” he smiled.  “I see what you did there.” 

 

“There’s another ticket underneath the cotton, too,” Ian said. “So, uh, you know, in case you wanted to bring someone?” 

 

Mickey laughed and fished out the other ticket-Row 20, seat 21.

 

“Would you be my date to the game, Ian?” he asked, still smiling.

 

“You sure you don’t want to take someone else?” Ian smiled back.

 

“Very sure.”

 

“Okay! And, I already had Svetlana block out that day to watch Yevgeny-unless you want to bring him too?  Kids that are shorter than the turnstiles get in free.”  The game was on a Sunday afternoon in April against the Indians.

 

“I think he’s still too young, he’d get bored too fast. We’ll take him to his first game when he’s old enough to remember it,” Mickey said.  Ian got a strange look on his face, like a cloud passing behind his eyes or something, but it was gone so quickly that Mickey thought maybe he imagined it.  Ian was smiling brightly again, glad that Mickey seemed excited about the gift. 

 

Svetlana and Nika gave him his present that night after dinner. They had made Mickey a cake from a mix, and Yevgeny had decorated it-they let him squeeze a tube of red frosting all over the top.  Svetlana and Ian lit the twenty candles and everyone sang to Mickey, and Mickey had Yevgeny help him blow out the candles.  That was so much fun Yev wanted to do it again, so Ian lit up a few of the candles again, they sang again, and Yev blew them out all by himself. 

 

After dessert, Svetlana gave Mickey his present from her and Nika, a stack of three big boxes of condoms tied up with a thick silky ribbon and bow. It actually looked quite fancy.

 

Mickey raised his eyebrows at Svetlana. “Just the brand and size we use-you been going through my nightstand?” Mickey asked, a teasing tone to his voice.

 

“Please-you two leave wrappers everywhere. In trash bins, in couch cushions-I don’t even want to know how one wound up on top of fridge,” Svetlana said.

 

Ian and Mickey looked at each other, and quickly looked away. Svetlana and Nika really didn’t want to know.  That had happened one night when they got home from the Fairy Tail.   Mickey was looking for a midnight snack, and the sight of him hanging onto the refrigerator door, bent over and the light from inside the only illumination in the room drove Ian into a lustful frenzy and he got a condom out of his wallet, plus his and Mickey’s pants pulled down all seemingly in one motion, and the wrapper had gone flying as he worked Mickey open and got the condom rolled on in record time.  Mickey had held on to the open refrigerator door during the whole experience, and it was just dumb good luck that when he came it all landed on the floor in front of him and not inside the appliance. 

 

Now it was a little over a month later, and time for Yevgeny’s second birthday. Mickey and Ian had gone to their Sox game earlier in the month and had a great time eating hot dogs and peanuts and sharing a soft pretzel. 

 

Mickey and Ian were discussing the party with Svetlana and Nika and Iggy. Svetlana told Mickey he and Ian could go to the party store and get plates and napkins and whatever other birthday “crap” they felt was necessary.  Svetlana wasn’t too interested in adapting to American customs, but she didn’t want her son missing out either.  She figured the guys would do a better job picking out what they needed for a proper toddler birthday party. 

 

“How many plates and things will we need?” Ian asked. Mickey and Svetlana just gave him a blank look.  “How many guests are we inviting?” Ian tried again.

 

“Well, there’s us,” Mickey said, pointing around the dining room table where they all sat-Yevgeny was having a nap. “And Yev, and Mandy and Lip…” he guessed that was about it.

 

“Why not invite other Gallaghers too,” Svetlana said. Mickey and Ian looked at each other. 

 

“Uh, why?” Ian said.

 

“Almost half of you will be here anyway, why not invite the others?” Svetlana shrugged.

 

Mickey and Ian looked at each other again. Each one was wishing they knew how the other one honestly felt.  Neither of them minded having the rest of Ian’s family there, unless the other one didn’t want them, for some reason. 

 

Mickey finally shrugged, not being able to read whatever Ian might have been trying to say with his eyes. “Your sisters both love little kids, Liam still is a little kid, it might be fun for them,” Mickey said.

 

Ian let out a sigh and nodded. “That’s true, and Carl might only show up to eat, but free burgers are free burgers.  And, like Svetlana said, Lip and I will be here anyway…” 

 

“It is settled then. Ask all Gallaghers-except Frank,” Svetlana said.  “And Kevin and Vee too.  Their girls can play with Yevgeny.”

 

“Didn’t Kevin have another baby with his mother-in-law?” Mickey asked. Ian nodded.  “What ever happened there?”

 

Ian shrugged. “I don’t know, they never talk about it.”

 

While they were driving to the party store, Mickey made sure Ian really didn’t mind if the rest of his family came, while Ian wanted to find out how Mickey really felt.

 

“I’m fine with it,” Mickey said. “Just be sure to tell them not to feel like they gotta bring a present.  I don’t want them to feel obligated.”

 

“Yeah, I figure Fiona will probably insist, but she can just go in on the present Mandy and Lip and I are already getting together, if she wants.” Ian said. Mickey wanted to know what they had planned for the little guy, but he figured he could be patient and find out when Yev did.  What did one get a two year old?  He had his trucks and his stuffed bunny and his Raggedy “Een”.  Mickey wanted to get him something sort of special, but the kid was pretty much set with his favorite toys and books.  Coloring books and crayons didn’t seem special enough, although he did always need more of those.  Another thing had been on Mickey’s mind lately too, but he didn’t think it’d make a very fun present.

 

“Hey, Ian, do you know anything about potty training?” Mickey asked, his eyes still on the road as he drove.

 

Ian tilted his head. “Not much.  I was always at school or at the Kash and Grab when Liam was doing that-I put him on the pot and got him cleaned up afterwards a time or two, but that was about the extent of my involvement-and Fi handled it when it Debbie and Carl learned.  Why?  You think it’s time Yevgeny started?” 

 

Mickey shrugged. “I’ve been reading about it online.  Most experts seem to agree kids are ready anytime between eighteen months and three years old.  And it said first kids are sometimes later, and boys usually take to it later than girls, and that most kids aren’t usually ready till they’re around two…I tried talking to Svetlana about it, but she went all weird.  I guess she wants to keep him a baby as long as possible.  I mean, I know we all have to be consistent when we do start training him, but the babysitter we use brought it up already too.  Not to push us into starting, but she just mentioned it might be time to start thinking about it.  She pointed out how Yev can go all morning and then all afternoon without needing a diaper change.” 

 

“You should talk to Fiona about it, if she comes,” Ian said. “She trained all of us, pretty much.  She had a little help with Liam, but I bet the rest of us were all her.” 

 

At the party store, they found the aisle with the themed plates and hats and napkins.

 

“We’re not getting Raggedy Ann and Andy,” Ian said emphatically, when he saw a bunch of that party ware on a shelf.”

“We’re not getting fire trucks either,” Mickey shot right back.

“No one’s asking you to.” 

 

They just stood in the middle of the aisle for a moment, a bit overwhelmed at all the other possible choices. A song started playing on the store’s system, and Mickey groaned, “Oh no,” when he realized what it was.

 

“Oh yeah,” Ian said, snapping his fingers to the beat and starting to bop his head up and down. When the singer started, Ian really got into it. 

 

“Oh, Mickey you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey! Hey Mickey!”  Ian started dancing all around Mickey, using his best moves learned for his night job.  Mickey closed his eyes and tried to astral project himself anywhere but here. Ian started bumping him with his hip to get him to open his eyes and watch.  Ian was doing his best body rolls, and kept grinding up against Mickey.  He did an absolutely filthy hand gesture to the lyric “you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand” and Mickey just had to laugh. 

 

Ian wouldn’t stop. He was gyrating his hips and dancing all around Mickey again, and they were drawing a crowd.  Mickey was quietly begging Ian to stop, but he was having too much fun.  When the song got to the line “anyway you want to do it I’ll take it like a man” Ian stuck his butt right into Mickey’s crotch and wiggled.  Mickey shook his head but had to laugh.  When the song ended, all the women that had gathered around to watch burst into applause, and a definite grandmother type asked Ian if he had a card and if he was available for parties. 

 

“All right, let’s go, Elvis,” Mickey said, grabbing some Big Bird plates and napkins and hats and blowers off the shelf and walking away rapidly. Ian caught him up and took some of the supplies from Mickey. 

 

“I’m sorry, Mick, but that song is just made for body rolls,” Ian smiled. “Didn’t you enjoy it at all?”

 

“Fuck yeah,” Mickey growled. “Just wait till I get you home.” 

 

Next time Ian was at Fiona’s, he asked his siblings if they’d like to go to Yev’s party. They all said yes, even Carl, when Ian made the “free burgers” argument. 

 

“What can we bring?” Fiona asked.

 

“Just yourselves-I asked Svetlana and Mickey and they insisted you’re guests, you don’t have to bring anything,” Ian said.

 

“Ian, we’re not showing up empty handed,” Fiona said.

 

“Well, I’m sure you can bring your own drinks, if you want. I know Lip and Mandy will bring beer…”

 

“Okay, BYOB, but what about for the party,” Fiona wasn’t going to let this go. “Should I make something?  Bean dip or brownies or something?”

 

“I’m pretty sure Svetlana has the menu all planned,” Ian said. “And there’ll be cake for dessert.”

 

“How about ice cream?” Debbie said.

“Great idea, Debs,” Fiona said.  “Tell them we’ll bring the ice cream,” she said, turning to Ian. 

 

“Okay, okay,” Ian said. He knew there’d be no peace till Fi was allowed to contribute something.  She and Debbie and Carl all wanted to give money towards the gift too, which was nice of them, considering they didn’t even know Yevgeny. 

 

Ian understood Fiona’s desire to pay her own way, he was the same about staying at all three of the houses he split his time between these days. Of course Fiona let him pay towards household expenses, and at Caleb’s he insisted on giving them fifty dollars a week when he became a regular there.  Caleb and his family tried to decline his offer, but he said he’d be using electricity and hot water and food, and that if they wouldn’t let him pay his expenses, he wouldn’t feel comfortable staying there.  Caleb’s mother shrugged and said to let him pitch in if he wanted to, her sons and nephew gave her a check every month and Ian could too. 

 

Mickey and Svetlana were a different story altogether. Mickey actually got pissed off when Ian told him he wanted to contribute to the household expenses, and his “threat” of not staying there got him nowhere.  Mickey was as stubborn as they came.  And even Svetlana didn’t want his money. 

 

“Save up for a rainy day,” she told him. “We’re good.” 

 

So Ian found other ways to contribute. He did the laundry, pitched in with keeping the house clean, bought groceries and made lots of meals for everyone, kept supplies stocked when things were running low.  Anything that was getting used up was always magically replaced before anyone else had to run out and buy it.  Ian was like a house elf.  One time he tried to give Svetlana and Nika a bottle of Purity Vodka because the guy at the liquor store told him it had been voted best vodka for five years in a row, but when Ian tried to hand it to Svetlana she said, “Swedish vodka is for pussies.”  Ian murmured an apology and started to bring the bottle back towards his body but she snatched the bottle from him.  “We’ll drink it, but it’s for pussies.”  After that, Ian just quietly replaced the cheap rotgut Russian vodka Svetlana and Nika preferred whenever their open bottle got down to about a third full. 

 

The day of the party dawned sunny and bright. It was going to be a perfect warm spring day.  Ian had slept at Mickey’s after getting off work at the Fairy Tail the night before, and they actually did just sleep when they got there in the wee hours of Saturday morning.  Yev was sleeping in Mickey’s room and they wanted him well rested for his party, and Mickey wanted Ian to get as much sleep as possible too. 

 

People were expected around two in the afternoon, since that was still about the time Yevgeny woke up from his after lunch nap. Mickey hoped Ian would sleep late, but he was the first one to awake with Yevgeny in the morning, telling him happy birthday and giving him two kisses and one to grow on.  Mickey stayed in bed, watching with a smile while Ian changed Yev’s diaper and then brought him over to the bed. 

 

“Tell dad to get up, we want birthday pancakes!” Ian said, swooping Yev down in a flying position to kiss Mickey’s face.

 

Mickey laughed and kissed his son. “All right, all right, I’m up,” Mickey said, knowing he’d never get his rambunctious boys back in bed till naptime. 

 

They went out to the kitchen where Svetlana had coffee ready, and Ian handed Yevgeny over to her and Nika to wish him a happy birthday before Nika went to get in the shower. With five adults in the house they all had to pick their spots on when to use the bathroom.  Iggy was still sleeping, and would probably sleep in till noon, so he wasn’t usually tripping anyone up.  Ian helped Mickey with the pancakes, Nika was back in time to cook a batch for herself, and they all had a fun time watching Yev feed himself the pancakes Svetlana cut into little pieces for him.  After breakfast, everybody put their dishes in the sink to soak, since they couldn’t run water if anyone was in the shower.  Ian went next, because he took quick showers, and he and Mickey traded places playing with Yevgeny when Ian got out.  Mickey went next, leaving Svetlana all the time she wanted-after she waited for more hot water to be ready in the water heater. 

Ian always kept half an ear out, and heard when Svetlana’s shower shut off, and unobtrusively got up and washed the dishes.  Mickey called out to him when he figured out what he was doing-Yevgeny had him distracted with the train on the floor, and Ian yelled back to keep playing with Yev, it was his birthday. 

 

Ian was back quickly, and Yev was pretty much done with the train for now.

 

Mickey gave him a quick bath that technically he probably should’ve had before he started playing with the train, he was pretty sticky from the syrup at breakfast. But Mickey knew the train would be magically cleaned before it got put away, so that was all right.  He brought Yevgeny back to the living room after his bath, and Yev was in a quiet, mellow mood now.  Ian put in one of the Sesame Street videos and sat on the couch, Yevgeny sitting up between the adults and Mickey absentmindedly playing with Ian’s hair as his arm rested on the back of the couch over Yev’s head.  Yevgeny curled into Ian and sang along in his little chirpy voice, and Ian was looking down and couldn’t take his eyes off Yev.  Mickey couldn’t take his eyes off Ian. 

 

For lunch, Ian whipped up some organic mac and cheese to tide Yevgeny over-all the grownups would eat at the cookout, but Yev’s little belly needed something, plus he’d only sleep after having some sort of lunch, that was his routine. When Svetlana took Yevgeny to put him down for his nap, Mickey told Ian he should go lie down for a while too.

 

“Are you kidding? I’ve gotta help decorate.  Mandy will be here any minute,” Ian replied.  Mandy, as Yevgeny’s only aunt, took her responsibilities very seriously.  She had gone to a dollar store and bought up a bunch of decorations, she was determined that Yev’s birthdays would be as festive and fun as none of the Milkovich kids’ birthdays ever were. 

 

“I can help Mandy with the decorations…” Mickey started, but Ian cut him off.

 

“You need me to hang stuff up high,” Ian said smugly.

 

“You’re three inches taller than me, although you do have arms as long as a giant,” Mickey said. “But if you insist, you can blow up balloons-I know you’re great at blowing.” 

 

Ian flicked a dish towel at Mickey’s ass. Mickey had been sure to get to Yevgeny’s lunch dishes first, but Ian had jumped in to dry them. 

 

Mandy and Lip walked in, arms full of bags.

 

“Mandy, he’s one kid…” Mickey began.

 

“Shush, you. This just looks like a lot because of all the stuff I had to bring you,” Mandy told her brother.

 

“All” the stuff Mickey asked her to bring was some wrapping paper, tape, and a bow for Yev’s present.   Lip had the bag that stuff was in, and he passed it over to Mickey without a word.  He knew Mandy was in a birthday celebration zone, he was just there to assist. 

 

Mickey had Yevgeny’s present in the hall closet, still in the Toys R Us bag, up on the shelf so Yev wouldn’t have caught sight of it by accident. He pulled the bag down and spread the supplies out on the living room floor-Mandy had already claimed the table. 

 

Ian was awaiting instructions from Mandy, but he couldn’t help but look over at Mickey and smile. Mickey was concentrating on cutting the wrapping paper, his tongue poking out the corner of his mouth and a slight scowl on his face as he made sure he was cutting straight.  Ian had been with Mickey the night he went shopping for Yevgeny.  Mickey didn’t know what he was looking for, he just hoped something would catch his eye at the toy store.  As far as Ian was concerned, Mickey found the perfect gift: a “Gazillion Bubbles” bubble machine that ran on batteries.  When Mickey picked it up off the shelf and showed it to Ian and said he bet the bubbles would make Yevgeny laugh, Ian just knew.  Ian loved how Mickey was always looking to give Yevgeny things that would make him laugh and be happy.  Ian knew what it was like to have that side of Mickey, and he was thrilled to share that part of Mickey with the little guy. 

 

Mickey had also got a gallon bottle of bubble liquid, but he didn’t bother wrapping that, plus he got a bunch of little individual bottles of bubbles with the little plastic wands inside so all the kids and some of the grownups, if they wanted to, would be able to blow their own bubbles to watch and chase around. He knew for a fact his big galoot of a redhead would be one of the grownups to do that, and he was looking forward to that almost as he was to seeing Yev’s reaction to the bubbles. 

 

The big people made quick work of setting up all of Mandy’s decorations. Some stuff would be brought outside later to make the tables out there festive, but most of the stuff was being set up in the living room where it’d be safe from the neighborhood.  In a short time there were balloons and baby blue and pale yellow streamers hanging everywhere, and a big Happy Birthday sign that took up the whole front door.

 

Yevgeny woke up right on schedule, and Svetlana and Nika got him dressed in a little t shirt and a pair of shorts and little black sneakers. His whole outfit was new, since he had outgrown all his warm weather clothes from last year. 

 

Svetlana told Yev it was time to go out and see all the people.

 

"People?" Yevgeny repeated, his brow furrowing in an exact copy of Mickey's scowl.

 

"Yes, the people who are coming for your birthday party-Aunt Mandy and all of Ian's brothers and sisters and Kevin and Vee and their little girls..." "Little girls?  Een's brothers?"   Yevgeny's social circle had never included so many categories, what was going on here?  He was worried. 

 

Svetlana picked him up off the changing table, but Yev was making little sounds of protest. 

 

"Here you go, Kukla" Nika said, handing Yev his "Een" doll.  Yev clutched it close and stopped squirming in Svetlana's grasp.  "He's always happier the closer he is to Een," Nika said, smiling at Yevgeny over Svetlana's shoulder.

 

"Just like his father," Svetlana observed drily. 

 

"Bunny?" Yev asked, just before Svetlana was going to carry him out of the room.  Nika grabbed Bunny from his crib and handed it to him on their way to the living room. 

 

Debbie, Fiona, Liam, and Carl had just arrived and were talking to Ian and Mickey.  Fi handed over a plastic bag with a couple of containers of ice cream in it to Mickey, Deb was holding a box of pink wine, and Carl had a couple of six packs of beer in his hands.  Mickey was telling Debbie and Carl to follow him so they could get stuff chilling, but Svetlana said, "I'll show them," and traded Yev for the bag of ice cream.  Nika followed the little group to the kitchen, and Fiona said hello to Yevgeny, who shyly snuggled into Mickey's shoulder but said a soft, "Hi," back. 

 

"You've really grown, little man.  I haven't seen you in a while," Fiona said.  Yev just looked at her with his big blue eyes.  The others returned from the kitchen and Svetlana stood on one side of Mickey-Ian was already on the other side. 

 

"You wanna say Hi to everybody?" Mickey asked Yevgeny. 

 

"Yevgeny, this is my sister Fiona, and my sister Debbie, and my brother Liam, and my brother Carl," Ian said, lightly putting a hand on each person as he said their name.  They all said Hi to Yev in turn.

 

"Bunny," Yev said, holding out Bunny for a second for everyone to see, then he stuck out his other arm holding the other toy and said, "Een."  Fiona's eyes lit up. 

 

"He calls the doll Een?" she said, giving her brother her biggest smile. 

 

"That's so sweet!" Debbie contributed.  Even Liam and Carl found it cute.  Especially how Yev introduced them like they were family.  Speaking of which...

 

"That kid really looks like he's yours," Carl observed, looking at the grownups standing around the baby.  "He's got Svetlana's hair color, Mickey's eyes, and Ian's nose."  It was true.  Mickey and Svetlana's noses both had a definite beak-like quality to them, but so far Yevgeny's nose was staying a cute turned up button, just like Ian's.  Mickey grinned happily at Ian, but Ian was looking down at his feet, digging the toe of one sneaker into the living room rug.  Mickey tried to give him a little side nudge, but Ian wouldn't look up. 

 

"Where did Mandy and Lip go?" Svetlana asked, not picking up on Ian's suddenly shy vibe.

 

"They wanted to take the car over to Fiona's.  I thought it was to pick everyone up, but these guys turned up on foot, so..." Mickey was answering, just as a car pulled up out front and beeped. 

 

"They were picking up Yevgeny's present," Debs said excitedly.  "They're here!"  All the Gallaghers, including Ian, made a break for the front door.  Mickey reached out and caught Ian's arm. 

 

"Why would they need the car to bring a two year old's present?" he asked. 

 

Ian beamed a smile at him.  "Because it's too big to carry." 

 

Mickey took a deep breath.  Between Ian and Mandy he couldn't keep his imagination from running wild.  They would stop at nothing to give the little guy everything and anything.  Mickey just hoped it wasn't a big dog or a pony or some other thing they'd have to feed and clean up after. 

 

Fiona got to the door first and opened it up, and everyone went out at least as far as the porch.  Kevin and Vee were walking up the sidewalk each carrying a twin. 

 

"Are we late?" Vee asked.  "Their nap ran a little late."

 

""Nope, Kev's just in time to help me with this," Lip answered, going around to the back of the car and popping the trunk.  Kev handed Gemma over to Fiona and joined Lip in the street.  Kevin reached into the trunk and pulled out a big wrapped box that was almost as wide as the car while Lip guided it so the paper wouldn't tear.  The box kept coming, Lip and Mandy had flipped the back seat down so the present would fit in the car.  When it was all the way out, Lip took the other end of it and the two men walked it up the stairs and into the house.  Mandy was already back inside with the rest of the group, and she was telling Yev that present was for him.

 

"Present?" Yev said, eying the big red bow on the middle of the box.  The wrapping paper was a cream-colored background with drawings of puppies all over.  "Mine?  Birfday present?" 

 

"Yup, your birthday present, Sweetie!" Mandy said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

 

"Open it!" Yevgeny squealed. 

 

All the grownups looked at Mickey expectantly.  They really couldn't wait to see Yev's reaction to his gift, but if Mickey and Svetlana wanted to wait till they had cake or whatever, well, it was their party. 

 

Mickey looked to Svetlana, but she didn't care, she still didn't get into all these American traditions.  Mickey shrugged.  "Yeah, let him open it, he won't sit still till he knows what it is, and it looks like most of you feel the same."  Mickey was pretty curious too. 

 

Kev and Lip gently lay the box down so Yev could rip into it.  It was a big flat square sitting on the floor, Mickey wondered if it might be a sandbox or something.  Mickey set his son down gently and Yev stared at the box. 

 

"Go ahead, open it," Mickey told him, taking Bunny and Een from him.  Ian crouched down and picked at a place on the side where the paper overlapped. 

 

"Here, Yevgeny.  Rip this off," Ian told him.  Yev got a good grip on the paper and started pulling, it tore with a satisfying sound.  When Yev couldn't get it to go any further, Ian told him to grab another part and keep going.  Yev got into it, and soon enough there was enough box showing that Mickey could see what it was. 

 

"A castle?  Really?"  He looked at his sister, his eyebrows raised in disbelief.  "Mandy, those things cost hundreds of dollars..."

 

"Oh, shush, I had a coupon and once everyone went in on it, it didn't cost any of us that much at all.  Besides, wouldn't you rather have one big thing from all of us instead of lots of little things from each of us?" Mandy said, not intimidated by those eyebrows in the least. 

 

"You have a point...but we what are we going to do with that?  In this neighborhood, even if we figured out a way to chain it to the house, someone would still steal it-they'd probably steal the chain too," Mickey said. 

 

"We'll put it in corner," Svetlana said, looking down at the box and delighted with the picture.  She thought it looked cute. 

 

"The corner of what?" Mickey asked, exasperated. 

 

"This room," Lip said, looking at the box, reading the dimensions.  "It's only about five feet by four feet by, uh, a little over five feet, when it's built.  And less than four feet high." 

 

Mickey just rolled his eyes and shook his head.  "Fine, a castle in the living room."

 

"Maybe we can get a dragon to live in your castle," Ian whispered loudly to Yevgeny, who giggled and clasped his hands together like he did when he was particularly happy.  Mickey melted at seeing that. 

 

After a little discussion, they decided that Nika would get the charcoal burning and heating up while the guests had dips and appetizers at the table set up outside, and Lip, Mickey, and Ian would put the castle together in the living room.  The two engineering students made quick work of deciphering the instructions and Ian's big hands were good for holding up pieces as they figured out what went where and how and when.  Ian was quiet and patient, he knew both of his coworkers well and knew sometimes they needed a minute or two to talk a step out to themselves and weren't looking for contributions or interruptions to their trains of thought.  Mickey liked working side by side with Ian and enjoyed how Ian would do what he asked the second he asked him to-it was a lot like being in bed.  Once that thought crossed Mickey's mind, he couldn't help but have a little smile on his face.  He also liked that they kept bumping together working on the kid sized castle-their arms and legs and hands kept touching. 

 

Finally it was built and placed in the corner and Lip took off to find Mandy and a beer.  Mickey and Ian crushed up the box and the wrapping paper and figured they'd try to jam it into the recycling bin later.  For now Mickey said they should just stow it in the bedroom to get it out of the way.  He picked up Bunny and Een from the couch, and Ian carried the compacted trash and they went into Mickey's room.  Mickey put the toys in the crib and Ian put the box on the floor and was about to walk out again, but Mickey lightly grabbed him by the waist.  Ian stopped and looked at Mickey.  Mickey gave him a soft kiss on the lips. 

 

"Thanks," Mickey said. 

 

Ian smiled.  "What for?" he said, searching Mickey's eyes. 

 

"For helping, for being here, for getting my son a ridiculous present and making me okay with it."

 

Ian laughed.  "Mandy could've made you okay with it too."

 

"It would've taken her longer, and it would've involved yelling," Mickey said.  "You made it...nice."  He tilted his head and looked up at Ian.  A pleased smile came over Ian's face. 

 

"Maybe tonight you can show me your gratitude."

 

"You read my mind-Yev's bunking in with the girls tonight," Mickey grinned. 

 

They joined the party out in the back yard.  Everyone was having a good time, munching on the fruit and veggie platters Svetlana and Nika and Ian had made, plus Ian had made a couple of cheese dips, one was hot and zippy with chili powder and the other batch was mild and plain for the kids.  Mickey loved the hot stuff, and scooped some up on a Tostito before he walked over to Nika and asked her if the grill was hot enough.  It was just a little round charcoal grill, any time they had tried to have a propane grill in the past, it had always gotten stolen within twenty four hours of putting it in the yard.  Mickey preferred cooking over charcoal anyway, there was a knack to it.  Any fool could cook over the even heat from a gas grill, charcoal cooking took skill. 

 

Ian set himself up as Mickey's assistant, and Mickey started cooking the hamburgers, cheese burgers, turkey burgers, and ranch burgers as people put in their requests.  Soon everyone had their burgers, plus potato salad and green salad that Nika and Svetlana had made.  People were sitting on the back steps and in lawn chairs and at the table they had set up outside.  Lip and Carl had carried out the coolers full of ice and beer and soda and bottled water, the party was going well.  Mickey had popped back over to the grill when he finished his burger and potato salad, all ready to cook up seconds for anyone who wanted some, and lots of them did.  He got through the second wave and was talking to Lip once there was a lull again. 

 

"Mickey, you want a beer?  I brought plenty," Lip offered. 

 

"Thanks, but no.  I don't drink it much anymore.  Svetlana's got me drinking organic soda these days."

 

Just as he said that, Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey from behind with a La Croix cola in his hand that he held against Mickey's chest.  Mickey put his hand up to take the soda and leaned into Ian's body as Ian let his arm slide down to Mickey's waist.  Lip was happy to see all of that.  Not only was Ian more relaxed and happy these days, but it wasn't all that long ago that Mickey would've stiffened up and pulled away from Ian's touch in public.  But Lip had to admit, ever since Ian's troubles came to light, Mickey never held back any affection he had for Ian, no matter who was around.  Lip could just see they made each other stronger.   

 

"She's even got him drinking Kombucha," Ian grinned at his brother. 

 

"It's good, some of it," Mickey said.  "Not as sweet as soda and some of it you even get a bit of a buzz off of-the fermented ones.  I hate that green algae one though, that shit's like sewer water."

 

"Or the stuff that grows in the pool in the fall," Ian agreed. 

 

"What's with the health kick?" Lip asked, taking a long pull off his beer.

 

Mickey shrugged.  "Well, you know, Svetlana wants the kid to grow up healthy.  And since Ian here should try to avoid some things with his meds, it just isn't as much fun to drink stuff by myself.  Although some days I still need some caffeine."  He popped open his soda and took a swallow.  "But, the stuff I used to drink to be numb from, I don't have bugging me anymore."  He left it at that-if the brothers wanted to think he was just talking about Terry that was fine by Mickey, but he also meant he didn't have to try to be numb to the fact that Ian wasn't in his life, since here he was. 

 

Lunch was over and everyone pitched in clearing things away, and then it was time for cake and ice cream and presents.  Once again, Yevgeny really loved the blowing out the candles part, and the kids had a lot of fun making a big mess of their cake and ice cream.  Everyone was having fun, Carl was even sticking around after the cake was done. 

 

Now it was time for the rest of Yev's presents.  Kev and Vee and the girls gave him a little outfit.  It was camo shorts in shades of muted blue, and a little muscle t shirt with a blue stripe across the chest that matched the medium shade of blue in the shorts that was going to compliment his eyes perfectly.  The sleeveless shirt looked very Mickey-like and Ian loved it. 

 

"So adorable, but you didn't have to!" Svetlana said when Yevgeny got the present open and held up the two items of clothing.

 

"Please, we had so much fun shopping in the boys' section-I never thought I'd get Kev out of there," Vee said.  "We found stuff for the girls there too, but we knew this outfit would suit Mickey's kid." 

 

Next Yev opened his present from Svetlana and Nika.  It was a Brio train set that would build onto the one Ian had given Yev at Christmas.  "Train!!!" Yevgeny shouted happily.  Ian looked over to Svetlana and she winked at him.  Ian felt warm and happy inside that she approved of his original idea this much and had expanded on it. 

 

Finally it was time for Mickey's present.  Yev was a pro by now at ripping open presents, so the bubble machine was unwrapped in a flash.  Mickey got the toy out of the box and got the batteries in and filled it with bubble liquid.  He turned it on and the three little kids and Liam were up and chasing the bubbles with happy squeals.  They were running through them, and trying to catch them, and having fun popping them.  After a while, Mickey brought out the individual bottles of bubbles and various grownups showed the little ones how to blow their own bubbles and that was fun too.  The yard was filled with pretty iridescent bubbles floating in the sunshine and happy voices and laughter. 

 

In the evening, after a second meal of burgers and salads, and after an afternoon of bubbles and the kids playing in the castle-they all loved the little built in slide-no one had gone home yet and the kids were all passed out asleep.  Mickey had Yevgeny sprawled on his back in his arms, Kev and Vee each had a twin, and even Liam was asleep on Lip's lap, his feet resting on Mandy. 

 

"Fiona, mind if I ask you about something?" Mickey said.

 

"What's up?" Fiona replied.

 

"Do you remember much about toilet training?"

 

Fiona grinned.  "Getting to be that age, huh?"  Mickey nodded.  Vee sat up a bit straighter to listen too, her kids weren't that much younger. 

 

"I've read some stuff online..." Mickey began.

 

"But he is still baby," Svetlana said, coming in from the kitchen where she had been putting the few leftovers away. 

 

"Right, but he is staying dry between diaper changes..." Mickey didn't want to argue with Svetlana, but some things are inevitable-the kid would start using a toilet at some point.

 

"Wow, really?" Vee said.  That's something she and Kevin would love to experience.  "Every time we change one of the girls, it's like a signal to the other one to load up her Huggies."

 

"These girls are constantly messing up their drawers, even if they just had a diaper change," Kev agreed.  "It's like they take a clean diaper as a personal challenge." 

 

Svetlana tilted her head and thought about that.  Maybe her Yevgeny was at an advanced stage...

 

"I read first borns might take to it later, and that boys are usually slower to start than girls," Mickey said to Fiona, "but the sitter pointed out he might be ready to start soon." 

 

"Yeah, he could be.  Every kid is different.  Debs was definitely ready as soon as she could walk.  She hated being in a messy diaper and would walk up to me and tell me when it was about to happen.  Carl didn't care, he'd go and hide to avoid diaper changes and sit in his stinky diapers for hours if he could get away with it," Fiona said.  "Liam too.  Not that he'd go hide, but he'd just put up with it till someone noticed and changed him."

 

"Do you remember with Lip, since in a way, he was the oldest?  At least the oldest you had to take care of," Vee asked, and Mickey was grateful.  He wanted to know too, but didn't have the balls to ask with Lip sitting right there.

 

"I remember Ian was potty trained before Lip," Fi said, smiling at the memory.

 

"I was?" "He was not!" the two brothers said simultaneously. 

 

"Oh yes he was," Fi laughed.  "In a rare parental moment, Frank brought home a little potty seat and showed Lip what it was for.  Lip wasn't interested in the least and just wanted to sit on it with the lid closed and use it for a TV chair.  That was when Lip was about two and a half.  When Ian was almost two and Lip was almost three, Frank tried again with Lip, and Ian was playing in the hall outside the bathroom and he seemed to get it, and when Frank and Lip left, he went in there and got his diaper pulled down and went in the potty, and then yelled until I came to see what was going on.  Pretty much from that day on, Ian knew to go on the potty." 

 

"What about me?" Lip said.

 

"Oh, please, you'd still have a woman wiping your ass if you could find one to do it for you," Fiona said and everyone laughed, Mandy hooting the loudest-she knew better than anyone how true that was.  "The only way we finally got you to do it was by telling you you couldn't go to school if you didn't use the toilet, which was true."

 

"So, wait, are you saying I wasn't toilet trained till I was FIVE?" Lip asked incredulously.

 

"No, four.  Preschool started for you at four," Fi said.  Then she said to Mickey, "So, every kid is different.  I'd say show him the basics, and then see what he seems ready for."  Mickey thanked her and then let the subject drop.  He had the feeling Svetlana would be more open to the idea now, he could tell by the way she was looking at Lip.  He turned out smart and all, but even she didn't want Yev to be in diapers till he was four. 

 

It was after nine by the time everyone left. Svetlana and Nika had put Yev to bed a little later than his normal eight o’clock bedtime, but people still lingered for a bit, finishing drinks and conversations.  Fi invited Mickey and Ian back to her house for a little after party-Vee was going to come over after helping Kev put the girls to bed and Lip and Mandy were going to stop in for a while, but Mickey and Ian declined.  Ian had the entire weekend off from Patsy’s, Fiona wanted him to have a real break for a change.  But Ian wanted to get to bed early anyway, he told his big sister with a goofy grin on his face.

 

“I bet you do,” she grinned back, hugging him tight. She was so happy he was happy. 

 

Everyone was finally gone, and the ladies had gone to bed, and Iggy had gone out for the night. Mickey and Ian were out back, stuffing the recyclables into the bin, and Mickey had a garbage bag of non-recyclables in his hand, picking up the last of the detritus in the yard. 

 

“This is different from the old days,” Mickey said. “A Milkovich party usually ended with red cups and bottles and roaches strewn all over the yard.” 

 

“You miss it?” Ian asked, mashing the pile in the recycling down and shutting the lid.

 

“Not a bit. I can’t imagine Yev having to grow up in that kind of mess.  Things are better now.” 

 

Ian nodded. He opened the trash bin for Mickey and Mickey slung the bag in there. 

 

“So, what do you want to do now?” Mickey murmured, walking up one step on the staircase to the backdoor and looking down a little to meet Ian’s eye.

 

“Still kind of early, relatively speaking,” Ian grinned. Mickey leaned in to kiss him, but Ian’s voice stopped him.  “How ‘bout a movie?”

 

Mickey almost lost balance on the step, and put his hands on Ian’s shoulders to stop his forward momentum from the almost-kiss.

 

“Uh, sure,” Mickey said, recovering and trying to think what Ian would want. “Do you mean on TV, or do you want to go to the movies…”

 

“Mick, I’m screwing with you. I want to do what I’ve wanted to do all day-get on you and hear you shout my name.” 

 

Mickey’s eyes got huge in the low light from the uncovered light bulb hanging near the backdoor. This time when he went to kiss Ian he didn’t stop, and they stumbled up the stairs together pulling each other and trying to get clothes off and they got through the door and Mickey just had enough presence of mind to twist the deadbolt lock and then they were in Mickey’s room, kissing and grabbing and already breathing hard and heavy.  They broke apart enough to get their shirts off, and then Mickey was tugging at Ian’s shorts, pulling them down along with his boxers and was thrilled to see Ian was already hard, his erection springing up over the waistband. 

“Eager, aren’t we?” Mickey smirked, his tongue going to the corner of his mouth and his chin jutting towards Ian.

 

“I am, are you ready?” Ian’s hands rubbed down Mickey’s arms, hard, and then he reached out, unbuckling Mickey’s belt and fumbling at his fly.

 

“Let me get it,” Mickey said, looking down and getting his hands under Ian’s. Ian let him get himself unfastened, but then he was pulling Mickey’s pants and boxers down and as Mickey was stepping out of them, Ian grabbed him by his upper arms and turned him around towards the bed. 

 

“Can I get my shoes off, please?” Mickey laughed. “You might wanna kick yours off too, Tough Guy.” 

 

Ian grunted in discomfort as he tried to bring his foot up high enough to reach his sneaker and he wound up folding his leg into his boner. He let his foot drop and kicked off his sneakers using his opposite feet, and then toed his socks off without bending.  Ian put his hands on Mickey’s shoulders and was kissing the back of his neck and urging him to the bed.  When they got there, Ian was gently but surely pushing Mickey forward, wanting him on his hands and knees on the bed.  Mickey looked over his shoulder at Ian.  “This is how we’re doing it?” he grinned. 

 

“It’s fastest,” Ian panted. He was ready, he wanted to be in Mickey NOW.  “Plus, it’s safer for you, you can pull away if you need to.”

 

Mickey barked out a laugh, but got into position. Ian found the lube in the stand next to the bed, and was working Mickey open with his fingers.  Mickey was rocking back onto Ian’s fingers.  “It’s good, Ian, it’s okay, get on in there.” Ian put one knee up on the bed, and got a condom rolled on.  He lubed up and then wiped his hand off best he could on the sheet by his knee, and placed his hands on Mickey’s shoulders.  Mickey always loved how gentle Ian started out with his fingers, but inevitably would wind up leaving his fingerprints imbedded in Mickey’s skin. 

 

Ian gently but surely worked his way in, rubbing a circle into Mickey’s shoulder with the thumb of his left hand, his right hand now down on Mickey’s hip to help him guide himself in. Mickey’s head dropped down as he got used to Ian filling him up.  Mickey took a deep breath, let it out, and then growled, “Go.”  Ian didn’t need to be told twice, he started pumping in and out of Mickey, watching his stiff cock pull out and be engulfed by Mickey’s perfect ass.  He was in no danger of getting mesmerized by the sight, though, Mickey was clenching around him and rocking back to meet his thrusts and all of Ian was completely aware of Mickey and the sensations he provided to Ian’s entire body. 

 

Ian bent over Mickey as far as he could and sprinkled kisses across his back and neck. Mickey was panting and letting Ian know what felt good and encouraging him to go even harder.  Ian grinned and complied, Mickey always could take it like a champ.  Ian reached around Mickey, and when his large warm hand wrapped around Mickey’s cock, Mickey really got loud. 

 

“Fuck! Ian, oh yeah, but I’m so close, if you’re gonna…” Mickey couldn’t speak for a second as Ian flicked his thumb over the tip of Mickey’s dick and smeared the pre-come around. 

 

“Come on, Mickey, come for me,” Ian panted right into his ear, thrusting ever harder, kissing down onto his shoulder.

 

“Christ, yeah, keep hitting it, right there,” Mickey said, feeling Ian against his prostate, feeling Ian’s hand on him where he was most sensitive, feeling Ian’s lips on him. Everywhere they were connected he felt sparks and heat and soft skin and lips.  Mickey felt like he was flying and floating and weightless.  His vision was going white around the edges, every thrust from Ian was bringing him closer to the edge.  “Ian, I’m coming, fuck…!” 

 

He could still hear Ian, but just barely, as if Ian were far away but actually he was right in his ear. “Yeah, Mickey, that’s it, let it all out.”  Mickey’s insides were clenching around Ian and Ian was coming too, pressed fully against Mickey now, his thrusts completely erratic, his hand still pumping Mickey for a moment or two after Mickey was spent.  Ian was breathing hard against Mickey’s back, willing his legs to hold him up long enough to pull out of Mickey gently when he was done.  Ian flopped down onto his back on the bed next to Mickey, and Mickey finally let his arms collapse from holding him up and looked over at Ian, his face half buried into the pillow, but his blue eye alight and staring at Ian.  Ian lazily reached over and pushed Mickey’s hair back, returning the beaming smile Mickey was giving him. 

 

Ian pushed himself further up the bed so his feet weren’t hanging off, and suddenly pulled Mickey on top of him by placing his hands under Mickey’s armpits and moving him over almost as if he was picking up Yev. Ian only brought the top half of Mickey over, and crushed his lips against Mickey’s as soon as he was close enough.  Again, by letting Mickey be on top, and not trapped under him, Ian was letting Mickey back off if he wanted to, but Mickey didn’t want to.  He kissed back just as hard, briefly wondering if it was possible for the two of them to bruise each other’s lips using just their own.  Right at this moment, he didn’t really care.  He moved his hips and got one of his legs over Ian, and then was bringing his hips down, grinding against Ian as they kissed. 

 

“You’re going to get me hard again,” Ian smiled against Mickey’s lips.

 

Mickey pulled back and looked down at Ian. “That’s what I’m going for-I hope you’ve got a round two in ya.” 

 

Ian smiled and nodded. Mickey kept looking down at him, a wisp of hair hanging over his forehead.  His hands had found Ian’s when he crawled over him, and now he threaded their fingers together.  Mickey was just about to lean in and kiss Ian some more, but Ian pulled his hands away and said, “Wait.” 

 

Mickey stopped. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for Ian to say or do something. 

 

“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen,” Ian said. Mickey smiled.

 

“You should see your own,” Mickey said.

 

“And…” Ian said, not about to be distracted, “you have the most gorgeous ass.” Ian took each of Mickey’s cheeks into his two hands and squeezed gently.  He marveled at how those perfect globes molded to his hands every time. 

 

Mickey wanted to say something nice back, but he was finding it hard to breathe and think again. He went in for a kiss instead, and this time Ian let him.  As usual, Mickey went for the kiss with his mouth wide open, and Ian met him in kind, their tongues flicking at each other as Mickey sealed their mouths together using pressure and motion to try to convey everything he still didn’t quite think Ian wanted to hear yet.  Ian wrapped one arm around Mickey’s waist and brought the other up to his neck, sliding it up even further and flicking his thumb over Mickey’s ear.  Mickey moaned and grinded his hips down into Ian again.  That thumb gently rubbing over the shell of his ear was a guaranteed pleasure, and they both knew it. 

 

They finally had to pull apart again to breathe, and Mickey moved himself back onto the bed next to Ian, sliding one hand between Ian’s body and the mattress and lifting his other hand to push Ian’s hair back and rub his neck and shoulder and just touch him anywhere in general. They were staring deep into each other’s eyes, not needing to talk, not even needing to fuck, not in this moment.  It was just enough to be close and to be connected wherever their hands lay.  They stayed like that for quite a while, building up strength again after going at it so good and hard. 

 

“I had a great day,” Ian finally said. “You gave Yevgeny the perfect birthday.”

 

“You helped-a lot,” Mickey said, sincerely. “And we had more fun because you were here.” 

 

Ian leaned in and kissed Mickey hard again, using his hands to get Mickey on his back. Ian put a leg over Mickey now, and started grinding against him.  After a moment, he swiped Mickey’s ear with his finger again, then took Mickey’s hand in his and guided it down between them.  Mickey got the hint and started stroking Ian.  Ian’s body was responding quickly.  Ian found the lube and got his fingers slick and back into Mickey, but Mickey didn’t need much prep, it had only been about half an hour since the last go.  Mickey reached out to the bed stand next to him and his hand found a condom.  He opened it up and got it rolled onto Ian as Ian held himself up over Mickey.  As soon as it was on, Ian got some lube on it and then looked at Mickey. 

 

“Ready?” Mickey nodded, and spread his legs as far as he could.  Ian held onto himself at the base of his cock and lined up against Mickey.  He started to push into Mickey’s warmth, murmuring Mickey’s name and compliments as he did so.  “Fuck, Mick, so good, you always feel so good…” 

 

Mickey was arching his back, watching Ian’s face, and holding on to his lover’s shoulders. Everything felt so incredible, so right.  Mickey was bucking up into Ian before Ian could even ask if Mickey was ready, and they went at it again.  This time was even better, Mickey thought, because they were face to face.  There were more points of contact, and they could kiss each other more easily.  Their lips were back to that bruising pressure, and Ian was pistoning in and out of Mickey.  Mickey wrapped one of his legs around Ian’s waist just to feel more of him.  Ian reached between them and was stroking Mickey in time with his thrusts, getting him to the edge again.  Mickey came first again, and just tried to hold on when he came back to earth while Ian pumped into him a few more times till he came too.  Mickey let his arms and leg drop off of Ian so Ian could pull away, he felt like everything inside him, blood and bone, had turned to melted butter.  Mickey felt all warm and smooth inside, all worn out in such a good way.  Ah, the wonders of having an eighteen year old boyfriend, he thought to himself with a smile. 

 

Ian was looking at him when Mickey turned his head to the side to look at Ian, who had put himself back on “his” side of the bed after he got the condom off and laid back down next to Mickey.

 

“Is it just me, or does that keep getting better?” Ian asked.

 

Mickey laughed and kissed him gently this time. “It’s _because_ of you, I think, and, yes,” Mickey answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sweet toddler birthday party followed by some smut, I think it works. For anyone trying to picture the castle the gang gives Yevgeny, I was thinking of the Little Tykes castle, those things are cool! Oh, and for the trip to the party store-I had been thinking of a way to get "Hey Mickey" into a story since I started writing for this pair. When I listened to it while writing to picture Ian dancing to it, I really could see it so easily-I'm bummed the TV show never gave us Cameron dancing to it. It wouldn't surprise me at all if there's a gag reel or footage from a cast party somewhere with him doing that. Why don't the DVDs come with a blooper reel?


	9. I Have Never Let Anything Have This Much Control Over Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deeper than the deepest...lake.

The morning after Yev’s party Mickey woke up in the first gray light of day, before the sun was up. He had to pee, badly, and carefully extracted himself out from under Ian’s arm, and detangled their legs slowly so he wouldn’t wake the redhead up.  After relieving himself, he brushed his teeth, figuring he’d spare Ian his dragon breath whenever he woke up.  Mickey contemplated having a shower, but didn’t want the sound of running water to wake Ian.  He vaguely recalled Ian bringing a warm wet washcloth back to the bed last night, and a smile played across his lips as he thought about how gently Ian had wiped him down while he was still floating in that blissful haze. 

 

He quietly opened the bathroom door to return to bed, and Ian was right there, mumbling a sleepy “good morning” and kissing Mickey on the top of his head as he walked by him to go into the bathroom. Mickey got back in bed and lay on his back awaiting Ian’s return. 

 

Ian placed himself over Mickey’s body when he got back, his face inches away from Mickey’s as he said, “Good morning” again, less sleepily this time. He leaned in and kissed Mickey softly, opening his mouth a little and letting Mickey’s tongue slide in.  He had brushed too. 

 

“Did I wake you?” Mickey said, sounding concerned. Ian needed more sleep than he ever got, and Mickey felt guilty about it, a lot. 

 

“Naw, had to pee,” Ian said.

 

“We should get some more sleep,” Mickey said, running a hand through Ian’s hair, loving the warmth he was still radiating from being all curled up all night.

 

“Too late,” Ian said, a little scowl on his forehead. “I’ve got morning wood.”   He lowered his hips down on to Mickey’s, proving his point.

 

“Oh dear. I see.  Well, that’s something you want to take care of right away, I can, uh, feel that,” Mickey said, as his own eager cock was starting to respond.  “What do you suggest we do about it?”

 

“I was thinking maybe mutual blowjobs might be in order, unless you have any ideas?” Ian asked, as if they were discussing a homework problem.

 

Mickey let out a long sigh, considering. “To tell you the truth, I’d actually like to have you in me again, if it’s not too much trouble.”

 

Ian gave him one of those smiles where his mouth, then his cheeks, then his eyes each lit up, one feature at a time. His nose even wrinkled, and Mickey loved every second of it. 

 

“It’ll be a pleasure,” Ian assured him.

 

They were both already naked, so Ian just began rolling his hips gently into Mickey’s as he kissed him some more. After last night’s poundings, they were both content to take things at a more leisurely pace.  Ian didn’t have to take much time to prep Mickey, his fingers slid in easily and he worked him open in a short amount of time.  Ian had also worked himself up-he had started off quiet, but was getting louder and louder as things progressed.  Mickey reached up and tugged his hair at one point just as his insides clenched Ian in the most pleasing way and Ian let out a shout, followed by a quick, “Shit, sorry.” 

 

Mickey’s eyes flew open, taking in the sight of Ian panting and pushing over him. “Sorry for what?” Mickey asked, panting with every syllable.

 

“For getting too loud.”

 

“The fuck?” Mickey asked, his body being pushed and pulled with Ian’s.

 

“It’s early, Mickey…unhhhhh,” Mickey was squeezing him from the inside again, “Iggy’s probably right in the next rooooooooooom.”

 

“Fuck Iggy, he’s probably passed out,” Mickey said. “Plus he can sleep through anything.”  It took Mickey a while to get those sentences out between gasps and pants and lip biting.  But Ian grinned, he got the message.  They both got as loud as they damn pleased, especially when they came. 

 

A few minutes later, Mickey was flat on his back, his arms flung back, bent at the elbows, the back of his hands resting on the pillow on either side of his head. Ian had been lying next to him, but now he crawled up over Mickey’s body again, holding himself up on his hands and his knees, keeping himself completely off of Mickey.  They looked into each other’s eyes for a few moments, each enjoying the blissed out afterglow look on his lover’s face.  Then Ian leaned down and placed a kiss on the inside of Mickey’s bicep, just above his elbow.

 

“What are you doing?” Mickey asked in a sleepy bemused voice. “Kissing you all the places I never get to kiss you,” Ian replied.  He loved this early morning time they had accidently managed to carve out for themselves.  They never seemed to get any extra time to just explore each other.  Back when things first started between them, they had to steal their moments and get off quick and get their clothes back on before anyone caught them.  And even now, with so much changed, they still usually had to contend with their crowded schedules or Yevgeny making demands on their time.  Ian was going to take full advantage of waking up before an alarm or Yev needed them today.  Ian leaned over and kissed the other arm in the same spot, and then lifted his head a little to meet Mickey’s eyes.  Mickey was looking at him with a quirk of his eyebrow.  “Too gay?” Ian asked. 

 

Mickey smiled. “Just the right amount of gay, I guess,” he laughed. 

 

Ian laughed too, and moved down and kissed one of Mickey’s knees.

 

“Hey, you kiss me there lots of times,” Mickey said.

 

“I do? When?”

 

“During sex.”

 

“I do?” Ian repeated. “Huh, I wasn’t aware…”  He looked down at Mickey’s knee.  “Oh, I know,” Ian said, sliding his arm under Mickey’s calf and holding his leg up in the air so he could place kisses on the back of Mickey’s knee.  Mickey giggled.

 

“Did I just discover another ticklish spot?” Ian asked, smiling as he looked up the length of Mickey’s naked body into his eyes.

 

“I honestly don’t know,” Mickey said. He couldn’t tell if he was laughing from the soft brush of Ian’s lips on that spot or from the giddiness of being near Ian.  He was always feeling laughter and happiness bubbling right below the surface when they were together. 

 

Ian kissed his way down the back of Mickey’s calf, then kissed the bony knob on the outside of his ankle, and Mickey laughed again. “That’s not tickilish,” he told Ian, “you’re just kissing me in funny places.” 

 

Ian looked up at him again, holding Mickey’s foot in his hand by the heel. “You want me to suck your toes?” he asked seriously.

 

Mickey felt a surge of desire inside. He’d never have thought that sounded appealing before, but suddenly, with Ian offering, he could picture it, and it seemed like it could actually be quite hot for Ian to take those digits into his warm wet mouth…but then Mickey thought of where his bare feet had been recently, most specifically in the bathroom he shared with his brother, who wasn’t the most careful of shots when it came to coming home late and taking a piss. 

 

“Uh, not now-how about the next time you give me a bath?” Mickey said, his eyes half closed, back to thinking about Ian’s mouth.

 

Ian cocked an eyebrow at him. “There’s gonna be a next time?” “Of course,” Mickey said.  “And I won’t be all battered and on painkillers either.”

 

“Okay,” Ian smiled. “I’m going to remind you you promised.”  For now he went back to kissing Mickey, gently turning his foot so he could kiss the inside of his ankle. 

 

Once they were up and showered for the day, they all had breakfast together, even Iggy, who looked worse for wear after a night out, but he didn't make any complaints about hearing any noise from the room next door earlier, so Ian could stop worrying about that.  Not that it was bugging him all that much, but he was low-key anxious that Iggy might have been awakened by them. 

 

Yev spent a busy morning playing with his trains and castle, the big people kept an eye on him as they finished cleaning up the house after the day before's festivities, and Iggy had gone back to bed for a few hours but split right before noon, saying he was meeting up with some buddies.  Svetlana and Nika had a full afternoon planned; they had appointments for their hair, nails, and waxing, and plans to go shopping for undergarments and whatever else they needed to ply their trade.  Mickey had never been interested in the details, he just knew that every so often he'd need to be available for a whole afternoon to be with Yevgeny while they got their professional stuff done.  He had to admit, they did a good job of coordinating it so they got it all done in one fell swoop, Svetlana was very efficient.  The ladies left right after lunch-their plan was to do all their errands, go to a nice restaurant for dinner, and they'd be home in time for Mickey to go over to the club not too long after he put Yev down for the night, usually they'd get home after a dinner date like that by nine or nine thirty.  Mickey didn't begrudge them a grownup night out, they deserved it. 

 

After the women left, Yevgeny just wasn't himself.  The guys couldn't get him to go down for his nap no matter what they tried.  Ian told Mickey it was understandable, Yev was probably still excited about the day before.  "Kids like having a routine, and yesterday we did almost everything different-it makes sense he'll probably need a day or two to readjust."

 

"You don't think this is just him hitting the terrible twos exactly on schedule?" Mickey asked, as his son squirmed in his arms, trying to get put down so he could run around the house some more, instead of listening to the story Ian was trying to read him as his father tried to rock him. 

 

Ian laughed.  "Naw, he's just still keyed up from yesterday.  He's got energy to burn, you can see it in his eyes." 

 

They decided to bring him outside to run off that energy with the bubble machine.  Yev was having fun chasing down the bubbles, but they could see he finally seemed to be getting tired, he wasn't running as hard or squealing so long after a while.  But, just when Mickey was going to ask Ian if he thought they should try the story again, Yevgeny tripped over his own feet and went down on his knees, hard.  Luckily he landed on a grassy spot, so he didn't scrape his knees, but he did bite down on his tongue and now he was screaming so loud that Mickey bet they could hear it at the Canadian border.  Ian was closest to him when he fell, so he scooped him up in his big strong arms and Mickey was right there in an instant.  At least with the height Ian was holding him at and the fact he had his mouth wide open to holler, Mickey could see right away there wasn't any blood. 

 

"He's okay, he's not bleeding," Mickey reassured Ian.  "He's probably more startled than anything.  Let's get him inside." 

 

Ian carried him up the backsteps, Mickey following.  Ian sat down on one of the chairs at the table with the still screaming Yevgeny on his lap while Mickey opened up the fridge.  "No popsicles, damn it," Mickey said, looking inside.  Iggy was always finishing those off and not telling anyone.  "Yev, you want some ice cream?"  There was still some of that left over from the party. 

 

"Nooooooooo!" Yev wailed, and then went back to crying harder than ever.  Poor little guy, he really was overtired. 

 

Mickey started moving stuff around in the freezer, hoping against hope there'd be something in there to help.  He found a little freezer baggie with something blue inside, and pulled it out.  It was a teething ring with a bear on it as a handle.  When they had bought it, the back of the package had a "helpful tip" that you could keep the ring after it was needed for teething to use as a cold pack on "boo boos".  At the time, Mickey had rolled his eyes at the manufacturer's choice of words, but now he was grateful they had kept the tip in mind and left the ring in the freezer even though Yev hadn't cut any teeth for a few months now.  Mickey took the bear out of the bag and ran the teething ring part under cold water so it wouldn't stick to Yevgeny's tongue. 

 

"Yev, look, it's a magic bear that will help your boo boo," Mickey said, holding up the ring so Yev could see the blue bear.  "Put this in your mouth."

 

Yev slowed his crying at the word "magic".  He looked at his father with sad eyes.  He was still crying pretty hard, but opened his mouth so Mickey could place the ring inside.  Yev closed his mouth around it and slid his tongue against the coolness.  He stopped crying so hard, but was still sniffling around the ring, the tears still coursing down his cheeks. 

 

"Better?" Mickey asked worriedly.  Yev nodded a little.  Mickey left the room for a second, and came back with a cool wet facecloth and gently wiped the tears from Yevgeny's cheeks.  Yev stared into his eyes the entire time, his tongue moving around inside his mouth, feeling the cooling power of the teething ring, his sobs finally subsiding.  Ian was looking at Mickey too as he held Yev on his lap and softly rubbed his arm and his leg, doing whatever he could to help calm the toddler down while Mickey took such good care of him.  Mickey looked up for a second and caught Ian's eye and raised an eyebrow, then Ian leaned forward and kissed him softly, once, on the lips.  Mickey looked down for a second, almost as if he was thinking, "Aw, shucks."  Ian smiled at him.  Mickey's soft and caring side was something probably no one outside of the family ever got to see. 

 

Yevgeny reached out one arm and his fingers did an open and closing motion that was his sign language for wanting to be picked up.  Mickey tossed the facecloth onto the side of the kitchen sink and stood up, taking Yevgeny from Ian and cradling him in his arms in a lying down position.  He walked to the living room and sat on the couch with him.  Ian took the washcloth into the bathroom and rinsed it out with warm water and left it on the bar near the sink to dry.  He then joined Mickey and Yev on the couch.  Yevgeny's eyes were closed and his breathing was steady and deep, but they could see he was still sucking and pulling on the ring.  After about ten minutes though, his mouth relaxed and the ring slipped down onto his little chest.  Ian gently plucked it up with his fingers and brought it to the kitchen and washed it off with the anti-bacterial soap they washed the dishes with, then left it on the drying rack to air dry before he'd find a new freezer bag to put it away in.  He walked back to the living room and motioned to the bedroom and Mickey nodded, so Ian leaned down and took Yev from Mickey's arms and carried him to the bedroom and put him into his crib and turned on the baby monitor. 

 

After closing the bedroom door gently, Ian returned to the couch and handed Mickey the portable piece of the monitor.  Ian then toed off his sneakers and lay down on the couch, putting his head on Mickey's lap.  He looked up at Mickey and said, "It's pretty warm in there, so I didn't cover him up.  Once the sun's moved off of that side of the house you'll probably want to put a blanket on him."

 

Mickey nodded and said, "You think he's gonna sleep that long?" as he wiped his hand over his face.  It had been a long morning and afternoon, Mickey felt a strong headache threating to come on now that the crisis was over. 

 

"Yeah, probably.  He got really overtired, Mick."  Ian yawned.  "Come to think of it, so did I."  He let his eyes close.  Mickey brought his hand up and gently rubbed it over Ian's forehead. 

 

"Mmmm," Ian smiled, his eyes still closed.  "That feels nice."  Mickey smiled down at him, even though Ian couldn't see it, and kept rubbing his forehead.  Somehow, that was making Mickey's headache recede too.  They stayed like that for a few moments, neither of them speaking. 

 

"Don't let me fall asleep," Ian murmured, his voice low and thick.  "Or if I do, be sure I'm awake by quarter to five."  Miguel was picking him up at five.  He had a long shift at the Fairy Tail that night, from six to two.   Mickey murmured a positive response-just a noise that Ian knew meant "I heard you and I'll do it".  Ian let himself relax even more, feeling the warmth of Mickey's fingers stroking his forehead and the warmth of Mickey's thighs under his head and neck.  Just like Yev, he gave in and was soon sleeping deeply.  Mickey couldn't take his eyes off of Ian's face.  He truly was the most beautiful person Mickey had ever seen, in real life or on TV or in the movies.  His deep red lips were parted slightly, softly letting air in and out.  Mickey knew firsthand how soft and enjoyable those lips were.  Then there was Ian's ridiculously cute nose-Mickey loved bumping his own against that.  Mickey next looked at the thick red eyelashes fanning Ian's cheeks.  He sighed deeply.  Next thing he knew he was gonna try counting Ian's freckles or some shit.  He rested his own head on the back of the couch for a moment, but he couldn't see Ian in that position, so he went back to looking down at him, keeping the motion of his fingers steady even though Ian was sound asleep now. 

 

Ian awoke on his own a while later, Mickey was still stroking his forehead and it still felt nice, but he turned his head and saw by the clock on the cable box it was seventeen minutes till five.  He looked up at Mickey and smiled and sat up and kissed him, gently at first, but then turning his body on the couch so he was more directly in front of Mickey so he could put his hand on the back of Mickey's neck and deepen the kiss. 

 

"Did you have a nice nap?" Mickey grinned, when Ian let him go.

 

"I did, but, geez, Mickey, did you sit here the whole time?  You gotta be stiff..."

 

"Not yet, but hopefully after we get home tonight," Mickey said, raising his eyebrows all flirty.  Ian snorted out a laugh.  Ian maneuvered his long limbs off the couch and got up, finally giving Mickey a chance to stretch and get his circulation going again.  Ian walked to the kitchen. 

 

"You gonna eat something so you can take your pills?" Mickey asked. 

 

"Yeah, I know just what I want," Ian replied, keeping his voice as low as possible so he wouldn't wake Yevgeny.  Mickey slowly stood up and made his way to the kitchen.  Damn it, he was stiff and not in the good way.  Ian was just shutting the lid of the bakery box that had the remains of Yev's cake in it, a big square of the cake in his hand.  An open water bottle was on the counter along with his three bottles of pills from the high cabinet where he kept them.  Ian had taken a big bite of cake and then swallowed his pills as Mickey walked towards him, now he finished off the cake in two more bites and was looking at Mickey.  "Want some cake?" he asked. 

 

Mickey laughed and shook his head.  "I'll wait for dessert, thank you," he said.  "Ian, you've gotta eat something more nutritious than that..." he trailed off and swiped off a dot of frosting that had wound up on Ian's nose with his thumb.  Ian grabbed his hand and stuck the thumb into his mouth, using more tongue than was strictly necessary to suck off the frosting and then pulling Mickey's thumb out of his mouth with a pop. 

 

"I know, I'll grab something supper-like on my break, especially if you bring it to me," he added, giving Mickey the full puppy eyes.  Mickey huffed and nodded and mumbled he'd come up with something.  Ian pulled Mickey to him by the back of the neck and gave him a big open-mouthed kiss.  Mickey could taste the frosting in Ian's mouth still.  Ian rested his forehead against Mickey's for a few seconds after they broke the kiss, then let go of the back of Mickey's neck and ran to put his sneakers back on.  He wanted to be waiting for Miguel outside so he wouldn't have to beep his horn and risk waking Yev. 

 

"I'll see ya at the club!" Ian said just loud enough for Mickey to hear as he ducked out the door.  Mickey stood a bit dazed looking at the closed door for a minute, then went into the bathroom.  He looked at himself in the mirror, seeing how tired he looked, the bags under his eyes.  He looked into his own eyes' reflection for a moment, his hands tightly gripping the sides of the sink, then let his head hang down as he felt tears beginning to sting.  He didn't know how much more of this he could take, how much longer he could hold back from telling Ian how he felt-how he wanted Ian, all of Ian, to be just his-his and Yev's. 

 

Mickey quietly walked into his room and checked on Yev, who was still in a deep sleep, his arms wrapped tightly around Een.  The room was still toasty, so Mickey didn't bother with a blanket.  He laid down on his own unmade bed, lifting his butt off the mattress to pull out his phone and set his alarm for nine in case Svetlana snuck in and took Yev before he could wake him and decided to let Mickey sleep.  Mickey had a vague thought that maybe he should wake Yev up at some point to try to feed him, but figured in the long run it'd be better just to let Yevgeny wake up on his own time.  He might be up late, but Mickey felt that Svetlana would be able to handle that, if it happened. 

 

Mickey went back to thinking about Ian.  He had talked about it in therapy, how he wanted to give Ian time and the space he needed to decide for himself what he wanted out of life, and from Mickey.  Mickey's therapist had told him often enough that Mickey himself was just twenty years old and that goals and desires might change, that he was still maturing emotionally.  Mickey was pretty sure he knew Ian was the only person he was ever going to love-he didn't need to wait for his prefrontal cortex to finish maturing when he was twenty-five years old to know that, but Ian is still only eighteen, plus his emotional development had at least taken a side route...Mickey just didn't feel like he had the right to push Ian or to even ask him...to accept him, to want him, whatever.  Mickey always got bogged down talking about that stuff.  It's not that he felt like a pussy if he needed to ask for anything-on the contrary, growing up with Terry it took balls to ask for something.  Even a request for a signature on a permission slip to go to the Field Museum when Mickey was in the eighth grade got him the back of Terry's hand right to his face.  But Mickey honestly, deep down, didn't feel like he'd be anyone's choice, ever.  He knew he'd be Yevgeny's, but only because Yev was born into it and didn't get an opportunity to choose.  But Ian?  Ian could choose, he should choose.  If he wanted someone else, Mickey knew he'd have to respect that. 

 

He fell asleep having all those complicated, unsure thoughts, but he dreamt about making love with Ian and got a very restful nap in anyway. 

 

Before anyone knew it, it was summer.  Suddenly everyone's lives got even more hectic.  Mickey was taking summer classes, and the great thing about the summer sessions were they were only six weeks each and Mickey really appreciated that they got down to what was truly important in the material and there was no time for bullshit, but on the other hand, cramming a whole semester's worth of work into six weeks meant there was tons of work to get done.  He was taking two classes in each session, so he was in class Monday through Thursday nights, and time out of class meant lots of schoolwork.  On top of that, summer was, understandably, when the HVAC company he worked for was at its busiest.  A lot of their clients were business firms that needed their computer mainframes' rooms kept cool no matter what, and they would call any time day or night when they needed repairs.  Mickey was making great money, getting paid for overtime and golden time working after midnight hours and Sundays, but it left less time for Ian and his son, and he was sacrificing sleep over missing out on more time with them.  Ian was busier too-the club really came to life in the summer and there were no such things as "dead nights" like when it was freezing and miserable out.  Guys-and more and more women too-liked to come out scantily dressed and beat the heat by drinking tropical concoctions and watching pretty boys dance.  And the diner always seemed packed, families didn't like staying at home to cook and more people were just out and about in general. 

 

Ian did manage to be outside enough for his hair to lighten up into the orange shade Mickey was hoping to see, so that was one thing to make Mickey happy.  And Yevgeny had started toilet training and took to it as easily as it sounded like Debbie Gallagher had-he was very good at walking up to one of his grownups, even Iggy or Mandy or Lip (who weren't around as often) and letting them know he had to "go potty" and they'd help him get his diaper off and let it go.  Svetlana had read that the pull up type diapers sent a mixed message, so they skipped those and got him into big boy underwear during the day instead, and he had done well with those.  They still put him in a diaper overnight, but most mornings he woke up clean and dry. 

 

Mickey had a one week break between the two summer sessions, and Ian cleared his schedule as much as he possibly could so they could be together.  Mickey had told him he wanted to take Yevgeny to the beach one day, so they checked the weather forecast the week before Mickey's week off and figured Tuesday sounded like a perfect beach day.  Ian made sure Fiona understood that he wouldn't work that day even if it meant the place going out of business and she had laughed and promised him she'd lose his number for that day.  As it was, he had taken all the weekdays off from both jobs that week, and got shortened shifts for the weekends. 

 

Mickey and Ian separately bought some supplies beforehand for their beach trip.  Mickey had come home from the grocery store with a small beach umbrella that came all furled up in a canvas bag with a shoulder strap, the pole in two pieces that also slid into the bag, and a plastic bucket and shovel for Yevgeny.  Ian borrowed a couple of swimming diapers off of Vee-when he showed them to Mickey, Mickey said he didn't know if Yev would wear one, and Ian said that's why he just borrowed them instead of buying a whole pack.  If Yev didn't want to wear one while he was in the water, they could just give them back.  Vee's girls still weren't interested in potty training, but they did love being in Fiona's pool. 

 

Ian also bought sunscreen, expensive, high SPF, water proof sunscreen for sensitive skin, even babies.  Mickey wanted to give him some money for it when he saw the price sticker, but Ian insisted he would've bought it for himself anyway and he was happy to share it with Yevgeny and Mickey.  Ian went to TJ Maxx one afternoon and bought big fluffy beach towels for all of them, plus a couple of smaller ones just for Yev-one had cartoonish monkeys on it, and the other had a big butter yellow seahorse on a background of light blue.  He also got Yevgeny a big floppy khaki colored sun hat, and got himself a hat that looked like something an old man would wear fishing-it was baby blue with a striped band and would keep the sun off of most of his face.  He tried to get Mickey some sort of hat too, but in the end figured he'd probably never wear one.  Ian made sure to ask Mickey if he wanted one-even a baseball cap-and said he'd go back to the store and get it, but Mickey just shook his head.  No way. 

 

Mickey went to the dollar store and came home with blow up floaties for Yevgeny's arms, and sunglasses for all three of them. He showed them to Ian one night after they got home from the club.  Mickey’s looked like classic Ray Bans Wayfarers, he picked aviators for Ian, and for Yevgeny he got a little kids’ pair of Batman shades. 

 

“Batman?” Ian questioned.

 

“He’s badass, wears black.” Mickey replied.

 

“Thought you’d be more likely to root for the bad guys,” Ian said, “not some rich guy with a butler.”

 

“Yeah, that’s true,” Mickey said. “Although I’d love to have my own Batmobile.  But you’re right, the villains in Batman were cooler than a rich dude.” 

 

“I always felt a connection with the Joker,” Ian said, tilting his head down and doing a great Jack Nicholson crazy smile. Mickey laughed.

 

“That’s fucking awesome, but don’t do that around Yev-you’ll scare the crap out of him,” Mickey said.

 

The day of the beach trip dawned sunny and bright. It was going to be a scorcher.  Mickey had decided they’d take the El to Lake Michigan, then they wouldn’t have to worry if the parking lots were full, plus they wouldn’t be stuck in a line to get in to park, or have to pay for parking.  Ian had packed the beach bag the night before, he put a little hoodie and a pair of sweatpants in the bottom for Yev, in case he got a chill, then he tossed in a couple of T shirts and Yev’s extra bathing suit, then the swimming diapers, and then he rolled up the towels and jammed them in, along with an old quilt he’d borrowed from Fi’s house to use as a beach blanket.  It wasn’t very big, it was meant for a twin bed and it rolled up almost as small as the fluffy beach towels.  He put the sunscreen and floaties in the pocket on the outside of the bag, and set the bucket and shovel on top so they wouldn’t forget it, but he figured he’d just carry that by its handle. 

 

In the morning, Mickey packed up a little Igloo cooler he used as his lunch box for his job with juice boxes and water bottles and sandwiches and fruit for their lunch and a blue ice block that fit in the top of the cooler. He put on his shades and slung the umbrella over his shoulder by its carrying strap, grabbed the cooler with his hand on that side, and picked up Yevgeny with the other hand.  Yev didn’t want his sunglasses on yet, so Ian put them in the pocket of his tote bag and offered Yevgeny his hat, but he shook his head no to that too.  It was still early enough that, for the short amount of time he’d be in the sun while they walked to the El, he didn’t need sun protection yet, but Ian put his own hat on all the same.  He hated getting sunburns, he wasn’t going to risk it.  Yev wanted to carry the bucket, so Ian put the handle into his hand and he gripped it. 

 

The train was already crowded. A nice older lady offered Mickey her seat, but he declined and said they’d be all right.  Ian took the cooler from him and placed it on top of the beach bag and held it in place with his arm, so he and Mickey each had a hand free to hang onto a strap.  They had to ride into downtown and transfer to another line to get out to the lake, but the rides weren’t too bad.  Yev had gotten a good night’s sleep and was excited about getting to play at the beach.  He looked at all the people on the trains and talked to Ian and Mickey and held onto his bucket and was just a good boy in general. 

 

When they got to the beach it was crowded, but they were able to stake out a spot. Mickey got the umbrella set up quickly and Ian spread the blanket out in its shade.  Then he took out the sunscreen and pulled off his shirt and started spreading it every place he could reach, knowing Yevgeny was watching him closely. 

 

“Mick, will you get my back, please?” Ian said, handing the can to Mickey. It was the spray-on kind, and the label said to rub it in after applying.  Mickey was thrilled to do Ian’s back, and then  took off his T shirt so Ian could get his back.  While Ian was rubbing it in, Mickey sprayed it all over his front and down his legs. 

 

“Yo, little man, you want some of this?” Mickey asked, raising his eyebrows at Yev, who was sitting in the middle of the blanket.

 

“Spray me!” his little voice replied. Ian smiled and Mickey shook the can some more and sprayed it on Yev after taking his top off, being careful not to get any in his face.  Ian took the can back and sprayed some into his hands, then rubbed it all over his face and the tops of his ears, then he sprayed some more and even rubbed it into his hair.  Mickey raised his eyebrows.

 

“Yes, Mickey, even through my hair I can burn, since I can’t wear a hat in the water,” Ian explained.

 

“Wow, and I thought my skin was sensitive,” Mickey laughed, shaking his head.

 

“You better do the tops of your ears, though,” Ian advised.

 

“Or, you know, you could do it for me…” Mickey grinned. Ian grinned too, and complied, and then looked at Yev.

 

“Can I do your face and ears like me and Dad?” Ian asked. Yev put his hands out. 

 

“Spray me,” he said again. Ian sprayed a little bit into his hands, and Yev rubbed them together and then ran his hands through his hair like Ian had.  Mickey and Ian both broke into big smiles. 

 

“Good job, Yev! Now let me just get your ears, and your nose, and your chin, and your face,” Ian said, working his gentle hands all around the toddler’s head.  Yev stayed still and let him. 

 

They finished setting up their little area, giving the sunscreen time to work before they went out in the full sun, but soon the pull of the water was getting too enticing for Yevgeny, so they kicked off their sneakers, sprayed the tops of their feet (“Really?” Mickey had asked. “Really,” Ian assured him.), got off their blanket and made their way down to the water.  Mickey had carried Yev over the hot sand, but when they got to where the water had been lapping the shore with gentle waves, Mickey put him down.  Yev looked down at his feet, wriggling his toes and letting the damp sand squish through.  

 

“You want to try wading in the water?” Mickey asked, reaching for Yev’s hand. Yevgeny took it, and then put the other hand up for Ian to grab.  Ian broke into a big smile and took it.  They walked into the water, letting Yev set the pace.  He squealed and giggled when the relatively cold water was up over his feet, and then he stomped his legs up and down, feeling the cold water splash. 

 

“Oh, shit, forgot about the diaper,” Mickey said.

 

“Oops,” Ian agreed. “Hey, Yev, I just remembered, I’d gotta go to the bathroom.  Do you guys want to come with me?” “Yup,” Mickey said, pulling them both around so they were facing the shore again.  Mickey picked Yev up before they hit the hot sand, and they went back to the blanket.  Yev had little beach shoes Svetlana had bought him to wear, but Mickey and Ian just shoved their wet sandy feet into their sneakers.  They had both worn older pairs, figuring this trip might be the last time they used the shoes, if they got wet and smelly. 

 

They made their way up to the bathroom, and there was a bit of a line. When there was finally a spot for Mickey inside, Ian still had to wait, but he was fine with that.  Mickey said they’d meet up again and pointed to a spot a little way off from the bathroom where they could wait for each other out of people’s way. 

 

After a couple of minutes, Ian found them there. “How’d we make out?” he asked. 

 

“Good,” Mickey said. “I held him up and he did both right into the bowl.”

 

“Way to go, Yev!” Ian said. He didn’t know how proud of this stuff he was supposed to act, but he _was_ proud of the little guy.  They got back to the blanket and showed him the swimming diaper and asked if he wanted to put it on, but he just gave them a Milkovich “are you out of your mind” look.

 

“I think we’re just confusing him,” Mickey said. “He should be okay until after he has something to eat and drink.”  Ian nodded and they went back to the water.  This time Ian and Mickey went in with Yev up to his waist, each still holding on to a hand, and then they were dunking him up and down till the water went almost to his shoulders, pulling him up by his arms. Yevgeny loved it and kept telling them to do it more.  They did that for a while, and then Yev wanted to run around on the hard packed wet sand where the little waves receded.  Ian and Mickey kept close watch over him, but he never once tried running into the water.  When Yev tired of that activity, Mickey went and got the bucket and shovel, and they all played with that. 

 

The sun was pretty much directly over them, and Ian suggested maybe they should eat. They walked into the lake to rinse off, and to rinse off the bucket.  Mickey held Yev closely to him as he ran his hands over Yevgeny’s arms and legs under the water.  Ian took care of the bucket and shovel.

 

Back on the blanket they ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches Mickey had made with some Goldfish crackers and then Mickey broke pieces off a banana for Yev’s dessert while Ian ate his own banana. Mickey finished off what Yevgeny didn’t want, and Ian had saved a bit of his so they each had about the same amount.  Mickey grinned at Ian from behind his shades and thanked him.  Yevgeny also drank down a juice box, the big guys had water. 

 

Yev was yawning and his eyes were big and sleepy (he took off his Batman shades when he was under the umbrella).

 

“How about we try a nap?” Mickey said. Yev nodded.  Mickey fingered his little bathing suit, even up at the elastic waistband it felt dry, so Mickey figured he could stay in it.  Ian dug out one of the still rolled up towels and put it down for Yev to use as a pillow.  Yevgeny stretched out in the middle of the blanket and Ian laid down on one side of him, Mickey on the other.  There was a gentle breeze blowing in off the water, but the air was warm. 

 

“Think we need to cover him?” Ian asked quietly.

 

“Naw, I think he’s warm enough,” Mickey said, running his hand over Yev’s feet and legs. They didn’t feel cool from being wet earlier, and they didn’t feel hot either, they were just right. 

 

Ian lay all the way down, stretching his arm out to rest his head upon it. Mickey lay down as well, reaching over and playing with Ian’s windblown hair, not even looking around them first to see if anyone was watching, Ian noticed.  Mickey bent his head down to his son’s and kissed him softly on the forehead, wishing him pleasant dreams, and then he really surprised Ian by leaning over to kiss him as well, softly, on the lips.  Ian smiled a big happy grin and watched Mickey’s eyes as he put his head on the blanket and then they both watched Yevgeny till he fell asleep.

 

“This is so nice, being here,” Ian said, a little while later. “What made you think of it?”

 

Mickey looked at him. A little bit of sadness came into his eyes and Ian wrinkled his brow.  What had Mickey sad?

 

“My mom would bring us, at least once, every summer,” Mickey said. Ian held his breath.  As far as he could recall, Mickey had never mentioned his mother to him before.  “She couldn’t swim-wherever the fuck she grew up they never went swimming, probably lived near Chernobyl or some fuckin’ place,” Mickey swore softly, there was no venom in it, but maybe a bit of feeling that his mom deserved a better place to start from, no matter where she wound up.  “I mean, I know the place melted down after she was already living here, but whatever, she just never learned how to swim so she was terrified one of us would drown and it’d be her fault, so every summer, she figured out a way to get us swimming lessons at the Y when we each of us got old enough.  They were only like, four bucks a lesson when I was going, but my fuckhead of a father wouldn’t even give her that much, so she had to scrimp and save and hide any loose change she found.  She’d take us for just enough lessons that we could swim, and then that’d be it, but then near the end of summer, she always found a day to get us down here and we could swim.  She’d sit on the shore and watch us nervously, as if there’d be anything she could do if we started drowning.  Those days must have been hell for her, but she never let us see it.  We thought they were the best day of the year-better than Christmas, because there was no chance of Terry walking in on it and ruining it.” 

 

Ian reached over and traced his fingers across Mickey’s forehead. He didn’t know what to say.  Mickey wasn’t looking at him, Ian could tell he was remembering his mom.  Mickey finally looked over at Ian.  “How did you learn?  Fiona teach you?”

 

Ian tried to remember. Swimming was something he just had always done, he hadn’t really thought about it.  A smile started to creep across his face as he started to remember something. 

 

“Oh, wow, I never thought about it, but when we were really little, we always had wading pools in the backyard, you know? Those cheap plastic ones that you have to dump the water out of every night and let them dry upside down propped up on something or they’ll grow green shit all in the bottom?  Well, anyway, one summer Frank must’ve come into some money somehow, and Fiona talked Monica into getting an above ground pool-some place was running ads all day every day on TV.  Anyway, Monica went for it and signed all the paperwork, and the store sent a crew of guys and they set it up and told Fiona how to run the filter and use the chemical dispenser to keep the water clean, and by the next day the hose had it filled and we were ready to swim, except I didn’t know how.  I don’t know how Fiona and Lip knew, they just did, but I didn’t.  I was going around the side of the pool, hanging on to the edge and letting my legs float.  It was good just to be cooled off, you know?”  Mickey nodded.  “So, I get to where the filter pipe is hanging over into the pool, and I stick my hand under it and it sucked the palm of my hand flat against the pipe, and I was so terrified I pushed back away from it with all my might and now I was drowning in the middle of the pool.  I had gone under immediately and was totally freaking out and I just started kicking my legs and doggy paddling with my arms cuz I saw it on TV, probably, and next thing I knew I was swimming over to the ladder, coughing and sputtering.  Fi and Lip are just staring at me, and I started yelling at them for not helping me and Lip told me to put my feet down, so I did and I stood up, the water barely came up to my chin.” 

 

Mickey laughed, an honest to goodness laugh, even though he kept it quiet so he wouldn’t wake up Yev. Ian was glad he took his mind off his mom memories, but he was a little bit hurt, where was the sympathy?  “Hey, that thing sucking me was scary!” Ian insisted.

 

Mickey laughed harder. “Thank Christ you outgrew that fear,” he hooted, holding onto his sides as he lay there laughing. 

 

Ian laughed too. “You’re right,” he said, giving Mickey a sexy look with a raised eyebrow.    

 

Mickey rolled back onto his side and looked at Ian. “Hey, why don’t you try to catch a few zzz’s while the kid’s knocked out?  I’ll keep an eye on things.”

 

Ian sighed. He was tired-his therapist was constantly on him about needing more sleep-but Mickey kept up a busy schedule too.  But Ian and Mickey had had that argument before, Ian was on his feet most of the time plus shaking his ass at the club, Mickey contended he got more down time being able to sit for a lot of things he did.  Ian let his eyes flutter closed and Mickey reached over and rubbed his hair for a second. 

 

Ian did fall all the way asleep, and when he awoke, he was alone on the blanket. But it wasn’t too long before Mickey and Yev were back, Mickey slowly following Yev as he walked over the sand in his water shoes. 

 

“Guess who peed standing up just like a big boy?” Mickey said, smiling at Ian.

 

“Really?” Ian said, holding up a hand for Yev, who had come running up the last few feet to get to Ian. “High five!”  Yev slapped his palm, a big smile on his face. 

 

“They had little mini-urinals in there-the kid stepped right up like a natural,” Mickey said.

 

Ian pulled Yev into a hug, and Yevgeny giggled.

 

“Well, I better go, and then how about we go in the water again?” Ian said.

 

“Yeah, Een!” Yev was down to swim.  Ian took off towards the restrooms.  Once again there was a line so he was gone for several minutes.

 

On his way back, Ian heard crying, and realized it was Yev. He took off running towards their spot, kicking up sand and trying to apologize to people as he dashed by, but honestly, he would’ve run over people to get to Yev.  He pulled up short at their blanket, Mickey was trying to shush Yev and also pull up one of the floaties on his left arm. 

 

Ian fell to his knees on the blanket, Mickey gave him a helpless look.

 

“These hurt to put on…” Mickey began.

 

“Aw, that’s because you blew it up all the way,” Ian said, gently putting his hand on Yevgeny’s head. “You only inflate them halfway-or just blow them up when they’re on his arms.”  Ian opened the valve on the top half of the floatie and squeezed it so some air would come out, then he did the same with the bottom half.  “It also helps if you get them and the arms wet first.”

 

Mickey looked crestfallen. “I didn’t know.” “It’s okay, Daddy,” Yev said, now that he had stopped crying. 

 

“No, Yev, don’t ever say that, don’t ever think it-it’s never okay if someone hurts you and if they do, you always tell me, or Mommy, or Ian, or Nika, or Uncle Iggy, or Aunt Mandy-even if it’s one of us, you tell one of the others, promise me,” Mickey said, clearly upset.

 

“Mick, it’s okay, you didn’t mean to, Yev knows you weren’t trying to hurt him,” Ian said, putting a protective arm around the toddler.

 

Mickey looked into Ian’s eyes, trying to find a way to make him understand. “He needs to know, Ian-I grew up thinking it was just the way it was…”

 

“Mickey, I know, but Yev’s life isn’t like that. You’d never hurt him in a million years, not even unintentionally.  This floatie scraping his arm was uncomfortable, that’s all,  it’s okay.”

 

Yev was nodding solemnly.

 

“Mickey, you can’t be expected to know everything. You’ve never seen a kid use these, you made a common mistake.  I wouldn’t know to put them on like that if it weren’t for Liam using them, and for Fiona making the same mistake at first and figuring out how to put them on.  Don’t worry about it,” Ian said.  Mickey was finally calming down.  Ian gently tugged the floatie off.  “Let’s reapply the sunscreen, okay, Yev?” Ian asked. 

 

“Oh, shit, I forgot that too,” Mickey said.

 

“That’s cuz you’re all tough and you don’t burn like me and little guys do,” Ian said, trying to lighten Mickey’s mood, and rocking Yev side to side and tickling his belly. Mickey dug the sunscreen out and sprayed it over both his guys, being gentle and thorough.  They both watched him with big trusting eyes.  Then Ian took the can and did Mickey’s back, Mickey got the rest of his pale body covered, and they all went down to the water.  Ian got the floaties wet on the inside, and then Yevgeny’s arms.  Yev giggled at the cold water running over him.  Then Ian gently pushed a floatie up Yevgeny’s arm and finished blowing it up, and Yev let Mickey do the other arm without a peep. 

 

Yevgeny loved the newfound freedom of being able to bob on the gentle waves on his own, without being held. Ian showed him how to straighten out his legs and kick to swim around.  Mickey watched his son transfixed as he paddled around.  This little person was doing more and more every single time he turned around. 

 

After swimming for a while, Ian taught him how to blow bubbles in the water. Ian picked him up and held him on his hip.  “So, you gotta do it like this,” Ian said, pulling Yev’s arm out straight and blowing a raspberry on the inside of his forearm.  “Can you do that?”  He held his arm out for Yev, and Yevgeny put his lips against it and blew and giggled. 

 

“Good, just like that,” Ian said. “And remember, only blow out when your face is in the water.  When you need to breathe, look up at me or Daddy, okay?  Mickey, show him how it’s done.”

 

Mickey gave Ian the raised eyebrows, but stuck his face in the water and blew bubbles, then brought his face up and breathed in with a deep, exaggerated breath, so Yev would get the idea. Ian lowered Yevgeny back to the water on his belly, but kept his hand under him in case he sucked in water and needed to be pulled up quick.  He didn’t have to bother though, Yev got the hang of it in no time.  Ian let him go and now he was swimming around like a little duck, sticking his face in the water and then bringing his head back up to breathe.  Mickey and Ian had huge smiles on their faces.  At one point, a rogue wave smacked right into Yev’s face, and he instinctively shut his eyes and blew out when it hit, so no water went up his nose.

 

They had had enough of swimming, so they headed back up to the beach blanket. They dried Yev off and changed him into his dry bathing suit and put one of his little T shirts on.  Mickey had noticed they sold ice cream treats up at the concession stand by the parking lot, so he asked Yev if he wanted a popsicle.

 

“Grape!” Yev was a man who knew what he wanted.  They all went to the stand and waited in line.  Ian got a Choco-Taco and Mickey said he figured he’d be finishing the popsicle, so he didn’t need anything. 

 

They sat back on their blanket, and Ian told Mickey to have a bite of the taco too, so he did while he waited for Yev to finish enjoying his popsicle. Mickey had taken Yev’s shirt off again before he got started and that was a good call-purple juice was running all down his belly.  When the popsicle was just a mushy mess threatening to fall completely off the stick, Yev handed it over to his dad to finish off.  Mickey got most of it in his mouth as it broke apart completely.  Ian laughed, it was cute to see father and son with matching purple lips.  They brought Yev down to the water again and everyone rinsed off. 

 

Before they went back to the blanket, they made one last pit stop at the bathroom. Then they were going to pack up and head home.  Mickey got Yev all dried off again, then pulled out a dry towel he had kept in reserve to wrap Yevgeny up in like a blanket.  Yev was falling asleep against his chest, it had been a long day.

 

Ian stopped packing stuff up for a second and looked over at them. “You’re a great dad,” he told Mickey. 

 

Mickey replied, “So are you,” but he said it so softly he wasn’t sure if Ian heard. He did, though. 

 

On the train ride home, Ian sat holding a sleeping Yevgeny on his lap, and Mickey stood in front of them, holding the bar on the back of Ian’s seat. Ian put his free hand that wasn’t wrapped around Yevgeny on Mickey’s hip to make a circle, keeping the three of them together. 

 

When they got home, Mickey showered first, and when he was finished he came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel looking at his arms.

 

“I swear I’m paler than before we spent the day in the sun, I must reflect light back like the moon or something…” Mickey was saying as he entered the bedroom. He shut up when he saw Ian standing at the side of the crib, looking down at Yevgeny with so much love and devotion.  Yev was wearing a white T shirt onesie and Ian was gently rubbing his back.  Ian looked up at Mickey and Mickey could see the heartache in his eyes and rightly guessed that Ian was regretting missing a year of the baby’s life. 

 

“I saved some hot water for ya,” Mickey said gruffly, hating to see that sadness in Ian’s eyes. “You better get in there before one of the Pussycat Dolls use it up.” 

 

Ian tried to smile a little and nodded, walking past Mickey to get to the bathroom. When he came back out after washing all the sand and sunscreen away, he went back over to the crib to check on Yevgeny one more time.  Mickey got off the bed and joined him, putting his hands around Ian’s waist from behind and pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. 

 

“Hey, come to bed with me,” Mickey said. “I’ve been wanting you all day.”

 

Ian turned a little, a surprised look on his face. “What about the baby?” he said.

 

“We can have quiet sex,” Mickey whispered. “Normal parents must make love all the time with their kids in the room.”  Mickey mildly panicked at what he had just said-three words he tried to always avoid with Ian were “normal” and “parents” and “love” , but too late now, it was out there. 

 

Ian let Mickey lead him to the bed, and they lay down together, Ian behind Mickey, both of them on their sides, Ian’s long leg over Mickey’s leg and they slowly and quietly made love. Ian pushed into Mickey gently, Mickey’s body rocking back to meet Ian’s.  When Ian felt he was getting close, he reached around and stroked Mickey with his left hand till he came.  Ian came soon after, his lips pressed into Mickey’s shoulder to muffle any noise he made, and then he gently pulled out of Mickey.  Mickey rolled over on his back, holding on to Ian’s hand and kissing it, and then Ian kissed him on the lips, his right hand cradling Mickey’s head, the kiss deepening.  They drank each other in.  Ian broke the kiss and let Mickey’s head rest on the pillow, but left his hand there, still holding Mickey, while Mickey still held his other wrist.  They stared into each other’s eyes for a long moment, and then Ian lay back down on his pillow, and Mickey rolled over to cuddle him, and they fell asleep till morning. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that last scene was inspired by the deleted Season 5 scene, in case anyone was wondering :)
> 
> I hope everyone enjoyed more family bonding. It may not seemed like much happened, but Mickey and Ian's feelings are growing deeper, and I really wanted to show how good they work as a family unit. 
> 
> Next chapter, a character I have mentioned in previous chapters finally walks into our story. (cue the dramatic music-dun dun DUN!!!) That being said, it might take me longer than usual to post it. So far I managed to get a chapter posted every Tuesday, but looking ahead I might need more time than I can carve out in the coming week to write. I'll do my best, but if I had to guess, I might need till the following Tuesday.


	10. I've Never Had So Much To Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to address some unfinished business.

On a hot August morning, Mickey quietly snuck into his bedroom, softly bumping the door closed with his hip.  The room was relatively cool-now that he was in the HVAC  business, or at least getting into it-he had bought a few window air conditioners for the bedrooms.  He and Ian were working so many hours it was vital for them to be able to drift off to sleep whenever possible.  However, since they had both grown up knowing nothing but Chicago's hot, humid summers, they didn't keep the room too cold.  Svetlana and Nika kept theirs like the inside of a freezer, but that was their business.  Right now Yev was sleeping over in their room, bundled up in winter pjs.  Mickey was wearing just his boxers and a tank top, and the other occupant of his bedroom was naked under the sheet. 

 

"EEEEEE-aaaan," Mickey softly crooned.  'Wake up, birthday boy."  He wanted Ian to awaken slowly and happily. 

 

Ian rolled over onto his side, feeling for Mickey on the mattress.  When his hand didn't make contact, he cracked one eye open and saw Mickey standing next to the bed, the tray from Yevgeny's high chair in his hands, smiling.  Ian smiled back and sat up, rubbing the corners of his eyes. 

 

"Hey, Mick," he said, his voice all rough with sleep.  "What's all this?"

 

"Breakfast in bed," Mickey smiled, sitting down with the tray, facing the head of the bed so he was opposite Ian.  He placed the tray on Ian's lap.  There was a red rose bud in a little plastic vase, two mugs of black coffee, and a plate with two Pop Tarts on it.  Ian laughed softly. 

 

"You did all this for me?" Ian asked.

 

"Who else?" Mickey said, raising an eyebrow at him.  "Come on, eat up, it's gonna get cold."

 

Ian took a bite of one of the Pop Tarts.  Cherry, his favorite. 

 

"Mmmm, still warm," Ian said around the mouthful.  'Have one."

 

"Naw," Mickey said, "they're yours."

 

Ian held the Pop Tart he was munching on up to Mickey's mouth and raised an eyebrow of his own.  Mickey smiled and leaned in and took a bite.  "It's better to share," Ian smiled, taking a sip of his coffee.  They ate the Pop Tarts together and drank their coffee. 

 

"The flower's really pretty," Ian said, holding it up to his nose after the Pop Tarts were gone.  Mickey couldn't help but notice the bud was the exact color of Ian's lips.  He bit down on his own lower lip while staring.  "Romantic, too," Ian said, giving Mickey the big eyes.

 

"I stole the idea from you," Mickey mumbled, clearly embarrassed at having his softer side called out.

 

Ian barked out a laugh.  "I thought you were going to say you stole the flower."

 

Mickey laughed softly.  "Yeah.  No, bought it legit-although if anyone around here grew flowers, that would've been my first impulse.  But, nope, walked into a real florist shop for the first time ever and waited till all the other customers had left before I could even try to tell the guy what I wanted-it was like the first time I bought condoms."

 

Ian shook his head affectionately and, holding onto the tray so the things on it wouldn't tip over, he reached out with his other hand and put it on the back of Mickey's neck, pulling him into a soft kiss that tasted like coffee and cherry.  "It's beautiful and I love it.  Thank you," Ian said after the kiss, keeping his forehead pressed against Mickey's. 

 

"Happy birthday, Ian.  Nineteen looks good on you."  Ian had woken up with sex hair and a trace of stubble even though he had shaved before his shift at the club the night before.  He was also starting to get some hair on his chest that Mickey not so secretly loved.  Mickey, despite being over a year older, could still go days without shaving and nothing would crop up on his chin but some baby fine light soft hairs, and he was beginning to think that when it came to his chest, he was destined to be a hairless wonder.  That was okay with Ian, though.  He loved the feeling of Mickey's warm, smooth skin. 

 

"So far, I'm liking nineteen a lot," Ian smiled.  "Pretty sure this is the best present I'll get today."  They were all going to Fiona's in the afternoon for a pool party, even Svetlana and Nika.  Yev was excited to get to use his floaties again.  They had a little wading pool for him at Mickey's, but this was going to be the first time since the lake that he'd be in water deep enough to paddle around in. 

 

"This isn't your present," Mickey said, leaning way over the side of the bed and pulling out a wrapped box with a big blue bow from underneath.  "That was just breakfast.  This is your present."  Mickey took the tray off of Ian's lap and put it down on the end of the bed after putting the rose in its vase on the nightstand.  Then he picked up the box from where he had set it on the bed and handed it to Ian. 

 

Ian grinned and ripped into the silvery paper, and took the lid off the box.  He gasped slightly when he saw what was inside, it was a black leather jacket.  He pulled it out of the box, feeling how soft and supple the leather was. 

 

"Mick, this is...this is too nice, and it had to be expensive..."  Ian looked into Mickey's eyes.  'I can't take this..."

 

"Would you be quiet?  Off course you can take it, I gave it to you," Mickey said.  "Fall is coming, you need it to keep the cold and wind off ya." 

 

"But, Mickey..."

 

"No buts."

 

"I only gave you White Sox tickets."

 

"And we had a great time," Mickey said.  "Giving presents isn't about keeping score.  I want you to have this, just like you wanted to take me to that game."

 

"But it's too expens..." Ian tried.

 

"Didn't anyone teach you it's rude to talk about the price of things?  I've been making good money this summer, plus you wouldn't believe how much I've saved up by cutting back from a pack of smokes a day to a pack a week.  That alone made me a thousandaire."  He lowered his head and smiled at Ian in a flirty way.  "Besides, I'm going to get the added benefit of seeing how hot you look in that thing." 

 

Ian laughed and shook his head.  "In that case...thank you for the present, Mickey.  It's awesome."  He kissed Mickey again, and then put the jacket aside and really kissed Mickey, but before they could let things go too far, a pair of little hands banged on the door and Yev's voice called out, "Happy birthday, Een!  Get up!"  Ian and Mickey's kiss turned into smiles pressed against each other's lips and Mickey got up and opened the door.  Svetlana was holding Yev and Nika was right behind her, and they were all wearing paper birthday hats.

 

The ladies walked right in (Ian quickly made sure the sheet he was under was covering everything it needed to) and Nika put a hat on Ian, letting the elastic snap against his chin.  Svetlana put Yevgeny on his lap and he said, "Happy birthday, Een!" again.  Ian laughed and thanked him.

 

"All right, guys, let's let the birthday boy get up and get dressed," Mickey said from the doorway, smiling at the little scene in front of him. 

 

After Ian had a quick shower and got dressed, he came out to find everyone waiting at the table for him.  They had a blueberry muffin with a big candle stuck in it, and a couple of wrapped packages on the table.  Ian sat down and Svetlana offered him coffee, but he asked for water instead. Technically with his meds he should try to avoid caffeine all together, but the long hours he worked meant he allowed himself one cup a day, which he had already had with Mickey.  Svetlana grabbed him a bottle from the refrigerator and joined everyone at the table-the other adults already had their coffee and Yev had a sippy cup of organic apple juice.  They were all still wearing their party hats and now even Mickey was wearing one that Ian didn't dare make a big deal over-he didn't want him taking it off-but Ian would've killed to get a picture of Mickey wearing that with his phone...maybe he could persuade him to let him take one for his eyes only later. 

 

Mickey lit the candle and everyone sang Happy Birthday and Ian told Yev he made his wish, so could Yev blow out the candle?  Yev was only too happy to oblige and as soon as the flame was out his little voice said, "Again?"  So Mickey relit the candle, they sang again, and Yev blew it out again.  It was turning into their tradition. 

 

Svetlana got up and brought a plate with more muffins on it for everyone else over to the table.  She had made them herself and they were delicious.  After everyone ate their muffins, it was time for presents.  Ian asked them to hold on a minute and went to Mickey's room and came out wearing the leather jacket.  It molded to him perfectly.  The jacket was simple and elegant, it just had a small collar that folded down like lapels (but could be flipped up to keep the wind off of Ian's neck) and side pockets and a black zipper.  The sleeves were the perfect length, which to Ian was a big deal because with his long arms lots of jackets didn't have long enough sleeves; and the black looked striking against his pale skin and red hair. 

 

"Uh, this is what Mickey gave me..." Ian said, looking into Mickey's eyes.  Mickey's mouth had dropped open the minute Ian had walked back into the room.  Mickey knew Ian would look good in the jacket-he looked good in everything-but what Mickey wasn't prepared for was how damn hot he looked.  Mickey couldn't wait to feel that soft leather over Ian's hard muscles at some point very soon.  He might have to crank up their bedroom AC so Ian could leave it on for a while in there. 

 

Nika and Svetlana voiced their approval, and the look in Mickey's eyes was all Ian needed to know that Mickey liked how it looked on him too.  He unzipped the jacket and carefully put it over the back of his chair and sat down again to open his other presents. 

 

"I wish someone could help me open these..." Ian began.

 

"Me, me, me!" Yevgeny volunteered.  Mickey lifted him out of his high chair (the tray had been replaced while Ian was in the shower) and put his son on Ian's lap.  Ian read the card from the box Svetlana slid over to him first, it was from her and Nika.  Yev got the box unwrapped in record time, and lifted the top off so Ian could look inside.  They had gotten him a pair of leather sneakers, good ones, all black.

 

"For work at diner-you're on your feet all day," Nika said.

 

"Guys, these are great, thank you.  They're the nicest sneakers I've ever had," Ian said, sincerely grateful for the thoughtful gift.  After his discussion with Mickey about the cost of the jacket, he refrained from protesting that they spent too much, but he really felt they had.

 

"If they made ergonomic go-go dancing shoes we would've gotten you those, too," Svetlana said.  "Gotta keep your posture nice."  She wasn't even half-joking.

 

Each of the girls gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then Svetlana slid the other present in front of Ian and Yevgeny.  This one had Raggedy Ann and Andy wrapping paper on it, and Ian looked down into Yev's face and said, "Is this from you?"  Yev beamed a big smile at him and tore into it.  There wasn't any box, it was a bright red plastic picture frame with blue little handprints on the paper under the glass,  Tears sprung to Ian's eyes. 

 

"This is the most beautiful piece of art I've ever seen," Ian whispered hoarsely.  "You made this, Yev?  For me?" 

 

"For Een," Yevgeny told him, giving him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek.  Ian wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

 

"Damn, man, it's just finger paint," Mickey said, trying to lighten the mood.  He had no idea why Ian was so emotional. 

 

"It's...great.  I love it.  Yev, it's beautiful.  Thank you."  Ian kissed Yevgeny on the top of his head gently and gave him a soft squeeze around the middle.  "I'll treasure it forever." 

 

"Okay!"  Yev chirped happily. 

 

At noon they all piled into the car and drove over to Fiona’s. They had a great day, it was sunny and hot and everyone kept jumping into the pool to cool off. Yev loved swimming again and the twins and all the grownups had fun doing it too. Yevgeny didn’t even mind when he got accidently splashed in the face, which happened a lot with the rambunctious group that was using the pool at any given time.

 

“Kid’s tough, like a Milkovich,” Kevin said admiringly after one particularly big splash nailed Yev right in the face.

 

They spent the whole day out in the yard, the kids even napped out there on a blanket in the shade instead of going inside or home. They had hotdogs and burgers for lunch, and then did it all again for supper, and then when it was pretty much full dark, Svetlana said she should get Yev home. He kept fighting sleep, but he was drowsing on Ian’s lap and after a big day of fresh air and swimming, he was ready to give in. Mickey drove Svetlana and Nika and Yev home-people in the neighborhood knew not to mess with any of them unless they were prepared to face the full wrath of the entire Milkovich family-even the ones who had moved away-but Mickey figured why take chances? He drove them home plus went into the house to make sure everything was safe and secure before returning to Fiona’s.

 

When he got there and walked around to the back, he saw Ian talking to Lip and Mandy. They were all drinking beers. Lip saw Mickey before Ian did, and walked over to him.

 

“Hey, Mick, about Ian…I didn’t even think, I just offered him a beer…” Lip began, not sure what to say.

 

“What are you telling me for? I’m not his fucking keeper,” Mickey answered. He guessed he probably did look annoyed or something, but he wasn’t that, exactly. It had just surprised him to see Ian drinking a beer. Since he had come back into Mickey’s life he hadn’t had a single drink in front of him. They hadn’t talked about it. Mickey just figured that with the meds Ian was on, avoiding alcohol was probably recommended.

 

Ian walked over and joined them. “Yev go down all right?” Ian asked. Mickey nodded. Ian held out a beer to Mickey. “Want one?”

 

“Better not, I’ll still be driving home,” Mickey said. Ian nodded and put the open beer he was holding up on the side of the pool, and popped the cap off the new one and took a pull from the longneck. Mickey could see the bottle on the side of the pool was empty. More of Ian’s family came over to where they were standing and they all started talking about various topics. Ian had one more beer when he finished the one Mickey hadn’t wanted, and then he said they ought to get home.

 

They said their goodbyes and thank yous to everyone for the party and then Mickey drove him home. Ian was pretty tipsy, to say the least, and Mickey had to buckle his seatbelt for him and help him up the stairs when they got to Mickey’s. Once they were in the bedroom, Ian was all over Mickey. He kissed him pretty roughly and pushed him down on the bed. They made out for a few minutes, Ian’s tongue exploring all of Mickey’s mouth and then trailing down, licking all the places his tank top wasn’t covering. Mickey had a passing thought that his skin probably tasted like sunscreen, and maybe it wasn’t such a good idea for Ian to be licking that, but Ian was so into kissing him he didn’t have an opening to bring up that concern.

 

Ian started rutting into Mickey, but Mickey could feel nothing was happening down there for Ian.

 

“’Fraid you’re gonna have to do all th’ work tonight,” Ian slurred. “I’m fuckin’ hammered.”

 

Mickey laughed a little. “You think?” Ian grabbed at one of Mickey’s hands and tried to put it on his own dick.

 

“Hey, hey, Ian,” Mickey said, trying to get him to look at him. “It’s okay. We don’t have to do this tonight. I want you to be able to remember it, whenever we do that stuff.” Mickey was just amused, not mad or even _that_ disappointed, although he was human after all and would’ve enjoyed sex with his hot boyfriend if they could’ve had it.

 

“Sex with you is always memberable,” Ian said. Mickey got what he was trying to say. “Sex with Caleb ain’t…”

 

Mickey sort of froze on the bed under Ian. Ian looked into Mickey’s eyes. “Sex with Caleb is so vanilla.”

 

“Really,” Mickey said, his voice equal parts amused, intrigued, and whatever word means I don’t really want to hear about that jackass but if you have something less than flattering to say maybe I do, if there even is such a word.

 

“Yeah,” Ian breathed out heavily. “He always makes each of us shower first, separately, so there’s zero spottynay…spontin…spontaneity,” Ian managed to say. “And right before he comes, he has this ‘move’-he swivels his hips: one, two, three,” Ian swung his own hips from side to side, still over Mickey, “and then two final thrusts,” he poked Mickey in the stomach with his finger twice, “and then he’s done, no matter what point I’m at. Every. Single. Time. I used to hate it, because I found myself waiting to see if he’d do it again-really took me out of the moment, ya know?” Ian nodded drunkenly, agreeing with himself. “But then I got to the point where I liked it, since it meant shit would be over soon and I could get a shower and sleep or whatever.”

 

Mickey didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he should say anything. While he was thinking, something was happening to Ian, though.

 

“Oh, shit, Mickey…I’m gonna…”

 

“Oh, Christ,” Mickey said, scrambling to get out from under Ian so he could help him out of the bed. Mickey got him to the bathroom just in time. Ian fell to his knees, threw the toilet seat up, and proceeded to hurl everything he had eaten and drunk that day except maybe his breakfast into the bowl.

 

Mickey sat on the side of the tub, gently rubbing Ian’s back. After a while, when it seemed like Ian was finally done, Mickey walked to the kitchen and brought him back a bottle of water. Ian took a swig and swirled it around his mouth, then spit it into the toilet.

 

“Thanks,” he muttered. “Uh, think I’ll grab a quick shower.”

 

Mickey nodded and left the room, he knew Ian hated it when he acted like he was being a nurse. He’d just have to count on Ian to realize there was aspirin and Tylenol in the cabinet behind the mirror.

 

Mickey went and lay back on the bed. After he heard the shower shut off he heard Ian brushing his teeth. Then Ian came walking in, popping some aspirin into his mouth and taking a gulp from the water bottle. He looked at Mickey sheepishly and got back on the bed.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

“Don’t be-it happens,” Mickey said.

 

“Yeah, but I should’ve known better,” Ian said. “Even beer with my meds fucks everything up…”

 

“Hey, Ian, it’s your birthday. You were entitled to let loose, it’s okay.”

 

“Yeah, but birthday sex would’ve been great, and I just don’t think I’m there.” Ian sounded crestfallen.

 

“It’s okay, man. There’s always tomorrow night-or tomorrow morning, maybe.” Mickey smiled at Ian, but Ian wasn’t looking at him.

 

“Hey, um, I’m sorry about what I was saying, before…” Ian said quietly.

 

“It’s okay, Ian, whatever.”

 

“It just came out…I know it’s not cool to talk about one guy with another.”

 

There was something in Ian’s voice that made Mickey think Ian probably did want to talk about it, and he had to admit, he was kind of curious.

 

“You can tell me anything, you know that,” Mickey said softly.

 

Ian took in a deep breath and sighed. “Just, what I was saying before-I’d never say anything about you to him, but, sometimes, I do wish I could just tell you everything,” he said.

 

Mickey’s eyebrows went up. He wished Ian would tell him everything too, he thought. He hoped. Hopefully nothing Ian would tell him would be more than he could take.

 

“Sounds like you need someone to talk to, Ian. I’ll listen, if you want.” It was the best Mickey could promise. He wanted to add something about not judging or not getting upset, but he didn’t know if that’d be true.

 

Ian finally looked at him in the low light coming from the one light they had on in the room over on Mickey’s desk.

 

“Just tell me when to shut up, okay?” Ian smiled a little at that thought. Mickey used to think nothing of telling him to shut up, or shut the fuck up, but nowadays Ian could tell he was trying to never be abrupt with him anymore. He wouldn’t mind it if Mickey would be more himself around Ian, but maybe it wasn’t because of Ian’s disorder, maybe Mickey was able to let his guard down since Terry was gone and he wasn’t as uptight with people in general.

 

Ian was being so quiet that Mickey started to think maybe he had changed his mind, but then Ian said quietly, “I meant what I was saying-the sex with…him, isn’t all that great. It’s more like it’s just exercise. Going for a run makes me feel good, but it’s not something I think about during work, I don’t get that smile on my face anticipating it, you know?”

 

Mickey was watching Ian’s face, a smile was spreading across there as he spoke, so Mickey asked, “Do I do that for you? Getting you thinking at work and anticipating?”

 

Ian nodded, so serious. He looked right into Mickey’s eyes. Mickey nodded back.

 

“There are days I think I’m going to explode if I don’t get inside you,” Ian said, and Mickey blushed.

 

“But, uh, you don’t feel like that for…?”

 

Ian snorted. “Nope. I wouldn’t even know what that feels like, he only tops.”

 

Mickey didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say anything.

 

“He, uh, he says I’m too,” Ian cleared his throat, “I’m too big for him to take or blow.”

 

Mickey couldn’t help it, he was amused now. Ian is big, that’s part of his considerable charm. This guy didn’t know what he was missing.

 

“He won’t even blow you?” Mickey finally had to blurt out. “Not even just the tip?” His brothers had talked about some girls being like that about size, but they were always willing to try something to make it up…

 

“Not only that, but he’d even give up on using his hand if I didn’t come right away. He’ll spend two hours polishing engine parts in a car they never drive, but if it took me longer than ten minutes to come, he’ll get bored and give up. I’d just go to the shower and finish myself,” Ian said.

 

Mickey wondered if Ian thought about him during those times, but couldn’t bring himself to ask, so he asked about the car instead.

 

“What’s that about a car they never drive?” he said.

 

“His dad’s got this vintage 67 Camaro he’s restored, and Caleb is into it too. At first I thought that sounded really cool-can you imagine me and Frank having something we both liked doing together?” Ian smiled and shook his head. “I was picturing all this father-son bonding, but it’s just…Like, they took me to a car show once. And at first, it’s pretty impressive, all these 67 Camaros parked in a field with their hoods up. But then you start walking around and you realize they’re all exactly the same, and everyone tows their cars to the shows and never drives them. One hundred and fifty cars in mint condition, and they’re just to look at. We stayed the whole day, I was falling asleep on my feet from boredom. And when he and his dad work on the car, they don’t talk much, and whatever they do say is about the car.”

 

Mickey wondered why Ian spent any time, let alone so much time, with this guy. But again, he didn’t really want to ask. He didn’t know if he could handle the answer.

 

“Hey, Mickey?”

 

“Yeah, Ian?”

 

“I think I’m still sorta drunk,” Ian said.

 

Mickey smiled. “No shit.” Then the smile left his face. “You gonna be sick again?”

 

“No, just sleepy now,” Ian murmured, snuggling down onto the pillow, his face pressed against Mickey’s hip, since Mickey was still sitting up against the headboard.

 

“Yeah, get some sleep,” Mickey said softly, placing his hand gently on Ian’s hair. He looked down at him best he could from his angle. “Happy birthday,” he told him one last time, figuring Ian was asleep and wouldn’t even hear it.

 

“Thanks, Mick,” Ian said, awake after all, kissing Mickey’s hip, well, the material from his boxers covering it, to be exact.

 

 

The summer slipped away-Ian didn’t bring up Caleb again and Mickey just tried not to think about him ever-he thought that had been working out pretty good so far, so he just stuck with it.

 

In late September it was finally turning truly cooler, and Mickey’s crazy work schedule finally settled back to something more normal. And he was taking two more classes but now that he had a whole semester’s worth of time to do all the work, it seemed easier. Ian’s hair was turning a darker shade of red, and Yevgeny seemed to be learning more and doing more every day.

 

One afternoon Mickey got a text while he was at his job. It was from Ian and merely said: Won’t be @ club tonite-sick. Mickey tried calling Ian, but his phone was going straight to voice mail. Mickey swore under his breath and called Fiona instead.

 

“Hey, Mickey, what’s up?” Fiona answered. Mickey had given her his new number once he and Ian started seeing each other again, and he had kept hers in his phone too, neither one of them acknowledging it-not even willing to go so far as to utter the words “just in case”.

 

“Is Ian at your house?”

 

“Yeah…” Fiona didn’t know where Mickey was going with this, but she was instantly on the alert. She was currently at the diner, so she wondered if Mickey knew something she didn’t.

 

“He texted me that he’s sick,” Mickey said, unable to sound completely calm.

 

“Oh! Oh, Mickey, yeah, don’t worry, he really is sick. Sick sick. He’s got the flu, I think.”

 

“He seemed fine last night,” Mickey didn’t mean to bark, but he couldn’t help it. Ian had left for the diner while Mickey was still asleep that morning, so Mickey didn’t know how he seemed then.

 

“Well, he showed up here looking green. He barely made it to the john and puked and then I sent him home,” Fiona reported. “He had a fever and chills and everything, Mickey. The whole TV commercial list of symptoms.”

 

“Who’s with him?” Mickey demanded.

 

“Huh? Now? No one, the kids are all in school,” Fiona said.

 

“I’m going to your place, he shouldn’t be by himself,” Mickey said.

 

“Mickey, he doesn’t want you catching it, and no one’s there to let you in. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t come downstairs even if he heard you knock,” Fiona tried to reason with him.

 

“I’ve been with him already, if I’m gonna catch it I probably already have,” Mickey said. “And I’ll come get your key-or I’ll break in.”

 

“No, please don’t do that, you can have my key,” Fiona said. “Although then you’ll have to come back here and give it to me, don’t you have a class tonight?”

 

“Fuck that-I’ll stay with Ian till you or Debbie gets home to keep an eye on him.”

 

Fiona didn’t bother to argue. Mickey got to the diner and got her key. He was in a hurry, but he had to ask one thing. “Is he, uh, taking his meds?” Mickey thumbed at his lower lip waiting for Fiona’s answer. She could see he looked truly scared.

 

“I don’t think so-I mean, I’m sure he took them this morning-I saw him take them when he got here, but I’m sure they came right back up since he threw up about three minutes later. But, Mickey, don’t worry, it’s not like before. He’s been on this set for a while now, and they build up in his system. Missing a few days won’t make him…like he got that time.” Fiona’s big brown eyes were full of reassurance. Mickey shocked the hell out of her by giving her a quick hug and a mumbled “thanks” before he took off out the door.

 

Mickey made one quick stop before going to the Gallaghers’ and then let himself in with Fiona’s key. He put the container he was carrying down on the kitchen counter and found a bowl and a spoon and poured some of the chicken soup he had picked up into the bowl. It was still pretty hot, he sort of drove like a maniac to get to the house.

 

He quietly walked upstairs and poked his head into Ian’s room. Ian was lying on his old twin bed, his eyes closed. Mickey was about to tiptoe back out, but Ian mumbled, “Mickey? How did you get in here? What are you doing here? ‘M sick, stay away.”

 

Mickey walked further into the room. Keeping his voice quiet he said, “Hey, Fiona told me how sick you are-I just wanted to bring you some chicken soup.” Ian pulled the blanket up over his head and moaned. “You don’t have to eat,” Mickey said quickly, “but at least have some broth-you don’t want to get dehydrated.”

 

“Kay,” Ian croaked out.   “But, leave it on the floor or something. If you catch this, Yevgeny will catch it, and we can’t have that.”

 

Mickey’s eyes were drawn to the wall next to Ian’s pillow, where he had hung the framed picture of Yev’s handprints right where he’d see them first thing when he woke up at home.

 

“Ian, we’ve been together every night this week-I’m pretty sure that’s when you were contagious. I’ll be fine. I won’t touch Yevgeny when I get home until after I take a shower.” Ian didn’t say anything else, so Mickey walked over to the bed.

 

Mickey stopped at the side of the bed.  Ian looked terrible, his face was paler than normal, his eyes glassy, and he just looked like he ached everywhere.  Mickey put the back of his hand on his forehead-it was hot, but not alarmingly so.  Ian just closed his eyes, he appreciated the feeling of Mickey's hand there, but was too weak to say so. 

 

"So, here, Mickey said, "try a little of the broth, okay?"  He kept his voice soft.

 

Ian struggled to get into more of a sitting position and took the bowl from Mickey.  He tentatively sipped in a bit of the broth then waited to see if his stomach was going to have a problem with it.  It seemed to be okay, and the broth going down Ian's sore throat felt good.  He took a few more spoonfuls, going slowly.  Mickey looked around the room and figured the only place to sit down was on the bottom bunk of the beds Liam and Carl used, so he sat over there.  He didn't want to hover over Ian, or stare at him while he ate.  So he busied himself looking around the familiar room. 

 

After a couple minutes, Ian's voice croaked, "Thanks, Mick.  I think that's all I can handle right now."  Mickey got up and took the bowl back from him, Ian had gotten most of the broth but left the chicken and noodles and vegetables untouched.  It was a good enough start. 

 

"I'll just go put the bowl away and come back up," Mickey said.  Ian wanted to protest, but he was too weak and tired.  "Do you want me to bring you anything?  I got saltines and ginger ale at the deli too, and there's more chicken soup in the fridge if you want me to get more broth..." 

 

Ian shook his head no and got back under the covers more. 

 

When Mickey came back up after washing the bowl and spoon, Ian was sleeping.  Mickey sat back on the lower bunk and shot a text off to Svetlana, telling her Ian had the flu and he'd be at the Gallaghers' if she needed him for any reason.  Svetlana hadn't been expecting Mickey to be home between work and his class that night, so there was no scheduling conflict with Yev.  He'd be at the sitter's till Svetlana and Nika picked him up. 

 

Mickey spent a couple minutes looking for flu advice on his phone, but all the sites' advice seemed to boil down to plenty of rest and liquids, so he put his phone away.  He looked around, wondering if there were any magazines he could flip through to pass the time.  He looked under the bed and sure enough there was a stack of magazines there, along with a bunch of other mess.  Mickey got on his knees and slid out the magazines, but they must've all been Carl's-Mickey hadn't seen so many titty magazines in one place since his brothers discovered the internet.  Mickey went through the pile anyway, hoping there might be a Sports Illustrated hidden in there somewhere, but the best he could come up with was an Archie comic book.  Better than nothing-or tits-he decided, and shoved the rest of the stack under the bed and sat down with the comic book. 

 

After about an hour, Ian stirred back to life.  Mickey had been done with the comic book for a long time, and if he had been staring at Ian as he slept, well, what else was there for him to do? 

 

"You still here?" Ian mumbled.  "Mickey, go home." 

 

"I will, later, when Yev's home," Mickey promised.

 

Ian sighed.  "I'm feeling better, the broth helped."  


"Well, you still look and sound like shit, so I'll just stick around a bit."  Mickey wished Ian would stop wasting his energy trying to get Mickey to do something he had no intention of doing.

 

"I gotta take a piss," Ian said, realizing why his body woke him up.  Mickey knew Ian wouldn't like it if he offered to help him up, so he just stayed where he was discretely keeping an eye on Ian and ready to jump up and steady him if need be.  Ian wasn't going to set any records getting to the bathroom, but he did manage to get upright and shuffle out of the room.  When he was back and getting into his bed again he said to Mickey, "I think I could eat some more of that broth, if you wouldn't mind getting it." 

 

"Of course, I'll be right back."

 

Mickey heated up some of just the broth in the microwave and brought it up to Ian.  He ate it all and gave the bowl back to Mickey again.  "Thanks," he said, looking up into Mickey's eyes as he took the bowl. 

 

Mickey blushed.  "Get some more sleep," he told Ian, placing the back of his hand on his forehead again.  "You're still feverish." 

 

"Kay, Mick," Ian yawned. 

 

Mickey stayed till after Fiona got home.  "He, uh, still didn't take any of his pills, and didn't really eat anything, but he had some chicken broth, and there's more of that in the fridge," he reported.  "He's mostly been sleeping."

 

Fiona smiled.  "That's the best thing for him right now, he just needs time to get better.  Thanks for everything you did for him." 

 

"Uh, what time should I come back tomorrow?" Mickey asked.  Fiona knew better than to argue. 

 

"I don't have to be at the diner till the dinner rush tomorrow, and Debs will be home before that, so why don't you go to work and just come anytime after that?"

 

The next day, Mickey had a hard time staying away, but Fiona texted him that Ian ate some of the chicken soup, including the non-broth ingredients this time, and that he took his pills.  Mickey was able to get through his work day without snapping at anyone to fuck off thanks to that.  He went to Fiona's after work and Ian was looking better, his color was coming back to his cheeks and his eyes were less glassy, but he was still incredibly tired and fell asleep about fifteen minutes after eating more soup for supper.  Mickey stuck around for about an hour after that, but then decided he might as well go to his class.  Debbie would keep a close eye on Ian, so he'd be in good hands. 

 

The third day Mickey only worked in the morning and asked if he could have the afternoon off.  His boss knew how reliable Mickey had been working all the summer hours and had no problem cutting him loose.  Mickey stopped by his house to get something for Ian he had started before work and then headed to Fiona's.  She let him in when he got there, she still didn't have to be at work for another hour, which was information she had given Mickey in a text the night before. 

 

She gave Mickey a big smile.  "He's doing much better, Mickey.  He took a shower and let me change his sheets today and everything.  Watcha got there?" she asked, nodding at the plastic covered bowl he was carrying. 

 

"Jello," Mickey said simply.  Fiona's big brown eyes got even bigger. 

 

"You made Ian Jello?" she asked, disbelief ringing in her voice. 

 

Mickey shot her the eyebrows.  "Uh, yeah...what's the big deal?  You boil water and stir-the fridge does the rest of the work."

 

"Okay, Mickey, sure," she said, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice.  Mickey Milkovich made his boyfriend some Jello, would wonders never cease? 

 

"Think he'll want some now?" Mickey asked.

 

"Oh yeah, I think he'll want some of your Jello as quick as possible," Fiona said, leading Mickey to the kitchen and getting out some spoons while he got a cereal bowl. 

 

Mickey dished some out, and put the plastic wrap back over the top, and stuck the big bowl in the refrigerator.  "Tell Carl if he touches this, I'll fucking kill him," Mickey said, dead serious.  "And, uh, that goes for you and Debbie and Liam too, just maybe not with the swearing." 

 

Fiona laughed.  "I'll put a post-it note on it before I go.  Don't worry, your gelatin is safe with us." 

 

Mickey muttered "whatever" and "have a nice day at work" and took off upstairs to see Ian. 

 

Ian was sitting up against some pillows, reading a Sports Illustrated when Mickey poked his head around the door.  "Hey, Mick, come on in." Ian smiled.

 

"Where'd you get that?" Mickey indicated the magazine.  "The other day all I could find was Carl's porn stash and one lousy Archie comic." 

 

"Fiona brought it home for me," Ian said.  "Whatcha got there?"  Ian was eyeing the bowl with interest, his appetite was definitely back. 

 

"I, uh, I made you some Jello."

 

Ian's eyebrows went way up.  " _You_ made me some Jello?" 

 

"Why does everyone keep making a deal out of it?"  Mickey grumbled.  "Haven't any of you people ever seen Jello being made?"

 

"It's just...you can buy already-made Jello, Mickey.  They make it in little cups now," Ian laughed.    


"Not the cherry they don't," Mickey said.  "The red's always strawberry, and you don't like green Jello, Tough Guy."   

 

Ian's eyes lit up.  "You made me cherry?" 

 

Mickey smiled and handed over the bowl.  Ian ate it right up.  "Is there more?" he asked, when he had licked the spoon clean. 

 

"Yeah, let me get you some." 

 

"No, that's okay," Ian said.  "I'm sick of being in bed.  Let's go downstairs and play video games or something-after I have more Jello." 

 

And just like that, Ian was all better.  He stayed away from Mickey's house for another day, just to be sure, and he wouldn't let Mickey kiss him or so much as hug him till then, but no one else caught the flu and he was able to go back to work and hanging out with Mickey, and Yev had missed him and hugged him hard when he finally got to see him again and even let Ian use the green train when they played, which was his special favorite. 

 

 

About a week later, Chicago was graced with a few days of Indian Summer.  Even though the nights had been cold enough to bring frost warnings for a couple of weeks, all of the sudden the thermometer started hitting the seventies and eighties again and sandals and shorts were dug out of closets they had been flung into and everyone was enjoying the last gasp of warmth before it disappeared again.

 

Caleb and one of the guys from his crew went to an outdoor café downtown for lunch on one of their days off.  When they were leaving, they both happened to glance across the street to a park where a man was hawking balloons, his calls drawing their attention.  Sitting on a park bench near the balloon man was a red headed man with a small child on his lap. 

 

Caleb's friend Joe asked, "Hey, isn't that Ian?" nodding towards the bench.  Caleb hadn't noticed them yet, but sure enough, that was Ian.  Joe and all the members of Caleb's crew had met him quite a few times, at squad barbeques and stuff.  Even the straight guys noticed and remembered Ian, it was one of the things Caleb liked best about him.  He was good looking and he stood out, and drew attention to both of them.  It was probably the main reason Caleb kept him around after finding out-and slightly freaking out-about how young he was.  He always just told people who commented that Ian was older than he looked, and he told his mom Ian was legal, knowing she'd think he was referring to the drinking age but he could always cover his ass later if the truth came out by telling her he just meant age of consent. 

 

Caleb nodded to his friend and tried to get a better look at the little kid with him.

 

"Is that one of his brothers?" Joe asked, having a vague recollection of Ian mentioning a large family. 

 

Caleb shrugged.  "I'm not sure, I didn't think any of the younger ones were that little, but maybe?"  Ian didn't talk about his family much, other than to say he was somewhere in the middle of six kids, and Caleb had only met the older ones, and had never been to Ian's house.  He had met Fiona a few times at the diner, but he couldn't say he was impressed by her.  She always seemed too harried and in the middle of some drama, Caleb didn't want to be drawn into her chaotic life.  And Ian's older brother?  Caleb was not a fan at all.  They had only met once, almost a year ago it must have been, by chance, on the street.  Caleb and Ian had just left a movie and bumped into Lip on the sidewalk heading in the opposite direction.  Ian had introduced them and Lip stuck out his hand for a handshake, which Caleb turned into a feat of strength, since the one thing Ian ever said about his brother was how smart he was.  Caleb wanted to be sure he got the message that he was superior in his own ways.  Lip took his hand away and flexed his fingers for a second, giving Caleb a "what the fuck, asshole?" look, and, keeping his eyes on Caleb the whole time, told them he and Mandy-whoever the hell that was-were going to a club to hear a local band that was actually starting to get some national attention, they were pretty good, did Ian and Caleb want to join them?  Ian started to answer, but Caleb threw his arm around Ian's neck and pulled him close.

 

"Actually, we have plans," Caleb said.  Ian looked at him in confusion-they had just been discussing what they might go do next when they were walking out of the theater, and wishing they could come up with something.  Caleb just gave him a look.  So what if his plan was to go home and have Ian suck him off and he just came up with it-it was still a plan. 

 

"Oh," Ian said, sounding and looking disappointed.  "Some other time, I guess, Lip."  Caleb tugged on him tighter, wishing he'd just play it cool and not look so crestfallen.  His brother might pick up on it.  

 

Lip totally picked up on it.  Even if he hadn't known Ian his whole life, he would've picked up on it.  What was with this asshole anyway?  Why was he being so possessive of Ian in front of his brother?  He wasn't a rival.  Jesus. 

 

"Well, later," Lip said, starting to walk off with a wave.  He didn't want to risk shaking hands again.  Ian tried nodding as well as he could with Caleb's arm still around him in that choke hold. 

 

"See ya, Lip," Ian said.  Caleb didn't say anything. 

 

When Lip got to the end of the block and was turning to head up the next street, he looked back and saw that Caleb had dropped his arm from around Ian and they were still standing in the same spot and it looked like Ian was asking him something.  Caleb just put his hands up and shrugged, like he didn't want to explain himself to Ian.  Lip's eyes narrowed.  If he had to guess, he'd say his brother was asking the guy about the plans he obviously knew nothing about.  Lip took out his phone and sent off a text to Ian, asking him to come to the apartment for dinner with him and Mandy the next night he was free, he wanted to ask him something.  Lip had been wondering about asking Ian if he could give his number to Mickey for a while, now having met the person Ian was spending so much of his time with, he was more convinced than ever that Ian needed to be around other people too. 

 

Back on this sidewalk with Joe, Caleb was wondering who the kid was, he looked like he couldn't be much older than two years old, and Caleb was pretty sure he would've remembered Ian listing a kid that young among his siblings.  Ian had told him all their names and ages, he just didn't pay attention, but an almost-baby would've stuck out, right?  Ian sure seemed into the kid, they were talking and Ian was listening to everything the kid had to say, and the kid kept leaning his head all the way back to look up at Ian, since he was sitting on his lap facing forward. 

 

"Should we go say Hi?" Joe asked, and Caleb looked to see how far it'd be to the closest crosswalk, or if they should just try to dodge around cars in the four lanes between them and the park when the kid on Ian's lap started to bounce up and down and kick his legs out excitedly.  Caleb's eyes narrowed as he saw a man approaching them.  He presented the kid with an ice cream cone when he got to them, kissing the boy on his hair as he handed it over.  But Caleb barely registered that, what he was staring at was Ian's face.  It had lit up the instant he saw the man, and his entire face was just glowing.  Ian watched the dark-haired man with unabashed affection as he kissed the boy's head, and then the man kissed Ian, quickly but softly on the lips, and Ian looked even more happy. 

 

"Who's that dude?" Joe asked.

 

"Beats me," Caleb said.  "But that must be his kid, I guess.  Come on, I'll talk to Ian some other time."  He didn't care that Joe had seen Ian with another guy, Joe had seen Caleb out with other guys lots of times.  Joe was straight but single too, and they both saw plenty of action, using their firefighter status to full advantage when it came to sexual conquests. 

 

October arrived and brought back the more seasonal weather, and Ian and Mickey were back into their routine, the only difference this fall being that Ian spent more time at Mickey's than he had when they had first got back together.  One night Mickey was in his usual quiet spot in the club, Ian was on one of the boxes dancing in his little gold shorts, and the bouncer at the door radioed to the manager that they just had a "short bus" pull up, which was their code for a party bus full of already drunk assholes, and at least some of them were straight, the doorman added. 

 

"Pink or blue?" the manager radioed back.  "Pink" would mean a bunch of women, usually a bachelorette party. 

 

"Blue-big dudes too, most of them.  But probably at least fifty-fifty gay."

 

"Trouble?" 

 

"They seem just happy now, but there are a lot of them and they've already been partying." 

 

"All right, it's been a slow night.  Let 'em in, but all floor security be on high alert-and maybe someone tell Mickey too," the manager radioed back. 

 

The doorman let them in, and they descended all over the dance floor like beetles escaping from under an overturned rock.  Lots of guys headed right to the bar, but since to a man they were all already drunk, a lot of them just started to dance, or to ogle the go-go dancers on the risers. 

 

Paulie was going to go over and give Mickey a head's up, but as usual, he had his eye on things from the moment the guys walked in the door.  These guys seemed harmless enough.  Not the usual Fairy Tail type, they were clearly out slumming, but hey, it's good to experience other cultures.  Mickey was willing to live and let live. 

 

Ian wasn't paying any attention to the customers, he rarely did.  He was lost in his own world, listening to the music and just counting down the minutes till his break, when he could go sit with Mickey out in his car and eat his dinner and hopefully-well, who was he kidding-definitely make out for a bit. 

 

A bunch of the guys seemed to be yelling something at Miguel, so Mickey got up to see what was going on over there.  They were yelling how it was one of the guys' bachelor party, and he should be entitled to a free drink-all the other clubs they had hit that night gave them a freebie. 

 

"He's marrying another dude, dude, where's your support?" one of the drunks yelled right in Miguel's face.  Miguel just rolled his eyes, squirted some Sprite into a glass, stuck a rainbow umbrella in it, and handed it over.  The groom to be took a sip and nodded.  "That's some good shit."  He was so drunk he didn't even notice the drink was alcohol free. 

 

Everyone was clapping him on the back and started ordering drinks, so Mickey just sat at the end of the bar.  Miguel came down and took his laptop from him and gave him a Roy Rogers and a wink, and stuck the laptop under the bar in a safe spot. 

 

Suddenly a voice boomed even louder than the music.  "CALEB!  Get the fuck over here!  Look who's here!" 

 

Mickey's eyes went straight to Ian's spot, and sure enough, a whole bunch of the guys from the party bus were surrounding him, looking up.  They pulled the guy who had just come walking over to the front, and shoved him towards the tiny stage.  Ian looked down and stopped dancing, his mouth dropping open in shock.  Caleb was staring back up at him, a cruel look of amusement on his face. 

 

Ian could make out some of what the guys around Caleb were saying-it was mostly surprised questions asking Caleb if he knew Ian worked there.  Caleb never took his eyes off Ian and just shook his head.  "I mean, I knew he worked at a club somewhere, but doing this in a place like this?  I did not know." 

 

Ian shot him a look.  He wondered if he should say something, but decided he didn't want to, and jumped down off the stage and tried to walk back towards the bar.  Caleb put his hand out and stopped him by grabbing Ian's arm.

 

"Honestly, Ian.  I forgot where you said you worked.  When the guys wanted to bring Louie's party to Boystown, it never occurred to me we might wind up seeing you in such a dive," Caleb said, sounding just drunk enough to make it plausible.  Ian looked down at Caleb's hand and then looked back up at him pointedly.  Caleb dropped his hand, and it was a good thing too, since three bouncers were converging on him.  Ian walked off towards the bar without saying a word.

 

"Hey, don't go away!  I'm talking to you!"  Caleb yelled at his back.  "How much to buy Louie a lap dance?"  All the guys around him laughed. 

 

Ian got to the bar and walked down to where Mickey was sitting.  Miguel handed him a bottled water and before Mickey had the chance to say anything, Caleb was behind Ian, a bunch of his friends in tow, they didn't want to miss the scene.  Ian didn't turn around to even acknowledge his presence, and he said to Mickey, "Don't do anything."  He had to say it loud enough for Mickey to hear over the music, so Caleb heard it too. 

 

"Why would this fuck do anything?" Caleb slurred.  Mickey stood up, but kept his eyes on Ian.  Caleb got a better look at him.  "Hey!  You're the asshole from the park!  Joe-where's Joe?  Ain't this the asshole from the park?"  Caleb didn't wait for an answer from Joe, wherever he might have been in the crowd, he just swung a punch around Ian and it landed squarely on Mickey's jaw.  Mickey sat down hard on the barstool, momentarily stunned, but didn't react.  He looked from the big jerk to Ian. 

 

"Is that Caleb?" Mickey asked, surprised.  When Ian told him Caleb couldn't handle his cock, Mickey was picturing a much smaller guy.  This guy was at least two or three inches taller than Ian, even.  Mickey chuckled to himself.  He wished he could tell Svetlana and Mandy about this pussy, but it was Ian's story to tell, his decision who to share it with. 

 

"What, got nothing to say to me?" Caleb yelled.  No one was sure who he was talking to-Mickey or Ian.  Mickey just stayed seated, looking at Ian.  It was up to him.  If he wanted Mickey to beat the fuck out of this guy, he would, but if Ian wanted Mickey to keep the peace, he'd do that too. 

 

Caleb put his hand on Ian and spun him around.  Mickey's peace keeping resolve started to slip, but just then the music shut off and the lights came up and all the dancers and bouncers had converged in a circle around Caleb's group. 

 

"I think it's time for you gentlemen to leave," Paulie said. 

 

"Why?  We haven't done anything," one of the firefighters said.  All the men out for this party were from Caleb's fire house, Ian realized as he looked around.  He had met all of them at one point or another. 

 

"This one hit Mickey!" one of the dancers yelled.  Mickey gave him a wink, the dancer defending his honor was one of the slightest, gentlest dancers they had.  Mickey secretly had nicknamed him "Bambi" but his stage name was Patrick-which he had picked because of Patrick Swayze from Dirty Dancing.  

 

"We're not gonna dance for you, so you might as well leave," another one said.  All the dancers yelled various versions of agreement. 

 

"Fuck yeah!" Bambi added, at the very end. 

 

Caleb just snorted.  "Yeah, well, it's not my night to be with you anyway.  Go gentle on him," he sarcastically added to Mickey as he started to walk away.  The dancers parted to make a path that only led to the door for the party group to walk through. 

 

Once the last guy had gotten out the door, the Fairy Tail employees and other patrons let out a cheer.  Miguel said to his bar back, "Toni, get Mickey here a ziplock baggie of ice."  Toni did as he was told in seconds flat and Miguel wrapped the bag in a clean bar towel so Mickey could put it on his jaw.  The lights went down again and the DJ played Kung Fu Fighting and the little crowd roared and everyone went back to having a good time. 

 

"You okay?" Ian yelled over the music, into Mickey's ear. 

 

"Oh yeah.  I've gotten harder hand jobs than that," Mickey grinned.  Ian barked out a surprised laugh.  He delicately kissed Mickey on the lips, so he wouldn't put any pressure on Mickey's jaw. 

 

The next day Ian rang the doorbell at Caleb's house.  Caleb's mom answered the door.

 

"Ian!  Why did you ring the bell-did you lose your key?" she asked.

 

"No, Mrs. Stevenson, I have it right here, I want to give it back to you.  Is Caleb home?" Ian asked, pressing the key into her hand. 

 

"He just ran to the auto parts store with his dad, but they should be back any minute..."

 

"Thanks," Ian said.  It didn't matter whether Caleb was there or not, he was going to get his things, but it would be easier to get talking to Caleb over with this trip.  "I'll just wait for him is his room, if that's okay," Ian said.

 

"Of course, dear.  Do you want anything?  Coffee, water?"

 

"No thanks," Ian said, walking towards the hall that would bring him to Caleb's room.  He had an empty duffle bag with him. He stepped through Caleb’s door and took a last look around the room. It was big and sunny and on one wall there were shelves covered in trophies, everything from Little League and high school sports and then they changed to car trophies.  Ian threw the few items of clothing he had left there into the bag, and then went into the bathroom to collect his shaving stuff and deodorant he kept in there.  He tossed his toothbrush in the trash-he hadn't used it much in the past few months, but it wasn't worth bringing home. 

 

When he walked back into the bedroom, Caleb was there.  Ian walked over to his bag on the bed and dumped the toiletries into it.

 

"I saw the cab waiting outside, and Mom told me you were in here. Baby, what's this?" Caleb said in a cajoling voice.  "Hey, I'm sorry we embarrassed you last night-you knew we were going on a club crawl for Louie's bachelor party...it was an honest mistake."

Ian took a deep breath.  He wasn't even mad, he was just tired of Caleb and ready to be done here. 

 

When Ian didn't say anything to his "apology", Caleb tried a different tack. 

 

"My mom said you gave her your key, you can't be serious.  You know we're good together, you like staying here."

 

Ian wondered at the self-delusion.  Had Caleb always been this way?  Last night Ian was willing to write off his suddenly not knowing where Ian worked to how drunk he was, but today?

 

"Caleb, I only ever stayed here because you live so far from the El.  If I wanted to leave after we came back here, you'd either have to drive me-which you never felt like doing after sex-or I would've had to try to get a cab to come out here in the middle of the night to bring me to the El or a bus stop and that would've been expensive.  Staying over and giving your mom fifty dollars a week was the easier option," Ian said.  Caleb knew all this-it was the pitch he used to get Ian to start staying there in the first place. 

 

"Baby, don't be this way.  I know what we can do-why don't you put on the guyliner and those booty shorts and dance for me here in my room tonight?  And then let me fuck you, real hard.  We can pretend we just met at the club and I don't even know your name."

 

Ian couldn't believe his ears.  First off all, what was with him calling him "Baby" all of the sudden, but more importantly-“What, so you can cheat on me WITH me? No thanks,” Ian said.

 

“What do you mean, ‘cheat’? We’re not exclusive, plus, if anything you're the one who is being disloyal," Caleb said, starting to lose his cool and forgetting about trying to sweet talk Ian into staying all together.

 

"What the fuck does that mean?" Ian said.

 

"I saw you, with that guy that was there last night.  In the park.  I saw the way you looked at him.  That's how I've always wanted someone to look at me.  Why don't you look at me like that?" Caleb said.

 

"In the park?  What park?" Ian didn't know what Caleb was talking about.

 

"Across from Mary's Garden Café, a few weeks ago.  Joe and I saw you with a little kid, and when that black haired guy came up to you, you just...beamed at him.  I can see how you think you feel about him-feel like that about me."

 

Ian was shaking his head.  "First of all, if you ever want someone to look at you like that, you might want to try feeling things for _them_ that make you look at them like that..."

 

"Kid, you don't need to tell me about love, I've been around a lot longer than you.  I have you and me all planned-we'll fool around for a while longer while you're so young, and then I figured when you're twenty-one we'll settle down and get married and adopt some kids and I'll take the lieutenants exam..."

 

Ian was so sick of this conversation, but, wait, "You saw me with Mickey and figured I love him?"  Caleb nodded.  "And _that's_ why you hit him?"  Caleb nodded again.  "You tried to hurt him, because of what I feel?" 

 

"Yes," Caleb said.

 

Ian jutted out his chin.  "Caleb, I'm dumping your ass.  Forget me, lose my number, and have a good life.  Oh, and for the benefit of any other guys you bring here?  A grown man pushing thirty shouldn't have trophies on the shelves of his bedroom.  It's a major red flag."

 

 

Ian went straight to work at the Fairy Tail after leaving Caleb's.  He only took the cab to the nearest bus station, since it was already costing him a small fortune.  He didn't want to have to pay the fare all the way to Boystown. 

 

Mickey wasn't able to join him at the club that night; a couple of Svetlana and Nika's clients had given them tickets to a Russian ballet and they were staying at a hotel downtown after and Mickey was staying home with Yevgeny.  Ian was emotionally exhausted from dealing with Caleb and fending off the Saturday night crowd.  Saturday night was the horniest night of the week, to paraphrase an old Frank Sinatra song. 

 

Ian got back to Mickey's late.  Miguel hadn't been working that night, so he had to take the El to Mickey's.  He let himself in quietly and was surprised to see Mickey waiting up for him, dozing in front of the TV turned down low.  He let his duffle bag slide of his shoulder and sat down next to Mickey. 

 

"Van Damme, huh?" Ian said, indicating the screen.  "I knew you were secretly gay for him.” 

 

Mickey laughed, but noticed how tired Ian seemed, and how making the little joke took effort. 

 

"How was your day?" Mickey asked.  "Or I guess I should say night?"

 

"Tonight was long, and boring.  I think you'll be more interested in my day-I, uh, I broke things off with Caleb, for good."

 

Mickey's face lit up, and he was about to say something, but Ian started talking some more first.  "Mickey, no, don't look like that, it's not what you think.  I've gotta end things with us, too."

 

Mickey felt like he'd been punched in the stomach.  THIS?  Again?  His mind instantly flashed to all the times they had broken up, even the times they had nearly broken up.  Why did this keep happening?  His throat was instantly dried out and he honestly felt like he had forgotten how to breathe. 

 

"What...what are you talking about?" he finally managed to croak out. 

 

"Mick, we can't..."

 

"No, Ian, I need to know.  I've been sitting idly by for like a year now, wondering what was going on with you and that guy, why you kept seeing him, and now, just when you tell me you've finally realized you don't want him, you don't want me either?"  Mickey was freaking out.  He didn't even know if what he was saying made sense, but he needed to know, finally, what Ian thought and felt and needed. 

 

"Mickey," Ian sighed.  "It's not like that.  I knew it was 'over'-if anything had ever really begun-with Caleb a long time ago.  I only ever started seeing him because I knew whatever happened with him would never matter.  He started off as a one night stand before I even knew if I could get it up on the meds.  I had been taking them a while-not the first stuff I was on that left me barely functional, but the stuff they figured would keep me more even-and I still couldn't even jack off most of the time.  Caleb picked me up at a bar telling me he only tops and brought me to his house.  I figured I could just lie there and nothing would matter.  He did manage to make me come by hitting my prostate...look, you don't want to hear all this.  The point is, he wasn't looking for anything serious and neither was I.  I needed to know I could walk away anytime without either of us being hurt.  I figured the first time my bipolar flared up, he'd be gone in a flash."

 

"That doesn't sound like you knew it was 'over'," Mickey pointed out.

 

"No, you're right.  At first I thought I should let myself give it a chance.  His life was structured, and my shrink kept telling me that's what I need, routine and structure and predictability.  And I thought, looking at his family and his life, it was everything I was supposed to want.  Nice people, nice house, good job, respectability.  But it was all so boring.  You know how I told you his dad's all into restoring cars?"  Mickey nodded.  "Well, one weekend they were driving almost fifteen hundred miles round trip, over two state lines, to go pick up a factory original carburetor for his dad's Camaro, and they asked if I'd like to go along.  We went in his dad's pickup truck, so the three of us had to sit in a row, and we stayed in one hotel room going down and coming back so there was no sex at all, not even any groping in the truck and I was just relieved.  That's when I knew I'd never feel anything for Caleb.  The relief I felt in not having sex with him made me feel better than anything I had ever felt with him.  And, Mickey, that trip was about a month after I started seeing him."

"Then why did you stay with him?" Mickey asked in anguish.  He hated sounding like a little bitch, but he had worried so much all these months that he'd lose Ian to the more successful guy, and now it turns out Ian had decided before he let Mickey back into his life there'd never be anything he wanted with Caleb?

 

"Mickey," Ian shut his eyes and tried to come up with words that would make Mickey understand without hurting him too much.  "When I told Lip he could give you my number, I had no intention of starting anything with you.  In therapy I had been told over and over that I had to get past the hurt I felt I had caused people, and you were at the top of that list.  I thought that night I'd just see you, apologize the best I could for all I had done, thank you properly for everything you had done for me, and never see you again."  Ian's eyes were bright with tears, and Mickey could feel his own eyes burning. 

 

"But I walked into that place that night, and saw you, and I couldn't ruin our meal by bringing all that up first thing, so we started talking, and everything felt so warm and good and right, and I hadn't felt that comfortable in forever, and I just...let myself forget too much and let things go too far.  Even when we went outside I didn't intend to have sex with you.  I was thinking how the next time I saw you I'd have to let you go.  But that thought made me want to kiss you and then everything was racing beyond my control.  And we had sex, and it felt so good and so powerful and I hadn't responded like that since the last time I had been with you and I was freaked out by it.  I honestly thought I was on a manic high and I figured I had forgotten to take my pills and everything was going to start all over again, and I had to race out of that room to count the pills in my case."

 

"But, why didn't you just do that in the room?  Or ask me?  I had seen you take them..." Mickey wanted to be helpful, it was always his instinct when it came to Ian. 

 

"I know, Mickey, I should've just stopped and thought.  I knew I had taken them, I even knew if I had missed one dose, it wouldn't have affected me that much.  But all those logical thoughts were being pushed out at the thought that I was having an episode.  The next day I called my doctor and she saw me right away and she couldn't have been happier that I had finally had some good sex."  Ian shook his head at how nuts he had been over his first good lay in a long time. 

 

“But, Mickey, I can’t stay now. Sooner or later my disorder is going to…do something to me again, and I can’t hurt you and Yev again. And I can’t let Yevgeny get attached to me.”

 

“He already is, Ian, what the fuck are you talking about? That kid loves you,” Mickey said, his voice tough but broken all at the same time.

 

“But, if I go now, he won’t remember me after a bit, just like before. But he’s getting close to the age kids start remembering shit. What’s your first memory?” Ian said.

 

Mickey didn’t want to waste time talking about old memories, but he wanted to keep Ian discussing this shit, so he thought back. “I, uh, I guess I have this memory of it being a really cold night, and there was no heat, Terry probably blew all the money for the gas bill on something stupid, but, uh, I remember being in a bed, and looking up and my mom was putting another blanket over me and Mandy…” Mickey shrugged. “It was a blanket her mother had made for her, one of those knitted ones? From back in the old country. She never used it, kept it in a box in the closet with moth balls, but that night she put it on us and got into bed with us and tried to keep us warm.”

 

Ian looked even sadder now. “And how old were you?” he asked quietly.

 

Mickey thought a bit more. “Must’ve been about three, I guess.”

 

Ian raised his eyebrows at him. “My first memory was when I was three too. I was playing in the hall upstairs, and Monica came running down the hall and didn’t even see me and she kicked me and I went tumbling down the stairs and only stopped when I hit the wall at the landing. Fiona was right there and held me and checked me over, and Monica just climbed over us, walked down the rest of the stairs and out the door, never even noticing me even though I was screaming.”

 

Mickey swallowed and shook his head. “Ian…that’s not…”  


“No, Mickey,” Ian said sternly. “You can’t say that’s not going to happen with me, and you can’t say Yevgeny might not start having memories yet. We don’t know any of that, and it’s just better and safer if I leave.”

 

Mickey felt like the world was slipping away under him. He couldn’t think fast enough of what he could say to combat this stuff. It wasn’t logical, but Ian was convinced it was.

 

“So, what, you thought you’d just play house till Yevgeny started getting old enough to remember things and then you’d split?” Mickey said. That couldn’t have been Ian’s plan, Ian wasn’t like that.

 

“I told you, Mickey, I didn’t plan any of this. But I did let it go on too long, and I’m sorry, but you don’t know what it’s like.” Mickey snorted, he felt like he knew exactly what this was like-he’d been in this nightmare before. “No, Mickey, listen to me-you don’t know what it’ll be like for Yev. Liam never even knew Monica as a mother, but whenever she comes back and then leaves again, he cries for her and calls out ‘Mommy’ and his little heart breaks. And he can’t understand-how could any kid understand their grownup abandoning them like that? I can’t do that to Yev, I won’t.”

 

“Ian, you’re not Monica. She went untreated for years, she kept popping out kids instead of getting on meds and getting the help she needed. You’re on meds and getting help and handling it.”

 

“Mickey, this just isn’t right. We can’t risk it, and besides, you deserve a better life. Find someone who doesn’t come with all this trouble…”

“WHAT?” Mickey shouted. Ian shushed him, because of Yevgeny asleep in another room. “Ian, that makes no…there’s no one else. I don’t want anyone else-and what if I did find someone but he turned out to be a jerk to Yev? What then? Just because someone’s not bipolar doesn’t mean they’re perfect.”

 

“If they’re a jerk, you’ll get rid of them, and find someone else. I never want to put you in the position of having to make me leave, when you realize I’m hurting Yevgeny, even if I’m not meaning to. You said that yourself that day at the lake-Yev should never be hurt even unintentionally. So I have to leave, right now.”

 

Ian got up and started heading for the door. It took Mickey a minute to get what he meant. He jumped up and grabbed Ian before he got to the door.

 

“Ian, no! You can’t just leave, you can’t walk home right now.”

 

Ian shut his eyes, he was so tired, and this was so hard, he just wanted to go before either of them felt any worse.

 

“Let me drive you,” Mickey said.

 

Ian shook his head. “We’re not getting Yev up and taking him out in the middle of the night just to get me home,” Ian said. “Is Iggy here? He can drive me.”

 

“No! I mean, I don’t even know if he’s home, but if he is, he’s probably drunk or high, and you’re not getting in a car with him,” Mickey insisted.

 

Ian let out a sigh. “Fine, Mickey. I’ll sleep on the couch and leave at dawn, okay? But, please, just let me go.”

 

“Ian, if you want to go because you don’t love me, or because you honestly think you’ll have a better life not being saddled with me and my kid, or because you love-or even want to love-someone else, by all means, live your life and I’ll let you go. But you have to know this, I’ll be waiting for you. If you decide in ten years Yev is old enough to understand you have a disorder and it’ll be something we can explain to him then, I’ll wait for that.” Mickey prayed Ian would understand what he was trying to say, it was coming out so jumbled. They were standing about three feet apart, and all Mickey wanted to do was grab him and hold him and tell him he loved him. But Ian wasn’t even looking at him, and he looked like he was miserable.

 

Staring down at the floor Ian softly asked, “Do you love me?”

 

“Of course I do.”

 

“Why haven’t you told me?” Ian’s voice was anguished, barely above a whisper.

 

Mickey’s shoulders slumped. “I didn’t want to pressure you, I wanted you to say it first. I didn’t want you to turn your back on me again like the first time I said it.” Mickey figured he owed Ian the truth.

 

“So that right there is why I’m no good for you-and Yev. If you were afraid to tell me…” Ian just looked away.

 

Mickey wanted to argue, wanted to yell and ask Ian why the fuck he won’t say it, but he knew that’d get him nowhere. He _knew_ Ian loved him, he just didn’t know if Ian knew that was enough.

 

“Mickey, I just…just go to bed, all right? I’ll leave in the morning and…” Ian didn’t know what he’d do beyond that. Didn’t know what he’d do when he’s life was without Mickey again.

 

Mickey figured anything more he tried to say would make things worse. “I’ll wait,” he repeated quietly, but Ian didn’t react. Mickey turned to his bedroom and walked away slowly, praying Ian would call him back, but he didn’t.

 

Mickey shut his bedroom door softly and checked on Yev. He was sleeping peacefully, his blue fish light whirling around the room. Mickey sat on the edge of his bed and let the tears come. He didn’t get how they got here again. Yesterday everything was fine. He had no idea Ian was thinking this way, although looking back he did realize that anytime he brought up future plans with Yev in them, Ian would always shut down. Ian probably had this all thought out for a while.

 

How many times had they done this? Break up, leave each other, say they were done? He’d been with Ian four years now, but they were completely separated during one of them and spent months apart at other times. Didn’t Ian realize by now they always found their way back to one another? That life apart wasn’t really living?

 

Mickey hung his head, wishing this was all just a bad dream and he could wake up and pull Ian’s body onto his and make love to him and start a new day. He had no idea how he was going to pick up and go on without Ian again.

 

His bedroom door slowly opened, and Ian slid through when he just had it wide enough to get his body in sideways. He shut the door softly, craned his neck to see into Yev’s crib, although from where he was he couldn’t really see anything, and then he sat down on the bed and took Mickey’s hands in his. He’d clearly been crying too, and Mickey still was, and didn’t care that he couldn’t wipe away his tears. Ian’s big hands on his always felt comforting. Usually Mickey hated being held, especially at his hands, by anyone, even Mandy. But with Ian or Yevgeny Mickey never minded it. It felt right-they could hold him forever and he wouldn’t mind.

 

Ian looked into Mickey’s eyes in the blue swirling light. His face was serious, determined.

 

“I finally realized I’m forgetting something very important,” Ian began. “I know you and everyone else is always telling me I’m not Monica, and I know that, I’ve even said it myself.”

 

Mickey nodded, and Ian continued. “Not only am I not Monica-you’re not Frank.”

 

Mickey’s eyebrows came together with a puzzled look. Damn right he wasn’t Frank. The indignation he was feeling stopped his tears, at least.

 

“So that would mean even if I do…get overwhelmed by the bipolar again, you wouldn’t just get drunk and not deal and abandon your family. I could count on you to take care of Yevgeny, to keep him safe, to let him know he’s not alone…” Ian’s voice trailed off.

 

Mickey squeezed Ian’s hands. “Not just Yev-I won’t let you feel alone too,” Mickey promised.

 

Ian nodded. “I know-I’ve always known that. I just thought it was unfair of me to ask…”

 

“You ain’t asking, I’m giving,” Mickey said.

 

Ian smiled. “I love you, Mickey.”

 

Mickey felt a weight lift off his chest. He’d known Ian half his life going back to Little League, and he was finally hearing those words.

 

“I love you, Ian.”   And in the bedroom where their relationship truly began, Mickey kissed Ian.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a super long chapter, but once I brought Caleb in, I wanted to escort him right back out in the same chapter. And I didn't want to cut Ian's birthday at the beginning because I needed him to get all choked up about Yev's little handprints as another piece of foreshadowing, along with Ian not getting excited at the thought of waiting till Yev was older to bring him to a baseball game, and him already feeling sad when Carl pointed out Yev had his nose. 
> 
> I hope the ending didn't feel rushed, or like I resolved it too easily, because, honestly these guys HAVE been torn asunder so many times I just felt they deserved a simple solution. And that they needed to boil it all down to basics-Ian loves Mickey, Mickey loves Ian. You can't fake that ;) 
> 
> All that's left of this story is an epilogue, but I might split it into two final chapters since I tend to get so damn wordy. And, once again I find myself with very little writing time looming on my horizon, so I'll have to ask your indulgence once again-it might take me a couple weeks or more to get the epilogue written and posted.


	11. Epilogue Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a time jump, let's see what's happening in our heroes' lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It lives!
> 
> Sorry this has taken so long to happen-I've been trying to find the time and ability to write, and things keep getting in the way. I wanted to wrap the story up and have been working on an epilogue forever, but it had grown to almost 17,000 words and I still had more to get in there, and I finally decided I could break it into a couple of parts. I asked a fanfic lover friend of mine if I shouldn't wait till I had the epilogue completed before posting Part I since I still can't even guess when Part II will be done, and he suggested I don't wait, that readers would probably appreciate getting to read something sooner rather than later. I know that's how I'd feel about any on-going stories other people are writing, so here it is-Epilogue Part I.

Five years brought about a lot more changes in all their lives.

 

They started saying “I love you” as often as they both had always deserved to hear it, plus hearing “I wuv you” back from Yevgeny on a daily basis was an added bonus. Ian finally felt free to express his boundless affection for the little boy and Mickey stepped up his game on that front too. 

 

After that night when Ian almost left, he had moved in with Mickey, officially and permanently. It was a major step and they both knew it, and they were determined to end the pattern of walking out of each other’s lives.  When Ian told his therapist about it, she suggested Ian and Mickey try at least one session of talk therapy together, and Mickey readily agreed to it.  He knew how helpful seeing his own therapist had been and was willing to talk to Ian’s doctor as well.

 

The first session went well, and they booked appointments for more. The sessions gave Mickey a safe place to learn more about Ian’s disorder and to ask the therapist questions Ian was sometimes uncomfortable answering, and some he didn’t know the answers to.  For both of them, the sessions took a lot of the fear of the unknown out of the equation, and that made a big difference.  Also, having an outsider listening to them provided them with another perspective that helped Ian realize Mickey didn’t watch him so closely because he was looking for signs of deterioration, but rather because he quite frankly couldn’t keep his eyes off of Ian.

 

“You’re gorgeous, what can I say?” Mickey said, after Ian voiced his discomfort at being under Mickey’s scrutiny so often, and Mickey and the therapist got Ian to see why Mickey couldn’t help looking at him any chance he got.

 

Ian blushed and said, “Nah…”

 

“You look at me a lot too,” Mickey added.

 

“That’s because you say more with your eyebrows than your words,” Ian said. Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian, realized he was doing it, and had to laugh. 

 

“Okay, I’ll give you that,” Mickey said.

 

The sessions also gave them a chance to voice their fears, although that was a lot harder because, even with the therapist there, neither of them wanted to scare the other one with the thoughts that sometimes popped into their heads about what might happen in the future. But over time they found they could open up and that a lot of the things one of them feared, the other had already thought of too. 

 

And it wasn’t just Ian’s bipolar that was discussed-they finally got around to talking about everything that had happened the day Terry forced Svetlana on Mickey. The therapist got them to face what had happened and to discuss their feelings about it, and their opinions on how it still affected them.  At home they each spoke to Svetlana about it separately.  Mickey didn’t blame Svetlana for what happened in the least; he knew if it hadn’t been her, Terry would’ve have just called someone else.  Svetlana let both Mickey and Ian know she did feel bad about her part in things, but at least they had gotten Yevgeny out of it, and she had to admit that even though the price was high, she wouldn’t go back and change things now if it meant Yev never came to be. 

 

She also told Ian she had long since forgiven him for taking Yevgeny.

 

“That wasn’t you, that was your disorder. I know you’d never hurt Mickey or Yevgeny on purpose.  That wasn’t your intention that day.  You’re a good, gentle man.  You take good care of both of them.” 

 

A few times over the past five years Ian had to have his medication adjusted, and he had a few bad episodes, but nothing like he had gone through before he started being treated. He hadn’t had to go back into a facility; they always caught his changes in time so that they could be handled with medication and resting at home.  When it happened the first time, they both saw right away that they weren’t in it alone, that they both had support they could depend on, from the medical team and each other and their families.  Ian still worried about what affect it might be having on Yevgeny though-and Mickey.  But he was encouraged to talk about it after in therapy, and Mickey assured him that Milkovich men are tough, and that everyone went through things in life with the people they cared about.  Mickey hated the thought of Ian feeling guilty over something he was doing everything he could to control.   

 

Things had changed for both guys on the job front. Mickey had gotten his associates degree and went to work full time for the company he had been apprenticing with and was taking more engineering courses at night through Northwestern University.  His old college advisor from the junior college kept tabs on him and recommended him to a firm that was willing to give him a job in systems design, rather than out in the field installing systems.  The company he had been working for was a smaller outfit, and they told him to jump at the chance-he’d have to wait for someone to retire or die to move up where he was working.  They let him go with their blessing; they knew he had a family to provide for, plus that he was capable of doing design work. 

 

Ian had a new job too. One night after he had just turned twenty-one a man came in to Patsy’s Pies and asked if he could speak with the cook.  He was in his early to mid-thirties and when Ian came out he asked if Ian could give him fifteen minutes of his time.  Ian was puzzled-if this was a pick up attempt it was the weirdest one he had been a part of.  He looked at Fiona who just shrugged and said, “You can take your break now if you want to,” and Ian figured he could at least begin to listen to what the man had to say and if it was anything weird, he’d just walk away.

 

They sat across from each other in one of the diner’s booths, and the man turned on a tablet and spun it around so Ian could see a website on it. It was for a popular downtown restaurant.  

 

“My name is Mike Jones and I work at Martone’s, ever heard of it?” the man began. Ian nodded. 

 

“I never ate there or anything, but I’ve heard of the place,” Ian said, wondering where this was headed. The restaurant had a good reputation, it just wasn’t the type of place he and Mickey would ever go to-too pricey, even if the food was reportedly worth it.  “Uh, my name’s Ian.  Ian Gallagher.” 

 

“Here’s the thing, Ian-I just inherited a nice chunk of change from a rich old great aunt I barely knew I had, and no one knew she was loaded. She worked all her life on the housekeeping staff at the AMA building, but it turned out she bought stock in Nike and Apple way back in the day and she left everything to me since I’m the only child in my generation on the family tree.  Anyway, I’ve worked at Martone’s since before I went to college, and my whole life, my dream has been to open up my own place.  Now I have the money to actually attempt it.”  Mike paused, for more than a few seconds.

 

“That’s nice…?” Ian said, when the silence was getting too weird.

 

“So, here’s the thing, my boss at Martone’s, he’s a great guy, and he’s willing to see me set up in my own place, but he threatened to blackball me if I poach any of the people I know through working for him for my own restaurant. Not that he’s connected to the mob or anything,” Mike said quickly, “just, he’s been in business over thirty-five years and knows enough restaurant suppliers to make good on this threat.” 

 

“Okay?” Ian said.

 

“Okay, so, I’ve been going around to businesses he has no connections to, like this place, and I’ve been scoping out the talent-you’re a hell of a cook.”

 

Ian laughed. “Yeah, sure,” he said.

 

“No! You are, you really are!  The first time I came in here was a bit of a fluke-I wasn’t even thinking a short-order cook would ever fill my needs, but a whole bunch of us came in late one night after a Sox game, and that pretty manager over there told us the grill was closed for the night, but you told her through the order window that you could fire it back up and we could stay.  My asshole friends ordered a whole bunch of different stuff, instead of just keeping it simple for you, and all the food we had that night was out of this world.  I’ve been in a few times since then, at more normal hours, bringing friends and we’ve ordered and sampled just about everything on your menu.  I want to offer you a job, as my chef.  Head chef-you’ll have other people working under you and whatever shifts my other chefs work, they’ll be following your recipes, your menu.” 

 

Ian figured this guy had to be joking. “You don’t even know me,” Ian began.

 

“Well, that’s true, but I’ve been in here and I’ve seen how you get along with the other employees and how you never lose your cool no matter how busy it gets. I’ve found a couple of other guys to be chefs to cover when you can’t be there, but they really are just cooks-I want them to learn from you.  How to cook and to develop better people skills.  And I’ve already got entry-level people lined up just by reaching out to culinary schools.” 

 

Ian paused at that-graduates of those schools would be older than him, and trained. He brought those points up, but Mike waved them off.  “I want my place to be something this city doesn’t already have.  And I don’t want it to be pretentious and snooty.  I want plain and simple good food people are willing to leave their house in the dead of winter for.  I KNOW you’re the right guy for the job.  Here’s a prospectus Martone’s finance guy did up for me.  Uh, I won’t be able to pay you that great a salary at first, but I’m staking you ten percent of the business, so if we ever do start making money, you’ll be sharing in the profits.  Plus, as soon as we’re turning a profit I’ll get you and all the full time employees health benefits, it’s all outlined in there.  Your starting salary is in there too.  There’s also a list of personal references, including Francis Martone, my current boss, in the back.  Feel free to call or email any and all of them.  Take some time, read the prospectus over, discuss it with your family or whoever.  I know I’m asking you to take a big leap here, but I promise you, no one will work harder than me at making this place a success.  I have a great feeling about you, I have since that first night after the game.”

 

That night Ian told Mickey about the offer after dinner. He and Mickey were sitting at the table while Svetlana cleared the table-it was her night to do the dishes.  She let Ian get the whole story out, and waited for Mickey to say something. 

 

All Mickey did say was, “Do you want to do it?”

 

Ian thought for a moment, and then said, “I think I do.”

 

“Then go for it,” Mickey said.

Svetlana couldn’t keep quiet any longer.  “ Are you two crazy or stupid?  What do you know of this man?  What if he’s not so much interested in your cooking as he is in you?  What if he only wants Carrot Cake?”

 

“And he’s setting up an entire restaurant just to lure me in?” Ian said incredulously. “Not everyone wants something from me sexually, Svetlana.”

 

Svetlana snorted derisively and grabbed the prospectus off the table. She recognized the name of the firm that had prepared it, and that calmed her considerably.  “You mind if I have my accountant look at this?” she asked Ian.  Ian knew that longtime client of hers and Nika had helped them out considerably running their business, so he motioned to her to take it. 

 

She went back to doing the dishes, leaving the prospectus on the table for now. Ian flipped open to the page that showed his salary and showed it to Mickey.  “I’d be making more than I’m making now at my two jobs combined, so there’s that, but…”

“But what?” Mickey asked.

 

“But what if the place flops? Then what will I do?” Ian said, looking more than a little worried. 

 

“Get your old jobs back?” Mickey said. Ian tilted his head, but Mickey continued.  “You know Fi would hire you back, no problem,” Mickey said.  Fiona had taken over the general manager position at Patsy’s when the former holder of that title went back to prison for heroin possession.  “And I’m sure the Fairy Tail would take you back whenever too, but hopefully it’ll never come to that.  Besides, even if those places didn’t have openings, you know there would be other places just like them where they’d want you.  You have a very specific and varied skill set,” Mickey smiled, although it’d kill him to have Ian finally leave the club life only to return.  Maybe Mickey would be making enough by then to support them both, if it ever happened.  Right now he was only being paid an entry-level salary, but he was certain he would work his way up in the firm as he got more experience under his belt. 

 

“I guess I’ll see what Svetlana’s guy has to say and go from there,” Ian said.

 

Svetlana’s accountant not only looked over the paperwork, he contacted all the references. He reported back to Svetlana with a positive outlook.

 

“It’s risky, the restaurant business always is, but this guy has the startup capital needed, he already has the lease on a good location, and his boss and all his personal references have nothing but glowing things to say about the guy.  Ian’s young and can always start over if this doesn’t pan out-I’d recommend he should go ahead, if it’s something he wants to do,” Svetlana’s accountant told her. 

 

She reported his findings to Ian, but muttered to Mickey, “I’d still feel better if we knew he’s not gay.”

 

Ian heard that and rolled his eyes. “He said something about Fiona being pretty the first five minutes he was talking to me.  I’m pretty sure he’s not gay,” Ian told her. 

 

“Gays can find your sister pretty too,” Svetlana said with a mysterious smile. Nika heard that though, and got up off the couch and left the room in a huff.

 

“Ah, shit. To make up for that joke I’m probably going to have to buy her something,” Svetlana said.

 

“Serves you right,” Mickey said. “You don’t toy with the affections of someone you love.”  He blinked his eyelashes at Ian seductively. 

 

“Um, thank your guy for the advice, Svetlana. And it’s your turn to read Yev his bedtime story, so…,” Ian swooped down and picked Yevgeny up off the floor where he was playing with his train.  He held Yev down at waist level so Mickey could kiss him goodnight from where he was sitting in the living room, Ian placed a kiss on the boy’s head as well and told him goodnight, then he handed the four year old to his mother.  Ian then grabbed Mickey’s hand, pulling him up off the chair and dragged him towards their bedroom without a look back. 

 

The restaurant proved to be a good gamble. They did a soft opening and Svetlana and Nika invited a lot of their clients, and the place immediately had a following of well-off patrons and gained more all the time through word of mouth.  Ian and Svetlana experimented with recipes and ingredients at home to come up with a unique and interesting menu and it all just worked.  Everything wound up costing more than even the accountants had figured, but that was the norm in any endeavor.  Mike had a cushion to work with thanks to his inheritance, but the place was in the red for the first couple of years and just barely breaking even in the next one.  But still, they hadn’t gone under and that was a major victory.  Ian was still waiting for his benefits to become a reality, but he had been on Obama care insurance before he took the job, and he was on it still, so that was all right. 

 

Early in the afternoon of his twenty-fourth birthday, Ian was on a stepladder at the back of his and Mickey’s house, stringing a rope from a tree in the backyard over to the corner of the house to hang paper lanterns on. It was going to be their first party at their new house. 

 

They had moved to Andersonville the month before. Moving in the humid July heat had been a bitch, but it was worth it.  They had wound up in the place through a bit of a fluke.  Lip and Mandy had decided to buy a house now that Lip was making good money after graduating college.   Mandy was going to school full time, she wanted to be a social worker.  She figured the system needed to change, based on how little help they had ever been to her family and the families of everyone she had gone to school with, practically, and the best place to start would be by going into it and working to improve it herself. 

 

She and Lip were in the realtor’s office and Mandy had seen a flyer with two houses on it. They weren’t too big and looked like they had been kept up really well.  She showed the flyer to their realtor but she quickly explained that both the houses in the photo were up for sale as a package.  A widow had owned them and kept them up for years, hoping her sons would someday move back to their old neighborhood and live side by side after some long ago falling out, and she had a convoluted will drawn up that she hoped would make them give in and just keep the houses themselves, rather than trying to find a buyer for both –they could only be sold together. 

 

“It’s a great opportunity if you were looking to be landlords,” the realtor tried-always be closing, right? “You could live in one and rent out the other…” 

 

Mandy did some quick calculations in her head, there’d be no way they could come up with a decent down payment on both places, plus their mortgage would be huge. And who wanted to deal with tenants?  “Ah, no thanks, but do you mind if I took the flyer?  My brother might be interested…” An idea was sprouting in Mandy’s mind. 

 

Mickey and Ian and Svetlana and Nika were quite interested when Mandy told them what she had in mind. It’d be a good solution to a problem that was growing the longer they all lived under one roof.  Luckily Iggy had moved out, easing the strain a bit.  He had met, knocked up, and married a girl from Toronto whose parents owned a bodega that had an apartment over it.  Iggy and his new bride were running the store and living above it and were very happy, awaiting the birth of their son.  But even with him moving out and freeing up a bedroom for Yevgeny, the house was still tiny and they all lived right on top of each other. 

 

They went and looked at the houses, and they were even more charming in person-and they had looked pretty cute on the flyer and online at the realtor’s website. They were identical, built by the same builder back around the turn of the last century.  The rooms inside were actually a pretty good size, considering how modest the houses looked from the outside. 

 

There were three upstairs rooms in each house, sunny kitchens and dining rooms and living rooms with fireplaces on the first floors, and both houses had clean cellars with washers and dryers in them.  The backyards were separated by chain link fencing, and right away they all agreed they could take that out and make one big backyard.

 

"We could even put in a pool," Ian dreamed aloud, already loving the vibe of these twin houses and imagining raising Yevgeny there.  "There's nothing better on a hot night than swimming after dark and rushing to bed so you fall asleep while you're still cooled off."  He was remembering his youthful nights living with his siblings.

 

Mickey was a bit taken aback.  "Do you forget what I do for a living?  I'm gonna have these places fitted out with central air, if we buy them..."

 

"Aw, I know, Mick, but believe me-there's nothing like a pool to make the summer bearable, and all the fresh air and exercise will do us all some good," Ian smiled.  Mickey smiled right back at him-there was nothing Mickey wouldn't give to make Ian happy, and they both knew it. 

 

They crunched the numbers at the bank with Svetlana and Nika's accountant, of course, and found that they would be able to swing it.  Svetlana and Nika had saved up enough money to pay their half in full, and with the sale of the South Side house and a fifteen year mortgage, Mickey and Ian would be able to finance the other half. 

 

"Never thought I'd live North Side," Mickey said, as he signed the final piece of paperwork for the mortgage.  Svetlana kissed him on the cheek and told him it would be better for Yevgeny.  Ian kissed him on the lips and just smiled. 

 

Mickey and Ian's siblings came and helped them pull out the chain link fence-Mickey's brothers were especially helpful at the brute strength required to pull up the posts, but Mickey supervised them closely.  The houses had rosebushes in the back filled with crimson blooms and he wanted them preserved and kept safe.  Once those fences were down, Ian and Mickey and Lip and Kevin did most of the work putting up a big wooden privacy fence that enclosed the whole back of both the houses.  They left a section down so the pool company people could come in and set up their small round above ground pool, and once that was in, Ian and Mickey finished the fence themselves. 

 

Mickey had also worked up the venting plan for the houses-easy enough since they were identical and once one was done, they both were-and Mickey's old company that did smaller residential jobs came in and did the job pretty much at cost. Mickey gave the actual work crew a bonus-a case of beer for each guy once they finished at Svetlana’s and Nika’s, and the same again when his and Ian’s house was done.   

 

About a week after they had moved in, one night while Yev was staying at his mom's house, Ian woke Mickey up quietly around two in the morning.  Mickey was still trying to catch up on resting after all the moving and backyard construction, so he was very slow to wake up. 

 

"Mick, hey, Mickey," Ian was whispering, not wanting to startle him awake.  Mickey did not react well to be woken suddenly.  "Miiiickey," Ian whispered again, shaking his shoulder ever so gently.

 

"Wha...?"  Mickey sounded cranky nonetheless.  He did not like being woken up unexpectedly.  "Ian?  Is something wrong?"  Mickey was becoming more alert by the second, taking in the darkness and looking around at the alarm clock and seeing how late it was.  "Is it Yev...?"

 

"No, no," Ian whispered reassuringly.  "Everything's fine-just listen." 

 

Mickey could barely make out Ian's outline in the dark room and couldn't see his expression at all.  He listened, wondering if there was some house noise he should be trying to pick up on...

 

"It's raining," Ian said, softly and emphatically. 

 

"So?" Mickey said.  Did he leave the car windows down?  Even if he had, the car was parked in the garage that was attached to the house-so what difference would that make? 

 

"Listen," Ian insisted again.  Their room had dormer windows, so even though there was an attic above them, the rain hitting the dormer roofs was loud enough to hear.  "Doesn't that sound romantic?  I want to make love to you with the rain pattering down on our house for the first time." 

 

Mickey smiled in the dark.  He reached for Ian.

 

"How did I wind up with such a romantic fool?" Mickey murmured, gently pushing his face closer to where he guessed Ian's would be so they wouldn't smack into each other as Ian leaned over him and cradled the back of his head with his hand.  Their lips found each other in the dark and they kissed, mouths open, tongues exploring.  Ian broke the kiss and said, "You're just as romantic, you just show it with your actions, not words."  When Ian's mouth found Mickey's again, he could feel Mickey was smiling. 

 

Ian kissed him for a few moments, and then moved down so he could ghost kisses across Mickey's collarbone.  Mickey moaned softly and was letting his hands run up and down Ian's bare back.  The pitter patter of the rain did sound nice, Mickey enjoyed it as a soothing background noise to accompany what Ian was doing. 

 

Ian was holding himself over Mickey, kissing and starting to rock softly into Mickey's hips with his own.  They were both still naked from having fallen asleep soon after making love when they went to bed-Mickey had gotten up then to sort some things out and handle some clean up.  Since they became exclusive all those years ago, they had gotten tested and when they got their clean bills of health threw out condoms once and for all.

 

Ian still needed some lube for Mickey now, and swore softly when his fingers couldn't locate the tube they had used earlier on the nightstand.  Mickey laughed at his frustration and reached up and put the bedside lamp on.  It only had a fifteen watt bulb, and they liked to watch each other while they made love, so they left it on. 

 

Ian lubed up two of his long fingers and inserted them into Mickey.  Mickey moaned appreciatively.  He knew he didn't need much prep, but he enjoyed how Ian always took his time to make sure Mickey would be ready for him-and his fingers felt fantastic no matter how long or short a time it had been since they were last inside.  Mickey let his hand slide around Ian's waist and was pleased, but not surprised in the least, to feel Ian was already getting hard.  Mickey found the lube in the pushed aside sheet Ian had kicked off them when he had positioned himself over Mickey and worked it open, his hands between the two of them as he stared up into Ian's eyes.  He managed to pool some lube into the palm of his hand and he stroked it all around Ian's cock.  Ian removed his fingers from inside Mickey and sinuously drew them up his perineum and circled his balls with his fingertips.  Mickey whimpered and raised his hips, both to allow Ian more access and to urge him to penetrate him with his now fully hard cock. 

 

"Ian," he breathed, "now, want you now."

 

"I love you," Ian smiled, sliding into Mickey with one long slow motion.  He looked into Mickey's eyes intently as Mickey adjusted to the welcome intrusion, then Mickey reached up and let his fingers from his still lube free hand rub against the fluffy red hairs of Ian's chest.  He loved how those soft tiny curls felt sliding between his fingers.

 

Ian began moving again, rocking into Mickey with a gentle motion that was building slowly in speed and force. They were both being quiet, moaning softly and kissing as they listened to the rain.  Ian shifted a bit and Mickey got louder as he was now hitting his prostate.

 

“Yes, Ian, right there, come on, yeah,” Mickey chanted in Ian’s ear. Ian reached in between them and stroked Mickey in time to his thrusts.  They were both getting close.  Mickey reached around Ian with both hands and was pulling him in, his hands squeezing Ian’s ass.  Ian groaned and came with Mickey’s name on his lips.  He felt Mickey clench around him as Mickey came seconds later, warm sticky liquid splurted over Ian’s hand.  Ian gently pulled out of Mickey and stroked the hair off his forehead as Mickey came down from his high. 

 

“Can’t wait till we have our first thunderstorm,” Mickey gasped, as soon as he could form coherent thoughts again.

 

Now it was a month later, a hot and humid summer’s day, and Mickey was out buying provisions for the birthday party and Yevgeny was over at Svetlana and Nika’s after swimming all morning and having lunch.

 

Svetlana came out of the back door of her house and walked over to the corner of the house, looking up at Ian on the stepladder.

 

“Where is Mickey?” she asked.

 

“Beer run,” Ian answered, grunting as he used a staple gun to attach the clothesline rope they had bought to the side of the house. “Where’s Yev?”

 

“Napping,” Svetlana answered. Ian raised his eyebrows in surprise.  Yev had made a big deal out of not needing naps anymore when he turned seven on his last birthday.  “I told him he could stay up late if he got rested now,” Svetlana explained.  “I think he was happy to have me ‘make him’, he was falling asleep after swimming all morning.”

 

Ian grinned. Milkovich men were stubborn, but they weren’t necessarily _always_ unreasonable. 

 

Ian stepped down off the ladder, feeling the sweat pooling at the small of his back, and wondered if he should bother showering or just jump in the pool himself-he’d probably be going in and out of there all afternoon once the party got started anyway.

 

Svetlana waited till he had both feet on the ground and then stuck out her hand. “Here-birthday present for you.”

 

Ian looked down and saw she was holding a plain white envelope, like you’d use to mail a letter. He took it from her and opened it; inside there was a cashier’s check for fifty thousand dollars.  Ian’s mouth dropped open but before he could say anything, Svetlana spoke first.

 

“It is so you can hire a surrogate and have a baby with Mickey.”

 

“Uh…” Ian didn’t know what to say.

 

“Mickey wants to love a baby like you love Yevgeny,” Svetlana stated. “And Yevgeny would make a great big brother.  Don’t you want them to have these things?”

 

“Well, sure, I mean, we’ve never…” Ian still didn’t know what he should say.

 

“You have big house now, extra room for another person. Mickey wants a baby, he wants you to have a baby, he wants to love your baby.”

 

“Has he told you this?” Ian asked. None of this had come up between him and Mickey, not even in therapy where they discussed everything. 

 

“He doesn’t need to, I see him, I see him with you and Yevgeny. He wants what you have.”  Svetlana was just saying all these things as if they were blatant facts.  Ian thought about it for a minute, and realized maybe they were.  When they were discussing what to do with the extra bedroom, Ian thought it would make a great home office for Mickey, but Mickey said they should just “wait and see” what to do with the room and right now it was completely empty.  Mickey didn’t even want Ian using it as an overflow room for the things they hadn’t quite figured out where to put yet.  All the weights and winter clothes were down in the cellar…Ian felt Svetlana staring at him, so he felt like he should say something.

 

“Svetlana,” he began, “it’s not that simple.”

 

"You can use the money to adopt an already-made baby, or Mickey could be the father of another one," Svetlana told Ian, "but Mickey wants to love a baby of yours like you get to love Yevgeny."

 

 

Ian sighed.  "I know that, we talked about it a bit, a long while ago, but..."

 

 

Svetlana cut him off, she knew what he was about to say.  "Ian, having any baby is a crapshoot.  Would you love a baby less if it was born with a handicap?"  Ian shook his head.  "Of course not.  Besides, your mother had six kids and you're the only one who seems bipolar, those seem like pretty good odds to me.  You gonna tell Mandy not to have a baby with Lip someday because he might pass on Monica's genes?"  Ian shook his head again. 

 

 

"Ok, Svetlana, I hear what you're saying-but I still can't take your money.  It's too much, it wouldn't be fair..."

 

 

"Nika and I have been living under Mickey's roof all these years.  I could never repay him, I owe him my life.  If I had had to stay a prostitute I can't imagine where I'd be now, but probably dead.  Plus, because of him I have Yevgeny, and I got to keep Yevgeny.  Nika and my careers have been going longer; if you insist on trying to pay me back, take ten years, or twenty, or fifty, without interest.  But I really don't want you to, you'll need money to raise the kids." 

 

 

She took both of Ian's hands in hers, Ian still holding the envelope.  "This is a gift to you-use it however will make you happy.  Have a baby, adopt a baby, take Mickey on a world cruise if that's what you want instead.  But you love and protect Yevgeny like he's your own, and you make my son and Mickey happy by being with them.  I owe you, too, and money will never repay you for how you've helped my family."  She kissed his cheek.  "Happy birthday, Orange Boy." 

 

 

He grinned and whispered "thanks" and she let go of his hands and walked back to her house. Ian went into his own house to shower and have a good long think over everything Svetlana had just said.

 

 

When Mickey got back from buying party necessities, Ian wanted to tell him about Svetlana's gift, but Mickey had other plans-he had a gift of his own to give to Ian.  He pulled him into the bedroom and got on his knees and gave Ian a very skillful blowjob.  Ian was looking down at Mickey, his hands buried in Mickey's thick hair, a huge smile on his face.  Ian thanked his lucky stars he was the proud recipient of this man's love, and in that instant felt like there was probably nothing he wouldn't try to make Mickey feel as loved and happy as he always made Ian feel. 

 

Ian was trying to pull Mickey back up to his feet once Mickey was done and had pulled Ian's shorts back up for him, but Mickey leaned away and said, "Hold your horses, I've got something else under here for you," and reached under the bed and pulled out a flat, wrapped, rectangular present.  He lifted it up and put it on the bed and told Ian to open it. 

 

 

Ian carefully tore off the paper, revealing a painting they had seen in the window of an art gallery one night when they had been strolling in their new neighborhood. It was of a copse of birch trees and the evening they had seen it, Ian had stood in front of the shop gazing at it transfixed. 

 

 

Mickey was watching Ian's face closely.  He couldn't quite read his reaction. 

 

 

"Um, this was the one that you said made you feel so peaceful, remember?" Mickey said. 

 

Ian nodded, still not saying anything. 

 

 

"I, ah, I figured we could hang it over the fireplace, that spot seems made for...something, right?  But, maybe I should've discussed it with you first?"  Mickey didn't get why Ian didn't seem to have anything to say.

 

 

"Mickey...it's so-I love it.  How did you even remember?  How did you even hear me say that?  It was the same time you and Yev were discussing getting ice cream..."

 

 

Mickey felt relieved Ian seemed happy.  "I hear everything you say, Mumbles," he tried to joke. 

 

 

Ian looked him right in the eyes.  "You listen with your heart, I swear that's gotta be it."  Ian leaned over and kissed Mickey, deeply and with a lot of heat.  "This is so nice, but is it what you want too?  It's your living room too, we should both pick what goes there..."

 

 

"Well, would you have said this was your choice?" Mickey asked.  "Because it's mine, hands down.  Like you said, it makes you feel peaceful just looking at it.  I'd like it if our grownup home was more peaceful than our childhood ones." 

 

 

Ian smiled again, and kissed Mickey again, and then they went and hung the picture together and then Yevgeney was bursting through the backdoor and it was time to get into party mode and Ian figured he could wait to tell Mickey about Svetlana's gift till later. 

 

 

The party was a big success.  Everyone had a great time and the day was hot and sunny so the pool was appreciated.  After the sun finally went down they turned on the lanterns and the backyard was transformed.  Carl and Kev had stored up some fireworks since the Fourth of July specifically for Ian's birthday, and they set them off far from the kids and the pool. 

 

 

After everyone went home, Mickey and Ian made a stab at cleaning up but Ian was anxious to talk to Mickey.  Yev was sleeping over at his mom's, so they had the place to themselves.  Mickey couldn't wait to get his hands on the birthday boy. 

 

 

"Wait, wait, wait," Ian told him, as Mickey was pulling up Ian's tank top and kissing him all over his face, neck, and torso.  "I need to show you something."

 

 

"I'm sure I've already seen it," Mickey grinned against Ian's collarbone, letting his hands slide down Ian's naked back and into his swim trunks. 

 

 

Ian pulled back, gently holding Mickey away at arm's length.  "No, not this you haven't."  Ian went to his dresser and opened one of the small drawers at the top.  He pulled out the envelope and walked over to the bed and sat down, leaving Mickey no choice but to join him.  Ian passed the envelope over to Mickey. 

 

 

"This was my present from Svetlana," Ian told him as Mickey pulled out the check. 

 

Mickey looked up, confusion in his eyes.  Was Svetlana trying to buy Ian off?  Why would she want him to leave now, when they each had their own space? 

 

 

"She, uh, she wants us to use that to hire a surrogate and have a baby..."

 

 

Mickey's eyebrows shot up as far as Ian had ever seen them.  Mickey was dying to say something, but he wanted to know how Ian felt about this first. 

 

 

Ian stared at Mickey, and finally said, a bit exasperated, "So, what do you think?" 

 

 

"What do you think?" Mickey said.

 

 

Ian sighed and looked down at his hands in his lap.  "I think...maybe it's a good idea, if you want it too?" Ian said, sounding unsure.  He never thought in a million years he'd be the one telling his partner he wanted a baby.  Even when he began to entertain the thought more seriously as more time went by and he and Mickey were making things work, he always somehow felt Mickey would be the one to broach the subject. 

 

 

Ian finally looked back up at Mickey from under his eyelashes.  Mickey had a huge smile on his face.  "You really, really want to know what I think?" he asked Ian.

 

 

Ian started to grin and nodded.

 

 

The excitement in Mickey's voice was obvious and his blue eyes were shining.  "I think it'd be great-I can start telecommuting two days a week, maybe even three, and stay home and raise the kids during the week, and you're working four nights a week, but only one day, so we can work all that out, we probably wouldn't have to use daycare at all..." 

 

Ian said, "You've been thinking about all this?" 

 

 

"Well, yeah, a little bit-when my work told me I could work from home a couple days I mostly thought of Yev, but, uh, yeah, I let myself daydream, a little, about having a baby too.” Ian was surprised, and touched, to hear that Mickey indulged in daydreams.  He thought if anyone ever deserved to have his wishes granted, it was Mickey.  “Ian, I love you, and I'm greedy and I want another part of you to love, if that's at all possible." 

 

"But, what if the kid is like me?" Ian whispered, the very real fear evident in his tone. 

 

 

"Then I'll love it as much as I love you," Mickey said, without hesitation. 

 

 

"Wh-what if it's like Monica?" Ian said even more quietly, his worst fear coming to light. 

 

 

Mickey took Ian's hands in his and waited for Ian to look at him.  "Then you'll know better than anyone what to look for and how to help them," Mickey said with conviction. 

 

 

Ian looked into Mickey's eyes.  If he knew anything, he knew that with Mickey by his side he could do anything, even the things he wasn't sure weren’t impossible.  Ian started to smile.  "I want to do it."  Mickey closed the space between them and kissed Ian passionately.  The passion soon took them both over, and after carefully making sure the check was placed in a safe spot in the nightstand drawer where they just happened to keep their lube, they finished getting each other undressed and expressed their love for one another in a fully physical and spiritual way. 

 

 

When they were done, drifting in the afterglow, Mickey propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Ian, his eyebrows scrunching in an almost scowl that was taking away the look of bliss that had been there seconds before. 

 

 

"Something wrong?" Ian asked, wondering if Mickey had a pulled muscle from when Ian threw one of Mickey's legs up over his shoulder or something.

 

 

"I'm just worried that Svetlana and I-even though I never discussed any of this with her-pressured you..."

 

 

Ian smiled, the blissfulness returning to his face, at least.  "I’d never make a decision this big on a whim, Mick. I was thinking of trying to have a kid when I turned thirty, but it makes more sense to do it now.  The kids will be closer in age, and you and I will have more energy as younger dads.  I know doing this with you…I can do anything."

 

 

Mickey was thrilled and the blissful smile returned to his face too.  He kissed Ian on the lips, shut off the bedside light, and snuggled into Ian, spent and ready to sleep. 

 

 

"I hope it's a girl," Mickey murmured, as he drifted off to sleep. 

 

 

They did some research and found a reputable agency to use. The agency assigned them a facilitator to help them through the process.  She was extremely knowledgeable and explained everything they would need to do from beginning to end.  The agency provided them with a list of women who were interested in being surrogates and Ian and Mickey narrowed it down to a few names to actually meet face to face.  The very first interviewee they both liked immensely.  She was energetic in an efficient way, not hyper or nervous, just alert and engaging.  They had a brief interview in the facilitator’s office.  All the basics were covered in her profile they had already read-she was in good health, never smoked, liked to exercise.  She had a four year old child of her own. 

 

“I suppose you want to know why I want to do this,” she said, before they even had to ask. “The answer is simple-I want to go back to school to become a veterinarian, and what I’ll make doing this will pay a year’s tuition and fees.” 

 

Ian and Mickey were impressed.

 

“Right now I work at an accounting firm, that’s what I went to school for originally, but I realized my brain was going numb and business just wasn’t what I am meant to do. I’ll work one more year, to finish paying off my student loans, but then I’m going back to college out near Boston and starting over.  I always wanted to work with animals, but took the ‘safe’ route and majored in business.  But life’s too short to be doing something I don’t love.  And if I can help a couple make a family in the process, plus continue with my ‘day job’, what better way to earn money?” 

 

They talked with her a bit more, she told them about her first pregnancy and her eating and exercising habits, and after she left, Ian and Mickey told the facilitator she could cancel the meetings scheduled with the other candidates, they liked that woman very much.

 

The next step was picking an egg donor. They were given online access to the list of donors, where they could read their profiles, family histories, and see pictures.  Mickey was delighted that they could narrow the search by hair and eye color, and they spent one of Ian’s days off looking at the green-eyed, red-headed prospects. 

 

They had been at it for over an hour. As far as Ian was concerned, any of the candidates would do-the agency screened them thoroughly before their names made it to the list.  Mickey was determined to find “the best” one though, and kept narrowing down his “possibles”. 

 

“Ian, check out this one-her family pictures with her siblings look like they’re out of that movie Brave, except with all girls instead of brothers.”

 

Ian gave a glance at the screen-he had been texting with Mike about restaurant business. He shut his phone down and leaned closer to Mickey to get a better look at the screen. 

 

“It’s the sperm that determines the sex…” Ian said, his eyes following the pictures Mickey was clicking through.

 

“I didn’t know that,” Mickey said.

 

“Yeah, they taught us that in biology.”

 

“I flunked biology,” Mickey said, a little sadly.

 

“Not with me, you haven’t,” Ian said, snuggling his face into Mickey’s hair and sliding his hand over Mickey’s stomach, loving the feeling of his thin cotton shirt over his abs. He started kissing his way down Mickey’s neck. 

 

“Ian, pay attention. We’ve got to make the best pick we can.”

 

Ian replied, “You’ve been poring over those profiles for hours, I’m sure you know the best one by now.”

 

Mickey was still looking at the screen. “She is very pretty, and her hair’s almost the same shade as yours,” he said.

 

“Is she Irish?” Ian asked, blowing in Mickey’s ear.

 

Mickey glanced through her biographical info. “Says here Scottish descent, why?”

 

“Good, less chance we’re related somewhere back on our family trees,” Ian said. Mickey couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, but Ian might have had a point-the woman’s features did strongly resemble Ian’s.

 

“I don’t think you’re related…” Mickey said, looking from the screen to his boyfriend and then back to the screen again.

 

“Great, let’s pick her,” Ian said right into Mickey’s ear, and then gave it a little lick with just the tip of his tongue, his hand still rubbing sideways across Mickey’s stomach. Mickey tried to inch away, but not too hard. 

 

“Ian…”

 

“Mickey,” Ian replied in the same tone. “Come on, don’t you want our baby to be conceived in looooove?”

 

Mickey did that flustered laugh he sometimes did when Ian said something that both exasperated and delighted him. ‘Conceived in…ahhhh, okay, let me send off an email saying we want this one, then you can take me to bed,” Mickey said, since Ian had let his hand slide down into Mickey’s lap and he started rubbing there instead.

 

 

Even after they picked, things took time. There was a whole medical deal where the donor and the surrogate’s cycles had to be synced up using hormone therapy, but finally eggs were extracted and fertilized and put into the surrogate.  Once they knew for sure the pregnancy looked viable, they sat Yevgeny down to tell him he was going to be a big brother.  They had talked to their therapists and Svetlana for advice, and it all basically boiled down to: tell him what you think he’s capable of understanding, listen to what he has to say, and answer his questions, if he has any, as honestly as possible. 

 

 

Yevgeny took it a lot like Mickey would. He listened, nodded, congratulated them, and then raised his eyebrows, waiting to hear if there was anything more.  Ian and Mickey had told him they had decided to add to their family, and they were expecting the baby in about six months. 

 

“Is Mom going to be its mom?” he finally asked, since it seemed to Yev that Ian especially expected him to have some questions, since he kept assuring Yevgeny he could ask them anything.

 

“Ah, no, your mom won’t be the baby’s mom. It’ll, um, be your dad’s, and mine,” Ian tried to explain.

 

Yevgeny looked from Ian to Mickey, and then asked, “How do you get a baby without a mom?”

 

Ian was stammering up an answer, but Mickey simply said, “We hired a woman.”

 

“Oh,” Yev nodded. “But, she won’t be the baby’s mom?”

 

“Nah, she’s doing this job for us, then moving to Boston. Baby’ll be all ours,” Mickey said.

 

“Okay. May I go play now?” 

 

Ian looked at Mickey and shook his head. “You’d think after all this time being with you, I’d be better at knowing how to handle him.  He’s exactly like you, just more polite,” he said as soon as Yevgeny was out of hearing range. 

 

Mickey just smiled his most infuriating smug smile.

 

A few weeks went by and Yevgeny hadn’t brought up the baby again, but maybe he had been mulling things over. One night he and Ian were playing Legos in the living room while Mickey was upstairs on his home computer in the corner of their bedroom putting the finishing polish on a big job for his company.  It was a Monday, so Ian had gone to work in the morning for a couple hours.  The restaurant was closed Mondays and that was when Ian worked his one day shift of the week-going in for a few hours to place the food orders for the week and hammer out the schedule for the cooks and wait staff, plus do anything else that was needed around the place.  The longer they had been open, the more efficient they had gotten on their Mondays, and usually Ian was out of there in a couple of hours.  He worked Thursdays through Sundays, and technically on those days he was only expected to be there from one in the afternoon till eleven at night, but he always invariably went in-or was called in-earlier and usually didn’t leave till one in the morning on Friday and Saturday nights.  He loved all the time that gave him to be at home though, especially having all of his Tuesdays and Wednesdays free, except when he needed to cover for vacations and such.  But even on those days, Mike made sure he only worked half shifts the whole week, having him come in for the dinner set only, so he wouldn’t burn out. 

 

Right now Ian was enjoying himself immensely, kneeling at the coffee table with Yev, building a Hobbit set out of Legos. Neither Mickey nor Ian had the means to play with Legos growing up, so they were just as into them as Yevgeny was, and Yevgeny was a prodigy with the little plastic bricks.  From the time they got him his first set of Duplos, the kid just seemed to get it.  And once he was old enough that they didn’t have to worry about the toy being a choking hazard, he had really shown his prowess with the smaller bricks.  Mickey balked at paying more than fifty bucks for a set, but Svetlana had no qualms about buying the bigger more complex sets since Yev could build any and all of them.  From the time he was four, he was putting together the kits that suggested they were age appropriate for eight or nine year olds and up.  Yev was meticulous about taking them apart when they were done and had sat on display in his room for a month or so, returning every dismantled piece to its original box to build again after enough time had passed so that it would almost feel like he was doing it for the first time again.  He also had a couple of big Tupperwear containers of Legos that hadn’t come in sets for building whatever his imagination could come up with, but he knew Ian and his dad preferred to let him use those on his own and liked putting together the sets with him. 

 

They were rebuilding “An Unexpected Gathering”, which was the first Hobbit set Yevgeny had ever built. They had been on a Star Wars kick for quite a while, and Harry Potter before that, so this was the first time in a long time they had built the Hobbiton set.  They had been working on it a while, and technically Ian should’ve been thinking about telling Yev to start getting ready for bed, it was a school night after all, but Yevgeny stilled the idea on Ian’s lips with a question. 

 

“Een? You know the new baby?” Yev said, not looking up from the pieces he was putting together.

 

“Yeah?” Ian said, and then waited.

 

“What do you think the baby will call you?” Yevgeny asked.

 

Ian stopped. He hadn’t really thought about that.  He himself couldn’t ever remember calling his own father, well, de facto father that is, anything other than “Frank”, and as for himself, and what he’d ever be called by a child of his own, he just never thought the day would come.  Now that Yevgeny asked, he gave it some thought.  He never liked the sound of “Papa” he didn’t know why (but he bet his therapist could tell him at least a few reasons no paternal moniker sat well with him), and “Father” was way too formal, especially for a baby to use when it was just starting out, so…

 

“Daddy? I guess?  When it starts to talk, probably?” Ian shrugged.

 

“Well, I’m going to be the baby’s big brother, right?”

 

“You are.” Ian smiled.

 

“And, it’ll learn things from me? Just by watching me and seeing what I do, and what I say, right?”

 

“Yup, that’s one of the most important things about being a big brother-brining the little ones along, teaching them and showing them what you know,” Ian said, also keeping his eyes on his Legos since that’s how Yevgeny seemed to want to play this conversation.

 

Yevgeny let out a heavy sigh. “Well, if the baby’s calling you Daddy…look, there’s a girl in my class, Olivia G., you know her, right?”  Ian nodded.  Yev also had an Olivia R. and an Olivia V. in his class, but he thought he knew which was which.’  “Olivia G.’s mommy married a new daddy for Olivia G. and she still has her old daddy, but she just calls both of them ‘Daddy’-did you know a kid could have more than one daddy?”

 

Ian glanced at Yev and saw his eyes were on Ian, his eyebrows raised just like his father’s would be during an interrogation. Ian nodded solemnly.  “I’m sure it happens a lot, even more now than ever,” Ian said, thinking about same sex couples. 

 

“So, I was thinking…” Yev continued, his demeanor suggesting someone plunging into an icy river and not too sure about their odds of survival, “if the baby is learning from me, and it hears me calling you ‘Een’, it might not get that you’re its daddy and won’t know what to call you…and I was wondering if maybe I could call you Daddy or whatever you want the baby to say too.” The last part came out in a breathless rush and Ian could just see Yev was bracing himself for rejection, and his heart was breaking for the boy.   He wanted to get Mickey’s okay on this before saying anything, and maybe even Svetlana’s, but he didn’t want the kid to feel like it was even a question in Ian’s mind.  He was trying to find the words to say why didn’t they run upstairs and find Mickey when Ian happened to look up and saw Mickey standing in the doorway, leaning against the woodwork with a big smile on his face.  Ian nodded to him slightly, with his eyebrows raised, and Mickey flicked his hand at him in a “get on with it gesture”, the smile on his face beaming at his two favorite boys. 

 

Ian broke into a big smile and said, “I’d be proud to have you call me ‘Daddy’, Yev.”

 

Yevgeny scrambled up off his knees and threw himself into Ian’s arms, hugging Ian’s neck as tight as his little almost eight year old arms would let him. Ian, still on his knees, wrapped his big arms around Yev in a warm hug.   

 

 

“I might forget sometimes and still call you Een,” Yev said into Ian’s shoulder, sounding a bit worried.

 

 

Ian leaned back and looked into Yevgeny’s blue eyes. “I hope you do, I’ll miss it if no one ever calls me that anymore.”   They smiled at each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since today (August 10) is listed as Mickey's birthday on the license he had for seeing Ian at the military base on the show, it felt fitting to post this chapter in celebration of the birth of one of the greatest characters in the history of television/storytelling. 
> 
> I hope to have Part II up a lot sooner than I got Part I posted, and I'm pretty sure that'll be the final chapter, but I'm not setting the final chapter count until I'm sure. Part II is already at 7000 words, and I still have a few scenes to write for it, so...


	12. Epilogue Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big doings.

Five months into the pregnancy, Ian and Mickey were at an appointment with their surrogate, Carolyn. The pregnancy had been uneventful so far, and the more Ian and Mickey got to know Carolyn and her husband, the more they liked them. 

 

At this appointment, Carolyn was having a routine ultrasound. She had had one during the first trimester to confirm the pregnancy was viable, and Ian and Mickey had heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time at that one.  Today’s was just to make sure everything was going as expected, and the doctor felt she wouldn’t be doing one in the third trimester unless something indicated it would be necessary. 

 

Ian and Mickey looked at the screen with interest during the procedure, holding each other’s hand. The image was making things a lot more real for the both of them.  The doctor smiled at them, as did Carolyn. 

 

“Your baby is doing fine,” the doctor told them. “It seems to know it’s having its picture taken today-the position is perfect to see everything we need to see.  Are you interested in knowing the sex?” 

 

Mickey looked at Ian hopefully. Mickey did want to know, but this was Ian’s baby. 

 

Ian looked back at Mickey, and smiled. “I know you want to know…”

 

“Only if you do,” Mickey said quickly, “it’s your baby.”

 

“Hey, it’s your baby too!” Ian insisted. His only hesitation about learning the sex was he didn’t want Mickey to be disappointed if it wasn’t a girl. 

 

“And, I know I said I wanted a girl, but, Ian, honestly, look at that-I love it even if it just looks like a big round head with little arms and legs.”

 

Ian laughed, he knew just what Mickey meant. It honestly didn’t matter what the baby was-it was theirs and it was healthy. 

 

“Well, it would be nice to know, to pick out a name and some clothes and stuff…” Ian said, looking at Mickey with a question in his smiling eyes.

 

“Yeah, that’s important,” Mickey agreed.

 

“Okay, doctor, what can you tell by looking at that?” Ian asked.

 

The doctor smiled. “Well, keeping in mind that something might be hidden, but I really doubt it, because the baby was moving around and giving us some different angles, I’m confident to say that we’re looking at your daughter.” 

 

Mickey whooped and pulled Ian into a hug.

 

Carolyn and the doctor congratulated them and after the appointment Mickey and Ian stopped for ice cream sundaes on their way home to celebrate. They were sitting across from each other at a dainty little table in their favorite ice cream parlor near their house.  They took Yevgeny there all the time, but right now he was in school. 

 

Their knees kept knocking against each other’s, and Ian might be accused of playing a little footsie, but could he help it if he always had a lot of energy plus big feet?

 

In honor of the big news, they had both gotten hot fudge sundaes made with strawberry ice cream, and they were delicious. They both couldn’t stop grinning, and finally Ian brought up something that had been on his mind for a while.

 

“Since we started this baby making process, I always thought, if it was a girl, that the middle name should be Svetlana…what do you think?” Ian asked, sticking a spoonful of sundae into his mouth and watching Mickey.

 

Mickey thought for a moment. “How about just Lana?  It’ll still be for her, but the kid won’t get made fun of for it, and, besides, as far as she and I have come, I don’t exactly want my daughter to be anything like her,” Mickey counteroffered with a laugh. 

 

Ian laughed a little too. “Okay, now what about a first name?” he asked Mickey.  “Are there any names you like?”

 

“Not really; I just figure I’ll give her a nickname when we know what she’s like. You should give her her proper name.  I thought maybe you’d want to use a family name?”  Mickey said.

 

Ian scoffed. “No.  I have always liked the name Piper though.”

 

Mickey asked, “Did you read that in a book?”  


“I got it from Charmed,” Ian admitted sheepishly. “Debs and I used to watch the reruns all summer long.”

 

“I like it,” Mickey said with a smile. “Piper Lana Milkovich Gallagher.”

 

“Just Milkovich,” Ian said quickly. “The world has enough Gallaghers.  Plus, I want Yev and the baby to have the same name.” 

 

“But what about you?” Mickey asked. “Don’t you want to have the same name as your baby?”

 

“Ian Milkovich?” Ian joked, and raised the spoon back to his mouth about to take a bite and Mickey was in mid-bite too, but then they both stopped.

 

Mickey licked his lips. “I really like the sound of that,” he said.

 

“Me too,” Ian whispered.

 

“Ian, will you marry me?”

 

“For real?”

 

“Forever.”

 

Ian broke into that slow smile Mickey’d been in love with for a decade now.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, Mick, I’ll marry you.”

 

They broke the news to Yevgeny first when he got home from school, but that same night they had their sisters all come over-they knew they’d never be forgiven if anyone found out “first” outside of Yev, so they had them over for dinner. They didn’t waste any time, as soon as all three sisters were there, Ian took Mickey’s hand in his and said, “We’re getting married.”  Squeals and hugs and kisses soon followed, then the questions started. 

 

“When?” “Who asked who?”  “Where’s the wedding gonna be held?” and much more was shouted at them all at once.  Mickey and Ian let them get some of it out of their system, and they finally quieted down.  Mickey raised his eyebrows and pointed at Debbie.

 

“When did this happen?” she asked.

 

“This afternoon,” Ian answered with a smile. Then he pointed at Mandy.

 

“Who asked who?” she said.

 

“I asked, he said yes,” Mickey said, looking at Ian with unmistakable affection. All three females “awww’d”. 

 

“Well, tell us all about it!” Fiona burst out, figuring it was her turn. “Where did it happen, how did he ask…”

 

Ian looked at Mickey, and could see he seemed hesitant. Ian felt it too-both of their families meant well, but everybody knew far too much about everyone else as it was.   


“We just want to keep that for ourselves, okay?” Ian said, tearing his eyes off Mickey to look at his older sister. “We love you guys, but, let us have this one thing.”

 

“Was it at least romantic? Or special?” Debbie asked.

 

“Very romantic, very special, very perfect,” Ian said, sincerely. He knew he made the right  decision-putting “we did it over pink sundaes at the ice cream shop” into words would lose a lot of the magic in translation.  Mickey rubbed his chin and blushed adorably. 

 

Mandy smacked Mickey’s chest with the back of her hand. “Way to go, bro.  I knew you had it in ya.” 

 

They all sat down to eat the dinner Ian had cooked, talking happily. Mandy asked where Yev was, and Mickey told her Svetlana had booked a haircut for him that afternoon, and then she and Nika were taking him out for pizza afterwards. 

 

Once everyone finished supper, they were all in the kitchen, laughing and getting in each other’s way as they all tried to “help” clean up.

 

“Tell them the other thing,” Ian said casually, smiling at Mickey.

 

Mickey smiled too, and said, “Oh yeah, we found out today we’re having a girl.” The squealing and the hugs started all over again. 

 

The sisters cleared out early to give the fiancés their privacy, but the guys were waiting for Yevgeny to get home. They hadn’t told him he couldn’t tell Svetlana and Nika about the engagement, so they wondered if he had, plus, they still needed to tell him about the baby being a girl. 

 

When his mom and Nika dropped him off, they invited them in. Everyone took their seats in the living room. 

 

“Did you tell them our news?” Mickey asked. Yev shook his head no and Mickey added, “Would you like to?” Yev broke into a big smile and said, “Dad and Een are getting married!” 

 

Svetlana and Nika were truly happy for them, and said so.

 

“This is why you were smiling all evening?” Svetlana said to her son. “I thought you were pleased with haircut.” 

 

“I was,” Yevgeny said quickly.

 

“Svetlana, don’t bust the kid’s balls. You’ve still got me for that,” Mickey teased his ex-wife to get back at her for teasing their son. 

 

“We also found out the sex of the baby,” Ian said. “Would you like to know, or be surprised?” he asked Yev.  Mickey looked at him like he was out of his mind.  No way would they be able to keep their sisters quiet now that they knew…

 

“Can I guess?” Yev said.

 

“Sure!” Ian told him, while Mickey nodded.

 

“It’s a girl, right?”

 

“How did you know?” Mickey asked.

 

“Because that’s what you and I wanted, and Een wanted what you want, and you’re both happy,” Yev said. Who could fault his logic? 

 

Over the next few days all the women in their life tried to get them to make wedding plans. Ian and Mickey discussed it the first night in bed, and they agreed they didn’t want an actual wedding, although Mickey was reluctant to bring up city hall after a comment that Ian had made years ago that still stung when he thought of it, even though he had tried mightily to let what was said and done that day go.  He was relieved when Ian broached the subject.

 

“Um, I know I was an asshole once about ‘old queens’ getting married at City Hall, but I really don’t want any wedding drama, and I really think just you and me and Yev and a Justice of the Peace would work just fine. Unless you want Mandy or anybody there…”

 

“Naw, any one sister means all the sisters, and Mandy also means Lip, then that means brothers, and we have too many of those…I like your idea best. You, me, Yev.  End of list,” Mickey replied. 

 

Ian broke into a smile. “Yeah?” 

 

“Yeah.”

 

“But, we might have to keep it a total secret, or some of them might try to crash,” Ian said, not sure how Mickey would take that, since he actually thought all their sisters would respect it, and his own brothers wouldn’t give a shit, but the Milkoviches…

 

 

“Oh, definitely. My goon squad of brothers would at least turn up to try to have a destructive party after the wedding, plus they might kidnap me for a night of coke and hookers right beforehand.  We’ll definitely keep this on the DL.  If people get the idea we’re waiting for the baby to be born, we could just let them,” Mickey said, a calculating gleam in his eye. 

 

Ian broke into a smile. “Yeah, and if we did it, say next week, we wouldn’t have to deceive anyone for too long…” 

 

They did agree they needed Svetlana in on it, since they’d need Yevgeny to be dressed nicer than his school clothes-his daily outfit consisted of jeans, a T shirt and his favorite ratty old red Chucks. They figured they could pick him up after school one day and go straight to City Hall. 

 

They sat down for another family meeting, including Nika since they didn’t mind her knowing and everyone understood they were sworn to secrecy, but Svetlana didn’t like their plan.

 

“You need honeymoon,” she insisted. “Time off from work, time for just you two.” 

 

Ian was immediately in love with the idea, Mickey could see that.

 

“It would be nice to steal some ‘us’ time before the baby comes,” he said, his big puppy eyes imploring Mickey. “This would be a good time to get away, college graduations are over, the restaurant usually glides into the summer months…”  It was early June, their baby was due in October. 

 

Mickey rubbed the back of his neck. Since he did ventilation design, all this projects that were going to be installed by the time summer’s heat moved in where already out of his hands, it was actually a good time of year for him to take a vacation as well.  His bosses might not be thrilled about the short notice, but what the hell, he could at least ask. 

 

“Okay, so, you find out tomorrow, and now we’ll plan honeymoon. Nika, get the laptop, please,” Svetlana said, once Mickey said he could probably get a week off. 

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Would you let us plan our own lives, please?” Mickey groused.

 

“No. Honeymoon will be our wedding present to you,” Sveltana said, giving Nika a sweet smile when she handed her the computer.

 

“Guys, no, that’s too much, after all you’ve done for us with the baby…” Ian said, being sure to speak up before Mickey put things a bit more rudely.

 

“We want to,” Nika said simply. “You are the only family we’ve got, and family does for family.” 

 

“So, what are you thinking? Islands?  Mountains?  Where do you want to go?” Svetlana asked, considering the matter settled. 

 

“How about Chicago?” Mickey snarked.

 

Svetlana turned to Nika and they both said, “The Langham.”

 

“What’s that?” Yevgeny piped up. He was sitting on the couch between Mickey and Ian.  Svetlana was sitting on their oversized recliner and Nika had perched herself on the arm after giving Svetlana the computer.

 

“It is a five star hotel downtown,” Nika told Yev. “Many of our clients like it, we’ve been many times.” 

 

“They have everything-indoor pool, spa, health club, suites, fancy restaurants and bars,” Svetlana was reading the amenities off the hotel’s website. “Ooh, some of the suites have fireplaces…” “We have a fireplace right here,” Mickey said, pointing, even though they were in Svetlana and Nika’s house.  Theirs was in the same place.  “Besides, it’s summer.” 

 

“But you could get away without really having to go anywhere,” Nika said. “And you’ll be close to almost anything you want to do downtown, or go anywhere.”

 

“You could go to Six Flags,” Svetlana said, hoping to entice Mickey with his love of rollercoasters. “And then go back to fancy hotel and dress up for dinner and sleep in a king size bed…” “Everything after Six Flags sounds like stuff you’d like to do,” Mickey grumbled.

 

But Ian was getting an idea. “It does sound like their kind of place-why don’t you guys go there, and we’ll stay here?” Ian said.

 

“What?” Mickey and Svetlana both said at once.

 

“Think about it-they can get away, they work hard, they deserve a break too, and we can just…hide out here. Our family and work can think we’re away, and we’ll just have the place to ourselves,” Ian said, giving Mickey a significant look. 

 

Nika was liking the sound of this. “Yes, we could take Yev, and stay in the suite, and go to Six Flags and Navy Pier…” 

 

“I’d like to go to the Field Museum,” Yevgeny spoke up.

 

“But you’d like the nice hotel with the big pool, too, yes?” Svetlana asked, seeing Mickey was warming up to this idea much more than he was to the idea of staying there himself.

 

Mickey rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “We’ll be here and we could take Yev to the museum,” he thought aloud.

 

“And a Sox game,” Ian grinned. Yev nodded vigorously at that idea. 

 

Mickey let out a little laugh, looking at his two guys looking back at him so hopefully.

 

“Honeymoon at home sounds like the perfect honeymoon to me,” Mickey said. Yev cheered and scrambled off the couch to look at the website with his mom and Nika, and Ian leaned over and gave Mickey a quick kiss. 

 

Afterwards, Mickey got Svetlana alone for a moment. “You sure about all this?  Taking Yev and everything?  I feel like we ambushed you and didn’t give you a choice to say no with him right there…”

 

Svetlana just gave him one of her looks. “If you and Orange Boy went away, of course Yevgeny would be with me.  This is even nicer, we stay downtown.” 

 

“If you’re sure…” Mickey said, wanting to enjoy it, but feeling like he somehow didn’t deserve to get everything his way, plus getting to marry Ian too.

 

“I am sure. I buy fabulous wedding present and I’m the one who gets to enjoy it.  Win-win.”  She smiled.  

 

 

They were both able to get the time off from work, and the day of their wedding they kind of let the time get away from them as they enjoyed their last hours of premarital sex. The night before, Yev stayed at his mom’s house, so they got the honeymoon started early, rather than having any kind of a bachelor party, even just between the two of them.  Ian cooked them a special dinner, steaks so rare they were practically mooing, and they had homemade strawberry shortcake for dessert; Ian whipped the cream himself and made biscuits so light they almost floated off the plate. 

 

“Jesus, Ian, who knew when I fell for you all those years ago, I’d be getting myself a chef in the bargain?” Mickey said, moaning in pleasure as he popped the last bit of juice soaked cream covered goodness into his mouth. Ian blushed.  He still felt weird being called a chef-he knew Mickey was half teasing, but it had taken him a long while to get used to all the culinary school-trained staff at the restaurant calling him “Chef”.  Truth be told, he didn’t think he’d ever be used to it, it was more like he’d found a way to live with it by now. 

 

When Ian didn’t say anything back, Mickey stared at him for a moment across the candle-lit table. “What do I even bring to the marriage?” he let slip out loud-he hadn’t meant to.

 

“Everything,” Ian said, broken out of his reverie and smiling at his groom to be.

 

Mickey smiled back. He could see Ian meant it.  “Yeah, well, you’re everything I ever wanted too, so…” Mickey pushed his chair back and stood up, holding his hand out to Ian.  Ian pulled himself up from his spot at the table and they blew out the candles and they headed up to bed.  The dishes would just have to wait till morning, or early afternoon as it turned out, since they slept in and then let showering together lead them back to bed the next day… 

 

Now they were running around after taking separate second showers, less than twenty minutes left to them before they needed to pick up Yevgeny at school, trying to find nice enough clothes to get married in. They hadn’t planned it out or stressed about it beforehand, since they now had nice clothes in their lives for the various business things Mickey had to attend and Ian went to restaurant openings and stuff. 

 

“Ay, do I have to wear a tie for this shit?” Mickey yelled, buttoning up a midnight blue dress shirt that did incredible things for his eyes as Ian was fighting his wet hair into less curliness in their bathroom.

 

“No,” Ian called back, running gel through his hair. “We should be comfortable and we’re not trying to impress anyone,” he said, walking to the open doorway, the words dying on his lips as he saw Mickey sliding his belt through the loops of his black pants.  Ian looked him down and up, from his dress shoes to his perfectly slicked back hair, he looked impeccable.  Then he opened his mouth and Ian could still see that South Side thug rat he had fallen for at fifteen.

 

“What the fuck are you lookin’ at? And you’re not even dressed yet?  We gotta go in fifteen minutes.”  Mickey strode across the room to where Ian was, whipped the towel off from around his waist, and pretended to snap it at him.  ‘Get your ass movin’, Fire Crotch, we ain’t got all day!” 

 

Ian smiled and kissed him gently on the lips, and Mickey smiled back, ducking his chin and looking up at Ian from under his smoky eyelashes. “Come on, I can’t wait to finally make an honest man outta ya.”  His voice was a low, gravely purr. 

 

Ian got dressed in record time, choosing a pair of charcoal gray pants and a white button down shirt and his black dress shoes. He gathered up the folder with their marriage license inside, along with the pre-addressed envelope that had come with it, so it could be filed once the ceremony was performed.  Mickey put Ian in charge of the paperwork, claiming he had his “own shit” to keep track of.  Ian just assumed he meant Yevgeny and let it go with a smile.  He was well accustomed to Mickey’s ways by now. 

 

Mickey was waiting impatiently by the door, his hands in his pockets, jingling his keys as Ian looked into the folder for about the twentieth time making sure what they needed was in there. Why they made you wait to get married at least twenty-four hours after issuing the license made no sense to him, it just let pressure build.  He and Mickey had obtained the license the previous week, they day after they got engaged. 

 

Driving to Yevgeny’s school Mickey asked, “What if Svetlana made Yev wear a tie?”

 

“We’ll just take it off him,” Ian grinned. “Unless, of course, he wants to wear it.” 

 

Mickey scoffed. No son of his would willingly wear a tie.

 

Yev came running to them when they pulled up to the school in the parent pick up line. He was wearing brand new khakis and a new short sleeved checkered shirt, the little squares were all dark blue and white.  Ian looked down at his shirt, then Mickey’s and said, “I guess we’re predictable?”  Even though they hadn’t decided until the very last minute what they would wear, Svetlana seemed to guess with perfect accuracy. 

 

Yevgeny threw himself into the backseat and buckled up. “Hi, guys!” he smiled brightly. 

 

Mickey started driving, and Ian twisted around in the seat to smile at him. “Hey, Yev.  Snazzy shirt, looking good.” 

 

“You too, Een. Your hair looks nice.”  Yevgeny still called Ian “Een” even though he had been able to pronounce the name correctly for years now.  And they hadn’t discussed it, but Ian just assumed Yev was waiting for the baby to be born before he started calling him Daddy. 

 

They found parking and made their way to City Hall. Right outside the entrance they needed to use to get to Marriage Court, a man spoke to them. 

 

“Ian Gallagher?” he asked, looking up at Ian’s hair.

 

“Who the fuck are you?” Mickey growled, ready to throw down.

 

“Svetlana sent me? You must be Mickey?  Here, this is for you,” he said nervously, thrusting an envelope in Mickey’s direction. 

 

Mickey snatched it out of his hand, tore it open, and read the note inside aloud so Yevgeny and Ian would know what it said.

 

“This man is a photographer. The sisters may not kill you if they get to see pictures.  Do not kill him.  Let him do his job.  Love, S.” 

 

Ian and Yev were smiling at the man, Mickey was still scowling. “We don’t have time for this shit,” he grumped. 

 

“Ah, come on, Mickey. Svetlana’s right.  Maybe our sisters won’t tear our balls off if we can let them see what we cheated them out of,” Ian said, eyes twinkling at his intended. 

 

Mickey rolled his eyes. “You’ve got two minutes,” he told the guy.

 

“Uh, okay, um, yes, yes sir.” The photographer was quickly pulling a bag around from the back of his body, fumbling to unzip it and get his camera out.  Ian was beaming at Mickey, and Mickey was slightly mollified by the man calling him “sir”-the photographer had to be a good fifteen years older than Mickey. 

 

The photographer was ready in no time, and had Mickey and Ian stand in front of a little circle of flowers under a tree outside the building. It was a beautiful sunny afternoon.  He snapped off a few shots before Mickey started to walk away. 

 

“Mick, wait, come on, let’s get a couple with Yevgeny,” Ian said. The photographer nodded gratefully. 

 

They went inside after taking some more photos and waited in a short line and put their names in. The clerk told them they’d probably be called in about half an hour, so Ian talked Mickey into going back outside for a few more pictures.  They found a bench that Yev could stand on so he’d be up at their level for some shots, then the photographer wanted a few more of Mickey and Ian.  Yevgeny was standing next to the photographer and he watched as the men got set, then giggled as the picture was taken. 

 

Ian called to Yev, “Is he doing bunny ears?” Yev laughed and nodded.  Ian looked at Mickey with an expression of absolute adoration, and the photographer snapped that. 

 

Mickey was looking back at Ian with a smile and the photographer kept snapping and then was calling, “Okay, now one looking at me please? And one more?  And now looking at each other…”  People walking by were stopping to watch, and Mickey got self-conscious. 

 

“Okay, okay, that’s enough. Let’s go inside so we don’t miss our turn,” Mickey said, glaring at the people watching.  They scattered quickly.  Mickey was digging out his wallet, and he pulled out a twenty, holding it out to the photographer. 

 

“What’s that for?” the photographer asked, puzzled.

 

“It’s a tip, you’re done. Thanks,” Mickey said shortly. 

 

The photographer looked to Ian, confused.

 

“Mickey, I’m sure Svetlana hired him to do the ceremony too. He’s coming back in with us,” Ian said soothingly. 

 

Mickey’s eyebrows rose threateningly, but Ian pretended not to notice. “Mick, come on, I’d like to be able to have pictures to remember today by.”

 

“Fine,” Mickey huffed. “But no more yapping at us,” he said to the photographer.  “Just be quiet in there, no more telling us where to look and ‘just one more’, you got me?”  The poor guy nodded.  They all went back inside, the photographer following at a safe distance. 

 

They still had some time to wait, the couple that had been in front of them in the line was still waiting on the benches outside the courtroom for their turn, so Mickey decided to take Yev to find a vending machine.

 

“You want anything?” he asked Ian.

 

“I could share a water, if either of you are having one,” Ian said.

 

“Yo, Jimmy Olsen! You want anything?  I’m buying!” Mickey said, startling the photographer so much he would’ve dropped the camera he was reloading if it weren’t hanging from a strap around his neck.

 

“Oh, thank you, sir, but no. I’m fine.” 

 

Mickey shrugged, and put his hand on Yevgeny’s shoulder. “Let’s go, Tough Guy,” he said, and the two of them walked off chatting to each other. 

 

The photographer was shooting both digital and film, so he was showing Ian the digital images on his camera when Mickey and Yevgeny came back. They were grinning at Ian so devilishly, that had Yev been one of Mickey’s brothers instead, Ian would’ve wondered if they had been talking dirty about him, but Ian knew that couldn’t be the case here. 

 

“Here you go, Een,” Yev said, handing over a bottle of water that was already two-thirds gone. “We saved you some.”

 

“Thanks, Yev.” Ian took a sip.  “You guys want any more of this?”  They both shook their heads no, so Ian finished it off and put the bottle in a recycling bin. 

 

“Gallagher Malkovich?” a voice called.

 

“It’s Milkovich,” Ian said, when he, Mickey, and Yev, with the photographer following close behind, got up to the clerk.

 

“Yeah, good for you, just make sure it’s right on the license, okay, buddy?” the bored clerk said, snapping her gum.

 

Ian got a panicked look on his face and pulled the folder out again. Mickey rested his hand over Ian’s.  “It’s right, you checked it a million times.  We’re good.”  Ian smiled at him gratefully. 

 

“You’re up, through those doors, please,” the clerk told them.

 

“Nervous?” Mickey asked, drawing his breath in, giving Ian the eyebrows.

 

Ian broke into a big smile. “I’ve never been so ready to do something in my life.  Let’s get married.”  He took Mickey’s hand with one of his own, tucked the folder under his arm, and tookYev’s hand with his now free hand, and they went inside. 

 

They met the judge and she briefly explained the ceremony. “Basically I’ll read the vows, you will repeat them to one another, and we’ll sign the license and you’ll give it to the clerk in its envelope to be filed.  Do you have your own vows?”  They shook their heads.  “And how about rings?” 

 

Ian started to say no, but Yevgeny’s voice stopped him.

 

“Yes!” he said excitedly, and Ian looked down to see Yevgeny holding up a square velvet box that he opened, showing two rings inside. Ian looked at Yev’s happy toothless smile right above the box, then looked at Mickey. 

 

“They’re not engraved or anything, so we can take them back and exchange them for any ring you’d like. I didn’t mean to not let you pick, but I wanted to surprise you,” Mickey said, rubbing the back of his neck but still watching Ian closely to see his reaction. 

 

Ian looked at the rings again-simple gold bands that looked exactly what a wedding band should look like-if a man had one of those on the third finger of his left hand, there was no question what it was. Ian thought that was just like Mickey-plain, direct, obvious.  “They’re perfect,” Ian said.  “I love them.”   Something dawned on him.  “Is that what you guys were talking about when you got the water?”

 

Yev bobbed his head up and down. “I was with Dad when he bought them, but he had to hold on to them while I was in school.  But I’m the best man, I have to hand them to you when the judge says.”

 

The judge smiled at Yevgeny. “That’s exactly right.  I’ll let you know when.  So, are we ready to begin?”  She pointed out where they should stand, Yevgeny standing next to Mickey as best man.  The photographer was in position, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. 

 

“All right, shall we get started?” the judge said. Ian and Mickey nodded and joined hands.  “Ian, please repeat after me: I, Ian Gallagher, take you, Mickey Milkovich to be my lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live.”  Ian repeated the words, his eyes never leaving Mickey’s, the smile on his face glowing and sweet. 

 

“Mickey,” the judge resumed, “please repeat after me…”

 

Mickey’s smile beamed as he finally got to say the words he had carried in his heart all this time for Ian. “I, Mickey Milkovich, take you, Ian Gallagher to be my lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, forsaking all others, as long as we both shall live.”  Ian’s eyes filled with tears hearing Mickey get to say those words to him again; this time he was ready and accepting.

 

“The rings, please,” the judge said and Yevgeny held the box up right on cue. “Ian, again, repeat after me-with this ring, I thee wed.” 

 

Ian took a ring out of the box and slid it onto Mickey’s finger, pushing it past the U tattoo as he recited the words. “With this ring, I thee wed.”  His voice was deep and husky. 

 

“Mickey?” the judge said, indicating the ring box. Mickey picked up the other ring with his right hand, smoothing his left hand over Yevgeny’s cheek and giving him a little wink. 

 

“With this ring, I thee wed,” Mickey told Ian, sliding the ring onto his finger.

 

“By the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, I know pronounce you legally wed. You may kiss your husband,” the judge smiled. Mickey and Ian leaned into each other and kissed, gently putting their hands on each other and then pulling into a hug.  The photographer didn’t need to ask them to take more time, he had plenty of opportunity to circle all around them getting his shots. 

 

The couple finally broke the kiss and pulled Yev into a group hug. Everyone was smiling and laughing.  The judge signed the license for them and reminded them where to turn it in, then it was time for them to clear out so the next couple could go in. 

 

After they handed in the license to get it filed, Ian asked Mickey, “How did you know my ring size?” Mickey picked up Ian’s left hand and ran his thumb over the ring.

 

“I got them both the same size,” Mickey shrugged. “Whenever we have our hands together, our fingers looked like the same width, yours are just longer.”  He smiled, raising an eyebrow a bit. 

 

They went back outside, each of them holding one of Yevgeny’s hands. The photographer spoke up hesitatingly. 

 

“Um, if I could get…” he swallowed nervously, “just one more? Svetlana specifically instructed me to get a shot of you showing your rings…” 

 

Mickey laughed. “Sure, man, you can get that-Svetlana’s scary, right?”  The photographer nodded gratefully.  Mickey said to Yevgeny, “Get on up here,” and picked him up with his right arm.  Normally Yev would protest he was too big for that sort of thing, but he was caught up in the excitement of the ceremony and would do anything to keep his dad’s happiness rolling. 

 

Ian put his right arm around Mickey, and they all looked into the camera while Mickey and Ian flipped their ring fingers up and tried to look badass, but their smiles gave them away. Yevgeny’s missing front teeth grin just added to the portrait. 

 

The photographer thanked them and went to slip the camera strap over his head to put it away when Mickey said, “Hey, buddy, can we get just one more? Of me and my boys here?”  The photographer grinned and nodded and held the camera up to look through the viewfinder.

 

“Daddy, why don’t you hold me for this one?” Yevgeny said to Ian, and Ian thought he might melt right into the lawn they were standing on. Mickey handed Yev over with a big smile, and Ian settled him on his left hip, Mickey still on his right. 

 

“Scrunch all your faces together, please,” the photographer called out, and they obliged. Ian’s big green eyes between the two sets of blue eyes made a breathtaking picture, if the photographer thought so himself.  They all looked so happy. 

 

“Okay, guys, I think that’s it,” the photographer said. “I’ll be emailing Svetlana the digital images, and she told me you’ll make an appointment after a week or so to come in and see the proofs and pick out pictures from the film.  Thanks for everything, you were great, and congratulations.” 

 

Mickey walked over, taking out his wallet again and this time getting out a hundred dollar bill. He shook the man’s hand, pressing the bill into it.  “Thank you, you did a great job, I’ll be sure to tell Svetlana.  Can’t wait to see your work.” 

 

“This really isn’t necessary, Svetlana’s taking care of the bill…” the man tried to proest.

 

“Nonsense, man, you had to put up with a lot. Buy yourself or your sweetie something nice,” Mickey said, smiling. 

 

“Aw, thanks, and to all of you-a lifetime of happiness!” the photographer said, knowing that they had a very good chance at it. He’d seen plenty of weddings, and this was the most relaxed and in love couple he had ever worked with, and the cute kid was just the cherry on top. 

 

 

The newlyweds returned home, to be greeted by Svetlana and Nika. They were led to their own kitchen and Nika explained there was a wedding feast all ready for them whenever they got hungry.  The dining room table had been set, all they had to do was heat up the food and light the candles. 

 

“You guys, you’ve done too much already,” Ian tried to protest, but what was done was done.

 

“It’s just a simple meal of salad and lobster thermidor,” Svetlana sniffed. “You just have to finish baking it for ten minutes, and cook some string beans.”

 

“And we got you a wedding cake!” Yev told them.

 

“You did? Well, we’ve gotta share that with you!” Mickey said to his son.

 

“It will spoil his dinner,” Svetlana said. “So?” all three males in the room said in unison. 

 

Svetlana wasn’t looking to ruin this special day, so she thought quickly to come up with a solution and still save face.

 

“Fine, cake now, then we’ll go to the hotel and you’ll swim and work up your appetite for dinner,” she said, adding, “I’m sure your dads will find a way to work up their appetites as well.”

 

Mickey grinned at her, then at Ian. They’d wind up having their cake and lobster thermidor too, and it was all delicious. 

 

After the cake, but before they left, Svetlana showed them the picture the photographer emailed her, the one of Mickey and Ian flipping their ring fingers at the camera with Yev’s smiling face in there too.

 

“I figured you could send this to all your brothers and sisters, to let them know you got married and to tell them you’re taking a secret honeymoon and if they need to get ahold of you to call me and I’ll relay the message. Ian, tell your work people too,” Svetlana said, knowing how often the restaurant called or texted Ian during his time off.  “Say I only have access because of Yev, I don’t need any of your sisters hexing me.”  She was only half kidding.

 

“I gotta admit, that’s a good idea. None of them would let almost an entire week go by without talking to us,” Ian said.

 

“Yeah, thanks, Svetlana. Is that it, or did you think of anything else for us to take care of when you were thinking of everything?” Mickey said.  Svetlana and Ian both knew Mickey well enough by now to know that he was truly thankful for everything Svetlana had done to make their wedding day and honeymoon go smoothly. 

 

“I think you can handle everything else,” she said, and Mickey snorted out a laugh.

 

She forwarded the picture to Ian, and he worded the email with some input from Mickey, and they sent it off to all who needed it. Ian’s phone started to go off with email notifications, so he just muted it and put it aside.  Mickey’s was probably doing the same thing, but his had been on mute since before the wedding ceremony. 

 

“Tonight’s just about us,” Ian said.

 

“You don’t have to twist my arm,” said Mickey. “As soon as we get some alone time…” He raised his eyebrows at Svetlana. 

 

“We are going. Come, Yevgeny, I packed your clothes, but I thought you might want to bring some books and your games,” Svetlana said.

 

Yev ran over to Mickey and hugged him tight, and Mickey leant down to whisper something in his ear and then kissed him on the cheek. “Be good for your mom,” Mickey said, ruffling the boy’s hair.

 

“I will,” Yevgeny said. Then he went to Ian and reached for a hug.  Ian swooped him right up into his arms and spun him around halfway, Yev’s legs flying out while Ian planted a kiss on his cheek. 

 

“I hope it’s okay I already called you ‘Daddy’, Een, even though the baby’s not here to hear it yet,” Yevgeny said seriously, looking into Ian’s eyes once he stopped moving.

 

“That’s perfectly all right,” Ian smiled. “I liked the sound of it.”  Yevgeny lit up into one of his big toothless smiles.  Ian also loved that Yev still called him Een after all these years.  When he talked about Ian to his friends or teachers, he pronounced it with the two syllables like everyone else, but when he was talking to Ian or anyone in their extended family circle about him, he was still Een, and he hoped he always would be when Yevgeny called him by name.  

 

After one more round of goodbye kisses between everyone, the women and Yevgeny were out the door.

 

Ian looked at Mickey and grinned. “So, about working up an appetite for our supper-you wanna get in the pool?  Or in our bed?  Either way we get naked…” he raised his red eyebrows at his new spouse. 

 

“Let’s give them a few minutes to get away,” Mickey said, jerking his head back towards the door.

 

Mickey casually kept an eye out their living room picture window and saw when Svetlana drove past, honking the horn and all three of the occupants waving as Mickey and Ian waved back. As soon as the car was out of sight, Ian grabbed Mickey around the waist and spun them both so they were face to face. 

 

“Let’s find out what married sex is like,” Ian said, grinning.

 

Mickey smiled and let Ian attack his lips, kissing back with all the considerable passion he felt for his groom. But when Ian started to nuzzle down Mickey’s neck, Mickey pulled away a bit, but still held on to Ian around the waist.

 

“Hey, I wanted to tell you something,” Mickey said, looking into Ian’s eyes.

 

“Mmm?” Ian replied, his hormones already directing his blood flow far below his ears. He slid his hands down to Mickey’s ass and pulled him closer so their bodies were flush against one another.

 

“Can you let me say this, please?” Mickey said, gently trying to extricate himself. “It’s important.”

 

“Sure, Mick, what’s up?” Ian said, putting his hands back on Mickey’s hips and backing up a step.

 

“I…I just wanted to be sure to say something.” Mickey hesitated, trying to find the right words.  Ian just looked at him expectantly, he knew Mickey well enough that whatever was on Mickey’s mind, it wasn’t a bad thing. 

 

“Maybe I should’ve tried to say it at the courthouse, but there were all those people around…and Yev, he’s too little to hear this…” Mickey made an attempt at starting again.  Ian just smiled at him encouragingly.  “Okay, Ian, it’s this-I love you, and I know you know that, but…if I hadn’t met you, if you hadn’t loved me, I don’t think I would’ve ever been able to love anybody.  I’ve always wanted to tell you this, but I never knew how and the time was never right, but…I was broken, frozen, when I met you.  Terry not only had me hating myself and anyone like me, but even before that, before I knew what any of those feelings-before I even had those feelings in me, he made sure none of us would be happy.  If he so much as sensed I loved my mom or Mandy, he would’ve hurt them to get to me, so I…froze all of it.  I didn’t let myself feel any love for them, in case it might slip out and he’d see it, you know?” 

 

Ian nodded slowly. As far as Mickey had come with talking about things, this was still the most he had ever said about what he felt had been going on inside him before he met Ian. 

 

“I just…I don’t even know what my life would be if you never, if you hadn’t, you know, put up with everything and kept trying with me. I just thought you should know that,” Mickey said, wishing he could find better words, he felt like Ian deserved to know what he meant, but it was hard to say it right.

 

Ian brought his hands up and cradled Mickey’s face. “I think I get it, Mick.  And I think I owe you for never giving up on me, too.  I…”  But Mickey kissed him before Ian could say anything more.  Mickey didn’t want or need Ian to rehash the times they were apart, Mickey felt they were about equal when it came to that stuff-they both had made mistakes and both had been forgiving-and they had put it all behind them a while ago. 

 

Mickey finally broke the soft, deep kiss he hoped was telling Ian all he really felt, and whispered, “I love you, Ian.”

 

Ian smiled into Mickey’s eyes. “Mickey, will you dance with me?”

 

A bit of a scowl passed over Mickey’s features. “What?  Why-you know I don’t dance.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s our wedding day, and I feel like we should have one official dance-I’ll pick something slow, don’t worry.” Ian slipped from Mickey’s grasp and picked up the TV remote and cued up Spotify.  He rapidly found a song and it started playing, filling their living room with soft music.  Ian tossed the remote onto the couch and put his hands up on Mickey’s shoulders, nudging him with his hips so Mickey would put his arms around him.

 

The song was Heart’s On Fire by Passenger, and it was slow and soft. It was just acoustic guitar, violins, and the singer’s voice.  Ian and Mickey stood there barely swaying, like two kids at their first sixth grade mixer.

 

“Ian, what is this? There’s no beat and you can’t dance to it…” “That’s what makes it perfect, since you can’t dance,” Ian whispered directly into Mickey’s ear, his warm breath ghosting over Mickey’s earlobe.  He shuffled his feet so they were on either side of Mickey’s and pulled him in closer.  Mickey slid his hands from Ian’s waist to around his back, letting Ian rock them from side to side, their feet barely moving them in a slow circle. 

 

“Think you’re funny, don’t ya?” Mickey murmured.

 

Ian stuck out his chin like he did when he was trying to impress Mickey. “Am I wrong?” he said, eyes sparkling. 

 

“I’m dancing now, you can save that sass,” Mickey said, getting a laugh out of Ian. Mickey pulled him closer again and closed his eyes, letting the song and Ian’s warmth take over till the end of the song. 

 

When the song ended, Mickey opened his eyes to see Ian staring at him. “So, should we…?” Ian whispered. 

 

Mickey grinned. “We should.”  He took Ian’s hand and led him to the stairs. 

 

Up in their room, they kissed, slowly and letting it build. When they finally broke for air, Mickey toed his shoes off, and Ian followed his example.  Then Mickey reached out and started unbuttoning Ian’s shirt, taking his time as he worked his way down.  Ian stared at him thoughtfully. 

 

“So gentle,” he said, when Mickey happened to take his eyes off his fingers for a moment to glance up at Ian.

 

“It’s your best shirt, don’t want to ruin it,” Mickey said.

 

“Can’t ruin anything tonight,” Ian smiled. Mickey got to the end of the buttons and pushed the shirt off of Ian, letting his hands run over his shoulders as he did so.

 

Ian’s long nimble fingers found Mickey’s belt buckle and undid that, and then Ian untucked Mickey’s shirt and he started undoing Mickey’s buttons from the top, while Mickey unbuttoned the ones at the bottom. They got his shirt off too and when they were finally skin to skin they just melted into each other.  They fell onto the bed, kissing and touching.

 

“Unnnn,” Mickey groused when they finally had to break for some air. “Now we just gotta get back up to take our pants off.”

 

Ian was lying under him and laughed. “We’ll manage somehow,” he said, working his pants open and wriggling his hips as he started pushing them down.  Mickey grunted and pushed himself up off the bed. 

 

“So inefficient-get your lazy ass up,” Mickey said, pulling his pants and boxers down and stepping out of them.

 

While Mickey was pulling off his socks Ian said, “Well, you’re up already-wouldn’t it be more efficient for you to just help me?”

 

Mickey laughed at Ian and grabbed the cuffs of his pants. “I can see how this marriage is gonna go-you’ve got me whipped already.”  Mickey got Ian’s pants off, then his boxers, then his socks.  Ian stayed on his back, beaming a loving look at Mickey. 

 

“I’ll make it up to you next time,” Ian said. “I’ll pull your pants off while you’re lying down.”

 

Mickey snorted. “You say that now, but you’ll forget.  You’ll already be lying down before we think of it again.”  Mickey went to the closet and hung up Ian’s pants, then scooped his own pair up off the floor and hung those up as well.  They were their good pants, after all.  Ian wanted to tell him to leave it, but the view of Mickey’s ass was pretty enjoyable.   

 

“I’ll give you a backrub next time you have a long day stuck at your computer,” Ian tried.

 

“Ain’t going back to work for a week,” Mickey said, finally getting back to the bed and crawling up over Ian, placing his hands on either side of Ian’s head on the pillow. He cocked an eyebrow at Ian.

 

Ian was looking into Mickey’s eyes, trying to think fast of something else he could do. A smile spread across his face.

 

“I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow-pancakes. We have a brand new bottle of Mrs. Butterworth’s in the cupboard.  I’ll peel that syrup open for you so good…”

 

Mickey was definitely intrigued. “You’ll mash bananas into the batter?” Mickey asked.

 

“I will,” Ian promised seriously.

 

“Deal,” Mickey said, giving his lips a quick lick and then going in for a kiss.

 

The kiss started slowly, but sensuously, Ian’s lips responding with equal gentleness, but knowing what Mickey liked. Ian sucked Mickey’s bottom lip between his own for a moment, then opened his mouth and relaxed, letting Mickey slide his tongue in.  Mickey lingered there a while, and then worked his way down Ian’s jaw and neck, eliciting soft moans out of Ian that had him bringing his face back up to Ian’s, going in for an open mouthed kiss.  Ian cradled the back of Mickey’s head and pulled him in even closer, letting their noses smush into each other’s cheeks.  Ian slowly trailed his hands down Mickey’s back, and then grabbed onto his ass, each of his big hands massaging and kneading the mounds of flesh he loved so.

 

Mickey groaned into the kiss and pulled away a little, staring down into Ian’s eyes.

 

“I love you, Ian.”

 

Ian smiled. “Love you too.  A lot.  Let me show you.”  Ian pushed on Mickey’s shoulders and gently rolled them both over, so now he was on top.  Mickey wrapped his legs around Ian’s hips as Ian kissed him everywhere-lips, cheeks, earlobe, neck, collar bone, shoulder.  Ian worked down to one of Mickey’s nipples and flicked his tongue over it a few times, then gently bit on it with his teeth.  Mickey groaned and raised his hips making as much contact as he could with Ian.  They were both starting to get hard.  Mickey reached between them and ran his fingers through Ian’s springy pubic hair for a couple of seconds before taking Ian’s cock in his hand and giving it some strokes.  He felt Ian’s lips smile against his pec and Ian gave a soft moan.  Ian took one hand off the mattress where it was holding him up and gave Mickey a couple of firm tugs. 

 

“Get the lube,” Mickey panted.

 

“Yeah,” Ian purred back, releasing Mickey’s cock for a few seconds to scramble his hand around in the nightstand drawer. “Why do we ever put this away?”

 

“Cuz we have an eight year old living with us half the time?” Mickey snarked, still stroking Ian.

 

“Oh, yeah, good reason. Mickey, stop that or I’m gonna come too soon.” 

 

“Make me.”

 

Ian barked out a surprised laugh. “What’s gotten into you?”

 

“Nothing, yet. You planning on getting going anytime soon?” 

 

Ian actually stopped what he was doing. “Is something going on?  And don’t give me a wiseass answer.”  Ian could tell Mickey was about to say something sarcastic again.

 

Mickey blinked. Then sighed.  “This is…kinda intense.  Don’t wanna mess it up.  I want this to be good…for you.”

 

“Mick, when hasn’t it ever been good? Even at our worst, this is always what we do best.”  Ian couldn’t figure out why Mickey was being so tentative. 

 

“This is important, this time. Our first time being married…”

 

Ian’s eyes filled up with tears, but he was smiling. “Oh, you romantic idiot,” Ian breathed out with a little laugh.

 

“Am not!” Mickey insisted.

 

“Aren’t you though?” Ian asked gently, bringing his hand up to rub his thumb over the plane of Mickey’s cheekbone. Mickey reached up and lightly wrapped his hand around Ian’s wrist, not to stop his caresses, just to touch him too.  “Mickey, intense is good, gentle is good, hot and hurried is good-it’s being with you that makes it all good, okay?  It’s special for me every time, I promise you.” 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Isn’t it usually good for you?” Ian asked, eyebrows raised.

 

“Of course, why would you even ask…oh.”

 

“Yeah, ooooh,” Ian dragged out, kissing Mickey at the end. They parted for air after a bit and Mickey couldn’t take his eyes off of Ian’s swollen red lips.  Mickey grabbed both sides of Ian’s head and pulled him in for another kiss, this one deeper and longer than the last. 

 

“Ian, I’m not saying it’s ever been anything less than great, especially since we moved into our own house,” Mickey said, sort of hiding his face and speaking into Ian’s neck.   “It’s just…I feel like every wish I ever had has now come true, and life’s never been this good…and…”  He trailed off, just grabbing Ian tighter and wishing he hadn’t ever opened his mouth.

 

“And you’re waiting for it to all blow up?” Ian said gently, pulling away a bit and tilting Mickey’s chin up with his fingertips. “Mickey, if there is such a thing as karma, you’ll have nothing but good days for the rest of your life.  You’ve had more than your share of the bad.  You’ve worked hard to build what we have.  It’s strong-you can believe in it.”  Ian’s voice was thick, but he spoke with conviction.  He understood why Mickey was anxious, and it hurt him to his very core that Mickey had so many reasons to believe anything good would just be torn away from him. 

 

“You’re the strongest man I know, Mickey. And you’ve got me fighting in your corner.  No one’s going to get at what we have, all right?” 

 

Mickey nodded. He’d just have to be brave.  For Ian, he knew he could be.  He kissed Ian again.  “I love you, Ian.” 

 

Ian smiled. “I love you too-you ready to see how much?” 

 

Mickey laughed a soft little laugh. “Yeah.  Yeah, I’m ready.”

 

Ian went back to kissing him and let one of his hands run down the length of Mickey’s arm and then down to the side of his thigh. He dug his hand into Mickey’s flesh and started kneading there, and Mickey arched his back up a little and spread his legs some more so Ian could settle in between them.  Mickey brought his hands down to Ian’s ass and ran his hands back and forth over the mounds of flesh.  Ian started to rock his thighs with the pace Mickey was setting with his hands and they were both getting breathless.  Ian broke the kiss to find their lube where he had dropped it in the sheets.  He thumbed it open and got some spread onto his fingers and then started working them into Mickey.  Mickey smiled at Ian and held onto his shoulders. 

 

“It’s good, Ian,” he said hoarsely, while Ian curled his fingers and found that spot inside Mickey.

 

“Just let me…” Ian began, pulling back from hovering over Mickey and scooting back down the bed a bit. With his fingers still inside Mickey, he leaned his head down and took the tip of Mickey’s hardening cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the head.  He felt Mickey’s hands dig into his hair and he smiled.  “Feels good?” Ian took his mouth off of Mickey long enough to ask, looking up the length of Mickey’s body to catch his eye.

 

“Feels great, I love you.” Mickey’s voice was soft and sincere.  Ian broke into one of his biggest smiles.  It took Mickey’s breath away. 

 

Ian repositioned himself again, lifting one of Mickey’s legs and wrapping it around his hip. Mickey tilted his hips up and Ian slathered his own cock with lube. Never breaking eye contact with Mickey, he slid in, slowly but surely, both of them panting as Ian filled Mickey up.  Ian held still once he was all the way in, and after a moment Mickey dug his heel into Ian’s backside and leaned up to kiss him.

 

“Move,” he whispered, his voice full of desire.

 

Ian complied, rocking into Mickey and working up a good rhythm, and soon he was pistoning in and almost all the way out of Mickey and diving deep into his warm core. They were breathing heavy and extolling each other on with murmured comments until all Mickey could say was Ian’s name over and over again.

 

“Say the whole thing, Mick,” Ian gasped out, looking down into Mickey’s blue eyes.

 

Mickey looked puzzled for a moment, he didn’t even know what he had been saying, all he knew was that what Ian was doing felt so good. He got his eyes to focus on his new husband’s face, inches above his own, and smiled.

“Ian Milkovich,” he breathed, and then again, louder and with more force, “Ian Milkovich!” 

 

Ian’s entire face was engulfed in one of his grins and suddenly he was coming-Mickey felt Ian’s ejaculation filling him, the liquid giving Ian’s dick new viscosity as he continued to thrust into Mickey, hitting his prostate as he rode out his orgasm. Mickey came a moment after without even being touched, what Ian was doing to him inside was enough. 

 

They were both chuckling softly as Ian pulled out and collapsed on the bed face down next to Mickey. They stared at each other, both too spent and blissed out to say anything quite yet.   After a moment Ian reached over and let his hand trail across Mickey’s chest, his thumb softly rubbing over Mickey’s still sensitive nipples.  Mickey closed his eyes and practically purred.  Ian ran his hand down Mickey’s side and pulled him closer.  Ian arched his back enough that his head was lifted, and leaned over and kissed Mickey.  Mickey grabbed the back of Ian’s neck to keep him in place and deepened the kiss.  They broke apart for air, and Ian brought his hand up and wrapped it around Mickey’s hand that was still on his neck, and brought Mickey’s hand around to his lips and kissed it, never taking his eyes off Mickey’s. 

 

Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian. “So, married sex?  Yeah or nah?” he asked, grinning like he already knew the answer.

 

“Oh yeah,” Ian breathed, leaning down to kiss Mickey again.

 

“Your new name really gets you off, huh?” Mickey asked when they broke apart again.

 

“You and me both,” Ian said, arching one eyebrow back at his spouse.

 

Ian kissed Mickey one more time on the lips and started to sit up.

 

“What are you doing?” Mickey asked.

 

“Figured I’d rinse off quick then start cooking while you shower,” Ian said.

 

“Naw, give it a minute-wanna nap,” Mickey said, pulling Ian back to him.

 

“You wanna cuddle?” Ian said, smiling.

 

“Got a problem with that?” Mickey asked sleepily.

 

“Definitely not,” Ian said, settling in close. They both drifted off for a bit, but soon Ian’s grumbling stomach was waking him up again. 

 

“Mick, I gotta eat, take my pills,” he whispered into Mickey’s ear, smoothing Mickey’s hair back with a gentle hand.

 

“Yeah, okay,” Mickey replied. “I’ll get up as soon as you’re done in the shower.”

 

Ian hauled himself out of bed and rinsed off quickly in the shower.

 

“See ya downstairs,” he told Mickey as he quickly pulled on some lightweight cotton flannel pajama pants and a clean undershirt.

 

Mickey joined Ian in under ten minutes, his hair still wet. He had put on boxers and a sleeveless shirt.  He got up on tiptoes behind Ian and planted a kiss on the back of his neck, snaking his arms around Ian’s waist. 

 

“What can I do to help?” Mickey asked.

 

“Everything’s pretty much ready,” Ian answered. “I just need to drain the green beans and the lobster’s just got a couple more minutes to bake…you could light the candles and put on some music, if you’d like.  Something for the background?”

“So, death metal then?” Mickey grinned, squeezing Ian before he let him go. 

 

He brought up one of Ian’s Spotify playlists, something Ian had named “Bedtime For Yev” so he figured it’d be mellow music, then lit the candles on the table. They sat down to the meal, both of them ravenous.  They made quick work of everything, and Mickey sat back with a moan.

 

“I usually hate fancy shit, but that was really good. The bacon and the cheese were so good,” Mickey said, rubbing his now very full stomach.

 

“Yeah, the bacon was a surprise. That was so good-we have to be sure to thank Svetlana and Nika.”  Mickey nodded and then Ian sighed heavily.

 

“Something wrong?” Mickey asked, wondering why Ian suddenly seemed a little down. He hoped the food wasn’t too rich to mix with the meds or something.

 

Ian smiled quickly. ‘Oh no, tonight’s perfect.  It’s just these songs-I’m missing Yev.  Wish we could tuck him in and tell him goodnight.” 

 

“Well, we can’t tuck him in, but we could tell him goodnight,” Mickey said. Ian brightened up even more. 

 

“Yeah?” Ian said. “Oh, but what if he’s already asleep?”

 

“I’ll text Svetlana, see if he’s still awake.” Mickey had to go searching for his phone, so Ian followed him to the bedroom.  Mickey fished his phone out of his pants pocket and texted Svetlana.  Within seconds it buzzed back at him.  Mickey’s eyes darted back and forth as he read the screen, and he muttered, “Oh, for Christ’s sake.”

“What?” Ian asked.

 

“All I asked her was: is the kid awake, and all she wrote back was why did I need to know…” Mickey jabbed at the screen and Ian just prayed whatever he was writing wasn’t too rude.

 

“Remember the bacon…,” Ian murmured softly. Mickey grunted and backspaced and wrote something else.  He held the phone up for Ian to read before hitting send.

 

“We’d just like to tell him goodnight,” was all that was there. Ian grinned and nodded.  They both sat on the edge of the bed to wait for a response.

 

The phone buzzed again-Svetlana telling Mickey Yev was still up and she’d give him her phone to answer when they called.

 

Mickey hit the button to call Svetlana’s phone and put the call on speaker.

 

“Hi, Dad!” Yev’s voice chirped.

 

“Hey, Tough Guy, you’re on speaker with me and Ian,” Mickey said back, smiling.

 

“Hi, Een!”

 

“Hi, Yev, you having fun?” Ian replied.

 

“I sure am! Wait till you see this place!  My room is huge, and it’s part of, like an apartment of huge rooms!  And the pool is huge!  I could swim it up and back three whole times before I had to grab the wall and rest!  Dad, we should totally get an in-ground pool, it’s so much funner than swimming in circles!”  Yev’s enthusiasm for his vacation spot came through loud and clear. 

 

“I’ve been thinking an in-ground pool with steps would be a good thing to have when the baby’s getting big enough to go in the pool,” Ian said, catching Mickey’s eye. “Like, next summer?”  Mickey rolled his eyes, but smiled. 

 

“We’ll talk about it,” Mickey promised. “Hey, buddy, it’s past your bedtime, but we wanted to call and tell you goodnight.”

 

“Yeah, Mom’s letting me stay up late because I’m all keyed up.” Ian and Mickey laughed. 

 

“Us too,” Ian told him. “But we’ll be tired soon.” 

 

“Yeah, it was a big day,” Yevgeny agreed with a yawn.

 

“Goodnight, Yev, love you,” Ian said.

 

“Goodnight, Een, goodnight, Dad.”

 

“Goodnight, Little Man,” Mickey smiled. “We’ll see you soon-and probably call you tomorrow night too.”  Ian nodded, even though Yevgeny couldn’t see him. 

 

They disconnected the call, and Ian leaned over and kissed Mickey on the cheek.

 

“Is that cuz Yev’s not here?” Mickey laughed.

 

“No, that’s for you cuz you’re sweet.”

 

Mickey scoffed, but looked pleased.

 

“Wanna go swimming?” Ian asked eagerly.

 

“Where do you get your energy?” Mickey moaned, lying back on the bed as Ian was bounding up off it. “Ain’t it too cold still?”  Mickey was much more tempted to get his new husband back into their warm bed.

 

“Naw, it’s been nice and hot the past few days, and the pool is insulated-the water’s warmer than the night air. Come on, didn’t Yev make it sound fun?” Ian was peeling off his clothes and wandered into the bathroom to put on his bathrobe that was hanging on one of the hooks on the back of the door.  “I’ll grab the towels and see you out there.”

 

“I have no idea where my bathing suit is, I haven’t used it yet this year,” Mickey said.

 

Ian stopped in his tracks and stared at Mickey in disbelief, then he whipped his robe open and wiggled his dick at Mickey. “Honeymoon, remember?  Skinny dipping?”  

 

“Ian, I’m not walking outside naked…”

 

“Throw your robe on too, genius,” Ian sassed. “See ya out there!” he called over his shoulder as he walked out of the bedroom.

 

“Ay! Where’s my robe?” Mickey called after him. 

 

Ian turned around and grinned at Mickey from halfway down the hall. “You’d really be lost without me, huh?  It’s up in the closet where it’s always been since you got it.”

 

Ian spun around and kept walking, Mickey watched the way the blue cotton material clung to his ass while he walked. Once Ian was out of sight, Mickey walked over to the closet and pulled open the louvered doors.

 

Mickey reached up to the high shelf in their closet. Yevgeny had given Ian and Mickey robes last Father’s Day-Mickey was sure it was Svetlana’s idea and he knew it was her money.  Yev got an allowance, but it wasn’t enough to buy two robes even if he had saved up all year.  It was definitely just pocket money to start teaching the kid the value of a buck when he wanted video games or Legos or comic books.  Mickey didn’t really see the point, he and Ian had never had that, but Ian read it somewhere and Svetlana was on board with it, so, whatever. 

 

Ian loved his big terrycloth robe and wore it all the time since last June, but Mickey’s had remained in the box. He was always interested in less layers, not more, and the one time before that Ian had pressed him to wear it, Mickey had threatened to cut the sleeves off.  Yev never asked why Mickey didn’t wear it-a further clue that it wasn’t his idea to begin with. 

 

Mickey was on his tiptoes trying to reach the box it had come in, and when he finally got enough of one corner in his hand to pull it towards him, a shoebox that was next to it went flying off the shelf and hit the ground. Mickey grunted and got the robe box down and tossed it behind him onto the bed, and then crouched down to pick up the shoebox.  The lid had come askew, but hadn’t opened.  Mickey lifted it, the box felt empty-or at least too light to have a pair of Ian’s huge shoes in it. 

 

Mickey opened the lid. The box was full of pieces of paper, and on the top one he recognized his own handwriting, or chicken scratch printing, to be more exact. 

 

_Firecrotch meet me under the bleachers._

Mickey paused, and then remembered. That was a note he had Mandy pass to Ian in their English class the summer Mickey got out of juvie for the second time and Ian still had a few weeks left at school.  Mickey had found Ian under there his first day out, but then didn’t have the patience to wait around on the off chance he’d be back the next day, and he got Mandy to deliver that note.  He thought Ian would wait till after school, or at least his lunch period, but Ian had ditched class and found Mickey right away.  Mickey smiled at the memory.  He was so delighted to see Ian sooner than he had thought he would, but quickly covered up his smile that day so Ian wouldn’t catch it.  That was before they had even kissed, before Svetlana, before so much…

 

Mickey lifted that note and underneath it he saw a scrap of jagged paper, again his own handwriting, this time it was just days and times.

 

_Mon 2:30-8_

_Tues 2:30-11_

_Thurs 2:30-6_

_Fri 2:30-11_

_Sat 9-3_

He realized that was a week of shifts at the Kash and Grab. He kept digging through the box.  There were a few more schedules, and then lots of notes he’d left for Ian since they had been living together-notes saying they needed milk or bread, even more saying they needed lube, short notes Mickey would write letting Ian know where Mickey and Yev were when they did stuff out of the house when Ian would be sleeping after shifts at the restaurant, a couple of short grocery lists, a reminder to get the oil changed in their car, a couple asking if Ian could snag some dessert at the restaurant and bring it home…Most of the notes were written on paper from a pad that hung by a magnet on their refrigerator door, some were on paper torn out of one of Yevgeny’s school notebooks.  Ian had continued the Gallagher tradition of using the fridge as the family center of communications-there was a calendar where he kept track of Yev’s school stuff and dentist appointments, and Ian’s own doctor visits, plus lots of magnets for hanging up Yev’s artwork and outstanding test scores.  Mickey would just dash off a note and stick it up in the middle of the refrigerator with whatever magnet was handy.

 

“Christ, Ian,” Mickey muttered to himself as he began to realize every single thing Mickey had ever written to Ian-or even when he was around Ian, had been preserved and put away into this box. He knew Ian had a sentimental streak, he just wasn’t aware how deep it was when it came to these scraps. 

 

Mickey sat back on his heels and thought for a minute. He and Ian had never been the type to exchange cards at their birthdays or on Valentine’s Day, but now Mickey was thinking Ian probably would’ve liked that.  Ian always signed the notes he left for Mickey with Xs and Os and Love-I.  Mickey never thought about that before either, but it hit him now how that always did make him feel a little warm inside, even though he knew Ian’s handwriting from Yev’s. 

 

Mickey got up and walked over to his desk. He didn’t have anything like stationery, but he took a piece of plain paper out of the copier and picked up a pen.  He thought for a moment and wrote down the date, and then he thought some more for a moment and started writing. 

 

_June 2, 2021_

_Hey Ian-It’s our wedding day and I just wanted to say I’m glad we got married and I’m real happy. I love you and Yev and our baby girl more than anything._

 

He stopped again, chewing on the end of the pen. He wanted to do this for Ian, he wanted it to be special.  It felt dumb as hell to him to be doing this, but for Ian, he’d try.  He put the pen to the paper again and wrote:

 

_My heart’s on fire for you. Mickey_

He almost crumpled it up and threw it in the trash, but he stopped himself. Yeah it was sappy and pretty dopey to quote the song they danced to for their wedding, but he knew Ian wouldn’t think so.  Or Ian would love how sappy and dopey it was, whatever. 

 

Mickey went back to the shoebox and put the note on top of the pile, folded so the words were facing up and Ian would see it the next time he went to stick a note in there. Mickey knew that with the two of them staying home together over the next week Ian wouldn’t find it any time soon, but he figured when he did find it, it’d be a nice surprise for him. 

 

After he put the box up on the shelf, he quickly got out of his clothes and put the robe on. It actually felt pretty nice.

 

He got to the backdoor and went out into the yard. Ian was already in the pool, and all around the edge he had set up what must have been every jar and votive candle they owned.  They had a big spotlight for the pool, but Ian had left it off.  Mickey had to admit to himself there was something very romantic about the softer candlelight reflecting off the dark surface of the water. 

 

When Mickey’s bare feet hit the dew wet grass he hissed. The grass was cold and he swore he felt every blade lashing against his skin.  He got to the edge of the pool and looked in, Ian was paddling around happily, his hair soaking wet and his eyes reflecting the flickering candles.

 

“Get in here, Mick,” he said with a smile.

 

Mickey slid his robe off and laid it on the chair Ian had left his on. His teeth started chattering.

 

“Fuck, Ian, it’s freezing out here.”

 

“It’s sixty-five degrees out, Mickey, but the water’s seventy-eight. It feels like bathwater, I promise.  Get on in here.”

 

Mickey climbed up the pool ladder, still shivering. He stuck his foot on the first rung on the side of the ladder in the pool and brought his foot up quickly. 

 

“That does not feel like bathwater,” he said accusingly.

 

“That’s just because your body temperature is about twenty degrees warmer, but trust me, it feels good once you’re all the way in. Just jump in!”

 

“My balls have shrunk into my body,” Mickey grumbled, mostly to himself, but loud enough for Ian to hear.

 

“I’ll take care of your balls if you’d just get in,” Ian promised.

 

Mickey decided he was fucked anyway, so he jumped off the ladder in a sort of mini-cannonball and let himself go under. He came up and pushed his hair off his face. 

 

“Well?” his husband said knowingly-maddeningly.

 

“That was…strangely pleasant,” Mickey had to admit, feeling the warm water all around him from the neck down. He stood up and got blasted by the cool night air hitting his chest and shoulders.  “Christ,” he yelped, ducking back down so only his head was above water.

 

Ian paddled over to him. “Yeah, gotta keep where it’s warm,” he said lowly.  “But that did make your nipples hard.”  Ian ran his hands down Mickey’s chest, tweaking his nipples under the water. 

 

“You got some sort of mermaid fantasy you always wanted to play out?” Mickey teased, arching his back into Ian’s touch.

 

“Come to think of it, you do have the black hair and blue eyes, just like Prince Eric,” Ian murmured, closing in to kiss Mickey.

 

“And holy shit, you have the Little Mermaid’s red hair!” Mickey exclaimed.  “How did I never put that together before?”  Mickey started laughing, hard.

 

“Way to kill the moment, shithead,” Ian mumbled darkly.

 

“Aw, come on, don’t be like that,” Mickey cajoled. “Didn’t you say something about my balls?”

 

Ian ignored him, which wasn’t all that easy to do in a twenty-four foot round swimming pool.

 

“Can I check your balls?” Mickey tried a different tack. “See if they shrunk as much as mine?”

 

“I’m not the Little Mermaid,” Ian said, still not looking at Mickey.

 

“Well, no, you’re the six foot mermaid…”  


Ian slammed his hand onto the water’s surface, splashing Mickey.

 

“Okay, okay, you’re not any size mermaid,” Mickey said. Ian finally relented and looked at Mickey again. 

 

“Besides, her eyes are blue,” Ian said, finally leaning in again to kiss Mickey.

 

“Yours have blue in them,” Mickey said, and Ian pulled his head away. “But they’re green!  Mostly green!  Nothing like hers!  Nothing at all-except the size-but, no, your eyes aren’t mermaidy at all!” 

 

Ian flung himself sideways and swum away from Mickey. Mickey just walked after him, but Ian was swimming around the circle like a dolphin, staying ahead of him.  Mickey finally gave up when Ian went underwater and just stood in the center of the pool with his arms crossed over his chest.  Sure enough, once he stopped chasing Ian, Ian swam up behind him and slid his hands up Mickey’s thighs and then grabbed his ass.  When Ian’s head popped up out of the water, Mickey was laughing.  Ian got his feet planted under him and pulled Mickey roughly back against his body.  He hugged him tight around his waist and stole a whole bunch of chlorine-flavored kisses down the side of his neck.

 

“You ain’t really mad at me, are you?” Mickey said, resting his arms on top of Ian’s and tilting his neck so Ian could get to more of it.

 

Ian grinned against Mickey’s neck. “Of course not-you’ve called me everything from Little Orphan Annie to Opie-it was just a matter of time before you got to The Little Mermaid.  However…”  Ian moved suddenly, scooping Mickey up into his arms and threw him into the water.  Mickey came up sputtering and laughing. 

 

“Do that again!” Mickey insisted.

 

They manhandled each other for a while, swimming, splashing, dunking, tossing. Half the candles got doused during their roughhousing.  They finally quieted down a bit and were floating on their backs, looking up at the night sky.  It was a dark night, the moon was just a sliver of a crescent, and there were as many stars as you were ever going to be able to see with the ambient light from the city shining down on them. 

 

“Hey, Mickey?”

 

“Yeah, Ian?”

 

“How’s your balls?”

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?  Why don’t you bring me back inside and check them out for yourself?”

 

And thus passed their first night of wedded bliss.

 

In the morning they found that Svetlana had emailed them both the picture of them smiling on either side of Yev that the photographer had taken after the ceremony.

 

“I can’t believe how happy I look,” Mickey said, more to himself than anything.

 

Ian tilted his head and smiled at him. “Actually, I get to see you look like that a lot, Mick.  Yev does too.”

 

Mickey blushed, but kept his eyes locked on Ian. “Okay, that I can believe.” 

 

A couple of days later, they picked Yevgeny up at the hotel and brought him to the Field Museum. The day before had been his last day of school, and they pretty much had the place almost to themselves-most of Chicago’s schoolchildren hardly wanted to do something so educational on their first full day of freedom.  There were some tourists milling around, but the guys had been to the museum so often, they knew just where they wanted to go and what they wanted to see.  Usually they had to hustle to keep up with Yevgeny, even Ian with his long legs-Yev would be so excited to see everything he’d dash from spot to spot-but today he kept lagging behind, letting his grownups get yards ahead of him.

 

“You feeling all right, Yev” Ian asked with concern. “It’s not like you to dawdle.  Do you have a stomach ache or something?”

 

“Nah, I’m just trying to watch Dad.”

 

“Watch me? Why?” Mickey asked, puzzled.   


“I heard Mom telling Nika you’d be walking funny for sure by today…”

 

Ian snorted out a laugh, and quickly tried to stifle it when Mickey threw a murderous look his way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To quote a great man, "Sorry I'm late". I won't offer up excuses, but I will say I had the worst case of writer's block for a while there. I meant for this story to swerve around Season 6 and here we are already into Season 7, plus the story's still not done! But when I got to 13K and still had a major life event yet to go, I decided I'd post this even though my original plan wasn't a two part epilogue, let alone three parts. I don't THINK the final piece will be all that long, but what do I know? 
> 
> Anyway, I just want to thank any and all of you who have stuck with this story if you've made it this far. And I want to send an apology of sorts to maryellen590 about not being able to fulfill your wish for twins-I already had their baby (and her name) planned, and what I think will be the last line of the story is about her, and twins just didn't work for me. But your comment did get me thinking about how interesting a story of the two of them taking care of babies together would be-always having their hands full, working in tandem to get two babies fed, dressed, cleaned...maybe one day I'll write something along those lines. 
> 
> Another note I'd like to tack on here is that in my original draft, Mickey was going to say "Ian Clayton Milkovich" when Ian told him to say the whole thing, but then Sheila went and ruined that for me by asking for suggestions for Mickey's middle name on Twitter. I didn't want to think about that whenever I read the story again in the future. I can be petty, what can I say?
> 
> I hope you all don't have to wait too long for the final installment. But I feel it would be foolish for me to try to promise anything beyond that at this point. The last time I posted a chapter I had 7000 words of the next one written and this time...I don't. But this part's done now and hopefully the block has cleared.


	13. The Big Finish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally coming to a close!

One afternoon about a week after the honeymoon, Mickey came home from a long day at work and was locking the front door when a strong pair of arms wrapped around his chest from behind.

 

“I got your note,” Ian’s warm voice said right into his ear. Mickey dropped his portfolio case at his feet and brought both his hands up to rest on Ian’s arms, leaning back into Ian’s body and smiling.  That morning he had left Ian a note on the fridge asking him to pick up freezer pops for Yevgeny.

 

“Oh yeah?” Mickey asked innocently. “Did you get the pops?” 

 

“Not that note, well, yeah, that note too, and yes, I got the freezer pops, but the other note…” Ian squeezed Mickey gently and kissed his cheek.  He loosened his arms enough so Mickey could turn around and face him. 

 

“You liked it, huh?” Mickey said, taking in Ian’s shining eyes and beaming smile.  Ian nodded.

 

“I loved it. I love you.  That’s going in the wedding album…”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, that was for your eyes only,” Mickey said.  “Keep it in your shoebox with every single other thing I’ve written to you.”

 

“You know about that-that I kept it all?” Ian said.  “I wondered.” 

 

“Just found it by accident, on our wedding night,” Mickey explained. “I, uh, I hope you’re not mad I looked inside without telling you.”

 

Ian made a cute little move with his head, almost like he was stifling a sneeze, pulling his head back a little and wrinkling his brow at Mickey. “Of course I don’t mind you looked-we don’t have any secrets.  I would’ve shown you the box myself years ago…but…”

“You thought I’d make fun of it,” Mickey finished, smiling at his husband.  “And you’re right, I would have, back then.  Marriage has matured me.” 

 

Ian and Mickey both laughed out loud at that. They were looking into each other’s eyes, and suddenly the mood shifted.  Mickey leaned forward and kissed Ian, softly and deeply. 

 

“I’m still gonna stick it in the wedding album,” Ian said, his forehead pressed against Mickey’s after the kiss. “I’ll tuck it behind a picture so it’s kept safe and flat.  Only you and I will know it’s in there.  Okay?”

 

“Of course that’s okay-as long as you don’t go showing it to anybody, promise?” Mickey said, his eyebrows raised.

 

“Promise.”

 

“Where’s Yev?”

 

“Out back swimming with Nika. Svetlana’s making baked ziti, I’m gonna put steaks on the grill in about an hour and everything should be ready at the same time.”

Mickey picked up his portfolio and headed towards the kitchen. 

 

“Where are you going?” Ian asked. “Don’t you want to put your bathing suit on?”

 

“Gonna grab one of those pops first,” Mickey called back over his shoulder.

 

“I just put them in the freezer a little while ago, they won’t be frozen yet,” Ian told him.

 

“Well now what am I gonna suck on?” Mickey said, stopping in his tracks and turning around to look at Ian.

 

Ian broke into a grin.

 

That weekend Mickey and Ian hosted an after the fact wedding reception for their family and friends and coworkers. No one had been too upset about the elopement, even the people that hadn’t known Mickey in his thuggiest days couldn’t really picture him doing the whole elaborate wedding ceremony thing.  They had a lovely sit-down dinner at Ian’s restaurant that devolved into a wild after-party at The Alibi. 

 

Mickey and Ian’s coworkers had a blast letting their hair down at the dive bar and learned they all had a lot in common once the cheap drinks started flowing. The locals mixed right in with them, regaling them with (mostly made up) stories about the grooms from their youth.  When Ian went to work at the restaurant, he hired Miguel as a bartender and a lot of the old crowd from The Fairy Tail came to the reception and now had things jumping on the makeshift dance floor they created at The Alibi by pushing all the chairs and tables to the sides of the room. 

 

The guests of honor watched it all from the sidelines. They had kept Yev with them to use as an excuse to leave early, but knew they should make an appearance.  Ian’s hard drinking days were long behind him, as were Mickey’s out of solidarity to Ian’s meds regimen.  They were watching Yev join in with a conga line made up of mostly dancers and bouncers from The Fairy Tail with members from Mickey’s engineering and accounting departments mixed in. 

 

Frank staggered over to the newlyweds and threw an arm around Mickey. He hadn’t been invited to the reception, he was just at The Alibi when everyone got there. 

“Ya know, Mick, I always thought of you as a son…You too, Ian,” Frank slurred, his breath strong enough to burn the eyebrows off a lesser man than Mickey. 

 

“That’s great, Frank. I always held you in the same esteem as my own father,” Mickey snarked, patting him on the hand and then removing Frank’s arm from around his neck.

 

“And, I want you fellas to know, you ever need any fatherly advice, or favors, from your old man, I’m always here for you,” Frank continued, swaying alarmingly once he wasn’t anchored to Mickey’s shoulders anymore.

 

“Sure, Frank, we’ll keep that in mind,” Ian said, knowing sometimes the best way to deal with Frank was to just let him ramble.

 

“And now you’re giving me my first grandchild,” Frank went on, eyes filling up with tears. “Well, first that I know of…”

 

“What about Chuckie?” Ian asked.

“Who?”  Frank was at a complete loss.  Maybe if he had another drink to focus his thinking…

 

“Sammi’s son?” Ian continued.

 

“Oh, he doesn’t count. Sammi’s not really my daughter, I don’t think…”

 

“Well, I’m not really your son too, so how about you don’t think of my baby as your grandchild, all right?” Ian said. Mickey looked at Ian in surprise.  They had had very little to do with Frank over the years they had been back together, but Mickey didn’t realize Ian was so adamant about keeping Frank away from their baby.  Not that Mickey had any thoughts of Frank being in the picture as a grandfather, but he was surprised at Ian flat out telling Frank to stay away. 

 

In any event, Frank seemed too drunk to process what Ian was saying, and staggered off towards the bar. Mickey raised his eyebrows at Ian.

 

“You alright?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, I don’t know why I bothered; Frank won’t remember the conversation by the time his hangover kicks in, hell, he’s probably already forgotten it now.” Ian’s eyes watched Frank warily as Kev gave him a beer.  “He doesn’t know where we live and I know none of my family will tell him.  But the thought of an innocent little baby-or Yev-having to put up with him even in small doses pisses me off.” 

 

“I hear you, tiger. Don’t worry, we won’t let him near our kids,” Mickey said, rubbing a soothing circle into the small of Ian’s back. 

 

Ian leaned his head against Mickey’s, enjoying the backrub and letting his gaze find Yevgeny again, who was enjoying himself tremendously out on the dance floor. After a couple more songs Mickey stood up and put his hand out to pull Ian up.

“Come on, let’s collect our kid and get on home,” he said, blue eyes twinkling. 

 

Ian smiled back and took his hand. They made the rounds, thanking everyone for coming and getting lots of hugs and kisses.  Mickey just gave everyone standing at the bar a general farewell and hustled Ian and Yev out before Frank could have a chance to try to say anything, but since he was in a fog, he didn’t even try. 

 

The summer flew by. Between work and swimming and baseball games and a couple of trips to Lake Michigan and getting the baby’s room ready, the guys were almost always busy with something. 

 

They painted the baby’s bedroom a soft, pearly, pale pink. The color was very subtle but Mandy still thought it was “too girly”.

 

“What if the kid takes after me and wants her room to be all dark?” Mandy said the first time she saw the room after they had painted it.

 

“When she’s old enough to voice a preference, she can have whatever she wants,” Ian said.

 

“Are you sure? I think my brother here is gonna force traditional feminine stereotypes on her...” Mandy muttered darkly.

 

“Jesus, who shit in your cereal?” Mickey asked. “What we do with our kid is our business.”

 

“I just never thought you’d sell out to pink,” Mandy said.

 

“I’ve always happened to like pink-I just had to pretend I didn’t because that shit didn’t fly in South Side,” Mickey informed her.   “Besides, this is barely pink, we had to use four coats just to get to this shade.” 

 

For a border, Mickey and Ian had been thinking of something with bunnies, maybe, but looking through the wallpaper samples book Yev had found a border with cartoon monkeys with pink dots on their cheeks cavorting in various poses with cute, bright colorful flowers in their hair and sprinkled all around and it made him laugh so delightedly they picked that for the border. They hung it a little over halfway up the wall, so when the baby was on her changing table or in her crib she’d be able to look at it. 

 

The crib took a whole afternoon to build, but only because Ian and Mickey got so bored in the middle of working on it that they decided to go put their own bed to use for a while instead. The crib and the changing table, which was also a dresser, were white, and they got white gauzy curtains for the room but also bought heavier white drapes for the winter months.  They put in wall to wall carpet after they had painted, and it was a neutral gray color called “silver”, but there was nothing metallic about it.  It was thick and soft and would be a good play surface as Piper grew and started crawling. 

 

One Sunday in September right after Yev had started back to school, they took him to an early matinee movie. It was based on one of Yevgeny’s favorite books, and he had claimed to be excited to see it, but as they sat in the theater watching the show, he kept checking his watch by its light-up dial every few minutes.  Mickey and Ian had given him his very first watch on his last birthday-a water proof Timex he could wear in the pool, and now every eight to ten minutes there was a flash of the blue light illuminating the watch face on Yev’s wrist.  His distraction was driving Mickey to distraction, Ian could just tell, since he was sitting on one side of Mickey and Yev was on Mickey’s other side.

 

If Yev hadn’t been right there, Ian would’ve known just how to distract Mickey and redirect his energy from getting him all hot and bothered about Yevgeny’s restlessness, but since Yev was right there, Ian felt this was hardly the time to try to stick his hand down Mickey’s pants. So, he did a more G rated move and placed his hand gently on Mickey’s knee and then leaned over to blow in his ear and give his neck a few clandestine kisses and a soft lick. 

 

Mickey slouched down even more in his seat, although they were the high backed recliner kind and no one behind them would be able to see what Ian was up to.

 

“The fuck you doing?” Mickey hissed.

 

“Taking your mind off Yev,” Ian whispered into his ear. “How am I doing?”

 

“What’s with the kid, he’s got ants in his pants-he insisted on seeing this movie and now he won’t even watch,” Mickey hissed, turning to Ian to whisper into his ear, but Ian interrupted him by turning his own face and kissing Mickey. Mickey pulled back, shock reflected in his eyes from the light on the big screen.  Ian just smiled. 

 

“Mick, we’re in a dark theater, no one’s looking at us.”

 

Mickey leaned forward and looked past Ian down the row they were sitting in. The nearest people were at least half a dozen seats away, and it was a high school couple heavily making out.  Mickey looked to his left, where Yev was sitting in the aisle seat, and he was looking at his damn watch again.  Mickey shrugged and put his hand on top of Ian’s, which was still on Mickey’s knee.  Mickey looked back at Ian again, and Ian smiled and moved in for another soft kiss.  He managed to keep Mickey sufficiently distracted for the last twenty minutes or so of the movie. 

 

As soon as the final credits began to roll, Yev jumped out of his seat and grabbed Mickey’s hand to get him up as well. “Come on, let’s go,” Yevgeny urged.

 

“What’s the rush?” Mickey said, getting up and looking around to be sure they had all their stuff.   Ian already had his and Mickey’s jackets in his hand, and Mickey picked up Yevgeny’s and held it out to him, eyebrows raised.  Yevgeny would’ve taken off without it if Mickey hadn’t been there. 

 

Mickey and Ian wanted to use the bathroom, and it turned out Yev needed to as well, although he hadn’t wanted to take the time when they first said they were going. Once they were all buckled into the car, Ian suggested they should stop somewhere for lunch.

 

“No!” Yev shouted from the backseat.

 

“Why not? We gotta eat,” Ian said, turning in the passenger seat to twist around and look at Yevgeny.

 

“We gotta get home,” Yev insisted.

 

“We also gotta eat,” Mickey pointed out.

 

“But…I need to get home now,” Yev tried again.

 

“Why-we’ll just have to make something to eat when we get there, we might as well eat first,” Ian said.

 

“I, uh, I have a project due for school tomorrow,” Yevgeny said, his voice held bit of a desperate tone.

 

“Oh, you do, do you?” Mickey said, using the rearview mirror to pin his son with a look. “And yet you failed to mention that before you got us to take you to the movie?”

 

“Yeah,” Yev mumbled, looking down at his hands.

 

Mickey sighed. “We’ll talk about this later-after we’re home and after that project is done.”  Yevgeny didn’t say another word the whole ride home. 

 

When they got to the house, the first thing they saw were cars parked out front and in their driveway and in Svetlana and Nika’s driveway as well. There was room left in their own driveway to pull in, so Mickey did so.  

 

There was a big sign with pink umbrellas strewn across the front of their small porch that said “Baby Shower” spelled out on pink and white baby bottles. Ian laughed and Mickey muttered a drawn out “What the fuck,” and they both turned around to look at Yev in the back seat.

 

“You knew about this?” Mickey said.

 

Yev nodded eagerly. “Are you surprised?”

 

“Very,” Ian said, smiling, before Mickey could reply.

 

“It was my job to keep you out of the house till one o’clock,” Yevgeny said, his eyebrows raised in a perfect miniature copy of his one of his father’s looks. “And then it was my job to get you here.”

 

“You did good, buddy. We didn’t suspect a thing,” Ian said.

 

“Yeah,” Mickey nodded, but then he remembered something. “But, hey, what about your  project?”  he asked, because he was having a minor panic attack as he realized he didn’t sense Yev was lying at all, and since when was Yevgeny able to hide anything from his father, especially an out and out lie?

 

“Oh, I do have a project due tomorrow, but it’s all done,” Yev said. “Mom and Nika checked it over last night, it’s all ready to pass in.” 

 

“Okay, then,” Mickey said, relieved that Yev hadn’t lied. They all got out of the car, and Mickey pulled Yev into a sideways hug as they looked up at the sign.  “I hope we get lots of cute stuff for the baby,” he said, grinning down at his son.  “Come on.”  And then he walked into the house with his boys. 

 

A big shout of welcome went up from all the guests. As was typical with their crowd of friends and family, the party was already well started by the time the guests of honor got there. 

 

The afternoon was a lot of fun, the food was good, the company was even better, and Mickey and Ian got a big kick out of opening all the tiny little pink and pastel and soft baby clothes, blankets, and bibs. Mickey secretly loved looking at how Ian’s big hands made the outfits look even tinier, and made sure to make him hold those up for everyone to see when that’s what an unwrapped box revealed.  Ian and Mickey agreed their favorite outfit was a onesie from Yevgeny that had the words “Baby Sister” across the chest. 

 

There was a big gift from all of Mickey and Ian’s siblings and Svetlana and Nika and Yev, and Yevgeny told the guys and everyone there that it was already up in the baby’s room, so everyone trudged upstairs (they wanted to see how the room looked anyway) and Yevgeny got to open the door for his dads revealing a rocking chair in the middle of the room.

 

“Oh, you guys are really going to appreciate having that,” Vee said, craning her neck over some of the people in front of her to see what the present was. Fiona and Debbie had kept it a secret, not because they thought she’d spill the beans, but because they knew Kevin would if he saw Ian or Mickey before the shower.  Vee understood their logic and supported it, and besides, it was more fun wondering what it might be until she saw it for herself the day of the shower.  “Babies love to be in constant motion, you’ll see,” she smiled.

 

Mickey and Ian were trying to get the other one to sit in it first. It was really lovely, made from a light wood that complimented the other furniture in the room and it had a soft cushion set for the seat and back made from what appeared to be pink velvet.

 

“Cushions are scotch-guarded so when baby pukes it’ll clean up nice,” Svetlana called from where she was standing.

 

Mickey finally persuaded Ian to sit down in the chair. He gave it a couple of rocks and pronounced it very comfortable.  Then he had Mickey try it, and then Yev.  Ian went to thank everyone who had given it to them and bumped into Mandy first. 

“The color of the cushions matches the paint on the walls exactly,” he said after thanking her and kissing her cheek.  “You guys must’ve snuck in here…”  


“Guilty as charged-the upholsterer had a sample book and Svetlana let us all in with her keys and we found the perfect shade,” Mandy said, looking sly.

 

“Still hate pink?” Ian asked, bumping her hip with his own.

 

“Naw, I never did-I just said that to bust Mickey’s balls. It’s so easy to get a rise out of him,” she said, bumping back.  “Haven’t you ever noticed I look awesome in pastels?” she grinned. 

 

After everyone left, Mickey and Ian went back to the baby’s room. Mickey sat in the rocker again and they discussed the day’s events.

 

“That was so incredibly sweet of everyone,” Ian said. “I really wasn’t expecting it.”  Ian and Mickey had bought everything they could think of for the baby themselves-the stroller, car seat, bath basin, pack and play, bottles, Pampers, a diaper genie-whenever anyone asked them if they were registered anywhere they assured them they were all set.  Ian had even bought a baby book that Mickey looked at askance.  No one in his family ever had one of those.

“Well, Monica didn’t exactly do a great job of keeping any of ours updated,” Ian admitted. “But I will.  Won’t you want to remember the day she gets her first tooth, or takes her first step?” 

 

Mickey was pretty sure he’d remember those things happening regardless, and that knowing the exact date wouldn’t matter, but he wouldn’t discourage Ian. He knew Ian liked having little keepsakes.  There was a board up in Yevgeny’s room where the two of them always tacked up their ticket stubs from movies and ballgames and weird little mementos that only meant something to the two of them-although if Mickey was with them for whatever event they were commemorating they stuck his ticket stub or napkin or whatever up too.  

 

“It was really something, them coming up with this chair,” Mickey agreed. He sighed. 

 

“Tired, Mick?” Ian asked.

 

“Well, yeah,” he laughed softly, thinking about how having to be nice all day to anyone but Ian or Yev really took it out of him, “but I was just thinking about Yev. I really screwed him, not being there for this stuff with him.”

 

Ian cocked his head and looked at his husband. He could hear the sadness in his voice.  Mickey hadn’t brought up Yevgeny’s babyhood the entire time since they started planning on having Piper. 

 

“You’re here for him now, Mick, that’s what’s important. He doesn’t remember being a baby, it’s okay,” Ian said gently.

 

“It’s not okay, but it’s nothing I can change now,” Mickey said. “I just don’t want him to be hurt by how much I love the new baby.”

 

Ian crouched down next to the chair and put his hand over Mickey’s. “He’s as excited about her as you are, and he gets that from you-he won’t be hurt or jealous.  You Milkoviches have big hearts.”

 

“You’re a Milkovich too,” Mickey said, leaning forward and kissing Ian softly.

 

The next day Mickey was working from home and Ian didn’t have to go in to the restaurant till the afternoon and Yevgeny was with Svetlana, so Mickey let Ian sleep in and went downstairs to make them some breakfast when he woke up without the alarm going off. Mickey snuck off wearing just his boxers, not wanting to disturb Ian digging for a shirt.

 

He started the coffee and scrambled some eggs, and he figured if the smell of bacon frying didn’t bring Ian to the kitchen in the next few minutes, he’d call him downstairs. He was pretty sure the bacon would do the trick though.

 

And sure enough, he heard Ian’s bare feet slapping on the linoleum behind him, and then Ian’s long arms wrapped all around him from behind. Ian nuzzled his nose and mouth into Mickey’s hair.  “You’re cold,” he murmured.  “Come back to bed.  I’ll warm you up.”  He rubbed his hips side to side against Mickey’s ass, letting him feel how he was already getting hard. 

 

“Ee…an,” Mickey said with a smile. “You gotta eat, food’s almost ready.”

 

“I’d rather fuck than eat,” Ian said, not letting go and not stopping his rutting movements, and now gently swaying Mickey from side to side and kissing down the side of his neck as well. “I think it’s baby hormones.”

 

Mickey snorted. “I think the mother gets those, not you.”

 

Ian stepped back and turned Mickey around to face him. “No, Mickey, I’m serious.  I think my body is telling me we’re going to spend a lot of sleepless nights soon, getting up every few hours to feed the baby, and change the baby.  My hormones are telling my brain I need to get all the sex I can get-now.” 

 

Mickey raised an eyebrow at him. “You serious?  You’re not just saying this to get me on my back?”

 

“Well, I AM saying it to get you on your back, that’s the whole point, but, swear to god, Mickey, every time I see you, especially half dressed like this, all I want to do is screw.”

 

“So much for romance,” Mickey chuckled, turning around to take the pan off the burner and shut off the stove top. “Take five minutes to eat.”

 

“I don’t want to feel all full and bloated,” Ian insisted, his eyes burning into Mickey’s. “I want you, now.”

Mickey grinned, and gave in.  “Okay, just let me stick everything in the fridge…”

 

“Mick, let’s live dangerously. You were the one letting bacon splatter while topless.  If the eggs smell off when we come back for them, we’ll throw them out and start over.  Come on.”  He was tugging Mickey’s boxers by the waistband, gently guiding Mickey towards him and away from the stove.  Mickey glanced back over his shoulder at the food and then shrugged.  It was his own damn fault for being sexy, he supposed.  

 

Back in the bedroom the fathers to be didn’t waste any time getting physical. Ian grabbed Mickey by the waist and pushed down his boxers with the heels of his hands as he kissed his lips, his shoulders, his neck, and anywhere else he could reach.  Mickey didn’t just stand there and take it, he was pulling Ian in even closer and kissing and nipping back. 

 

“Get on the bed,” Ian moaned into Mickey’s ear. Mickey turned to do as Ian commanded, Ian pulling his boxers the rest of the way down his legs as he did so.  He crawled onto the bed and stayed on all fours, looking over his shoulder at Ian while he tugged Mickey’s shorts all the way off and tossed them aside.  Then Ian quickly got his own underwear off and crawled up on the bed behind him.

 

Ian fit himself over Mickey’s back and kissed him on the lips, then started working his way down Mickey’s back, his lips leaving a trail of kisses and licks that were raising goosebumps on Mickey’s soft white flesh. Ian put his warm hands on Mickey’s ass and nuzzled his nose into the small of Mickey’s back. 

 

“Ian, I haven’t showered since before we banged last night…” Mickey warned.

 

“So?” Ian said as he continued to nuzzle.

 

“So, if you’re about to get some ass worshipping in, I’d feel a lot more comfortable if I could shower first,” Mickey grinned.

 

Ian huffed out a big sigh. “Fine.  Come on.”  He backed off the bed and held his hand out to pull Mickey off as well.  When Mickey was standing, Ian still didn’t drop his hand.  Mickey quirked an eyebrow at him, but Ian just started walking towards the bathroom and Mickey had to follow, since they were still attached. 

 

Once they were in the bathroom, Ian let go of Mickey and started the water. When it was the perfect temperature he stepped into the tub, smiling at Mickey.  Mickey rolled his eyes and joined him, Ian moving to make as much room under the stream of water as possible. 

 

“I can clean myself,” Mickey said, but he was still smiling.

 

“More fun if I do it,” Ian countered. Ian reached around Mickey for the bar of soap and started sudsing Mickey’s chest up. 

 

“When you’re right, you’re right,” Mickey grinned, watching Ian’s big hands rubbing up and down his chest and torso. When Ian’s hands got down to Mickey’s waist, Ian slid his hands around and started gently running the bar of soap sideways into Mickey’s crack.  He stepped closer to Mickey to reach lower, and Mickey just had to kiss him as the warm water ran over his shoulders and between their bodies and sluiced around where they were now connected at the waist and their cocks.  Ian reciprocated the kiss readily, his fingers still cleaning Mickey’s behind.  Mickey was starting to get hard now, and Ian let the soap fall from his hand and brought one back around to grip Mickey and begin stroking. 

 

“Ian, not in here,” Mickey said as Ian started to drop to his knees. “Too slippery.”

 

“We’ve done it before,” Ian began.

 

“Yeah, but out of necessity. Today we don’t have anywhere to be and no reason not to use the bed.  Come on, let’s finish up and get back in there.”

 

Ian shrugged. It was all the same to him, although Mickey probably was right about the tub being a slippery place for a blowjob.  Plus it was murder on the knees. 

 

Ian retrieved the soap and quickly soaped himself up all over and then handed it to Mickey so he could do the same to any spots Ian hadn’t gotten to on him yet. While Mickey was using that, Ian got the Trader Joe’s body wash they used and the plastic poofy thing they had hanging on the shower head to apply it.  He lathered himself all up and then when Mickey had rinsed off the Irish Spring, Ian used the body wash on him too.  It made their skin super soft and that made sex even better.  Mickey got the shampoo and tapped on Ian’s shoulder with the plastic bottle to get him to wet his hair so Mickey could lather it up, and then Ian washed Mickey’s hair.  They were rushing, but enjoying the process all the same. 

 

When they were all rinsed off, they got out of the tub and toweled off quickly, stealing kisses and exchanging grins. They were as hot for each other as they ever were as teenagers and this little side trip to clean off was just helping stoke the fires of desire. 

 

Back in the bedroom, Ian threw his towel down on the floor in a little heap and got down on his knees upon it right in front of Mickey, who was standing next to the bed toweling off his hair vigorously. He looked down at Ian.

 

“I thought you were going to go for my ass?” he questioned.

 

“Who says I can’t do both?” Ian murmured, gently lifting Mickey’s cock and giving the underside a little stroke as he guided the tip into his mouth.

 

“Multitasking, huh?” Mickey grinned, closing his eyes at the wet warmth of Ian’s tongue gliding around the sensitive head.

 

Ian pulled his mouth off but continued to hold Mickey’s dick in his hand. “More like a list of things to do: Make Mickey come and come again,” he grinned, then put his mouth back on Mickey, his eyes still looking up.

 

Mickey scoffed, but he loved it, that Ian was so invested in making him feel good. He would be sure to repay the effort himself.  He sunk his fingers into Ian’s wet curls and gave over to feeling instead of thinking as Ian took him down deeper and deeper.  Ian had his left hand on Mickey’s naked hip and his right hand was fondling Mickey’s balls with just the right amount of pressure.  Mickey was hard by now, and resisting the urge to thrust deeper into his husband’s mouth.  He bit down on his lower lip as Ian hummed, the vibrations getting Mickey closer and closer to his release.  Ian was pulling out all the stops, doing all the little things he knew Mickey liked to get him over the edge.  He bobbed his head up and down, using his tongue on the underside of Mickey’s cock for extra sensation.  Soon enough Mickey was warning Ian he was going to come, but Ian just wrapped his hands around Mickey, pulling him in closer by his ass while he continued.  Mickey came in hot bursts and Ian swallowed it down. 

 

When Mickey was spent, Ian gently pulled his mouth off of Mickey and reached around him to pick up Mickey’s discarded towel off the bed and daintily wiped his chin and the corners of his mouth with it, grinning up at Mickey all the while. Mickey was flushed and panting and sat down hard on the edge of the bed. 

 

“Lie down,” Ian grinned, getting to his feet and tossing the towel onto the floor with the one he had rested his knees on. Mickey collapsed back onto the bed and managed to maneuver around so his body was lengthwise on the bed, and Ian joined him, facing him.  Technically Ian was on Mickey’s side of the bed, and Mickey was on Ian’s, but since they weren’t planning on sleeping it never mattered at times like these. 

 

Mickey reached for Ian’s dick, but Ian grabbed his hand and kept it away. “Not yet,” Ian said.  “I still gotta give your perfect ass some special attention.” 

 

Mickey grinned, half his face hidden by Ian’s pillow as he looked at Ian, his one visible blue eye sparkling. “Whatcha waiting for?” he asked.

 

“Figured you could use some recovery time, before the main event,” Ian answered. Mickey’s grin got bigger. 

 

“That was an excellent warm up,” Mickey said. “Can’t wait to see what you’ll do next.” 

 

Ian’s face got serious. He was looking at their hands intertwined between their bodies, but he raised his eyes to Mickey’s and asked, “Do you think this is normal?”

 

“Going twice? Sure, we do it all the time,” Mickey said.  “As a matter of fact, there’s been times we’ve…”

 

“No, but I mean, me, lately. Like this.  Do you think maybe I’m getting,” he paused, but Mickey knew what he’d say next, “manic?” 

 

Mickey shook his head against the pillow. “No,” he said simply. 

 

“Just like that? ‘No’?” Ian said.

 

“Just like that. You’re getting plenty of sleep, when Yev’s around-or when you have to go to work-you can focus on that, you’re not bringing up ideas and starting things without finishing, you’re seeing your therapist once a month…do you want me to go on?” Mickey said. 

 

This was something they had discussed early on in therapy when they got back together. Ian had still been more than a little anxious that Mickey was going to be watching over him too much, but his therapist pointed out that what Ian might be interpreting as Mickey watching him like a hawk was actually just the two of them being very in tune with their partner. 

 

“Don’t you sometimes pick up on Mickey being tired, or hungry, or in a bad mood without him saying anything?” the therapist had asked.

 

Ian and Mickey both snorted a laugh. “Ian usually notices that stuff about me before I do,” Mickey said. 

 

“And is that because you’re watching him too closely?” the doctor had asked Ian.

 

“No-it’s like you said, I’m in tune with him. I notice his moods and feelings,” Ian admitted.  “But Mickey is always looking at me,” Ian added in a sort of “I’m telling mom!” tone. 

 

The doctor just smiled and looked at Mickey. “Might there be a reason for that?” she asked Mickey directly.

 

“Fuck yeah, just look at him-he’s gorgeous, I can’t take my eyes off him,” Mickey admitted, blushing fiercely but determined to be honest.

 

Ian turned to Mickey, his mouth hanging open slightly.

 

“Ian, I have to say, you do the same to Mickey. It’s in my notes from our very first session-you two can barely take your eyes off each other.  It makes anyone else in the room feel quite invisible at times,” the doctor smiled. 

 

So since that session, Ian had let himself be more open to the ideas that Mickey wasn’t hovering or treating him like he was Ian’s nurse, and to trust that Mickey might be the first to notice when things were slipping, even before Ian himself. He trusted Mickey about that, so hearing his reasons why he didn’t think Ian’s sexual appetite was a cause for concern was reassuring.  He knew Mickey hadn’t been cataloging those reasons-he was sure Mickey only consciously noticed them once Ian asked if Mickey thought anything was off. 

 

“I want you all the time too, you know. It’s just that somehow we have to pay the bills and raise Yevgeny and do other things too.  I think your baby theory makes a lot of sense,” Mickey continued.  “I remember when Yev was an infant he was always squalling, even if I wasn’t the one going to see what he needed.  You grew up with all those younger siblings so you probably do remember how much sleep they interrupt.  Me and Mandy were babies together.” 

 

Ian scooted closer to Mickey and kissed him. Mickey tilted his head on the pillow so Ian could get to his whole mouth.  After Ian kissed him, he pressed his cheek to Mickey’s and stayed right there.  “Thank you for being here with me,” Ian whispered.  He felt Mickey’s cheek move as Mickey smiled again. 

 

“I love you,” Mickey whispered back. He closed his eyes, enjoying the weight of Ian’s face pressing down on his, the softness of Ian’s cheek against his skin. 

 

“You, ah, think your ass is ready for some attention?” Ian said quietly, nuzzling his face against Mickey’s.

 

“It’s always ready,” Mickey laughed.

 

Ian pulled back his head and looked down at Mickey. “Roll over then,” he ordered.  Mickey didn’t need to be told twice, he flopped over, sliding his arms under the pillow and holding on to it.  Ian gave his naked bottom a playful slap and then moved his body around so his legs were on either side of Mickey’s.  Mickey felt Ian’s large hands on each of his hips, guiding Mickey up, so Mickey got on all fours to give Ian better access to his ass. 

 

Ian’s large, warm hands trailed up Mickey’s thighs and then rested on his butt cheeks. Mickey felt a thrill of anticipation run through him.  Ian had gotten quiet, which meant his was concentrating on what he wanted to do next, and that always boded well for Mickey.  Ian’s thumbs were rubbing circles into Mickey’s flesh.  Ian watched the way Mickey’s muscles bounced and jiggled when Ian pushed the heels of his hands into Mickey and then pulled them away.  Mickey hung his head down between his shoulders and rolled his neck.  Soon he felt Ian’s warm breath ghosting his backside and he knew things were about to heat up again. 

 

Ian started pressing soft kisses into the mounds of flesh, and then gently pulled Mickey’s cheeks apart and gave his perineum a lick, continuing up and over Mickey’s hole. Mickey groaned happily and Ian started lapping around the ring of muscles, and then finally let his tongue push inside.  Mickey was wriggling with the feeling. 

 

“Gimme that strawberry lube,” Ian muttered and Mickey cursed and reached for the drawer next to the bed. They always forgot to get the stuff out first, even after all this time.  They got caught up in making each other feel good and then remembered the supplies at the very moment they needed them most.  Mickey grabbed whatever his hand could reach and tossed it all on the bed near Ian.  He hoped what Ian had wanted was there, he was too busy enjoying Ian’s tongue to open his eyes to see. 

 

The edible lube was among the tubes Mickey tossed to Ian, and soon one of Ian’s fingers had joined his tongue in working on Mickey. Mickey looked back over his shoulder to grin at Ian, but Ian couldn’t see it since his face was buried behind Mickey’s butt.  Mickey slowly arched his back and pushed back gently towards Ian to express his enjoyment.  Ian added another strawberry covered finger and began scissoring Mickey open more.  Ian removed his face so he could catch his breath, and crooked his fingers inside Mickey, finding his prostate and making Mickey whimper in pleasure.  Ian smiled and kissed Mickey’s butt some more and worked a third finger inside. 

 

“Ian, ungh, so so good, but, man, I’m ready. Get in me, please,” Mickey begged, his dick already hard and leaking without Ian ever touching him there yet. 

 

Ian grinned and squeezed Mickey’s thigh with his hand that wasn’t all lubed up. His erection had been throbbing the more Mickey was getting into what his tongue and fingers were doing.  He picked up a bottle of regular lube and slicked himself up, moaning as he did so.  Mickey was looking back over his shoulder at him, already flushed and breathing heavy and it added to Ian’s lust.  

 

Ian got up on his knees as he wiped his hands off on the sheets (they’d need to be changed after all this anyway) and positioned himself behind Mickey. He firmly grasped Mickey’s left hip with his left hand and lined himself up with his right, slowly guiding himself into Mickey while Mickey took deep breaths and pushed back to help adjust to Ian’s size filling him up. 

 

“Fuck, yeah,” Mickey whispered. Ian always felt so good connecting to him like this.  Ian was all the way in and he let his other hand fall to the bed to hold him over Mickey while he leaned forward to kiss Mickey’s shoulder and throat.  Ian could feel Mickey’s pulse throbbing under his tongue and he let out a little growl.  Mickey arched his neck and Ian nuzzled his way up to behind Mickey’s ear and kissed and nibbled there, right where he knew Mickey liked it.  Mickey bucked back into him and said, “Fuck, Ian, move, I’m ready, let me have it.”  Ian grinned and gave Mickey’s earlobe a little bite and then moved back so he could use his hands on Mickey’s hips for leverage and really pound into him. 

 

Mickey was letting Ian know he was hitting the spot, moaning and cursing and yelling Ian’s name. They loved having the house to themselves like this, when they could just let go and be loud and physical.  Ian was making noises too, against the background sounds of skin slapping as he jackhammered into Mickey. 

 

“Ian, touch me, I’m…I want to come,” Mickey was saying-babbling, really. Ian pulled out and pulled on one of Mickey’s hips. 

 

“Flip over, wanna see you,” Ian said. Mickey did as he was told, and Ian slid one of his arms under one of Mickey’s legs and pushed it up for leverage while he inserted his cock back into Mickey.  Ian’s arm was pushing against Mickey’s thigh as he picked up his rhythm again.  Ian looked down into Mickey’s eyes.  “Good?”

 

“So fucking good, touch me,” Mickey said, putting his hands on either side of Ian’s face and holding his gaze.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Ian said, disentangling his arm to do as Mickey wished while still holding himself up with his other arm. Mickey wrapped his legs around Ian’s waist and used his calves to pull Ian closer while bucking his hips up to meet Ian’s thrusts.  Ian managed to get his hand between them and started stroking Mickey.  Mickey gasped and laughed in pretty much the same breath and then Ian was kissing him, their lips opening to each other and their tongues meeting.  Mickey had his hands in Ian’s hair now, pulling him ever closer.  Everything was hot and exquisite and as much as they didn’t want the moment to end, they were both close to falling over the edge.  Mickey tugged hard on Ian’s hair and bit at his bottom lip.  Ian opened his eyes and said, “Mick, come, come right now.”  Mickey’s eyes blinked open and he stared into Ian’s eyes and came.  Mickey’s muscles were clenching around Ian’s cock and that’s all he needed and he was coming too, saying Mickey’s name over and over.  His thrusts slowed down to gentle rolls and Mickey hung onto his shoulders all through it. 

 

Ian gently pulled out and rolled onto his side, facing Mickey. He found his hand on the mattress and held it again.  Mickey was smiling at him, too tired and sated to say anything, but they didn’t need words right then.  As soon as he had the energy, Mickey rolled closer to Ian and kissed him gently, then pulled back and stared into his eyes some more.  Ian looked right back, but eventually one of them blinked, then the other, then they were asleep.

 

In the end, the breakfast didn’t exactly go to waste. Mickey put it in their compost bin a few hours later while Ian made lunch, and it went to help fertilize the rose bushes.

 

One afternoon in October, Mickey and Ian were enjoying some alone time. Mickey had snuck out of work a couple of hours early and Yev was going to be with his mother after school and it was one of Ian’s days off.  They were lying in bed, the late afternoon sun cutting across their bed in a swath that ran right across Ian’s chest.  Mickey was running his hand through the red hairs there, watching them flare like flames in the fire place, Mickey’s wedding band glinting when the light hit it.  If Mickey had only looked up just then, he’d have seen Ian watching him with love glowing in his eyes.  Mickey was entranced, studying the play of the light on the fine soft hairs and then looking at Ian’s erect nipple and thinking that maybe if he put his tongue on it, he could initiate a round two. 

 

But just then Ian’s phone rang, and when Ian saw who the caller was, he sat bolt upright, almost knocking heads with Mickey.

 

“Carolyn? Is everything okay?  Is it time?” Ian said.  Mickey’s eyes got huge as soon as he heard Ian say their surrogate’s name. 

 

“Yeah? You feeling okay?  It doesn’t hurt too much, does it?” Ian was saying.  Mickey wished he’d put the call on speaker.

 

“All right, yup, we’ll see you there. Uh, thanks,” he said, a huge grin on his face while he looked at Mickey.  As soon as he disconnected the call he told Mickey, “She’s in labor, and the doctor told her if it continues to be at the hospital in an hour-she called us to give us time to get ready.”  Ian giggled, the excitement was palatable.  Mickey was excited too. 

 

“Oh, man, yeah, thank god. Don’t want to be smelling like we just had sex when we get there,” Mickey said, the smile on his face as big as could be. 

 

Ian giggled again. He kissed Mickey.  They both sat on the bed staring at each other, smiling. 

 

“Oh shit, Mickey! We gotta go!” Ian finally realized.  He jumped up off the bed then pulled Mickey up by his hand and kissed him again.  “She’s coming, she’s finally coming.  I think I’m gonna puke,” Ian said, the color draining from his face. 

 

“Whoa, hold on there, tough guy. Why don’t you sit down a minute?  We got time.  Carolyn said she’d be at the hospital in an hour?”  Ian nodded.  “Okay, wait here.  Stay seated, okay?”  Mickey left the room and was back quickly with a bottled water.  He twisted the top off and gave it to Ian.  “Drink it slowly,” Mickey said.  Once he saw Ian taking a sip, he walked into the bathroom and returned with a wet facecloth.  He pressed it to the back of Ian’s neck gently.  It was cool and soothing. 

 

“I’m okay, Mick. Just got overwhelmed for a second there.”

 

“I know, it’s okay,” Mickey said. “We’re still not in any hurry, just take a minute.”  Mickey kissed the top of Ian’s head. 

 

“Carolyn said she’d started getting pains last night, but they told her not to come in till they were five minutes apart for two hours,” Ian said. Mickey nodded, he could tell from Ian’s voice he was calmer now.  “She said for the past hour it’s been every five minutes.”  Ian smiled again, thinking about it.  “Our baby’s coming, Mickey,” he added, looking up at Mickey with wonder in his big eyes.  Mickey smiled at Ian. 

 

“Yeah,” he said, his voice thick. “I’ll, ah, I’ll text Svetlana and let her know while you’re in the shower, then I’ll take mine, yeah?” 

 

“Sounds good,” Ian said, taking another sip of water and then placing the bottle on the bedside table. He stood up.  “I feel better, steadier.  Thanks, Mick.”  He pulled Mickey into a hug, and Mickey turned his face up and Ian kissed him, their nakedness a nonfactor.  They just wanted to be close for a moment.  They broke the kiss and grinned at each other.  This was it.

 

At the hospital they helped each other into their gowns and covered up their hair and were shown into the delivery room. They said hello to Carolyn and her sister, who was acting as birth coach.  Carolyn had told them from the start she was comfortable with them being in the room for the birth of their daughter, and they had met Carolyn’s sister Rachel at a few appointments along the way.  Ian had already turned down the offer to cut the umbilical cord, the thought made him squirm.  Ian and Mickey planned to stay up near Carolyn’s shoulders for the birth, they wanted to be there, but they didn’t need to see their daughter emerge from the surrogate’s body. 

 

Carolyn was in good spirits. “Compared to having my daughter, this labor’s been going easier,” she told them.  “All day yesterday I was getting pangs, but nothing too serious, then overnight they started coming more frequently, and now here we are.” 

 

Rachel was nodding. “Last time you kept starting and stopping over a few days.   This time it’s happening more quickly.” 

 

They still had a bit of a wait, the doctor came in once to see where things were and said she’d be back, and nurses and the monitors were keeping constant track of Carolyn’s progress. Rachel fed her ice chips and held her hand and did her breathing with her, and Ian and Mickey held her other hand and adjusted her pillow and did whatever was asked of them-and held each other’s hand when there wasn’t anything else to do. 

 

Suddenly everything started happening really quickly. The doctor came in and read a monitor and nurses were getting in position and the doctor took her seat in front of the stirrups and told Carolyn she’d be able to push on the next contraction.  Ian and Mickey stood close by each other, Ian was holding Carolyn’s hand and Mickey was holding Ian’s other hand, and time sort of both slowed down and sped up because it seemed like an eternity of waiting but suddenly the baby was out and being brought to a table to be cleaned and measured and tested while Carolyn laid back and let her sister wipe her face with a wet towel and the doctor and nurses took care of things at her other end. 

 

Ian and Mickey were craning their heads trying to see the baby who was crying and causing everyone to smile.

 

“Seven pounds, eleven ounces, eighteen and a half inches long,” one of the nurses called over from the table. Ian and Mickey hugged each other and pounded each other on the back and didn’t know what to do with themselves. 

 

A nurse walked over to them, the baby wrapped up in a blanket in her arms.

 

“Here she is,” she said. Ian’s arms reached for the baby.  The nurse smiled up at him and gently placed the baby in his arms.

 

Ian looked down, and the baby was looking right back at him, her dark blue eyes already alert. Ian felt a wave of responsibility wash over him-it was completely up to him and Mickey to take care of this life, to feed her, to keep her safe, to keep her warm.  But even stronger than that was a feeling of love for the baby coursing through him. 

 

“Hi, Piper. I’m your daddy, and this is your dad,” he said, tilting his head towards Mickey.  Ian couldn’t take his eyes off the baby.  She was perfect.  She had soft tiny waves of red gold hairs all over her head, and little eyebrows, and perfect little eyelashes.  Her cheeks were rounded and one of her little hands had already escaped the blanket she was wrapped in and Ian could see her little fingers flexing and the perfect pink fingernails.  He hadn’t thought she’d be so…complete, already. 

 

“You wanna hold her?” he whispered to Mickey, who was standing as close as he could, taking in all the details of this little miracle too. Mickey nodded, and Ian handed her over to him carefully.  Once she was snugly in Mickey’s arms, Ian wrapped his arm around Mickey’s back and squeezed him in a sideways hug.  He rested his head on Mickey’s, looking down at their girl with him.  


“Thank you for bringing her into the world with me,” Ian said right into Mickey’s ear. “She’s the most beautiful thing to happen to me since falling in love with you.” 

 

Mickey flushed and gave Ian a look that said he loved Ian too. Then he looked back at the baby.

 

“Well look at you!” he said, smiling. The baby was looking right back at him.  “All sweet and pink, and tiny.  You’re a very pretty little girl, Rosebud.”

 

Ian looked up at the ceiling and grinned. Not even in this world fifteen minutes and Mickey had given her a nickname already.  Ian was going to note that in the baby book for sure. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, better late than never, right? I started this story as a protest of Season 6 and now I'm finally wrapping it up after all of Season 7 aired ;) 
> 
> I hope everyone who has read this has enjoyed the bits and pieces I imagined for Gallavich to have in a happier life, and I wouldn't be too surprised if one day I get inspired to check back in on this version of Mickey and Ian and their family and see how things are going. 
> 
> I thank everyone for their comments and kudos and hits along the way!


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